Change of Heart: Captain's Prerogative, Part II
by fictiongal
Summary: "The weapon was targeted on Earth counting down the final seconds, and I froze," Picard said. "If not for Data, no one on Earth would have survived. So, yes, I decided it was time to resign. I needed a fresh start and Shea has given it to me. I'm sorry I've pulled the Enterprise into it, however. That was never intended." More adventure, romance & Q. Please r/r.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: ****For those of you jumping in without having read my previous novel, "Captain's Prerogative." **

**Warning, this is a spoiler alert for anyone who would rather start at the beginning. If so, stop reading here and go to "Captain's Prerogative" for the full story. **

**For those who prefer a shortcut, here in a nutshell is what you need to know... **

**Nine years earlier, following his experience with the Nexus, Picard encountered Shea, a genetically engineered woman, and fell in love, not knowing that Shea was the creation of an omnipotent being known as D by the Q Continuum. To protect his ship and crew, he banished her, despite his personal feelings. He hasn't seen or heard from her since.**

**One more thing - I'm posting this as I write it, so it may be a bit rough. I try to be careful but if you find typos or other "oops" please let me know so I can correct them. Thanks!**

* * *

**Change of Heart**

Chapter 1

He stood in Ten-Forward looking at the passing stars out the view window beside the table where they had so often sat and debated and argued and finally seen eye-to-eye. He could never quite bring himself to sit there again, yet he felt compelled to come here periodically and remember. Why he still engaged in this personal form of torture after all these years was beyond him… but there it was. He sighed deeply.

"Captain?" Guinan's voice startled him. He turned in her direction. "Can I get you anything?" she asked.

"No. Thank you, Guinan. I was just leaving."

She tilted her head questioningly. "You don't look like you're leaving. You look like you're frozen in place."

"I was just… thinking."

"You mean reminiscing," she corrected him.

He frowned at her. "Your point?"

"All this time. You still miss her."

He looked away, back at the stars. There was no point in arguing or trying to deceive Guinan. "Doesn't matter," he said. "I made my decision that day. I've learned to live with it."

"Have you now?" Her brown face smiled gently at him, but her eyes challenged him.

"I appreciate your concern, Guinan, truly. But there is little point in this discussion. As you well know we must accept things as they are, not how we wish them to be."

"That's true. Unless one is merely settling for that which offers the least challenge."

"The least challenge? Is that what you think?" He scowled at her.

She merely shrugged and didn't answer him.

"Guinan, what exactly are you trying to tell me?"

"Captain, I've watched you struggle with this off and on for the last nine years. Obviously, it's not going away. Or else you wouldn't be standing here… again… thinking about this… again. So maybe it's not too late. If you have the will and the desire, maybe you can change your mind, even now."

"Change my mind? I hardly think that would be possible, even if I were so inclined."

Guinan shrugged again, "Perhaps not. Or perhaps all you need do is ask." With that, she walked away.

_Ask? Ask who?_ he had wanted to say, but even as the question formed in his mind, he already knew the answer. D, the Old One, the omnipotent being who had taken her from him. But that wasn't exactly true. D had given him a choice. It was he, himself, who had chosen to relinquish her, to reject her… to betray her. He'd had little choice, he reminded himself once more. His decision had been for the good of this ship. Her presence on board had simply been incompatible with their mission. She was too disruptive. Her personal influence over him in particular had been dramatic and disturbing. He hadn't been himself. Or he had been completely himself. He could never quite figure out which of those two statements was accurate. He supposed that was what really bothered him, not ever coming to grips with what that experience had meant. Had she been the most terrifying thing that had ever happened to him, or the most wonderful one of all? They couldn't both be true, yet somehow they were.

Recent events had sparked his memories again. Battling a clone of his own had reminded him of those clones of Shea those many years ago. It was a strange feeling seeing yourself in that form, feeling at once connected, yet repelled, feeling both protective and threatened. Very strange, indeed. It had made him understand Shea's reactions to her clones far more than he had at the time. As she had killed her clone, Picard too had personally killed his own. The comparison was hard to avoid and kept coming back to him. Those thoughts continued with him as he had supervised repairs to the Enterprise, and returned even now that the Enterprise was back on mission, with new crew members selected to replace those lost in action as well as those who had departed voluntarily. He found himself sighing deeply again, something that seemed to have become a habit of late. He couldn't help it.

He missed Data. The knowledge that his android friend had sacrificed himself to save his Captain was a burden Picard carried with a deep sense of guilt and sadness. B-4, Data's so-called earlier version brother, held Data's memories in his positronic brain, but not Data's personality. Picard held hopes that one day B-4 would evolve as Data had, but it would be a long time coming, if ever.

Picard also especially missed Will Riker and Deanna Troi. Will was proving difficult to replace. Worf was serving as his Number One for now, but only under protest, claiming he was not fit for the position. Picard disagreed, of course, but Worf insisted the assignment should be temporary. And then there was T'Pawl, his new Vulcan Ship's Counselor. While clearly skilled, T'Pawl was a cold substitute for Deanna's empathy. Still, he could hardly fault Will and Deanna for their decision to move on. Picard was proud of his Number One taking command of the Titan, and knew he and Deanna were content living there onboard joined in marriage. Their wedding had been a joyous event, the happiest he could recall in many years. He thought of their union and smiled inside, but he also recognized that beneath the happiness he felt for them lay a touch of envy. There was no shared bliss for him… merely duty, obligation and his continuing responsibilities to his ship, her crew, and the Federation. He supposed it was that same envy which lay at the core of his renewed thoughts of Shea.

But enough ruminating about ancient history and old hurts, he decided. It was pointless and needlessly painful. He turned away from the table and the window and headed for the Bridge.

Over the next few days, despite his determination to set such thoughts aside, his mind kept returning to his conversation with Guinan. He really didn't want to think about Shea at all, but visions of her pervaded his dreams. Not a new phenomenon certainly, but since dealing with his clone, it had been occurring nearly as frequently and intensely as it had in those first few months following her sudden departure. This morning he had actually startled himself awake by crying out her name in his sleep. He found his thoughts straying far too often, and he felt distracted from his duties. If Deanna were still here, he would have swallowed his pride and made an appointment. It wouldn't have been the first time this subject had come up. Counselor Troi had been invaluable to him, helping him learn to live with the choice he had made. But now, he had T'Pawl. He just couldn't fathom discussing this with her. It wasn't exactly following protocol, but Picard decided Deanna was the only person he was willing to talk to. That night, before retiring, he sent her a subspace message, requesting a counseling session.

Deanna waited for the Captain to appear onscreen in her office on the Titan, knowing he was on his way to keep the appointment which they had made earlier in the day for a subspace live-link communication. "The dreams are back," he had told her simply in his message. Of course, she had known immediately what he meant. She had felt he was troubled, even before she and Will had left for the Titan, but assumed it was over recent events. The meeting of his clone and need to destroy it had been difficult for him emotionally, but she hadn't anticipated the experience would resurrect regrets about Shea again. Deanna mentally berated herself for not seeing the connection, which in retrospect seemed a bit obvious. Her intercom buzzed alerting her that Captain Picard was ready to take her call. When his face appeared, she said, "Hello, Captain. It's good to see you."

Captain Picard gave her a half smile in greeting. "Thank you for making time for me, Deanna. I know this is a bit outside of your duties."

She shook her head. "You don't need to thank me. I will always make time for you."

He took a deep breath, as if about to speak, but then merely grimaced and looked aside.

"The dreams, Captain?" she prompted.

He nodded. "Yes, the dreams. Back again, in full force. I can't seem to shake them."

"Do you want to shake them?"

He met her gaze. "Of course. I'm distracted, unable to concentrate. It's completely unacceptable."

"Are these dreams different from those you have experienced in the past?"

The visions swept through him again, seeing himself with her, joined physically and mentally, the ecstatic pleasure of their bond until she was suddenly torn from him, seeming to pull his heart from his chest, and tear the very soul of his mind in half.

"Not really," he answered evenly. "They just seem to have returned with a vengeance."

"I see," she said. "Do you think meeting your own clone refreshed these memories in you?"

"Initially," he agreed.

"But…"

"But now I think it has more to do with a conversation I recently had with Guinan."

Deanna frowned at that. Guinan had amazing insight, but her efforts at playing amateur psychologist often backfired, leaving people on the receiving end of her comments more disturbed than helped. "Why don't you tell me about it."

"She caught me staring out a window in Ten-Forward and pretty much nailed me on what I was thinking. When I told her it was pointless to discuss something that couldn't be changed, she said maybe it wasn't too late."

"What do you think she meant by that?"

"I asked her the same thing. She replied, 'Perhaps all you need do is ask.' Quite frankly, I haven't been able to think of much else since she said it."

"Oh, Captain," Deanna said in alarm, "You're not seriously thinking…"

"No, no, I…" he fell off. "At least, I don't think I am. I mean, it's probably not even possible. Why Guinan even said it, I don't know, but…"

"But now you're obsessed."

"Obsessed?" He wanted to feel insulted, even outraged, but it was so true, all he could do was offer a bitter smile. "Yes, obsessed. Obsessed with the idea that maybe, just maybe I could reverse my decision, change my mind."

"What about all the reasons on which you originally based your decision?"

"All still there, of course. Still a problem. Which is why I'm here with you now."

"To resolve your inner conflict," she summarized for him.

"Precisely. I let her go because it was the best choice for the Enterprise and her crew. They are my primary responsibility and I have sworn to uphold the interests of the Federation above my own."

"But if the two were not in conflict?"

He smiled at that thought. "Then I would not hesitate to ask."

"Well." She paused to think, trying to see how best to counsel him."Clearly you have a conflict of interest. So unless, you can come up with a way that a relationship with her would not jeopardize your duties as a Captain, you don't really have the option of asking, do you?"

"No, not unless I could come up with a way," Picard replied. The thought of a way had long since been floating in the back of his mind, but he hesitated to give it voice.

"Captain?" Deanna cocked her head at him. "What is it you're not saying?"

The silence stretched, but Deanna was patient. Finally, he spoke the thought aloud.

"I could relinquish command. Retire from Starfleet altogether."

That took Deanna by surprise and she swallowed the idea with difficulty. "You'd give up command for her?"

Picard didn't meet Deanna's eyes, but he answered. "I think so."

"I… I don't know what to say."

"That's all right, you've helped me more than you know," he pulled his shirt straight. "Thank you, Counselor," he said and clicked off leaving Deanna with her mouth slightly open.

Retired to his quarters, Picard kept thinking the same thing. _Perhaps all you need do is ask._ Ask, just ask. But how? Send a message on all channels into the vastness of space. Yell? Scream? Pray? Did he dare even try? What if D actually showed up? Talk about putting the Enterprise at risk. Who knew how D would respond? Perhaps if Picard were off ship, alone, isolated, but even as he thought that perhaps distancing himself from the Enterprise would be a wise precaution he recognized it would have no effect. No matter what physical distance he put between himself and the Enterprise, its safety would always be foremost in his thoughts. D could easily reach out to grab anything in this universe whenever it pleased him and D would not hesitate to use his loyalities against him. He knew the risks and couldn't believe he was even contemplating trying to communicate with D, but the more he thought about it, the more he recognized that the idea was now so firmly lodged in his mind it would never go away until he tried. _Ask, just ask._ Such a simple idea, such a terrifying one, and so very tempting. Either nothing would happen, or everything would. The urge came again, insistent.

_Don't do it. Don't even think about it. Think about something else._

He grabbed a book from his shelf. Dickens, _A Tale of Two Cities_. He hadn't read the classic novel since he was a young man, but remembered how much he had enjoyed it. The well known opening line stopped him cold. "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." He put the book back on the shelf. He reached for his old standby, Shakespeare, but immediately, the memory of D in the form of Derek showing him the original manuscript of 'Twelfth Night' sprung to mind. He moved his hand away. Picard hadn't believed Derek at the time when he'd said he had gotten the ancient manuscript from the author himself. Picard believed it now. Moody, changeable, egocentric beyond measure, D was a being so dangerous and unpredictable that the Q paled in comparison. Thinking of Q it occurred to him that perhaps what he needed was an intermediary. If Q could speak on his behalf, insolate him from the darker side of D's persona... But he also remembered how D had dominated Q, turned him into a gelatinous blob, then folded him up and deposited him into a breast pocket as easily as if Q were a mere handkerchief. How much protection could Q provide, assuming he had even survived that encounter? Picard had seen no indication that Q still existed in this universe since the day that it had happened. Not that he missed him or had ever wanted to see him again. Not until now.

"Q," the name issued in a near whisper from his lips almost before he realized it. He covered his mouth. He hadn't said it very loud. He looked about his quarters. Nothing appeared out of the ordinary. He felt relieved and if he were honest with himself, a little disappointed. But mainly relieved, he told himself. Lucky for him, Q hadn't heard… assuming he still could.

But the thought that Q might actually have ceased to exist was disquieting. Annoying at times, frightening at others, Q had played a dangerous game of cat and mouse with Picard many times. Picard did not enjoy being the mouse. Yet, to his own surprise, the idea that D might have dealt a fatal blow to Picard's tormentor and sometime protector saddened him. They had a shared history, he and Q, and even at his most demented and most interfering, Q had offered an intellectual challenge Picard could not deny appreciating. Perhaps on some level, he had even felt flattered that a being of his nature would take a personal interest in him. He frowned and sighed.

"Why Captain Picard, I'm touched. Truly I am." Picard spun around to find Q outstretched on his sofa. "to paraphrase your illustrious Mark Twain, 'rumors of my demise have been grossly exaggerated.'"

"So I see," Picard replied. "You heard me apparently."

"Oh yes. In word and thought." Q squinted at him. "You've been thinking about Shea. Thinking about changing your mind. Thinking about asking a certain someone if you can have her back."

Picard merely nodded in affirmation, not trusting himself to speak his desires aloud.

"And you've called me. You actually want my advice, don't you?"

"Yes, I actually do. In this regard, I think perhaps you are the only…" he chose the next word carefully, "friend… that I can turn to."

"Friend? You consider me a friend, Picard? If so, you have a funny way of showing it. It's been nine of your years since you've seen me last and I wasn't in good shape at the time. Only now, do you even try to see if I survived and only because you want something from me. How is that being a friend, Captain?"

"Not a very good one, I admit. In truth I don't know if you are a friend or not. I don't know what to think of your interest in me. You put me on trial forcing me to represent all of humanity with the threat of annihilation if I failed your test, you risked our lives by introducing us to the Borg, you've tempted members of my crew, and meddled in my personal life on more than one occasion. Are those the acts of a friend?"

"I was getting to know you," Q said petulantly. "Humans are an odd lot, difficult to quantify. You can't blame me for trying to see if you were worthy. It took awhile. I wasn't sure if I wanted to be your friend or not."

"So, are you now?" Picard asked.

"That depends on how you define 'friend' I suppose."

"I define a friend as someone I can rely on, who will support me in times of need, promote my welfare and protect my interests whenever possible. In other words, a friend is someone I can trust."

"Oh I like that, Jean-luc. Yes, I'd like you to trust me."

"I'd like that too. The question is are you worthy?"

"Oh…" Q looked at him with wide eyes, having the tables turned on him. "Am I worthy of your trust? Yes. Yes, I am. How can I prove this to you?"

"You can support me now."

Q nodded in understanding. "You want me to help you get Shea back."

"Act as my intermediary, Q. You may succeed, where I might fail."

"I don't know. This is a touchy subject. You're asking a lot."

"Nevertheless, I am asking."

"So you are. You are a brave man, Captain. But it will be asked why you want this now? What is it that has changed your mind?"

"Time, Q. Time to reflect, time to regret. Time to finally come to the realization that she has become more important to me than my career in Starfleet."

" More important? Again you take me by surprise, Jean-luc. But then time does have a way of making things clear in retrospect, doesn't it? Hmmm… this may change things. I will see what I can do. I'm making no promises, mind you and I can't predict the outcome, but I will relay your request."

"That's all I can ask. Thank you."

"You're welcome, …friend," Q said with a nod and vanished from sight.

The night passed with no further contact. Picard slept fitfully and returned to his duties in the morning. He felt on edge, but managed to suppress his nerves enough not to be questioned by his subordinates. Then T'Pawl asked to see him. He didn't especially want to see her, but there seemed no getting around it. When she sat down in the chair in front of his desk in his ready room, she lifted a single eyebrow questioningly as Vulcans were so prone to do.

"Is there a problem, Counselor?" he asked.

"I am here to see whether there is or not. I received an interesting communication from Counselor Troi of the USS Titan. It would seem you prefer to consult with her over your own Ship's Counselor."

Picard grimaced. "I meant no disrespect T'Pawl and I do not question your credentials. It's simply because Deanna and I have a shared history."

"I understand, Captain. And I'm sure you understand that it is my duty to evaluate your mental health."

Picard sat back. "Are you questioning it now?"

"That depends. Counselor Troi indicated that you might be considering a dangerous path. That you might be thinking about getting in touch with a powerful and dangerous entity identified as D."

"And if I were?"

"Then I would have to question the state of your mental health."

"I see."

"Do you question my logic, Captain?"

"No T'Pawl, your logic is impeccable. And I promise that if I receive any contact from said entity, I will inform you immediately."

T'Pawl nodded. "That is gratifying to know. I would also like to know if in fact you have attempted to initiate contact."

For the briefest moment, Picard considered lying. Instead, he said, "I have."

"Do you not recognize that this was a dangerous act? I do not understand why you would choose to take such a risk."

"No. You wouldn't. And I can't explain it to you in any terms you might understand. Let's just say, I weighed the benefits against the risks, and found it to be the most logical choice I could make."

"I will have to put this in my report, Captain."

"Understood."

Another night passed, then another. A week went by. Nothing. After a month, his hopes began to fade.

Picard sat in the Captains chair. They were on way to pick up the Bajoran ambassador for the peace conference Picard was scheduled to moderate between the ambassador's world and the newly reordered Romulan Empire, when Q suddenly popped into existence on the Bridge before him.

"Hello, friend," he said.

"Hello, Q," Picard replied, feeling his pulse quickening. He wondered if he were truly prepared for this.

"I delivered your request," Q told him.

"And the answer?"

"We shall see." Q shrugged and vanished again.

"What was that about?" Commander Worf asked.

Picard remained silent.

Counselor T'Pawl who was also on duty on the Bridge turned to him. "Does this pertain to our previous discussion?"

Picard looked from his first officer to his new counselor and decided he wasn't about to discuss this with either of them. "I'll be in my ready room," he told them.

Not long after, Deanna's image stared at him from his personal viewscreen once he had finally agreed to accept her incoming call.

"Oh, Captain, you didn't. Tell me you didn't," she insisted.

"I'm afraid so," he replied.

"Someone want to tell me what's going on?" Riker asked from behind her.

"It's a personal matter, Will." Picard responded.

"No, it's not," Deanna contradicted him. "This involves all of us." She turned to Riker. "It's about _her_."

Riker scowled for a moment, but then the pieces fell into place. "Shea? You've asked for her?"

"It's not your concern, Will, or anyone else's." He looked at Deanna meaningfully. "As I said, this is personal. When and if, this matter ever affects you, or anyone else on board a Federation vessel, I will address it. Until then, end of discussion. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal," Riker replied and shared a look with Deanna. Picard clicked off communication.

As the days went by, and the conference came and went, no one dared breach the topic with the Captain again, though clearly it was on everyone's mind and their tension and worry flowed like an underground river. Worf and T'Pawl discussed the issue in private, and teleconferenced with Riker and Deanna, but as time passed uneventfully, they began to relax and started to believe that nothing would come of the Captain's request. Still, as a precautionary measure the Titan remained in close proximity able to reach the Enterprise quickly if needed.

Picard was seated in the Captain's chair as the Enterprise prepared to leave orbit around Earth after a recent visit for family shore leaves and a graduation ceremony at Starfleet Academy where Picard had been featured as the commencement speaker. He didn't mind. He always enjoyed seeing those young eager new faces ready to embark on the adventure of their lives.

"Captain," Worf announced, "An unidentified vessel is de-cloaking off our starboard bow."

"On screen," Picard ordered. The vessel was less than a quarter the size of the Enterprise, and of unfamiliar design. It's cylindrical surface was darkly reflective, almost mirror-like.

"We are being hailed."

"Open a channel on screen."

The field of stars turned into an image.

"I understand you wanted to see me, Captain?" Shea stared down at Picard with her emerald green cat-eyes. She was every bit as beautiful and fearsome as he remembered.

He rose to his feet, for a moment lost for words. Then he found them. "Yes, I would like to speak with you."

"Permission to come aboard?"

"Granted."

"No! Captain!" Worf protested, but it was already too late. She was materializing before him even as he voiced his objection.

"Nice to see you too, Worf," she said sarcastically. She wore a jumpsuit, sleeveless, but otherwise not dissimilar to their own. She turned to the Captain expectantly.

"Would you come to my ready room, please," he said and she followed him in.

For a moment he just stared at her, not quite believing this wasn't one of his dreams. "You're really here, aren't you?"

"In the flesh. Q told me what you said. That I'm more important to you than your career. Is that true?"

Picard nodded. "I think it may be so."

"Surprising, considering what you decided nine years ago."

"Yes, I know. It seemed the only choice I could make at the time."

"But now, you want to change your mind?"

"Apparently, I'm a slow learner."

"Slow?" She smiled a bit at that. "I'm not sure I would ever apply that description to you. Stubborn, certainly, opinionated yes, highly resentful of and resistant to any perceived manipulation, most definitely." She dropped into a chair in front of his desk and stared at him. "I was very upset and disappointed with you for long while. But in retrospect, I had to finally recognize that it was my own fault. I pushed you too hard, too fast… I used everything I had to manipulate you into being with me, and you knew it. You enjoyed it on the one hand, but despised it on the other. I had no right."

He hadn't expected this. For her to take responsibility for his deeply conflicted emotions about her. He had thought he might find himself on bended knee begging for her forgiveness. Instead, she was apologizing to him. He felt overwhelmed.

"Is it too late for us?" he asked finally. "Is there any chance we could try again? With both of us knowing exactly what we're getting into?"

"Are you sure that you do?" she asked.

"Well, I know a lot more than I did the last time." He smiled cautiously at her. "Though I suspect there's still much to learn."

She nodded in agreement to that. "It would require a leap of faith on your part."

"I'm prepared to jump," he said, "if you will have me." He opened his arms to her. When she rose and filled them he felt such a rush of repressed emotions that he wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. He found himself doing both, as he held on tightly. When he felt calm again, he pulled back enough to look her in the face. "I assume this means yes?"

"It's been a long time coming, but yes."

He smiled at that and went to kiss her, but she put a finger to his lips. "Not yet."

"I've waited nine years, and now you think I'm rushing things?"

She laughed. "Hardly. I just want to make sure you're fully informed."

"Very well. I noticed you have a ship."

"How very observant of you," she teased. "Would you like to see it?"

"I would."

She nodded and he felt himself being transported.

"Commander," the Bridge operations officer alerted Worf, "Two persons have beamed aboard the other vessel. Shea and the Captain."

"Worf to Captain Picard!"

Picard's voice responded. "I'm all right, Worf. I'm taking a tour of her ship. I'll contact you later. Picard out."

"A tour?" Worf echoed in disbelief. He turned to his communications officer," Send an emergency alert to Capt. Riker of the Titan informing him of our situation." He next addressed the officer at operations, ""Run a scan on that ship. I want to know how many life forms are onboard, what it's made of, everything and anything you can tell me about it. Counselor T'Paul, did you sense anything from the Captain? Is he under duress?"

She shook her head. "No. If anything he sounded pleased with himself."

Worf let out a sound of disgust before he could stop himself.

Shea smiled at Picard. "They're scanning my ship."

"Is that a problem?"

"Not for me."

"And what will they learn?"

"Something surprising… this is no ordinary vessel. It's a life form."

"A living ship? Like the one we encountered, the one which called itself Gomtuu?"

"Distantly related, no doubt. But this one is a hybrid, an engineered combination of biology and machine."

Picard frowned at that. "Like a Borg."

"A bit. I'm sorry your encounter with that Borg queen left such a bitter impression. Not all Borg are like her. They're not all bent on assimilation. I've found that some are respectful of other life forms."

"So there are more of them then?"

"Oh yes. Many more."

"I'm sorry to hear that. So what else will the Enterprise's scan reveal?"

"A small crew - twenty-seven in total. A variety of humanoid races. Handpicked. All male."

He looked at her sideways.

"Keeps life simple. No shore leave required."

He sighed deeply. "I see."

"Problem, Captain?"

He half-smiled. "Well, it's a new way of thinking for me. But I'm trying to be more…" he searched for the right word, "…flexible."

"Good. An open mind will be a necessary component if we have any chance of starting over, as you said."

Picard nodded recognizing there was a lot he didn't know. She continued her tour and answered his questions, one by one. The ship was impressive in many respects, but as time went by and they passed it cordially, he recognized they were both avoiding discussing how this was going to work, if it would at all. He was just about to summon the courage to address it, when his communicator buzzed.

"Captain Riker to Captain Picard."

"Will?"

"Permission to come aboard?"

"I'm not sure. This isn't my ship." He looked at Shea.

"Granted," she answered and in a moment, both Will and Deanna materialized before them.

"Feels like old times," Shea smiled. "You're looking good, Commander, as always. You and Deanna finally hooked up, I take it?" Shea glanced over at the Counselor, who took a step toward her husband, and took his arm possessively. ""Good for you," Shea congratulated them. "Best hang on tight, Deanna, he's in dangerous waters." She looked at Riker again. "So have you come to persuade Captain Picard that he's basically lost his mind?"

"I wouldn't put it like that," Riker answered.

"Well this should be fun. I'd love to hear how exactly you will put it." She looked up, "Ship darling, how about some seating here for the four of us?"

"Of course, Sweet Shea." a disembodied voice replied, sounding gender neutral.

The flooring rose around them, forming into sofa-like shapes. "Please," Shea told them, "Let's sit and talk like old friends, shall we? Some wine, I think. Or do you prefer tea, Jean-luc?"

"A glass of wine would be very nice."

Four glasses filled with ruby red appeared on a coffee-sized table which simultaneously took shape before them. "Thank you, Ship," she said. She handed a glass to Picard and took one for herself. "So, what is it you wanted to say?" she addressed Riker.

Will looked at her then looked about. "Strange ship," he observed.

"It's alive," Picard told him. "Sentient. Don't hurt it's feelings."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

"Speaking of feelings, Captain," Deanna began. "Clearly you've been under a great deal of stress."

"Oh yes," Shea nodded sympathetically, "Very insightful, Counselor."

Deanna frowned at her. "There's no need to be sarcastic."

"My apologies. Please, continue. I'll do my best not to interrupt again."

"Thank you. My point is, Captain, when under stress, decision making is often unwise. You would be better served by taking time to address the underlying causes rather than to make a rash choice you might later regret in a misguided attempt to escape dealing with the real issues."

Shea pulled her feet up beneath her and stared over her knees at Picard, waiting.

He almost laughed at her expression of pure anticipation. Instead he merely smiled and looked back at Deanna. "You think I am running away. But from my perspective, I am running toward something instead. Something exciting, intriguing, and challenging. And maybe even a little terrifying I admit. My eyes are open, Counselor. I have no illusions."

"Oooo… good answer," Shea said. "Oh sorry, Deanna, I promised not to interrupt." She covered her mouth.

Picard couldn't help but chuckle. He noted that neither Will nor Deanna looked amused. On the contrary. He wanted to put their minds at ease and in doing so what better way to express his true desires to Shea.

"I see your fear for me, your worry that I am making a rash decision and may come to harm. But consider the fact that I have been ruminating on this for over nine years now. How rash could it be? Every day, every night, every moment of all that time, I have tried to suppress my desire, deny my deepest wish, all because of my allegiance to my crew and the Federation. I have proudly served that cause for over 40 years and for that I have no regret or apology. You think Shea is dangerous, violent, but it occurs to me that although our mission was meant to be one of peaceful exploration, so many many times we have been called to battle, forced to kill others in order to protect those who could not protect themselves. I do not consider myself a violent man, but I cannot deny the violence that I have authored on so many occasions when I deemed it justified. I cannot judge her any more harshly than I do myself."

He looked at Shea, hoping he had made himself clear. She dropped the hand from her mouth.

"Are you sure, Jean-luc?"

"I'm sure," he said. "Take me with you. I want what we had before, and more."

"You want to be bonded with me again, mind and spirit entwined?"

A smile spread across his face and he felt his heart pounding at the prospect. "Yes, I do. I want it."

Shea put her hands to his face. "Oh my love, consider carefully. I have been called a soul eater by some. And with me comes the other called D by the Q. He will not leave us alone, I assure you."

"You're trying to frighten me away."

"You need to be frightened."

"Believe me I've thought about all of this. I understand what you're telling me. I'm not a fool. But I will not deny myself happiness out of fear. Being with you brought me a sense of intimacy and connection such as I have never felt before or since. When you left, I was torn in half. I want to feel whole again. Take me with you. We will face whatever demons confront us together."

She smiled in wonder at him. "Then so be it," she said and kissed him.

Suddenly the connection he had felt so many years ago came rushing back. What had taken weeks to accomplish in the past, now washed over and through him in an instant, flooding his mind with her memories, and her love. It was the love that sustained his sanity as the waves of her life experiences crashed into him… far more than the nine years they had been separated and the prior memories of her life in Starfleet and their brief encounter which had led to her torture at the hands of Klingons in prison, her rage, and the vengeance she had wrought after. He was learning of all the events and emotions she had experienced from that time forward not only in his own reality, but of complete lifetimes lived in alternate worlds authored by her tormentor D. Finally he reached the moment in time where he stood here holding her, kissing her, feeling her thoughts and his own swirling together. Her mind pulled back until he was only himself once more, connected but independent. She was merely a comforting presence now… one he could pull upon at will and dive into again whenever he wanted, but only if he wanted.

"I had no idea," he whispered at last with his face pressed against hers. "I sensed there was more, but so much more… I never imagined."

"Are you all right? she asked, still holding on to him.

"Yes," he nodded.

"And you still want to come with me?"

"More than ever." He kissed her again. This time the kiss was merely a kiss, a damned sexy one, but not a mental onslaught. He looked at her now, feeling fully himself once more. "I need to return long enough to turn over command."

She nodded and released him. "Say your good-byes then. I'll be here waiting."

He turned away to find Deanna and Will gaping at him. Picard had completely forgotten they were here. He rose to his feet.

"Would you both please join me on the Enterprise?" he asked them.

"Sounds like a good idea to me," Riker answered. He and Deanna both stood as well.

Picard smiled at his friends, knowing they saw it as an opportunity to talk him out of this. He nodded to Shea, and felt himself being transported again. He was back standing on the Bridge of the Enterprise along with Deanna and Will.

"Captain!" Worf called out. "Are you all right?"

He laughed, having just answered the same question a moment before. "Yes. Quite all right."

"Captain," Riker began, but Picard put a hand up interrupting him.

"Will, I am about to do something that has been long overdue," he said. " Computer, record the following and transmit to Starfleet Command: Effective immediately, Captain William T. Riker is hereby given command of the Federation Flagship USS Enterprise-E. Also effective immediately, I hereby resign my commission with Starfleet. Signed Jean-Luc Picard."

He removed his Starfleet communicator from his chest and glanced at it with a smile thinking how one very similar to this had played a vital role in his meeting Shea so long ago. He looked up to see the bridge crew standing on their feet staring at him.

"I can't believe you're doing this," Riker said.

Picard smiled wider. "Believe it, Will. Our mission has always been to find new life. The most complex and fascinating life form I have ever encountered is on board that ship. I have a lot to learn and I'm not about to pass up this opportunity. I have a clear head and this is my choice."

"A clear head? Are you sure about that? Is this really your choice? How is this any different from your experience with the Borg? How can you say that this isn't this just another form of assimilation?"

"Assimilation?" Picard laughed in surprise. He hadn't expected such a comparison. The idea was ludicrous, yet he could see why Riker might think it. "No, Will, it's nothing like that. This is a voluntary joining of minds. I'm still me. When I was the Borg Locutus, did you ever see me smile, let alone laugh? This is as different from that as making love is to being violated. I'm not being tricked or manipulated. Can't you just give me the benefit of the doubt and wish me well?"

"I'm sorry,' Riker said. "We just want to protect you. After everything that's happened, all the changes we've been through and now this. Maybe we're just being selfish, trying to keep you here, but you have to admit, this is a surprising decision you're making."

"Only because I've been trying so long to deny my feelings. I won't do it any longer."

Riker sighed heavily. "Of course if this is truly what you want, if it makes you happy…"

"It does, truly." Picard saw the doubt in Riker's eyes. He gave it one last shot. "Will, I'm in love. Surely you can understand that."

"Of course," Riker looked at Deanna. He nodded slowly and tried to smile, "Then I guess I owe a toast to the happy couple."

"Thank you," Picard said and put his hand on Riker's shoulder. "Will. I've never said it aloud, but I think you always knew that I have thought of you as my son. A son of whom I am very proud, one whom I never have nor ever would abandon. Trust this, because you haven't seen the last of me. But as any good father knows, there comes a time to let go. You earned the right to sit in that chair years ago and it's about time I got out of your way. The Titan is a good ship, but it's not the Enterprise. This is where you belong." He looked over to Deanna. "And you, young lady, belong here right next to him. And I must thank you as well, Deanna. I couldn't have asked for a better friend and counselor. You helped me through many a dark time." She simply nodded and wiped away the tears.

Then he noticed Beverly Crusher was here. They had undoubtedly called her in case he had returned injured in some way. This good-bye was perhaps the hardest yet. "My dear Beverly. I have loved you since the day we met and there might have been a time that we might have taken that next step. But I think the reason we never did was because we both knew that in the end it wouldn't have worked between us. I'll always be sorry about what happened to Jack, although I'll never regret how close we became as a result of that shared loss." She nodded then looked away.

He turned to Worf and smiled. "Mr. Worf, my brave friend and stalwart protector. I knew I could always look to you should courage fail me. I shall miss you very much."

"And I you, Captain," he said.

Picard looked around at the remaining officers on deck. "It has been a great honor to serve with you. I couldn't have asked for a finer crew. I wish only the best for each of you. And I hope our paths will cross again." He tossed the communicator badge to Will, who caught it.

"Farewell," he said and reached out in his mind to Shea. Immediately he transported, leaving behind everything he had known, bringing nothing of his former life with him but experience and memories and the clothes on his back. He was no longer a Starfleet Captain. He was only himself, completely himself. It was all he could offer her and everything she wanted.

And in return, he was quite sure that he was embarking on the adventure of his life.


	2. Chapter 2

Jean-Luc Picard materialized on the sleek grey toned bridge of his new ship and found Shea waiting for him.

"Well, that definitely has to go," she said pointing at his red Starfleet uniform.

He smiled and shook his head at her near nudity. "I hope you don't expect me to run around like that."

"Your choice. Around here I get to do what I want."

"You did indicate that I would be the captain."

"Yes," she agreed, " but there will be a few personal things on which I have the last word."

Picard nodded. "I'll try not to meddle. Or judge."

"Good." She walked over to him and put her arms around his neck. He slipped his around her waist and kissed her. When he pulled away, he looked around again.

"I see we have the Bridge to ourselves."

"Minimal crew, remember? Speaking of which, I should introduce you."

"Right now?" He pulled her close again. It had been such a very long time.

"Someone has to man the Bridge. Or have you forgotten what it takes to run a ship, Captain?"

"Oh so that's how it's going to be, is it?" He let his right hand slide down incline of her lower back and gave her bottom a sharp slap that made her eyes open wide. "Show some respect to your new superior officer."

"I might just have to accuse you of sexual harassment."

"Take it up with my superiors. Oh wait, I don't have any, do I?"

She shook her head and laughed. "Not anymore."

"Hmmm… I'm definitely going to like it here." He let his hands explore some more. "Better find us a bed, or I'm going to take you in that Captain's chair."

"Oh I'd like to see that," a bodiless voice inserted itself.

Picard stopped what he was doing and looked up. "Is that you, Ship?"

"I apologize, Captain," Ship replied. "Sometimes I forget I'm not supposed to comment on the crew's personal activities, no matter how interesting I find them. Please continue and forget that I am here."

Picard looked at Shea. "Is he always going to be watching?" he asked in a whisper.

She shrugged. "Wouldn't you?"

Picard thought about it for a moment, considering what it must be like to have people living their daily lives inside one's own body, interacting with each other like an ever-evolving soap opera plot. Of course, he would watch. "All right, I get it. Can't say I like it very much though."

"Assign someone else to the Bridge then. Ship won't be so lonely and not quite so interested."

Picard nodded and stepped away from Shea. Ship's interruption had significantly cooled his personal engines. He could wait a little longer. "Let's meet this crew of ours then."

"Ship, would you ask the department heads to come to the Bridge one at a time. Start with Engineering, then Maintenance, Security, and Medical; Science and Operations will be last." Shea took a chair to the right of the Captain's seat. Picard looked at the empty chair waiting for him. She had known he wouldn't be comfortable in any other. Being in charge was in his blood. He sat down claiming it as his rightful place. In a few minutes, the head of Engineering walked onto the Bridge.

"Good lord," Picard exclaimed. "Captain Scott!"

"Aye!" Scotty had a twinkle in his eye, enjoying the surprise. "But like I told you before, just call me Scotty. I haven't been a captain in a very long time and don't expect to be again. Engineering's my love, always has been. So when Shea told me she had a living ship… well, how could I pass up a bonnie opportunity like that?"

"You're looking very well," Picard said, noting Scott's new slender physique.

Scotty patted his flattened stomach. "The doctor here has me on a strict diet and exercise regimen. Didn't much like it in the beginning but it's gotten to be second nature now. And I have to admit, I'm feeling the better for it.

"I'm happy for you, and equally pleased to know you will be in charge of Engineering."

"Thank you, sir. I'm pleased to know that you'll be our new captain. I still owe you for pulling me out of that transporter and helping me adjust to this new fangled world."

"And how is it working with a propulsion system that is both machine and living tissue?"

"Like nothing I've ever experienced in the past, that's for sure. But the principles are the same and I've been feeling my way along. Ship and I are getting to be good friends, aren't we, Ship?"

"Yes, Scotty, very good friends," Ship replied.

"I have three personnel working with me. We could use a fourth, so I'll be keeping an eye out for a good candidate."

"Very good, Mr. Scott. Thank you." Picard smiled.

"Thank you, Scotty." Shea nodded and he knew he was dismissed. When he exited, another entered.

Picard didn't know who or what he or she was. This individual stood less the four feet tall, was green complexioned with a bald head and prominent facial ridges. Two large dark bulbous eyes blinked at him independently.

"I take it you are in charge of Ship's Maintenance," Picard said.

The eyes blinked at him again one at a time and the green face nodded once.

"This is Bleton, a member of the Ketlonic race." Shea explained. "I don't think the Federation has had any contact with his people yet. Ketlons are extremely bright, physically agile and mechanically gifted. They breed and hybridize living ships like ours. You can communicate with Bleton and the two other Ketlons working with him through Ship, but not directly. They do not speak as we do. If Ship is ever injured or having difficulties, Bleton is the person you must seek out."

Picard nodded. "Very well. Ship, please communicate to Bleton, that I am pleased to meet him and trust that we will enjoy a good working relationship."

Bleton blinked in rapid succession and nodded again.

"Bleton says he is certain you and he will be compatible since you have no hair on your head to interfere with your thoughts," Ship informed him.

Picard smiled and looked at Shea who smiled back.

"Thank you, Bleton." Shea said dismissing him. He turned about and left.

The next person entering was also a surprise. He was Klingon.

"Captain Picard," the Klingon acknowledged him, "I am Chorack, head of Security."

Picard looked at Shea questioningly.

"I was rather taken with Worf's performance, so naturally when it came time to find a Security officer of my own…"

Picard looked at the huge Klingon who would have dwarfed even Mr. Worf. "I've worked with Klingons before and am glad to do so again. What are your duties on this ship?"

"I supervise a security team of six Klingon males. We accompany all away missions. No one gets on or off this vessel without our knowing it. We will lay down our lives to protect this ship and its crew."

"And will you follow my orders without question?"

"We have sworn allegiance to Shea. We follow her."

"Captain Picard is your Captain now, Chorack. I have chosen him to lead you," Shea told him firmly.

Chorack nodded. "I accept him as my Captain then."

"Dismissed," Picard ordered. Chorack bowed slightly and left.

"This is proving to be more interesting than I expected," Picard said.

"We're not done yet," Shea replied. "Time to meet your new doctor."

"Captain Picard, I've so been looking forward to this" the man said as he entered with his hand outstretched. He was tall and slender and dark haired and appeared to be completely human. Picard shook the profferred hand thinking the man looked familiar. "I don't know if you remember me. I visited the Enterprise for a short while when it was docked at Deep Space 9."

Picard frowned trying to remember. "It had something to do with Data, didn't it?"

"Yes, a device I had brought on board apparently triggered Data's ability to dream."

"Oh yes, I remember now," Picard nodded. "Dr. Bashon, is it, or…? "

"Bashir, Julian Bashir."

"Dr. Bashir. Yes, of course. I recall that you were well accomplished in your field and highly valued by Starfleet. I'm surprised to see you here. Why have you chosen to leave Starfleet?"

"Things change, relationships end, new opportunities arise. This one seemed especially intriguing. I've always prided myself on practicing frontier medicine. I couldn't think of anywhere else where I would be more likely to experience a new frontier. And with far fewer restrictions."

"Understandable. I have similar motives," Picard admitted.

"You'll find that Ship's sickbay is top shelf and my team is first rate. Should you require any medical assistance, we are at your service, Captain."

"Thank you, Doctor."

Julian flashed a big smile at them both and left the Bridge.

"So I suppose that leaves Science next, and then Operations," Picard said.

"Both departments have the same head," Shea informed him.

"Oh? Isn't that a big load for one individual?"

"Not in this case," she smiled. "I hope this will make you truly happy."

Picard, of course, had no idea what trick she was about to play on him next, but he smiled back. "Let's find out."

In a moment, a familiar figure entered and stood before him. Picard's jaw dropped.

"Hello, Captain. It is good to see you again."

"Data?" Picard stood and put his hands on the shoulders of the android before him. "Is it really you?"

"Yes, Captain."

"You're alive!"

"Clearly." Data looked bemused.

"I don't understand. How can this be?"

"Shea had been monitoring our situation. When it became clear to her that the Enterprise could not retrieve me before the explosion, she intervened."

Picard turned to Shea. "You were there? The whole time?"

She shrugged. "I kept tabs on you off and on. Call me an optimist."

"I didn't see that in your mind when we were joined."

"A woman has to have some secrets. You wouldn't be nearly as intrigued if there wasn't a bit of mystery involved."

"Just when I finally believed I was fully informed…" Picard frowned at her.

She just smiled. Confounded woman, he thought.

"Are you not pleased to see me, Captain?" Data inquired.

Picard looked back at him. "Oh, Data, I'm more than pleased. I'm ecstatic! I don't think I've ever been happier or more relieved. You have no idea how guilty I felt, thinking you had sacrificed your life for mine. I've missed you terribly. I just have one thing to say to you."

"Sir?'

"Don't ever do anything like that again."

Data did not reply. There was no point in making a promise he might not be able to keep.

"So I take it you do not intend to return to Starfleet," Picard surmised.

"Correct, Captain. I have chosen to remain here. That is why I did not contact you after my rescue."

"You could have simply resigned your commission. You didn't have to keep us in the dark."

"I did not want to ruin Shea's surprise. But I agree that resigning is the better option now, which is why I have already sent a subspace message to the Enterprise to that effect."

Picard smiled and shook his head in wonder. "So you'll be my Science officer and Chief of Operations then."

"Yes, sir. I was the Acting Captain until your arrival. I gladly step down to release command to you."

Picard looked at Shea. "Data was your Captain? I assumed you were in charge. So what is your role here then?"

"Whatever it needs to be, as always. I don't like being pegged into a single slot. Think of me as a free agent."

"Sounds very undisciplined," he observed.

"Very," she agreed. "So, would you like Data to take the Bridge now, Captain?"

He nodded. "Yes, I would. I believe we have some catching up to do. You have the Bridge, Mr. Data."

"Yes, sir."

Picard took Shea by the arm and headed to her quarters located just off the Bridge.

"Looks like you plan to run this ship pretty much the way you did the Enterprise," she observed.

"It's what I know works," he said. "You have any objection."

"Not as long as you don't try to re-enact a non-fraternization rule for me."

"I wouldn't dare." He scowled looking around at the small sparsely furnished foyer they had just entered. "Now where is your bedroom?"

"You're very eager."

"And you're very naked. If you're going to be frolicking around in the nude all the time, you can expect more of the same."

"Frolicking?" She laughed at that. He silenced her with a kiss.

"Come on. Stop teasing me," he said. "This is getting painful."

"Well, we can't have that." She backed up and the wall behind her dissolved, revealing her sleeping quarters. She moved to the oval shaped bed in the center of the room and lay back on it. Picard pulled off his uniform and dumped it unceremoniously on the floor.

He moved toward her, but suddenly she blocked him and looked him in the eyes. "Nine years, Picard. You left me hanging for nine years. Shall I give in to your desires now, so easily? Or should I instead leave you hanging?"

Picard froze in her gaze. Had he completely misjudged her? Was this no long lost lover's welcome, but instead the revenge of a woman scorned? He had no defenses, having given up everything to be here.

"Shea, my love, I am at your mercy."

"Then I have just one thing to say to you."

Picard waited to see if his world was about to end.

"Don't ever do anything like that again."

"I promise," he agreed as relief flooded through him. "Never, ever. I swear I would never…"

She cut off his protestations with her lips on his and once again he felt her love inside his mind and all doubt and fear fled.

Hours later, his thoughts racing again, Picard returned to the bridge, leaving a sleeping Shea behind. Data stood when he entered, vacating the Captain's chair. Picard smiled at him, feeling so pleased to see him there. When Data smiled back, he realized Data had his emotion chip turned on.

"Are you happy here, Data?" he asked.

Data's mouth curled slightly upward. "I am touched that you would ask, Captain. The answer is yes."

"I'm glad. Even gladder for myself to be honest. How amazing is it that we've found ourselves together on this path?"

"Amazing, yes, I suppose that is an apt description. However, I am unsure just what path we are on."

"As am I," he agreed. "I see that you grasped my metaphor, Data. You are becoming more and more humanlike."

"I believe that being around Shea furthers my goal in that regard."

"So are you keeping your emotion chip on all the time now?"

"I am."

Picard nodded. He hesitated to ask the question at the forefront of his mind. Did he really want to know? But ignorance was never a blessing in his opinion.

"Data, when I told Will and Deanna of my decision to leave Starfleet, they questioned whether I was making the choice freely. They even suggested I might be experiencing something like when I was assimilated by the Borg. Of course, I thought the idea preposterous, but I wonder what you think of their assertion?"

Data cocked his head thoughtfully. "You are asking whether I see any similarity between Shea and a Borg queen. In truth, this is not the first time I have considered that question. They are both extremely difficult to resist."

PIcard took a deep breath not liking what he was hearing. "Let's hope the similarity ends there."

"Agreed, Captain."

"So what are your feelings about her these days?"

"Shea is my friend and I am hers. She saved my life."

"There was a time when you were very angry with me because of her."

"That is true, but as you know from Counselor Troi's reports, I dealt with those feelings. While I still do not agree with the decision you made, I no longer despise you for it. I wonder why you are asking about this now."

"At the time, you implied that the two of you had been intimate."

"I did not mean to imply, Captain. I intended to inform you of that fact. I apologize if I was unclear."

"I see. So are you intimate with her now?"

"When she will have me, yes."

"I see," he said again.

"This displeases you?"

"I'm just trying to get a handle on all this."

"By which metaphor, you mean to say that you are attempting to fully comprehend the nature of your relationship with Shea."

"Precisely."

"I wonder why you would ask me then. Is this not a subject you should be discussing with her?"

"Yes, it is," Shea interrupted.

Picard turned to see her standing at the doorway to the bridge. The doors of this ship opened and closed silently, something he hadn't gotten used to as yet.

"You leave my bed to come pick Data's brain about our relationship?" Shea scowled at him. "Why must sex equate with love and loyalty in the human mind? Please grow up, Jean-Luc. You're better than this."

"I'm not sure that I am, to be honest," Picard answered. "Sexual fidelity is deeply embedded in the human psyche. It's part of my DNA. We see physical intimacy as an expression of emotional intimacy and vice-versa. It's very hard to disentangle the two. I understand your needs, and am trying to adapt, but please understand that this doesn't come easily."

Shea moved in front of him, dropped to her knees and put her arms on either side of his chair so she could look him in the face. "What is it exactly that you need from me, Jean-Luc?"

"Something you apparently can't give. Exclusivity. I understand why you can't. I don't expect you to and I know I'm being completely unreasonable, but the emotion is still there. I still want it."

"I know. I'm sorry, " she said and a tear fell down her cheek. It nearly broke his heart. He went to wipe it away, but suddenly Data gripped his wrist painfully, and he cried out.

"Data, stop!" Shea told him. "You're hurting him."

"He is hurting you," Data replied coldly, "I cannot allow that."

"You forget, Data. We are bonded. His pain is mine. Release him."

Data opened his vise-like grip.

Picard pulled his hand away and massaged his sore wrist. "Data, if you're going to attack me every time Shea and I have a disagreement, this arrangement isn't going to work very well."

"It appears that I have a conflict in my programming, Captain. I must protect Shea. I also must follow your orders and respect your authority. However, if your actions cause Shea emotional or physical injury, I will choose to protect her over you."

PIcard regarded his android friend's calm but determined expression. "It seems we've established the pecking order around here."

"No, we haven't," Shea said. "Data, you are never to harm Captain Picard again under any circumstance. Do you understand me?"

Data turned to look at her. "You are my friend, Shea. I must protect you over all others."

"Thank you, Data. Your friendship means the world to me and I am honored by your loyalty and wish to protect me. But you must understand that there is no greater pain you could cause me than by harming the man to whom I am bonded. Jean-Luc and I may disagree, and he might even make me cry or become angry at times. But you know that is a part of any intimate human relationship and that you should not intervene. Don't let your emotion chip interfere with your logic in this matter. Are we clear on this?"

Data's yellow eyes twitched as if he were rewriting his own programming. The eyes stopped twitching and he answered, "Yes, Shea. We are clear. I will not harm Captain Picard ever again. Unless, of course, you order me to do so."

Picard raised his eyebrows and shared a look with Shea.

She turned to Data again. "Data, would you please leave the Captain and me alone. You may want to see how they're doing in the Science department. They mentioned needing your assistance with some of the new equipment."

Data nodded and stood. "Will I see you later, Shea?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yes, later, Data."

"Good." He smiled slightly and left the Bridge.

"Well." Picard grimaced once Data departed. "He's certainly taken with you."

"I'm his friend."

Picard smirked at that. "So he keeps telling me. A friend with whom he has sexual relations and is apparently ready to defend with deadly force if need be. That's quite a friendship."

"He's a very good friend."

"Yes, he is. The best anyone could have. He may owe you his life, but I owe him mine. So I suppose I can't begrudge him the happiness he has found here with you."

"I'm glad you feel that way. I wouldn't want my relationship with him to trouble you."

"That's not what's troubling me. What worries me is realizing that when you opened your mind to me before I said my good-byes on the Enterprise, you hid all this from me. I didn't know about you watching the Enterprise, or about Data, or Scotty, or anyone else on board."

"I didn't want any of that to be a factor in your decision. Besides, I wanted to surprise you."

"You certainly did that. The problem is, it makes me wonder what else I don't know. I'm an open book to you, but you're obviously able to reveal only what you want to."

"I admit I can choose what I will share with you."

"And what you won't, Picard said. "So is there a lot I still don't know?"

"Well, I don't know about a lot."

Picard shook his head and sighed in frustration. "You want me to trust you, but clearly you don't trust me. You won't share yourself fully. Do you think that's fair?"

"Fair?" She laughed but the sound was bitter in tone. "No, it's not fair. I gave up being fair a long time ago. Now, I do what I think best. I told you this would require a leap of faith on your part. I will do everything in my power to protect you and to make you happy. Even if that requires withholding some truths. You must trust me and let the rest go."

"You don't ask much, do you?"

"I ask everything. But I promise it will be returned to you in equal measure. So do you trust me, Jean-Luc, or do you not?"

He looked into her eyes. "I have to. What else is there but to trust you?"

She kissed him and he kissed her back, surrendering to the choice he had made.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Being new to the operations of a living ship, over the next few weeks Picard ran a series of shakedowns including battle station drills, damage control, emergency response, medical response, fire drills, engine failure, and loss of navigation. Whenever a glitch appeared, he held a review with the people involved, then repeated the drill again and again until they got it right with what he deemed acceptable levels of efficiency. He worked his crew hard, but there were few complaints.

"Are you pleased with me now?" Ship inquired of him, when he at last told everyone they could stand down and congratulate themselves on a job well done.

"I was never displeased with you, Ship. I simply wanted to understand what you are fully capable of and how we as a crew can best help you to achieve that level of excellence."

"I understand, my Captain." Ship sighed contentedly. "We work well together."

"Agreed."

"I only wish that I could communicate telepathically with you the way I can with Shea."

Picard nodded. "I suppose that would be of value, but I have had many years of running a starship successfully without that ability, so I wouldn't be too concerned if I were you. Besides, I can share my thoughts with Shea who can telegraph them on to you if needed."

"Yes, that is true. I am not concerned, my Captain. I am simply expressing my desire to feel as close to you as possible."

"Thank you. I take that as a complement," Picard replied diplomatically, but felt relieved not to have a mental connection with his ship. Sometimes he even felt a bit overwhelmed by his connection with Shea and wasn't sure he could handle another one.

A low tone emanated announcing the arrival of someone on the bridge. Picard had made that change so that he wouldn't get surprised anymore. The head of Security marched into the room and stood at attention before him.

"Mr. Chorack?" Picard acknowledged him with the title of 'Mr.' out of long habit even though there was no formal official rank to back it up.

"Captain, I am here to make a request."

"Speak freely."

"My men have not had any off-ship recreation in months, and I wish to reward their hard work in these last few weeks since you have taken command. Would you consider granting them shore leave?"

Picard nodded. "I have been thinking along similar lines. I have already asked Mr. Data to set course to Risa. They have excellent recreation facilities and welcome off-worlders. You may inform your men that they will be rewarded with shore leave upon arrival."

"Thank you, Captain." Chorack bowed his head and departed.

Picard smiled inwardly. Somehow the term "shore leave" had never held the same connotation since he had encountered Shea and it always brought back a flood of emotionally conflicted memories. It pleased him to know that shore leave was no longer a necessity for her.

"Risa?" Shea inquired of him in their shared quarters that evening. "I'm surprised you would choose such a languid destination. I hear they do have lovely oceans, however."

"I thought you might appreciate that. And the crew is tired. I want them re-energized before we attempt something more challenging. Besides, they deserve to be rewarded for all their hard work."

"Captain Picard, the benevolent dictator."

"You're not making fun of me, are you?"

"I wouldn't dare. You take yourself way too seriously for that."

He grabbed her hand and pulled her onto his lap. "I don't know why I put up with that smart mouth of yours."

"Maybe because it's a very talented mouth," she said suggestively.

"Yes, it is," he agreed and kissed her appreciatively. "Which reminds me…, I need to thank you for this." He patted the short black skirt with attached underwear she wore. "I know it's a bit of a compromise for you."

"A bit," she agreed. "But I don't mind if it makes you more comfortable."

"It does. You still have no idea how distracting it is to see you running around in the nude. Bad enough that you won't wear a shirt."

"And you still don't seem to appreciate how uncomfortable a shirt is for me." She frowned at him in annoyance. "Besides, my hair covers me up well enough. You can't see anything unless you make an effort."

"I think we all make the effort," he said and pushed her hair to the back to prove his point.

"I don't care," she said and flipped it forward into place. "I'm drawing the line at the waist."

"Okay," he said, and let it go for now. This wasn't a Federation ship. The only rules were the ones he set. He pushed her hair away again and she made no move to put it back. "You know, while I appreciate your wearing this skirt while roaming the ship, it's really not necessary when you're in here."

She smiled. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Are you in for the night?" he asked.

"I am."

"Excellent."

Ship entered into orbit around Risa the following day, under Data's expert guidance at the helm. The view of blue waters, and white swirled clouds above Risa's verdant green continents came into view below them. The last time this world had experienced a significant variation from its balmy weather was when a dissident group had taken over the global climate controls in protest of what they called their world's increasingly lax moral standards. Picard understood that the members of that group had been asked to leave of their own free will, or suffer incarceration. Since the Risans had created the technology to completely control their world's climate, they had turned It into a virtual paradise of sun filled days with cool tropical breezes, and warm nights where rains fell softly for an hour before sunrise to keep the lands lush and green. It was the perfect tourist destination, but Picard wondered if it all became a bit monotonous for the native inhabitants. He had been here before and even in that short time, boredom had threatened to set in before he had met Vash, the woman who had launched him on one of his more interesting adventures. He still remembered her fondly even though she had proved to be long on greed and short on ethics in his personal view.

Shea stepped next to him and peered at the world with him. "Reminiscing, are you?" she asked. "I doubt she's down there, however. Didn't she run off with Q?"

Picard nodded. "She did. They got along quite well. Neither of them seemed bothered by such petty concepts as right and wrong."

"I suppose you miss her."

Picard looked at Shea incredulously, sensing a touch of insecurity from her. "You can't be serious." He nearly laughed at the idea.

"Well. You were pretty taken with her for awhile there."

"That was before I knew what she was really about. And well before I met you."

"So what was it about her that you found so attractive?"

"I suppose they were the same qualities that also attract me to you. She was intelligent, dangerous, and completely pig-headed."

Shea looked at him. "Wow. You really are the charmer, aren't you?"

He chuckled at her. "You're being ridiculous and you know it." He felt perversely pleased to sense a trace of jealousy in her over a former lover of his. It was nice to know she wasn't immune.

"Getting a charge out this, are you?"

"Yes, I am."

"So who's staying on board and who's going ashore?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Mr. Scott and his Ketlon assistants asked to remain on board to conduct further tests on Ship's engine core. Data says he has no interest in Risan entertainments, so he's staying, but a half dozen from his two departments will transport down. The others going ashore are Chorack and his men, per his request, Dr. Bashir and all but one of his medical staff, and I thought you and I. I don't think you've ever been, unless that's something else you've chosen not to share with me."

She glanced at him sideways. "No, I've never visited. Seemed a waste of time, frankly, but I suppose as long as we're here, we may as well take a look around."

"Your enthusiasm is overwhelming."

"Sorry, but what are we going to do down there? Lay on the beach and read romance novels?"

"If that's your preference. Why don't we just explore a bit and see what comes up? It's been a long time since I took a day off with no set schedule or ulterior motive. I'm looking forward to experiencing the novelty of relaxing and not feeling guilty about it."

She smiled at him. "Of course. I should have realized. Let's go then."

Picard packed a small bag that he could swing over a shoulder or wear as a backpack. He'd selected swim trunks, hiking boots, and climbing shoes. He wanted to explore some of the jungle trails and perhaps do a little rock climbing. He had heard of but never seen Galartha, Risa's famed rock climbing cliff that could alter its vertical trajectory on a whim. He wondered how it would be to scale a moving surface like that. And of course, there were the beaches and all that ocean beyond that beckoned. He'd thought a week here would do nicely, but he supposed he were free to extend it if he chose. Such a luxury, he thought to himself, to be free to choose. No more superimposed duties and regulations dictated by Starfleet regulations and Federation interests.

"What'ya got in there?" Shea asked impishly when she saw his pack. He showed her its contents.

"Perhaps you should pack a few things as well," he told her.

She shook her head. "I'll be fine."

"So you're just going like that?" She wore her small skirt and nothing else but a pair of soft sandals.

"That's a very hedonistic society down there. I'll fit right in."

"All right." He knew better than to argue. "So do you prefer a daytime or evening arrival?"

She pondered for a moment. "Day I think. Sunshine sounds great. Lots of energy to absorb."

"Ship," he called out. "Are you ready with the coordinates of that west shore resort I gave you?"

"Yes, my Captain."

"Please transport Shea and I down there now, please."

"Of course, my Captain. I hope you both have a pleasant stay and I look forward to your return."

The transport kicked in, and in a moment the two of them looked about at a sun filled beach that now lay before them.

"We have reservations over there," he pointed at a long stretch of floating structures with thatched roofs. "We're number 40."

She laughed and started across the sand in the direction he had pointed.

"I don't know why you find this so amusing."

"It's just the idea of you on an extended holiday on a pleasure planet of all places. Seems incongruous somehow."

"Perhaps for a Starfleet Captain," he agreed. "Which I am no longer."

"So you want to have a little fun, do you?"

"No, I want to have a lot of fun. And a lot of sex. Do try to keep up, or I may have to purchase another horga'hn." He winked at her and took off at a trot, kicking up sand as he went.

Shea smiled and watched him go, noting how much faster he was getting on his feet. She wondered if he noticed the change. She hoped she was doing him a favor, rather than a disservice. It was always so hard to tell at this stage.

When she found number 40, Picard was already wearing his swim trunks. "Did you look at that water out there?" he asked. "Clear as glass. The monitor in here says it's warm too, 28 degrees Celsius. Care for a swim?"

"Love to." She slipped off her shoes, dropped her skirt to the floor, walked out their back door and dove in.

Picard paused for a moment then laughed at himself. "Now why do I always find that surprising?" He grabbed the dive bands he'd brought along and put them around his neck, ankles and wrists then jumped in after her. She swam up to him and treaded water. "Feels wonderful," she said, then flipped onto her back to float beside him. Her hand snapped the waist of his trunks. "Wouldn't you prefer to feel the water on your skin?"

"What I'd feel is a little too exposed. Wouldn't want a fish to get the wrong idea and take a nibble."

She laughed. "I get it."

Picard floated by. "Ah. This is the life. I should have done things like this more often."

"Did you actually buy a horga'hn when you were here? Is that how you met Vash?"

"Yes, and no," he replied. "Riker tricked me, asked me to purchase one for him while I was here. I had no idea of its significance and in my ignorance set it on a table beside me while I was trying to relax and read. I couldn't understand why women kept approaching me and asking if they could be of service."

"But Vash wasn't one of them?"

"No, her motives were far more devious. She wanted something from me."

"So do I," Shea reminded him.

"Not that," he chuckled. "She was after a legendary artifact she planned to sell for a profit. The item turned out to be a very dangerous weapon."

"But you destroyed it," Shea recalled from their joining.

"I did. Over her objections."

"Still you saw her again… a few times I believe."

"Why are we talking about her again? I want this time to be about us. I'm here with you, one hundred percent, as you well know."

"You're right. You won't hear me mention her name again."

"Good. I'm glad that's over because right now, I'd like to go diving with you. I'll never forget that time in the holodeck when you were swimming with dolphins. I was quite envious." He touched the band on his neck. "This will allow me to breathe underwater like you can. I've always wanted to see my little mermaid in action."

"Really?" She smiled wide, intrigued to have him with her. No human had ever offered to go diving with her before.

"Please."

"First show me how that band works. I want to be sure you're safe."

Picard demonstrated. "I simply press here to activate a pressurized force field that filters oxygen out from the water for me to breathe and keeps my head dry. With the dive bands on my ankles and wrists I can activate a similar field over my body to protect me in cold waters or deep dives. I can also extend fins over my feet and hands. The band under my shorts serves as a ballast and the weight adjusts as needed. The power cells should be good for a minimum of ten hours."

"You've dived with this type of equipment before?"

"It's been awhile, but yes, many times."

"Looks like I'm not the only one with a few surprises to share."

"I didn't hide it from you. I wouldn't know how to. You just didn't notice, I suppose. So are you ready to show me around?"

"Okay, but I'm not familiar with the aquatic life forms here," she warned him.

"I'm way ahead of you." He tugged a small screen out from his swim trunk's pocket and tapped it on. She saw that it listed native ocean species. He ran down the index to the word 'dangerous' and tapped the screen again. "These are the ones we should avoid." She saw several toothy fish-like creatures, some of which resembled sharks. One pictured something that looked like a big snake. Another was brightly colored and multi-limbed. She read the tourist guidelines, which basically said if you didn't bother them they probably wouldn't bother you.

"And if we run into one of these things, what 's your plan?" she asked.

"This dive suit of mine puts out one heck of charge if something tries to bite me."

"And if something tries to bite me?"

"I'll come to your rescue."

She laughed at that. "All right. Let's head for deeper waters then."

"Wait," he said, "I have one more surprise." He pulled himself onto the deck in front of their floating cabana, and went inside. He returned shortly with what looked like a handheld turbine motor equipped with a seat and jumped back into the water. "No point in wasting energy. This will power us out a mile or so and back in when we're done." He unfolded the seat and handles, climbed on and powered it up. "Hang on to me." She put her arms around his waist and settled her hips behind his. To her surprise when the engine roared to life, it pulled them forward and up on top of the waves. He revved the engine until they were flying and bouncing along the ocean surface leaving a white rooster tail behind them.

"Did you rent this thing?" she yelled.

"Comes with the room," he yelled back, and bounced them high off a crested wave. He leaned sideways cutting across the next one. She leaned with him and gasped as water sprayed her face.

"Having fun now?" she yelled again.

He just laughed and went even faster.

After awhile he slowed again and looked about. "There's supposed to be an old sea wreck out here. Good for diving." He pulled the small monitor out again to check the coordinates. He moved them ahead a bit more then came to a stop. "Should be right below us."

"I'll take a look," Shea said and slipped off the back into the water. She immediately disappeared. A minute later, she was back. "You're right. It's there. Lots of fish and a coral reef too. Looks like the ship went aground on the reef."

"One problem," Picard told her, "once I activate my dive field, I won't be able to hear you and you won't be able to hear me. These things have comlinks in them, but since you're not wearing one, it won't do us much good."

"That's not a problem," she said and lifted herself up to face him. She kissed him deeply and opened her mind. _This is better anyway, don't you think?_

_Yes, much better, _he thought back to her. He pressed the band on his neck activating it, then fell backwards into the water. He allowed the ballast weight to gradually sink him lower, and just looked at her there floating under water breathing easily without any mechanical assistance whatsoever. He'd known she could do this, but had never seen it. She moved her arms in a circle pushing herself lower to stay abreast of him. _Does the salt water sting your eyes?_ She shook her head no. _Does your body adjust to the change in pressure? _ She nodded yes. _Have you ever made love in the ocean?_ She just smiled. _Have you?_ he repeated.

_Not with a human._

That took him by surprise. _What does that mean?_

_Someday I'll tell you. _

She flipped around and swam downward faster than any human being should be able to. Picard watched her go, noting how fluidly she moved through the water. He activated his remaining bands to create a fully pressurized envelope around him so that he could dive down to the wreck safely without delay. He swam after her.

_To your right_, she informed him and he looked over to see her pointing at the wreck below. The bow was broken in two with shards of coral poking through its middle. The ship was wide and made of wood. Much of the upper deck had been eaten away by time and warm salt water. Large holes gaped through the hull and colorful fish streamed in and out of them in schools. He pointed his small monitor at them and a display came up identifying each one of them. He showed her the screen and she nodded appreciatively. He swam closer to look at the ship, noting its construction, imagining what it must have felt like to walk her decks when she was in her prime. What it had been like to fight the wind and sea for one's very survival at a time when this world was still wracked with icy storms and high seas.

_You're such a romantic, Jean-Luc, a real sea-pirate at heart._

She had him pegged. He smiled at her, but she was looking away from him and scowling.

_Something wrong?_ he asked.

_Do you hear that? _She looked back at him. _No, of course you don't, not with that bubble around you. Something's crying, calling, like a distress signal. Quite high pitched._ She opened her mind deeper to him allowing him to hear the cry for himself. A wailing keen, that sounded plaintiff and desperate. Her mind pulled back again so that he was only aware of his personal senses.

_Can you tell where it's coming from? _he asked.

_I can tell the direction, not the distance. Do you mind if we take a look? See if we can find the source?_

_Lead the way._

She took off and he followed as quickly as he could, but was soon falling behind. He lengthened the fins on his dive suit and was able to move faster and keep her in view. Visibility was well over 30 meters in these crystal clear waters so he had a wide margin. He finally caught up to her where she had paused to look down over a steep drop off. The waters below disappeared into blackness too deep for sunlight to reach.

_It's coming from down there._ She moved as if to head down, but Picard grabbed her arm.

_That has to be well over 100 meters deep. I'm not sure you should go down there._

_I have to. It may be dying._

_Shea, you don't even know what it is. That could be a trap just as easily as something in need of help. How do you know that's not the lure of a predator._

_No, something's in trouble down there. I'm going. Stay here._

_The hell I will. _He grabbed a hunk of her floating hair and tugged her back. _We'll go together._

_Your suit can handle that kind of pressure?_

_It should._

_Okay, let's go. _ She moved down the face of the cliff and he kept up with her, increasing the weight of his ballast to assist him. As the sunlight faded, the water grew darker and darker until they could see only a few feet ahead and dark glowing shapes swam past them.

_Bioluminescence, _he thought to her. He tapped his wrist to activate a light which streamed ahead of them.

Shea took his wrist and aimed it to their left. The light showed a smooth blue wall ahead. But then a huge yellow eye in the wall blinked at them.

_It's like a whale. _

_Perhaps_, he thought back to her_, perhaps not._ He pulled out his monitor and pointed it at the eye. The screen identified the creature as a Tohal and Shea turned out to be correct. It was very much like a whale, an ocean going mammal. It was also listed under the word 'dangerous'. He thrust the screen at her.

_You worry too much, _she told him. She shot ahead and swam along the creature's length until Picard lost sight of her. He swam to catch up, keeping the light on his wrist trained on the Tohal watching for movement.

_Here's the problem. _She pointed down at the creature's bifurcated tail, which lay tangled in a huge weighted net caught in the rocks. _If it can't surface it will drown. We need to get it free._

_I'm not sure if this is a good idea. _But he went to assist none-the-less. Between his diving blade, and her sharp claws, they were able to cut the netting away. The huge tail flopped free creating a wave that pushed them back. The blue body lifted and rolled, then aimed upward. To his dismay, Shea grabbed the tail. Her other hand reached for him. _Come on! _He grabbed hold and they were pulled up through the depths at a breathtaking speed. Sunlight broke through the dark and he could see the surface above. He thought they would slow but instead the creature shot upwards breaching the water and they found themselves thrown into the air, then splashing down into it again. He saw Shea laughing and treading water. She swam over to him and shut off the band around his neck. Now he could hear her again.

"Wasn't that great?"

He saw the huge Tohal swimming around them with one big yellow eye trained in their direction. Water and air spewed from its blowhole and rained over them.

"I hope it's not hungry," he said.

"I think it is hungry actually. That's probably how it got caught in that fishing net, trying to eat its contents. There's lots of fish in this area. It probably comes here to hunt on a regular basis."

"You think it might consider us a food source?" he asked worriedly, watching the huge predator turning around them again. "Why is it circling us?"

"Don't worry. I'm sure he's only trying to scare the poop out of us. That way, we'll taste better."

"Shea, this isn't funny."

"It's not going to hurt us. We just saved it. In fact, I think it might be willing to take us for a ride."

"You can't be serious."

"Opportunities like this are reason I love swimming in the ocean. You wanted to see, right?"

"Yes, but…" he shook his head warily, looking at that eye regarding them intently.

"Don't worry," she admonished him and swam over to the Tohal. She ran her hands over its sides and the eye half-closed. The creature spewed water and air again through its blowhole, then sank lower. She climbed on, positioning herself behind the blowhole and leaned against the huge dorsal fin on the creature's back. "He's cushy," she said. The Tohal moved forward and circled Picard again with Shea riding along on top as if it were a carousel horse. When it slowed, she crooked a finger at him, beckoning. "You're insane!" he yelled. She just laughed and crooked her finger again. Reluctantly, he moved closer. He saw the great beast sink lower again as he approached. "You sure about this?"

"Don't be such a pansy," she reached for his hand. He took hold and she pulled him up.

"What's going to keep us up here?" he asked when he saw nothing to hang on to.

"Good balance." She twisted aside and pushed him behind her against the fin. The Tohal slowly moved forward. "Here we go." It began to pick up speed, slicing through the waves smoothly. Picard twisted to look back and saw the great split tail propelling them forward in an up and down motion. Shea took his hands from her waist and set them down on the Tohal's back, then she jumped to her feet and ran forward to crouch just behind the beast's head. Picard would have sworn it's eyes rolled up to look at her there. He felt them move faster, creating a wide wake, wind buffeting his face. She stood up, balancing with one foot forward, one behind, arms outstretched riding the great beast happily. Finally, she turned back, crouched again and scooted back to him. "Having fun?"

"I'm not sure."

"He's going to dive soon. Lean forward and hang on to me."

"What? No!"

She tapped the dive band on his neck activating his face mask, then turned away and laid flat. Oh good lord, he thought and flattened himself behind her. Immediately, the Tohal aimed its head downward and dove below. Picard hung onto her somehow as the water rushed past them. How Shea was sticking to the beast's back, he had no idea. They were moving fast. He saw great schools of fish flee before them. Many of them disappeared in the Tohal's open mouth as it scooped them up. It seemed to just swallow them whole. Shea pointed ahead. Picard could see the underside of a large vessel. They sailed swiftly below and past it. He looked up at the hull as they went by feeling the vibrations of the engine and seeing the churning waters from its props. Dozens of smaller boats appeared ahead. They were approaching shallower waters not far from the resort where they were staying, he realized. The Tohal shifted its trajectory upwards and in a moment they were flying upwards clearing the waves, airborne for the briefest moment, then they crashed down onto the ocean surface sending great splashing waves on either side. The Tohal twisted back the way they had come. Picard saw the small boats now from the surface, not far from them. People on board were standing up and pointing at them.

The Tohal cut through the water, carrying its two passengers past the large sailing vessel Picard had seen before from below. He recognized it now as the triple decked tourist boat that ferried people between islands. The rails were lined with people pointing and waving and taking photos. Shea stood up and waved back at them. He shook his head and laughed. They had become a tourist attraction. Before long they left the boats and people behind again, heading back to the deep water and reef where they had started. Shea pointed ahead again. This time he spotted their small motorized skier, with its bright yellow marker.

"This would be a good time to get off, before he gets tired of us," she yelled. The Tohal aimed its head down again but they let go and jumped away. Picard treaded water and looked about. The Tohal was gone.

"Shall we head back?" she asked next to him.

He nodded in agreement. He'd had enough excitement for one day. The skier took them back to their lodgings swiftly, but the ride seemed tame to him after what they had just experienced. They both showered off the salt water and Picard hung his trunks on the deck's balcony rail to dry. He toweled off and lay down on their bed looking up at a palm leafed ceiling fan turning lazily above him.

"We rode a whale," he said, "an actual whale."

She lay down next to him. "Yes, we did."

"A whale," he said again, not quite believing it.

"Tired?"

"Mmmm… yes, a bit."

She stroked his face and he closed his eyes.

"Did you make any plans for us this evening?" she asked.

"Um… yes," he answered sleepily. "There's a luau thing on the beach tonight. I thought we'd check it out."

"Okay," she said and cuddled up to him. In a moment, he fell asleep with her in his arms.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

When Picard awoke, his arms lay empty and the day's light was fading into long golden streams from the setting sun. "Shea?" he called.

"Out here," she answered, "on the deck. Lovely sunset."

He joined her and looked at the view of brilliant orange, pink and purple streaks in the sky. "It certainly is," he agreed.

"Manufactured, of course," she noted, "but still… quite nice."

He looked at her, knowing this wasn't her cup of tea, but recognizing her effort to go along with it. He then noticed a book in her hand. "What's that you're reading?"

"A romance novel. A real bodice ripper… I was just getting to the good part, where the hero rips off her clothing and finally has his way with her, which is, of course, what she was secretly wanting all along."

"No, you're not. Tell me what you're really reading there."

"I'm serious. Heaving breasts and all. I'm trying to get in the proper frame of mind."

"For what?"

"For when you attempt to seduce me later. I need to know how to be coy and demure so you can overwhelm me with your manly charms." She batted her eyes at him.

He snatched the book from her hands. "I think we should trash this." He was tempted to throw it into the water, but his sense of decorum prevented it.

"Give it back. I want to see if they live happily ever after."

"You're going to melt your brain reading stuff like this."

"It's my brain. Besides, I might learn something new that will amuse you."

"I hope not. You're plenty challenging enough as it is," he said, but handed it back. "Where did you get it?"

"Inside. There are several to choose from on the shelf in there. Maybe we should split them between us, then we could compare notes."

"I think not."

"You still want to go to that luau thing? I checked the schedule. It starts in about an hour. The dress code said 'go native'. Do you think that means naked?"

"No, I do not. I think it means something tropical."

"Whatever that means. I'll just wear my regular thing."

"I have a better idea. We passed a shop on the way here. Why don't you go buy something new, something fun," he suggested.

"Oh that's right. You're all about having fun now. Shall I pick you up a horga'hn while I'm at it?"

"No thank you, but if you see a nice shirt for me to wear, you can pick that up. Just put it on our room tab."

"So how are you paying for all this?"

"My Starfleet credits. I probably won't live long enough to spend them all. I could have retired years ago. So please, go spend some."

"Fine. I'll go see what I can come up with." She headed for the door.

"Shea, your skirt," he reminded her.

"You're not wearing anything."

"I'm in my own room. Private versus public." He gestured from inside to outside. "Is that really so hard a concept?"

She grabbed her skirt and put it on. "I seem to be having an influence on you. You're learning to be sarcastic."

"You may be right." He smiled and watched her go. He just wanted to sit out here on their private deck, enjoy the view and maybe read a bit. He watched the sun go down for long while. He thought about retrieving the book he had brought along, but then glanced at the old fashioned paged novel Shea had set down on the table beside him and picked it up. He flipped through it until he thought he was close to where she had been reading, and skimmed a few paragraphs. Ridiculously trite, he thought, but titillating enough to capture the reader's attention. He read on.

"Nice place," a woman said.

Picard jumped at the sound. Damn it, he thought, when he saw who it was. "What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded, not at all pleased to see her. He used the book to cover himself.

"Q dropped me off," Vash said, and stared at the book's cover. "A romance novel, Jean-Luc?"

"Came with the room," he told her. "Your presence here is not appreciated. You should go."

"Are you afraid she's going to see me with you?"

"No, but you should be."

"Q will protect me. We're very close."

"Good for you. Why don't you run along back to him then?"

"You're not still mad at me for leaving you behind and taking up with Q, are you?"

"I no longer have any personal opinion or emotional investment in the matter."

"I doubt that," she said confidently. "My you're looking remarkably fit," she observed staring at his body openly. She sat down next to him. He jumped up, grabbed his towel and wrapped it around his waist.

"Look, I don't know what you're up to, but I do know I want no part of it. Shea and I are on vacation together and I don't want you around spoiling it. Please leave now, before she gets back."

"Fine, fine. I'll go. But I'm not leaving Risa. I have as much right to vacation here as you and if we happen to run into each other, well I guess you're just going have to put up with it."

To his relief, she then walked out the door and up the beach. He watched until she was out of sight hoping Shea wouldn't cross paths with her. He kept watching, thinking Shea would be back soon and worrying about how he was going to tell her about this unwanted development. Maybe he would wait until after dinner and she'd had a few rum laden drinks. This was going to be awkward. He didn't have to wait long before he spotted her trotting down the beach in his direction, a bag in her hand. She saw him and waved. He put on a smile and waved back. Relax, he told himself, act natural. No rush to tell her, just wait for the right moment. When she got within range, he called out. "So did you find something fun?'

"I did." She waved the bag at him and came on in. She walked two feet past him and spun back. "What's wrong?"

"What makes you think…?" he started to say.

"Don't even go there," she warned him.

He nodded, letting his forced smile disappear. "I had a visitor. Vash."

"Why?" she asked, her eyes boring into him.

"I'm not sure. She said Q dropped her off."

"Wow." She shook her head. "He's actually meddling again."

"I told her to leave and she did. But apparently she's staying somewhere on Risa and intends to remain for awhile. I'm hoping we won't see her again."

"If Q's orchestrating this, you can bet we will."

"Do you want to go back to the ship? We don't have to stay."

"Absolutely not. I have no intention of letting Q and his stupid little toy ruin your fun. This was what you wanted and we're going to do everything you had in mind regardless of any attempt by either of them to spoil it." She opened the bag in her hand and smiled. "Would you like to see me in my new dress?"

"I would. Very much." He smiled back.

"Good." From the bag, she plucked out a subtly embroidered cream-colored man's shirt, and handed it to him. "For you. I think you'll look very handsome in it."

"Thank you."

She disappeared into the bathroom. In her absence, he put on the new shirt and found a pair of tan pants he had packed. He was just slipping on his sandals when Shea emerged. Her dress was also a creamy white, with a halter neck covering her front and leaving her back exposed. She spun and the knee length skirt parted into long strings revealing her bare legs. He was glad to see matching panties came with it. "Very nice," he said.

"Glad you approve. The shop girl said this would be appropriate. Sorry it took so long. I couldn't get her to stop asking who colors my hair and where could she get eye implants like mine. I finally told her it was a little shop in the gamma quadrant just to shut her up."

"Not fair, sending people off on wild goose chases." He smirked at her and offered his arm. "Shall we?"

They walked up the beach toward strings of lights and a crowd of people gathered for the festivities. Dancers twirled fire-ended sticks and drums pounded.

"You sure this isn't a Pacific Island from Earth?" Shea asked.

"Risans borrow heavily from the island locations of Earth and other planets for their tropical themed amusements," he explained. "They really don't have much to draw on from their own traditions. Their status as a pleasure world is relatively recent. Up until five hundred years ago when they got control over their planet's weather system, this was a cold and stormy place much of the time. They survived by fishing its icy waters and lived more like the Nordic people of old Earth, than our Pacific islanders."

"Must have been a shock to the plants and wild life."

"Huge," Picard agreed. "And very controversial. Thousands of native species were decimated when they couldn't adapt. There are still those here who campaign to turn off the climate control machines and return to the old ways. Some worlds have gone so far as to ban trade and visitation with Risa in protest against the destruction of its natural environment."

"But not the Federation."

"No. The Federation has always had a strict policy of non-interference."

"Interesting." Her eyes narrowed thoughtfully.

"Now, now. We're on vacation," he warned her.

"Right. We're just here to have fun."

"What a wonderful sentiment. I knew she'd be a good influence on you, Jean-Luc." Q thrust himself between them and put his arms around their shoulders. "Now don't you make the cutest couple?"

"They do, don't they?" Vash said from behind them. "Though not, of course, as cute as you and I, Q."

"Well, that goes without saying," Q agreed.

Shea stopped walking and turned to Picard. Quickly she moved toward him and kissed him, opening her mind. _ There is no one here but us. Just you and me. No one but us. _She kissed him deeper, repeating the same thought to him over and over until at last, she could feel him relax and accept it. When she pulled away, he opened his eyes and smiled.

"What was that all about?" he asked.

"I just felt like kissing you," she said. "Come on. Let's go see this luau."

He nodded and slipped his arm around her waist and walked toward the gathering again.

"Hey!" Q called out. "I'm still here, you know."

Picard kept walking, not hearing him. "Oh look," Picard said to Shea, "both moons are up."

"They're very beautiful," she replied.

Vash ran in front of them. "Hello?"

Picard didn't even blink. All he saw was the evening sky, the dark sand at their feet and the beckoning lights beyond. He and Shea walked past Vash as if she weren't there at all, just as Shea intended. Q and Vash fell behind, arguing with each other, and Shea smiled contentedly.

The evening passed pleasantly enough with interesting foods, tasty mixed drinks and exotic dancing. It turned out they had to deal with a little local notoriety when people recognized them as the ones who had been riding the Tohal. But that was fun too. She was happy to see Jean-Luc having a good time and never noticing Q and Vash in the crowd watching them and trying to catch his attention. Picard and Shea stayed at the party until early morning then finally headed back to their floating room. After they made love, Shea decided she had better tell him what she'd done.

"I have a confession about this evening. I hypnotized you." He scowled at her, not understanding. "Think back to the beach when we were walking to the luau. Someone came up behind us, someone we didn't want to see."

He continued to scowl, then it came back to him. "Q. Q was there. And Vash. And then they just went away."

"Not exactly. I hypnotized you so you couldn't hear or see them."

"What? Why would you do that?"

"Because Q loves attention and without getting yours, it wasn't fun for him anymore. I'd like your permission to do it again the next time he shows up. If he can't get a rise out of you, he might just go away permanently."

"Absolutely not. Shea, I appreciate your good intentions, but no. I want to be fully aware of what's going on, no matter what that might be."

"Well, it's up to you, of course. But if you truly want to be free of him, you should ignore him. Pretend he's not there, no matter what he says or does."

"How is ignoring him a viable response? When I angered him before, he played all kinds of havoc with me, my ship and my crew."

"Yes, he knows how to get under your skin. He's been doing it for years. Getting free of his attention is possible but it would take a lot of self-discipline on your part. He tries pestering me too, but I've learned to pay him no attention."

"Pay him no attention?" Picard shook his head. "I don't see how that would be possible."

"I know. That's why I hypnotized you."

"Well, don't do it again."

"But didn't you have a wonderful time? You felt happy and relaxed. Think how it would have gone if you'd been aware of their harping at you all night."

"Were they?"

"They tried. Oh were they pissed when you just kept walking by and not reacting at all. I have to tell you, it was great fun."

"At my expense."

"No, that's the whole point. It wasn't at your expense. It didn't harm you at all. It protected you."

Picard didn't know what to think of that. He knew Shea was trying to shield him, but to cut off his awareness was completely unacceptable.

"No," he said at last. "I will deal with Q and Vash in my own way. And I expect you to let me."

She frowned at him. "All right. But I think it's a mistake."

The next morning, Shea and Picard decided that breakfast at the resort's restaurant would be a nice change of pace. They sat outside at a table overlooking the water with a spread of fresh fruit, and light as air pastries. Shea opted for hot coffee while Picard had ordered his standard Earl Grey. Picard kept looking out to sea, thinking about that sunken ship they'd been about to explore before they had encountered the Tohal.

"How's my pirate doing today?" Shea asked.

Picard smiled. "Caught me again."

"Maybe we should rent a sailboat," she suggested. "I bet you'd enjoy that."

"Do you know anything about sailing?"

"A bit."

"Uh oh. When you say a bit, it means you're an expert."

She shrugged, "Okay, so I've sailed a boat a time or two."

"How big a boat?"

"Some bigger than others, some smaller… does it really matter?"

Picard regarded her closely, realizing he was touching on something she didn't want to discuss. One of those things she had obviously chosen not to share. Sailing no longer seemed appealing.

"Actually, I was thinking about heading inland and doing some rock climbing," he said.

"Really? I didn't know that was something you enjoyed."

"Oh yes. One of my hobbies, when I get the chance. It requires focus and discipline. I find it very rewarding. This world has a unique cliff face that's particularly challenging. It actually moves and is quite unpredictable, or so I've been told. It's not far from here. We could hike there through the jungle. Take us a couple hours, maybe less. Or we can catch a shuttle."

"I vote jungle," she said.

"Thought you might. Just promise me we won't end up riding a tiger."

"You never know."

The hike through the jungle trail proved scenic but uneventful. The only wild life they spotted were orange colored monkeys that hooted at them as they passed. They emerged from the jungle an hour and a half later. "Guess the only tiger you get to ride is me," Shea teased him.

"Suits me, " he said with a smile, then looked ahead. "There's Galatha, the cliff I was telling you about. Let's go see just how difficult a climb it is."

They soon stood at the base, staring upward. Picard examined the stone and shale surface, looking for handholds and crevices. It seemed doable to him.

"Thinking about going up?" a man in a green uniform called out as he walked towards them.

"Considering it," Picard replied.

"I'm Ricalt, one of the park guides here. You can register with me, and I can answer any questions you might have."

"So you keep track of everyone?"

"That's my job. I watch them go up and I pick up the pieces when they come down."

"I'm planning on keeping all my pieces together."

"Good plan, but I have to warn you, it's an extremely difficult climb. You better be in good shape and well experienced. Don't be fooled by what you can see here from the ground. Once you get up there, things change quickly."

"So I hear. Still I'm willing to give it a go. Any restrictions?"

"No free soloing is permitted. You have two choices. You can go up attached to a top rope with a belayer assisting, or you can wear an emergency transporter. In the case of the latter, should you fall, you'll find yourself dropped in the middle of that net over there." He pointed a hundred yards away to an above ground netting system. Just as he pointed, someone materialized in the air above it and landed in its center.

"I'll take the transporter."

"All the adrenaline junkies do," Ricalt said wearily. "I'm assuming you know how to land safely in a net? It's not as easy as it looks."

"I'll be fine."

"And what about you?" Ricalt asked Shea. "Going up or staying on the ground with the rest of the smart people?"

Shea hesitated uncertainly. The climb looked fun, but the last thing she wanted to do was compete with Picard. This was for him, not her. "I'll just watch."

"Are you sure?" Picard asked. "You'd probably enjoy it and the view from the summit should be spectacular."

"You don't have to climb the face to get to the summit," Ricalt informed them. "There's a back trail you can go up. Or if you really want to take it easy, you can ride the elevator."

"I'll watch you climb then take the elevator and meet you at the top." Shea offered.

"Pansy." Picard said good humouredly.

Ricalt took down his personal information and pinned an emergency transporter badge to him. "This will kick in if you fall from at least twenty feet or higher. Any lower and you're on your own."

"How far does he have to fall before it transports him?" Shea asked.

"About 10 feet."

"Ever had one not kick in, as you put it?"

"We don't like to talk about that." Ricalt smiled. Shea's eyes narrowed at him. "Never happened," he quickly corrected himself. "They're very reliable."

"They better be," she warned him.

"Now, now. Don't scare the locals." Picard told her. "I've climbed with these before. Nothing to worry about."

Shea watched as Picard stepped onto the wall, finding hand and footholds as he went. It wasn't but a few minutes before he was well above the transporter range and he didn't seem to be having any problem making his way up the cliff. When he reached a height of about 40 meters, she saw the rock face shift beneath him, pitching him backwards. Somehow he hung on, and found a way to wedge himself into the rock and push up to the next ledge. _Breathe, _she told herself when she realized she wasn't. Another 20 meters up, he moved past a couple of other climbers. She couldn't tell if they were male or female, but she could see one was attached to the top rope, while the other appeared to be free climbing like Picard. Picard stopped climbing for a moment, probably catching his breath she thought. Then she spotted something small falling and bouncing down the face of the cliff. It transported mid air into the net beyond. She ran to retrieve it and caught it as it dropped through the netting. It was someone's transporter badge. She looked up at Picard. He seemed okay, but still wasn't climbing. Spotting Ricalt nearby, she raced over to him with the badge. "Who does this belong to?"

He pulled out his tablet and scanned the badge. "Jean-Luc Picard."

She tucked the badge into her waistband. "I'll deal with you later," she told him before spinning away and taking a running jump at the cliff. She scrambled up the face as quickly as she could.

"Hey, no free soloing!" Ricalt yelled.

"Too late for that!" she said, already half way up. She felt the wall shift and change pitch. The handhold she had grabbed disappeared. Instinctively, she dug in her claws and launched herself upward again. She decided the outcroppings and crevices were too unreliable since they seemed to have a mind of their own. She relied on her claws and kept going. In a few moments, she could see Picard above her. Suddenly the whole cliff face shifted violently backwards and shook him loose. Shea jumped, grabbed him in mid-air and they plummeted together. Within a few feet, the transporter in her waistband did its job and they materialized above the safety net. She released her hold on him and they both fell into the net onto their backs. She bounced to her feet. "You okay?" she asked him. "I'm fine," he said, but he looked and sounded angry. Not as angry as she was. She grabbed the edge of the net, flipped over and dropped to the ground. Then she headed for Ricalt. He saw her coming, and started to back away.

"Wait!" Picard yelled, but she kept going - incensed. **_STOP!_ **She felt his command in her mind and it was enough to make her come to a halt. She heard him running up from behind.

"This wasn't Ricalt's doing," he told her. "It was Q."

"What?" She automatically looked up at the cliff.

"So much for ignoring him," Picard added.

Shea cursed softly to herself. Then she removed the transporter badge from her waist band and tossed it to Ricalt without comment. He made an entry on his tablet and walked away.

Shea shook her head and stared at the ground. "I'm sorry."

"This is hardly your fault," Picard said.

"Isn't it?"

"Q's been bothering me for years, long before I met you."

"Jean, we met in the past, before you were even born."

Picard stared at her as the implication of what she was saying took shape in his mind. "Are you telling me that he first took notice of me because of you? That my connection to you is the very reason Q has been personally harassing me all this time?"

"I thought by now you would have figured that out."

In retrospect it made perfect sense, but somehow he had never made the connection, and Shea must have known that. Picard regarded her grimly.

"This vacation is over," he told her.

They took the shuttle back to their room. Picard spoke only in monosyllables during the ride, the clearing out of their room, and transport back to Ship.

Data greeted them with a smile. "Welcome back. Did you enjoy your vacation?"

"Let's just say it could have gone better," Picard answered. "I want the crew back on board. It's time we stopped fooling around."

Data's smile vanished. "I'll see to it immediately."

"I'll be in my quarters. Keep me informed."

"Yes, sir."

Picard turned about and left Data and Shea standing there.

Data looked at Shea curiously, registering her distraught expression. "Is the Captain upset with you?"

"Yes, he is."

"Can you repair your relationship?"

"I don't know. He's just realized something that he didn't understand before, and it's changed his opinion of me."

"You appear to be sad," Data observed.

She closed her eyes and nodded.

"May I hug you?" He opened his arms to her. She made no move away so he stepped forward and gently enclosed her, calculating the exact amount of pressure to exert without causing her discomfort. When she put her head on his shoulder, he felt satisfied. "I will always be your friend, " he told her. "There is nothing I could learn about you that I would not accept."

"Don't be so sure," she said into his chest.

"I am absolutely sure. Do not doubt me."

She sighed, put her arms around him and let him hold her for a long time.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

By the next day, everyone had returned from Risa and Picard called a meeting of his senior staff. At his request, Ship formed a black oval conference table for the seven of them in the same multi-purpose room where he and Shea had once met with Riker and Troi. He saw that each of them had donned their newly issued uniforms, designed to reflect their allegiance to Ship in its colors of black, grey and silver. Their comlink badges were a widened oval resembling a barred spiral galaxy. Even Shea wore the uniform, sleeveless, of course. Picard took note of the faces before him. He was starting to become accustomed to them. Scotty and Bleton sat to his right along with Dr. Bashir. To his immediate left sat Data, with Chorack next to him. Shea sat at the far end, her face expressionless, but he could hear her telegraphing the same message she had been repeating since their return from Risa. _I'm sorry. Please forgive me._ Once again, he ignored it.

"Gentlemen," Picard addressed his department heads. "Now that we are fully prepared to operate this ship, and have taken a much needed break, I think it is time we decided what we are all about. We have no superiors to answer to, no regulations to consider other than the ones we set for ourselves, and have at our disposal the speed, weapons and defenses of a vessel that rivals any that I have seen. It is an enviable position we find ourselves in, but one that carries with it a heavy responsibility."

"Aye," Scotty agreed solemnly. "I've been thinking similar thoughts."

"I have been monitoring subspace communications and will continue to do so as a matter of course. I suggest we all keep ourselves aware of what's going on around us. If something comes up that you think is of special interest or importance, please bring it to my attention. I know we each have connections and personal histories that may come into play when considering a course of action. I am open to suggestions and opinions, but as Captain, I will have the final say."

Each of his staff nodded their heads in understanding.

"So what are we about, Captain?" Chorack asked. "I am ready to do battle, but I must know what we fight for."

"For now, it is for the protection of this ship and crew. If and when we take on an outside cause, you will be informed of it."

Chorack narrowed his eyes at him and rumbled darkly. Shea hissed and he stopped. Picard noted that Chorack kept his eyes averted from her gaze. Something else she hadn't quite explained.

"Speaking of outside causes," he continued. "I would like input from each of you. I have some ideas of my own but will take your suggestions into consideration."

"Are you soliciting verbal input at this time, or requesting suggestions in the form of written report with supporting information?" Data inquired.

"Both, I think. Do you have something you wish to share now?"

"I have heard reports that another crystalline entity exists. We were never able to complete our study of the creature due to its destruction. However, moments before that occurred, it appeared we had been able to initiate a rudimentary form of communication. I would be intrigued to attempt contact again."

Picard nodded. "An interesting proposal. I'll take it under advisement. Anyone else?"

Dr. Bashir raised a hand. "As you know, the Jem'hadar are still a problem. Although they retreated to the Gamma Quadrant, they still make raids on outlying settlements and push back any attempts by the Federation to explore wormholes."

"What are you proposing?

"I was working on a formula remaking white, the narcotic that controls them. There was one case of a non-addicted Jem'Hadar that was genetically resistant. If I could reformulate the white to include that genetic code, we might free them from the Dominion once and for all. It would cut the legs of the Dominion's aggression."

Picard nodded thoughtfully. "Something to aspire to, surely. I encourage you to keep working on that formula." He looked around the table but no one seemed ready with another proposal. "Very well, if there's nothing else for now…"

"Actually, I have a suggestion," Shea said, "if you're interested."

Picard leaned back and waved permission to speak.

"Nimbus III," she said. "They need our help."

Picard knew the planet well. Nimbus III was a long ago failed experiment in peaceful co-existence that had ended up as a refuge for rogues and thieves.

"Why on earth, would you suggest we go there?"

"Like I said, they need help. No one else in this wide galaxy gives a damn about them. We're a rogue ship, they're a rogue planet. Sounds like a match to me. Besides, if I recall, you dumped Admiral Conners there. I think you owe them."

"I'm not sure I agree with that." Picard glanced at Scotty. "Didn't Kirk's Enterprise have a personal experience with that planet."

"Aye, we did at that. The old Enterprise was lured there by the renegade Vulcan, Sybok. He wanted our ship to take him to Sha Ka Ree. Poor misguided soul. All he found was death."

"I'm not looking for paradise, Scotty," Shea said, "but I think we can help them become independent and self-determining."

"It's a noble concept, my dear," Scotty replied, "But I don't see how this little crew has a better chance of success than all the efforts of the Klingons, the Romulans and the Federation combined."

"That combined government is the core of the problem. It's always been crippled by conflicting opinions, and infighting. Nobody is really in charge. We won't have that issue."

"Still, it's a god-forsaken rock of a world," Scotty warned her.

"Exactly right, which means no one recognizes its value. Every planet has something unique to offer. We just have to figure out what that is. Look around this table. I handpicked every one of you. You are the best there is in each of your fields. You want to make a difference? Here's your chance."

"Opinions?" Picard invited diplomatically, though in truth he had little interest in the idea.

"It is an intriguing challenge," Data observed. "Shea is correct that the local populace suffers from a chaotic environment. In the time described by Mr. Scott the planet was largely occupied by unscrupulous persons seeking to evade authorities, but it has since become populated in large part by their descendants who seem to have few options available to them and are often preyed upon."

"So we've established a need," Picard acknowledged, "but I'm not convinced we have the means to address it."

"Oh, we have the means," Shea countered. "The question is, do you have the will?"

Picard frowned at her impudence. He was already annoyed with her and this wasn't furthering her cause in the least.

"If you are convinced this is more than a pipedream, then come up with a well thought out plan, mapping out step-by-step how you would approach this idea of yours. Then and only then, will I consider your suggestion."

She smiled and shook her head. "You know I don't work that way."

"Perhaps I can be of assistance," Data offered. "I would like to consider the idea in further detail. With your permission, Captain, I will attempt to come up with a viable proposal."

"Very well. I'll hold off judgment until then. Thank you all. Dismissed."

Picard returned to his quarters and went back to monitoring subspace communications, looking especially for news of the Enterprise and its whereabouts. If anything of special import occurred, the Enterprise would be among the first to know. Before long, Shea entered the room and sat nearby watching him. He tried his best to ignore her.

"Anything I can do to help?" she asked.

"Yes," he replied, "Don't talk." She sighed, and spun her chair in circles. After the sixth rotation, he was truly irritated. "Must you do that?"

"No." She stopped circling and planted her feet. She continued staring at him.

"Why don't you go find something productive to do."

"I already have found something."

He finally moved his gaze away from the screen to look at her. "And just what exactly would that be?"

"To sit here and stare at you until you agree to talk to me."

"Is this about your ridiculous suggestion to rescue the population of Nimbus III?"

"No, but it's nice to know you're keeping an open mind."

"Then what is it?"

"I've apologized repeatedly. I've asked you to forgive me, but I get nothing back from you.

"And just what is it you think you're apologizing for?"

"For bringing Q into your life."

Picard shook his head. "That's what I thought."

"I said I'm sorry. It's not like I can do anything about it."

"I realize that."

"Then why are you ignoring me. This can't go on. We have to discuss this."

"I have every intention of discussing what's troubling me. When I am ready. You just can't back off, can you?"

"Okay. This is me, backing off. What would you have me do?"

"I really don't care, just so long as it isn't here. Maybe you should go make your rounds. I'm sure the crew missed you," he said bitterly.

She shook her head but rose from the chair and headed to the door. "We'll talk later, then?"

He was already looking at the display, and made no reply.

After exiting their quarters, Shea stood in the corridor uncertain where to go or what to do. Yes, Picard was undoubtedly right. The crew probably had missed her attentions, but she was in no mood to visit any of them. Still she needed to know if all was well. She pressed her hand against the darkly glowing wall and let her mind slide into Ship's. The wall shuddered under her palm as Ship sensed her mental and physical presence. She followed Ship's awareness of its natural flesh and artificial enhancements, seeing that Ship felt well and was operating at top performance. She then followed Ship's observations of the crew within its body, finding that they were attending to their assigned tasks, or socializing or eating or resting. No one appeared to be in any distress. _Good,_ she thought. And Ship thought back to her, _ Yes, sweet Shea, it is good._

She let her mind pull back again. Ship was kind and loyal and highly intelligent, but when it came to understanding the intrigue of the human mind, Ship was clueless. She wished she had someone to talk to, someone who might help her comprehend this disconnection she now sensed between her and PIcard. She thought of Deanna. Deanna had always understood what motivated him. How ironic, that she, who could look into the depths of Picard's mind, had less insight than a mere empath.

I must back off, she told herself, as he asked. Picard will talk to me when he is ready and if I am patient, he will help me understand.

Then she thought about how quickly he had dismissed her suggestion about Nimbus III. Data, however, seemed interested and had volunteered to research it further and come up with a detailed plan of action. She knew Data was on the Bridge. Picard wanted her gone from him for awhile, so this seemed to be a good time to explore her idea further with Data. She headed for the Bridge.

Data turned to greet her when she entered and sat next to him. "So, how's everything?" she asked.

Data looked puzzled. "Could you be more specific?"

"How are you doing personally and what are you doing in general?"

"Ah. Personally, I am doing well, by which I mean that I am functioning at optimal level. What I am doing includes monitoring Ship's operations, searching for additional sightings and energy traces of the Crystalline entity, plotting a course to Nimbus III, researching its current populace and government representatives, and devising a way to overthrow the existing government. I am also conducting a series of efficiency calculations on the Nacells, the food replicators, the torpedo launch systems, … " Data paused. He had learned from many years spent with humans that he was considered too verbose. "Would you like me to continue?"

"Only if there is something more that you would like to share."

Data considered for a moment but decided he was content as to his current activities and did not need to share them further. Instead, he asked, "And how are you doing, personally?"

"Still functioning," she said. She decided not to share her concerns. Data had already been aggressive with Picard when he had observed them not getting along. She was confident Data would not harm his Captain again, but she didn't want Data judging him either. "I thought we could go over the Nimbus III proposal. You seemed to take my suggestion seriously."

"Yes, of course. You would not have suggested it, if it did not have merit. I believe that attempting to rectify the anarchy that exists on Nimbus III would be an excellent test of our combined abilities."

"We appear to be thinking alike. And I agree that the existing triumvirate has to go. I would propose we set up a self-governing union with representatives from all the existing settlements. But even more important, we have to discover what is unique about that world. They need something to offer in trade that will alter the balance of power for them."

And if we can find no natural resource?" Data asked.

"Then we'll have to invent something."

"Intriguing."

For the next couple of hours, she and Data bounced ideas off each other, and debated their merits. Then her conversation with Data was interrupted by a mental summons from Picard. She acknowledged it immediately.

"Thank you, Data," she said, "but I must take leave of you now."

"If you must," Data replied, "but before you go, I have an observation I wish to share."

"Of course."

"I have noted that you have not visited me since your return from Risa."

"Don't take it personally. I haven't visited anyone as yet."

"I have missed you."

Shea smiled at him. "Soon." And then she left the Bridge.

Data watched her depart, all of his activities suspended for the brief moment that he tried to quantify the word 'soon.'

"Off visiting the crew?" Picard asked when she returned to their quarters.

"No, I didn't _visit_ anyone," she said understanding his euphemism.

"Aren't you concerned they might be feeling neglected?"

"I haven't been gone that long," she said.

"And just how often do you see each of them? Is there an order of preference? Do some receive more of your attentions than the others?"

She didn't answer.

"Don't you think I have the right to know?"

"You don't really want to know any of this. Why are you asking?"

"Because I want to be fully informed, as you promised me. I'm tired of secrets. I'm tired of you doling out only what you think I need to know, revealing your truths in bits and pieces."

"I'm trying to protect you."

"Maybe you should try trusting me instead."

"You think I don't trust you? That's why you're angry?"

"Yes, it is. I can't be in charge if you hide information from me in some misguided attempt to spare my feelings. You've even gone so far as to hypnotize me to keep me in the dark. I'm not a mushroom. So let's try this again, shall we? We'll start with the small secrets and work up to the really big ones. Now answer me fully and honestly. Do you visit every member of this crew?"

She shook her head no. "Only the department heads, except Bleton. He's Ketlon. We're not compatible."

"So if I'm understanding you correctly, the list of those with whom you are physically intimate includes Data, Mr. Scott, Dr. Bashir and Chorack. No one else?"

"No. That's it. Other than yourself, of course."

"The list is shorter than I anticipated. I am surprised that Chorack is one of them, however. Explain that to me."

"He is an intelligent and highly skilled warrior. The best I could find."

"And he does not look you in the eye."

"No. He knows better. I had to teach him to respect me in the Klingon way. Otherwise, he would be challenging me constantly."

"I understand Klingon fighting rituals," Picard replied. "But why have Klingons on board at all? You've hated them for a very long time. Why subject yourself to their presence when you didn't need to?"

"Call it an effort at personal growth. I saw something in Worf, a kindness and generosity I had never recognized in his race before. I witnessed your friendship with him and his loyalty to you. So I decided it was time to find common ground."

Picard nodded. "Commendable."

"I'm glad you think so."

"All right, let's move on to bigger issues. There are two powerful entities that seem to be very interested in us. We tiptoe around these proverbial elephants in the room and avoid discussing them. I would like very much to discuss them, but I don't know if we can do so safely. Can we mention them by name without their popping in on us and wreaking havoc?"

"I doubt it makes a bit of difference either way. I'm quite sure they'll do as they like, whether we discuss them or not."

"Then let's talk about it. At least we can have that much freedom. I'll begin with Q," Picard paused automatically to see if the named party would show up uninvited. They were still alone. "As I was saying, I would like to talk about Q." He glanced about again then met Shea's gaze which remained steadily on him. He found that encouraging and continued. "Apparently, you believe his interest in me is a direct result of his interest in you, and that it began when we met in the past due to my accidental jump through the Guardian. However, from my perspective, I first experienced Q at Farpoint years earlier - long before I met you, and since he was the very one who pushed me through the Guardian and caused us to meet in the past, I think you can understand why from my point of view, Q's interference with the Enterprise appeared to pre-date my contact with you."

"Chicken and the egg," Shea mumbled.

"Yes, I agree, it's a circular argument, with no defined beginning or end. But by any interpretation, something is clearly driving him, and you appear to have some idea what that might be. Something that you are choosing not to share."

"I don't really know for sure. The way he acts, it seems as if we're just another outlet for his amusement, but he seems to be taking an awfully high risk to satisfy it. So it must be something more, something to do with D."

Picard paused again, realizing Shea had just named the second and even bigger elephant. Still, no one showed up. "You think he's risking D's disfavor."

"Possibly... or he may be doing his bidding. He's your 'friend,' so you tell me."

"He did communicate my wish that you return to me."

"Yes, he told me you had asked for me."

"So Q went directly to you? So did you contact D to get permission?"

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't."

Picard frowned at her. "That is not an answer. I'm quite certain that you've had contact with D on a number of occasions, based on my research and on what he told me himself, but you've shared none of those experiences with me."

"I can't share them." Her voice sounded defensive and a little desperate.

"Why?"

"Because… because thinking about it threatens my sanity. And if it threatens mine, it may very well destroy yours. On this topic, you will find my memories completely inaccessible. I've pushed them to the very bottom of my subconscious, buried so deep below my awareness that I couldn't share them with you if I wanted to, which I don't. Pray that they never see the light of day."

Picard regarded her in alarm. "That hardly sounds healthy."

"Survival is healthy," she countered. "Being able to function is healthy. Enjoying your company and this life I've chosen here with you is healthy. This manner of coping allows me to do that."

"I can't say I fully understand what you're telling me." He fell silent, trying to comprehend an existence built on a continuous suppression of memory. "How often do you have contact with him?"

"Hard to say. He exists in another dimension. His time is not ours. He can pull me out in mid-sentence and return me before I complete it. You might never notice, except for a twitch in my eye or a sudden intake of breath, if that. I suppress the memory immediately so that it doesn't cripple me. I can't tell you when the last time was or how often it occurs or what happened when it did because I simply don't remember. Perhaps he helps me to forget, I'm not sure. But I do know it's a blessing."

"Is it? I wonder."

"Wonder all you like, this is how it is. I've answered your questions as best I can and I hope you trust that I'm not hiding anything that I am able to share."

If he hadn't met D for himself, he would think she was delusional, but he knew better. "I believe you."

"Good. Now I have a request. If you can't actually forget this conversation, for my sake, pretend to. Let me enjoy this life and feel good about it. Don't ever discuss it with me again. Talk to anyone else you want to, theorize all you like, I don't care, but not in my presence. I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to think about it. Promise me, please."

Picard blinked in surprise and uncertainty. Never talk about this again? He couldn't imagine not wanting to talk about it. "I don't know if I can."

"Please," she insisted. "If you care for me at all, promise me this."

It took him awhile, but slowly he nodded. "I'll do my best to honor your request. I promise."

"Thank you," she said and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, she smiled at him. "Now what were we talking about? Oh yes, Nimbus III. I was discussing it with Data and we came up with some good ideas I think you may like."

"Nimbus III?" Picard realized that she had just repressed her memory of their conversation. "Is that what we were just talking about?"

"Come on. Stop dismissing it out of hand. When you hear Data's proposal, you're going to think it's a great idea."

"Perhaps," he replied feeling somewhat dazed. "I've been known to accept far stranger ones."

"Good. I'm glad you're trying to be more flexible in your thinking."

"If I get any more flexible, I'll be looking up my own-"

She covered his mouth. "Shame on you. Being open minded is a good thing."

He sighed. "I'm trying to believe that. I truly am."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Picard had always wanted to make a difference. That desire had driven him from his earliest memories, inspired by stories of his ancestors and their personal achievements - scientists, inventors, explorers, and political leaders, those who had achieved notoriety, and those who had remained behind the scenes. His father had made it clear, early on, that much was expected of him. He carried the name Picard and he'd damned well better live up to it. He'd worked hard to do just that and he was proud of his accomplishments. As Captain of the Federation's flagship, he had never questioned that his career had meaning and purpose. He had made a difference, many times over, in the lives of individuals and the fates of entire worlds. His duties and responsibilities had been clear cut. But now here he was, Captain of a powerful rogue ship, with no defined rules or restrictions. Too much freedom could be nearly as paralyzing as none at all.

He pondered how he had gotten to this unexpected point in his life. Some might easily conclude that he was suffering from a midlife crisis. After all, he had voluntarily resigned from Starfleet simply so that he could enjoy the company of a woman who made him feel young again. An undeniably unique woman, true, but still. So had he made the right choice or merely the selfish one? He very much wanted it to be the right choice. To ensure that, he needed to be certain that he was still making a difference.

As he sat down at the head of the conference table with his senior staff assembled once more, he prepared himself to keep an open mind. Data was about to present a plan for the reformation of Nimbus III. If they attempted to do this, they might very well make a difference in the lives of its downtrodden inhabitants. They would also simultaneously alienate three of the most powerful nations in the galaxy - the Klingon Empire, the Romulan Empire and the Federation.

Data activated a large display screen on the wall, depicting Nimbus III in its binary star system. "Our plan proposes the reorganization of the planet's governmental structure," Data began. "This will require a military coup removing the three heads of state, and their militia. The governing body is located here in the planet's capital, Paradise City." The display zoomed in on the capital, a spired stone city in a desert wasteland. "Most of the militia are stationed there as well. Planetary defenses are technologically outdated and should present little challenge for Ship. The triumvirate governing body has made no recent effort to improve them. They consider the threat of an attack minimal since they believe nothing there is worth stealing or defending."

"So you're suggesting we take over. But for how long?' Picard asked.

"A few weeks at most. In that time, we can set up a provisional government based on rules of democratic representation. The structure for representation is already in existence. It just needs realistic implementation without the triumvirate continually overruling legislative reforms introduced by the sector representatives."

"So you believe the base of the existing government structure is solid enough to build upon if we eliminate the external influences?"

"Precisely."

"Well, now, that all sounds well and good, Laddie," Scotty commented, "but what's to stop the Triumvirate from marching right back in there once we're gone? You said their defenses were hopelessly antiquated."

"They won't be when we leave," Data replied.

"You're suggesting we arm them?" Picard asked.

"Yes, sir."

Dr. Julian Bashir spoke up. "Okay, we get their government up and running, and give them the ability to protect themselves. So what? How does this improve their lives? They barely eke out a living there. They might call that place Paradise City, but it looks more like hell to me."

"I cannot assess whether the capital of Nimbus III accurately resembles the human concept of hell," Data replied. "However, I think you are correct that merely establishing a new government and improved defenses will not greatly impact the inhabitants' standard of living. To address that issue, we must assist them in establishing trade with other worlds."

"I thought they had nothing of value," Chorack stated.

"Nothing of recognized value," Data corrected. "The planet contains significant organic deposits that I believe could be mined at a profit." He corrected the display to zero in on dark mountains beyond the city. "Records show that this area contains a curious metamorphic rock not dissimilar to the long ago depleted deposits of carbon-rich shungite found on Earth. Shungite contained naturally occurring fullerenes commonly referred to as buckyballs, which are highly sought after in nanotech engineering. Functionalized fullerenes are used to design and build atomically precise programmable machines particularly useful in space faring aeronautics."

"Aye, that they are," Scotty agreed. "They're light as a feather."

"Can't these fullerenes be synthetically created?" Picard asked.

"Yes, Captain," Data replied, " but only in limited quantities at significant cost. A naturally occurring deposit would produce large quantities for far less."

"Well, the demand for cheap raw material is certainly there," Scotty agreed. "Do you think the natives are up to mining it?"

"I believe so. We will provide the tools and the instruction, and explain it as an opportunity to improve their lives."

Picard nodded thoughtfully. "It seems you've come up with a viable plan." He saw Shea smiling at him from her seat at the end of the table.

"It'll still be a godforsaken rock though," Scottie said. "Glad I don't have to live there."

"You might change your mind someday," Shea said.

Data turned to her. "Would you like to describe the final aspect of our proposal. It was your idea."

"Okay. I have to agree with Scotty. As it is, I wouldn't want to live there either. Even if they govern themselves successfully and make a profit in trade, it's still a hellhole. So I thought they should have the same technology to control their weather that Risa has. Who knows, they might even choose to turn themselves into a pleasure planet."

"You're not suggesting that we build a world-wide weather control system for them?" Picard said, knowing what a monumental task that would be.

"No, what I'm suggesting is that we give them the plans for one. It would be up to them to build it someday."

"So you want to give them a goal. Something to Inspire them."

"Exactly."

Picard began to smile a little, but he held himself back. "There is one more very important issue to consider. If we choose to do this, we will be instigating revolution of a settlement established by the Klingon, Romulan and Federation alliance. They will not look kindly upon our actions, no matter what the outcome might be. They may merely sanction us, or they may hunt us down. It's likely that the Federation will issue a warrant for our arrest and want to prosecute us for gross interference. Are we prepared for that?"

"They can't catch us," Shea said. "Nobody can."

"You're very confident."

"We shadowed the Enterprise for a long time. Until we de-cloaked you never knew we were there."

"True. But that's because we weren't looking for you. The Enterprise scanned this ship. Undoubtedly they've figured out a way to trace our energy signatures by now."

"Ship, tell the Captain what happens when you feel you're being scanned without permission."

"I screen myself, of course, with false readings," Ship replied. "Uninvited scanning is rude and I will not be violated in that manner."

"It's an instinctive response, an organic based defense mechanism," she explained, "much like a squid or octopus squirting ink when it feels threatened."

"So they can't trace us," Picard concluded.

"No."

"Still, we'll be outlaws."

"We already are," Shea told him. "It's the definition of a rogue ship. We set our own laws."

Picard looked at his staff. "Speak your minds everyone."

Scotty spoke first. "I like this plan. Sounds exciting."

Julian smiled big. "It does, doesn't it. I said I wanted fewer restrictions and more frontier. Think I've found it. I'm in."

"Mr. Chorack?" Picard regarded his head of security.

"I grow tired of sitting here. I am eager for battle. Let us take down this unjust government."

"Hmmm. I'd like this to be a bloodless revolution. Let's try to avoid a violent confrontation if at all possible. I expect you to keep that in mind and show restraint, Mr. Chorack."

"I understand, Captain. We will do what is necessary. No more and no less."

"Once we take the three leaders of the Triumvirate into custody, I believe the militia will stand down," Data said. "I anticipate little resistance. As Shea said, their hearts won't be in it. Most of the soldiers stationed there are conscripted and are undoubtedly eager to return to their home worlds."

Picard nodded, but then realized he'd had no input from Bleton, the small green humanoid who always observed them in silence.

"Bleton, are you in agreement as well?"

Ship translated through the series of blinking lights on the table in front of Bleton. Bleton blinked back rapidly.

"Bleton's only concern is for my safety," Ship informed them. "He feels that the plan will not put me at jeopardy and therefore has no opposition to it."

"Very well then. It seems we are all willing to take on Nimbus III. Prepare yourselves and your departments. Once we arrive, I expect everyone to be ready. We're going to have to move fast."

He dismissed everyone except Data whom he asked to remain behind.

"I have a special assignment for you, Data. It has to do with Shea, but is on a topic I do not want you to discuss with her."

"I have difficulty with the concept of keeping information secret from her."

"I understand, but I believe once I explain the circumstances you will agree." Picard then went on to tell Data of his conversation with Shea on the subject of the entity D and the possibility that he was harassing her much the same way Q harassed Picard, or worse. "I'm hoping you can find a way to detect his taking her out this dimension, document it, see how often it is occurring."

"Time-space distortions are usually detectable with standard ship scanning equipment. If Shea has described them accurately, perhaps they have not shown up due to their ephemeral nature in our time perceptions. I will give attention to this matter and see if I can find evidence of the events she has described."

"And you agree not to mention this to her."

"Yes, sir. Since it was her request, I agree that is best."

Three days later, Ship entered orbit around Nimbus III, cloaked and undetected.

"Analysis, Mr. Data?" PIcard asked.

"The planetary defenses are as anticipated. There have been no improvements made. Phasers targeted on the weakest points in the shield should penetrate easily. Once deactivated, we can transport to the ground. I have pinpointed the location of the Triumverate leaders.

"Do you have the targets sited."

"Affirmative."

"Fire when ready."

Data's fingers flew over the controls, firing Ship's phasers. "Planetary shields are down and inoperable," he reported. "The first away team is transporting to the designated coordinates now."

"Very good, Mr. Data. Let's join them, shall we?"

When he and Data materialized they found themselves standing in a large rotunda shaped room where a round table sat in the middle. Chairs knocked to the floor indicated a scuffle had taken place. In two upright chairs sat a Federation officer and a uniformed Romulan male, both tied and gagged. Picard knew their names and their histories from Data's research. Two of Chorack's men stood nearby guarding the prisoners. From somewhere nearby, Picard heard loud angry voices and a thud on the wall.

"It appears to be coming from over there." Data pointed to the right where a large wooden door stood ajar. Picard started for the door but then realized the sounds were coming closer. In a moment, a very large and very angry Klingon fell onto the floor in front of him, hands bound behind his back. Shea appeared and tugged him to his feet with the help of Chorack who had come through the door behind her. Together they slammed the Klingon into another chair and bound him.

"You will never get away with this!" the tied Klingon yelled at them.

Shea shook her head as she gagged him. "Why do they always say that? Every single time." She looked over at Picard. "Well, here they are. All three of them. Have at it."

Picard took in the sight of the three government leaders tied to their chairs, their faces displaying either rage, fear or both combined. He decided calming them was the first order of business.

"Gentlemen, my apologies for the rough treatment. We have no intention of harming you. We merely require your cooperation. If you will agree to listen politely, I will have your gags removed."

The Federation officer was first to nod in agreement. Chorack stepped forward and removed his gag.

"I recognize you. You're Jean-Luc Picard!" the man said. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I'll explain in a moment, Commander Lederer." Picard looked at the Romulan, who also nodded. Picard signaled and Chorack removed his gag as well. "I appreciate your cooperation, General Lutok." The Romulan said nothing.

"And you, Peroktahg?" Picard asked the Klingon who in response glared at him, and did not nod. "Very well, then, you shall remain as you are."

He stepped back to look at all three of them. "We're taking over," he told them simply. "This Triumvirate has proved completely ineffective and the people subjected to its failed government have suffered far too long. Today, it ends."

"On whose authority?" Lederer demanded.

"Ours, Commander."

"What? You can't just waltz on in here and take over. Have you lost your mind? They'll have your command for this."

"Apparently, you haven't heard the news. I am no longer a Starfleet officer. I resigned. I have my own ship and my own agenda now."

"Your own agenda? You really have gone mad. So what are your intentions?"

"We intend to set up a self-governing union free of outside interference."

"You know very well, that's been our intention all along. This was an experiment in peaceful cooperation."

"An experiment that failed long ago and continues to fail. But still the Triumvirate remains in power exploiting the populace instead of protecting it."

"You also know that the Federation has been working hard to correct those very problems."

"Yes, and in all that time, just look how much you've accomplished. All the three powers have done here is to squabble amongst yourselves while the people suffer. You'll find no sympathy from me. We're sending you home, with your tails between your legs, where they belong. It's up to you to explain to your superiors why it took the intervention of a rogue ship and crew to correct your failure."

"You're going to regret this, Picard." Lederer told him. "I'll make sure of that."

"We shall see. Meanwhile, I require your cooperation. I prefer no one be killed or injured, so I suggest each of you order your men to stand down. Your planetary defenses have been circumvented and we have our ship's phasers at the ready. There's really no point in offering resistance. Unless, of course, you prefer to take home your troops in body bags."

Lederer blanched at Picard's threat. After a moment, he answered. "I will order them to stand down. We shall deal with you another day."

"Wise choice."

Picard turned to the Romulan. "General Lutok, do you also agree to call off your troops?"

Lutok smiled. "You know very well that this place has no strategic value, and is hardly worth dying for. I petitioned to remove the Romulan empire from this Triumvirate long ago. We are happy to leave this cursed planet. I don't care what you do with it. But I must tell you it brings me immense pleasure to know that the great Captain Picard will pay a heavy price for the taking of something so worthless."

Picard turned last to the Klingon, knowing his cooperation would be the hardest to obtain. He hoped that the submission of the previous two would influence him, but he didn't expect it.

"So, Peroktahg, do you agree there is nothing here worth fighting for? Will you order your men to stand down?"

Picard nodded to Chorack to finally remove the gag so that he could speak. Once freed, the Klingon spat on the ground at Picard's feet.

"Honor is always worth fighting for. You have dishonored me and my men by your actions this day. We will fight."

Picard sighed and turned to Data. "You have all the Klingon troops targeted, Mr. Data?"

"Affirmative."

"Very well. Phasers on full. Take them out."

"All of them, sir?"

"Yes, of course. All of them."

"Wait!" Peroktahg yelled.

"Hold fire."

Peroktahg stared at him, his face filled with rage. "You would annihilate them without warning? You have no honor."

"Perhaps not. What I do have is the desire for expediency and the power to accomplish it. It's up to you, of course. You can order them to stand down, or I can eliminate them. Your choice."

"You will take no prisoners," he demanded.

"We don't want any. You will be allowed to withdraw in peace."

Peroktahg glowered darkly and Picard could see that it pained him to back down, but he was forcing himself to do it. "You leave me no choice. We will withdraw."

"Very good. My men will accompany you to make sure that you do. My ship is monitoring everything on the ground and will take immediate action should there be any attempt to harm a member of my crew. I expect all of you to depart as soon as possible. Any delay will be dealt with harshly. I hope I've made myself clear."

Each of the three nodded in understanding and found themselves shadowed by one of Chorack's men as they departed.

Picard smiled at the sight of their backsides. When they were gone, he turned to Data and Shea.

"Nice bluff," she said. "Remind me not to play poker with you."

"Who says I was bluffing?"

She smiled, knowing better.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Picard pushed his people to move quickly. The first thing addressed was bringing the planet's defensive weapons up to par. Scotty proved invaluable, complaining how every deadline Picard gave him was completely unreasonable and then beating it by a wide margin. Within two days, the system was up and working. Picard breathed a sigh of relief. He was quite certain they would have company soon. Ship remained cloaked and undetectable, but his people on the ground would be sitting ducks without a state of the art planetary defense system in place. Anyone arriving now, would think twice before trying to breach it.

Meanwhile, Dr. Bashir acted as his liaison with the sector representatives, explaining the new situation and the opportunities being offered to them. The reaction was skepticism initially, but as they witnessed the hard work of Picard's crew to upgrade their defense system, followed by the delivery of sophisticated mining equipment, attitudes changed. They were soon eagerly bombarding Scotty and Data with questions on how to operate everything that arrived on site. Ship was also busy manufacturing data-loaded computers for their immediate reference and education of their young, along with comfort items like soft bedding, blankets, towels, imported food and clothing they could not normally afford to purchase. There were a great deal of hand-pumping, back-slapping and heartfelt thank-you's going around. Standing in the old government conference room planet side, Picard watched the activity below with a sense of satisfaction. They were definitely doing a good thing here and making a significant difference in the lives of these people.

Data approached and stood next to him to look at the view below. "Are you satisfied with the performance of your crew and ship, Captain?"

Picard nodded and smiled. "I am. Very."

Data then turned toward him. "If you recall, Captain, you also gave me another assignment, one unrelated to the reformation of Nimbus III."

"Yes, I did. Do you some results on that?"

"Affirmative. I must warn you. My findings are most disturbing."

"Tell me."

"The time-space distortions affecting Shea are extremely brief, less than point zero one nanoseconds and were thus difficult to pinpoint initially, but I finally discovered a detectable radiation pattern that allows me to record their frequency."

"So you detected this occurring within this last week?"

"Affirmative."

"How many times?"

"Daily, sir."

The answer took his breath away. This was happening every day. And he had no idea how to help her.

Picard's comlink buzzed startling him. Ship's voice followed. "My Captain. As you expected, we have company. A Federation ship has entered orbit."

"Can you identify it?'

"Yes, my Captain. It is the Enterprise."

Picard sighed deeply. "Thank you, Ship." He wasn't surprised, but it saddened him nonetheless.

The control board in the conference room flashed at them.

"Captain, we are being hailed," Data reported.

"The Enterprise, no doubt."

"Yes sir."

"Put it on screen."

In a moment the display screen on the conference wall revealed the face of Captain Will Riker. He wasn't smiling. "Hello, Captain."

"Will."

"Didn't take long for Shea to get you into trouble, I see."

Picard smiled. "No, it didn't."

"Are you enjoying this? Because I'm not. My orders are to arrest you and take you back to Earth."

Picard nodded. "I'm sorry to hear that. You'll understand if I decide not to cooperate."

Riker shook his head. He looked angry and upset. "You had to know they'd send someone after you."

"Yes, I knew. We all knew and we all agreed. We refuse to operate under Federation rules, or anyone else's. We're in charge of ourselves, and we don't recognize your authority over us. Unfortunately, there will be times, such as this, where our goals and the Federation's may not exactly coincide. I'm sorry for your involvement. I don't want us to be adversaries. I'm hoping that you will recognize the good we've done here and be willing to overlook the details on how it was accomplished."

"The details? You orchestrated a military coup of a Federation outpost."

"A triumvirate outpost, and a very poorly run one at that, overlooked and neglected for centuries. No one cared a whit about this place, except to hang onto it unmercifully. I won't apologize. This needed to be done a long time ago."

"Maybe so, but it's not for me or you to judge. You're welcome to make your argument in court."

"I've made my argument here. And that's as far as I intend to go."

"You're putting me in an untenable position. What would you do if you were in my shoes?"

"I'd try very hard to catch me. Good luck." Picard waved Data to cut off communications.

"How much longer before the locals are ready to take over the mining equipment and operate the shields without our assistance?"

"I believe they are basically ready now. I was hoping to spend another day or two supervising the transition, but I do not consider it to be absolutely necessary."

"In that case, I believe a hasty retreat is in order. I'll have Ship phase through the shields to our side. They'll protect Ship when it has to decloak for our transport aboard. Assemble the away team. We've run out of time."

Ship activated its illegal phased cloaking device and moved through the planetary shields at his command. No doubt the move would be detected by the Enterprise as a time-space contortion. Now the Federation would have another charge to levy against him, Picard thought to himself. With Ship in position and decloaked, his people transported aboard.

"We are being hailed, my Captain," Ship reported.

"As expected. They can see us now. On screen."

Once again, Will Riker was facing him. "You're using a phased cloaking device, aren't you?"

"Ship has many talents," Picard replied.

Riker opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted and turned aside. He gestured and the on screen view widened to include Counselor Troi in the chair beside him.

"Captain, your actions are very disturbing. You no longer seem to be exercising good judgment."

"Hello, Counselor. As always, I appreciate your concern for my emotional well-being, but I no longer feel the need to convince you of it and will not try to." He smiled at her. "It is good to see you, however."

She nodded. "I understand Data is with you. May I see him?"

"Of course." He looked to Data who adjusted the transmitted image to include himself.

"Hello, Counselor."

She smiled in response. "Data, I was so happy to learn you survived."

"Thank you, Counselor."

"But I was sad to learn that you've chosen to remain there with.. with her."

"Shea saved my life."

"So you stay out of gratitude."

"I stay out of friendship. Shea makes me feel wanted and accepted. I enjoy her company."

"You have many friends here as well, who want your company and accept you."

"I appreciate your saying that. But it is not the same as what I experience here."

"Well," Picard interrupted their reunion, "it seems we've come to a parting of the ways. You have the lives you've chosen, and we have ours."

"I have my orders, Jean-Luc. I will have to carry them out." Riker told him.

"Understood."

"We can detect your ship when it phases," Riker warned him. "Don't make me fire on you."

Picard motioned to cut off the sound. "Ship, can you get through those shields again without the Enterprise detecting your position?"

"Uncertain. I can try altering my modulation frequency. It may screen the distortion."

Picard looked at Shea. "Any ideas?"

"Speed," she replied. "A simultaneous phase and jump to warp. They'll see us, but we'll move so fast, they won't get a chance to fire."

"Ship? Can you do that?"

"Yes, but it's very difficult. It may cause minor injury. Bleton won't like it."

"He'll like it less if you get hit by a photon torpedo. Prepare yourself for a phased jump to warp speed upon my command."

"Yes, my Captain."

"Data, alert Scotty and the Ketlons of our intention."

"And Ship, while you're waiting, would you do that thing that I asked you to do?" Shea asked.

"Yes, sweet Shea."

Picard looked at her. "What was that about?"

"A distraction. You know how valuable they can be."

Picard noticed that Riker was gesturing at him. "Sound." he ordered.

"You have really gone over the edge, Jean-Luc. The Jolly Roger? Now you're displaying the flag of a pirate on the side of your ship? Unbelievable! If I had any inclination to listen to your arguments before, they're gone now. Now that I understand the mentality of the man I am dealing with here."

As Riker continued his rant, Picard gave the command quietly. "Now, Ship."

Ship's engines powered up instantly and they lurched forward. Then suddenly the engines cut off. They were dead in the water, on the wrong side of the planet's shields, directly in the path of the Enterprise.

Riker stopped talking and rose to his feet. "I suggest you surrender."

Shea rose as well. "That shouldn't have happened. Ship? Are you all right?"

"I am frozen, unable to move. I don't know why. I am frightened."

"Ooops, sorry. My fault." Q said from beside the Captain. "I was just so caught up in the melodrama of all this, I couldn't bear to see you jump away. You on one side, the Enterprise on the other. It's so perfect."

"It is rather exciting," Vash agreed standing on the other side of Picard now. "I didn't know you had it in you to be such a rebel, Jean-Luc. It's very sexy."

"What's going on over there?" Riker demanded from the screen.

Picard backed away to stand next to Shea. "What is it you hope to accomplish by interfering, Q?" he asked. "As it is now, we either have to surrender or be fired upon."

"Oh don't worry about them," Q said dismissively. "They're as frozen as you are."

Picard saw Riker sit back down in his Captain's chair and knew it was true.

"So now you're on opposite sides," Q observed. "Is this what you planned?"

Picard frowned. "It was a risk I took to accomplish something I thought important. If you'd let us do as we had intended we would have been long gone."

"True, but the conflict would have remained. Friendships would have been compromised. Is that an acceptable outcome? Is this the example you want to set?"

"I believe time would have healed the rift between us. As the results of our intervention come to fruition, we would be absolved by the Federation."

"Yes, probably… eventually. But I wonder if we could speed things up a bit. Put you on the same side again now." Q tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Perhaps in a whole new venue. Somewhere that relies less on science and more on faith. Less on technology and more on inner strength. Where the only way to survive is by working together. And I think I know just the place."

Shea shook her head, "Don't do it, Q. He won't like it."

Q smiled. "We'll just see about that." He snapped his fingers. Q and Vash were nowhere to be seen.

For a moment, it seemed as if nothing had changed.

"We are losing power in Ship's propulsion system," Data announced, his fingers flying across the controls. "I am also unable to pinpoint our location. The source of our power drain appears to be coming from somewhere on the planet below."

"On screen."

A world of blue with green and brown continents came into view. Shea stood there staring at it, her hand over her mouth.

"That's not Risa," Picard said.

"Affirmative," Data replied. "However it is a Class M world."

"Populated?"

"Yes, extensively."

"Can you detect the location where that power drain is coming from?

"Negative. There are no indications of any advanced civilization or power sources. It is as if the drain is coming from the planet itself."

"And the Enterprise?" Picard asked.

"In orbit with us."

"Hail them."

Riker appeared on screen again. "Still here. Wherever here is. Why don't you just transport over now, so we can all leave."

"We don't even know where we are and you're still trying to arrest me?"

"I have my orders."

Picard shook his head. "I used to be like you. Following orders, sometimes despite my better judgment. Right now, I suggest you dispense with your orders and work with us to protect both our ships. We're losing power. I suspect you are as well."

Riker hesitated, as if trying to determine how much information to divulge. Finally, he answered, "We're down 20 percent."

"Data thinks it's coming from the planet itself."

Riker nodded. "We concur."

"We need to distance ourselves from this planet immediately."

"Agreed, but I demand that you surrender and come on board first. If you refuse and try to cloak or power up for a jump, we will fire upon your vessel."

Picard nodded reluctantly, seeing he had no option. "Very well, I will surrender myself and transport aboard but only on the condition that you assist my ship and crew to return home safely."

"Agreed."

"No," Shea said, finally coming out of her daze. "Ship, raise natural shields only,"

Picard turned to her angrily. "I have already agreed."

"You've left me no choice," Riker told them. He turned aside, "Target their shields. Fire when ready."

"Don't!" Shea told him. "You need to listen."

Phaser fire hit Ship's defensive shields. She shook her head and sighed.

"Shields holding 100 percent," Data reported, sounding puzzled. "No degradation."

"How are you doing over there, Will?" Shea asked.

Riker's image remained, but they had cut off the sound and seemed to be conferring.

"Will," Shea called to him again. "I'm betting you've just suffered a significant loss in power. Probably close to fifty percent. We're running out of time here. Talk to me, Will."

"What's going on?" Picard demanded of her.

"I've been here before," she told them both, "We are going to crash on that planet. It's only a question of when and where. I'd like to put it off as long as possible, but to do that we must conserve power. Firing phasers is a very bad idea. So is transporting and engaging the engines. We're in this world's field of influence now and there's no escaping it."

Picard turned to Riker's image on screen. "Did you hear what Shea said?"

Riker nodded. "I'm not sure I believe her, but we did experience a sudden reduction in power. We're running an analysis on the pattern of depletion."

"You'll see that it happens every time you activate a power source," she said. "The planet will drain your energy away in equal proportion."

"Why are our shield's holding then?" Picard asked.

"Because I told Ship to use only it's natural shields. They're organic."

"What do you know about this world?" Riker demanded.

"Pre-industrial, apparently permanently so."

"Can you map where we are?" Picard asked.

She shook her head. "I was summarily deposited here and later removed, much like we just experienced. I think we're in a different universe altogether. The time I lived here did not match up with the time I was gone. It was approximately twenty to one."

"How long has it been since you were here?"

"About ten years, give or take."

"That would equate to approximately two hundred years on this planet - give or take," Data said.

"Much could have changed in that time," Picard commented.

"Socially perhaps, but not industrially. The planet makes sure of that," Shea replied.

"Our orbit is decaying," Data reported. "At current rate, I estimate we will enter the planet's atmosphere in approximately 26 minutes 32.5 seconds."

"We're experiencing the same rate of decline," Riker told them. "Our computer analysis of the power drain supports Shea's theory. We can't reach escape velocity."

"We need to get ready while our replicators still work." Shea told them. "I'm giving Ship instructions now on supplies we'll need and will have Ship communicate those directly to your computer. Concentrate first on food, water and weapons. That's a war based society down there. Forget about phasers, or anything else that requires a non-organic power source. They won't work."

Ship's disembodied voice addressed them a moment later. "I have communicated your instructions to the Enterprise and am working on the replications. However, Bleton is very concerned for my welfare. My power is diminishing and I cannot maintain orbit. Am I going to die?"

"No, Ship, we won't let that happen," Shea replied. "But we will have to land."

"I cannot survive planet-side. My weight will crush me."

"Not if you're supported by water. I want you to land in the ocean."

"I will not be crushed. It is a good plan. I will adapt."

"I'm hoping we all will."

"My power source is non-organic," Data said. "Will I adapt?"

"I don't think so, Data. I'm sorry." Shea put her hand on his shoulder. "Are you feeling any ill effects yet?"

He shook his head. "Not as yet."

"The Enterprise is non-organic as well," Riker said. "What's going to happen when we enter the atmosphere?"

"Complete loss of power. Everything will go off line," Shea answered.

"No helm control at all then." Riker sat down heavily and leaned his forehead onto his hand.

"Will, this isn't your fault," Deanna said to him.

"This will be the second Enterprise lost with me in the Captain's chair. And this time, I don't see how any of us are going to walk away. We'll fall like a tumbling rock."

"Don't give up yet," Picard said. "Perhaps Ship can get you down in one piece."

Shea looked at Picard skeptically and lowered her voice to a whisper. "That's asking a lot. Ship is about to lose all its technology and return to its natural unenhanced state. You won't even be able to communicate with her."

Data looked at Shea curiously. "I have never -" Shea held her finger to her lips in warning and he lowered his voice to a whisper. "I have never heard you refer to Ship as 'female' before."

"Unenhanced, Ship is biologically female and about as intelligent as a monkey," she whispered back.

"What is wrong? Why are you whispering?" Ship asked.

"I was just explaining that we will have to rely on other ways to communicate with you, once the telecommunication links are no longer operable."

"Oh,yes. That will be a problem. But you and I will still be able to communicate telepathically."

"Um, yes, we will." She wobbled her flattened palm to Picard indicating it wouldn't be all that reliable.

"Is there another problem?" Ship inquired.

"Not yet," Picard replied. "How are you doing on manufacturing those supplies for us?"

"In progress," Ship said, "For each member of the crew I have replicated a tritanium bladed sword and knife, a medical kit, ten days food and water supply, rope, one shovel, one ax, fifty fire-starters, one sleeping bag and backpack. I am now replicating attire appropriate to the environment and culture as Shea mentally envisioned to me."

"Will, did you get that same information on supplies?" Picard asked.

"We have it and are working on it. Bit more of a challenge over here with over 1800 people to account for. But if we can't land in one piece…"

"You let us worry about that," Picard told him.

"Food and water first," Shea reminded him, "and a sword for anyone who can wield one. And boots, make sure everyone has good boots. The remainder are luxury items at this point."

"You just figure out a way to get us down there and we'll worry about what were bringing to this party of yours." Riker told her.

"No problem," Shea told him, but she herself was very worried. "How much time do we have, Data?"

"Eleven minutes, forty-three seconds until we enter the atmosphere."

"I better go down to Engineering and work with Scotty and Bleton," Shea said. Picard nodded permission and she left.

They were now at the three minute mark. Data continued monitoring Ship's trajectory to make sure they would enter the atmosphere at a shallowest angle possible to offer the least resistance and heat build-up, yet still target for a landing in open water. Fortunately, this world contained a very large ocean. The Enterprise remained right behind them, following at a minimally safe distance.

"How are we doing, Data?" Picard asked.

"We still have helm control, Captain. Entering the atmosphere in one minute, 21 seconds." Data began counting down at the one minute mark. His hands flew across the control panel as he continued counting the seconds off. "… five, four, three, two, one."

And the lights went out.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Picard could still see the world below through the viewing window. Enough reflected sunlight streamed in to allow him to see that Data now lay slumped over the darkened control panel. Riker's image was gone from the screen. He tapped his comlink. It didn't respond. The silence of Ship's engines made his ears ache for their low familiar humming. He stood alone on a dead bridge.

_Shea?_ he reached out in his mind.

_Can't talk. Busy._

He looked out the other window and could see the Enterprise. It looked to be falling away from them at an alarming rate. He was useless here, he decided and headed for Engineering. The turbolift didn't work, so he took the emergency escape ladders down between decks, feeling his way along in the dark. Sunlight through the portals revealed Chorack and his men in the main assembly room dragging backpacks and making a pile of them. Swords and pistols were stacked along the wall. Dr. Bashir was there as well, counting medical kits. One more level and he dropped into the darkened Engineering room. He expected a bustle of activity, but all was quiet. Scotty stood off to the side, his arms crossed in front of him. Picard walked up to him, "Mr. Scott, status report."

Scotty turned to him. "Captain, I think you can see for yourself. We've zero power. The anti-matter's gone. The nacells are nothing but empty shells. We're in the belly of a starwhale plummeting to earth. That's our status."

"Where is Shea?"

Scotty tipped his chin, "Over there on the floor, trying to communicate with Ship, who apparently has become as dim as the light in here."

Picard moved closer to the center of the room until he could make out the shadowy shape of Shea sitting with her palms pressed to the bare floor.

"Shea, can you talk to me?"

She shook her head no.

"Is it all right if I talk to you?"

She nodded yes.

"The Enterprise has entered the atmosphere and is falling away from us. If Ship can help them, it must do so quickly. They have no shields. They'll burn up."

Ship moaned and lurched to the side, throwing Picard to the floor. He wanted to demand information, but realized Shea couldn't talk to him. He picked himself up and moved to a portal. The Enterprise was still in view, its hull glowing red. "Damn it," he cursed to himself. "For God's sake, Q, don't let them die like this." But there was no answer from Q and no magnanimous rescue.

Ship lurched again and dropped lower toward the Enterprise. Tendrils streamed out from Ship's belly and wrapped around the Enterprise, pulling it close and leveling it out to match their own path. The red glow of the hull began to fade to its normal silver tone. Picard turned to see Shea looking at him now. "Is this your doing?" he asked.

"I convinced Ship that the Enterprise is her baby. She's grabbed on and extended her shields to protect it and she's not about to let go. Now the question is, does she have the strength to get us both into the water safely. There's nothing more I can do now. She's operating on pure instinct."

Picard looked out the portal again. The world below was rushing up fast, continents coming into view. He could see mountain ranges, deep valleys, and lakes. As they descended, whole cities came into focus with roads connecting them to villages beyond. The ground seemed to be flying up to meet them and he saw wagons now pulled by of animals. They weren't going to make it to water, he feared. Then the dark earth changed to sand and blue waves. He saw small boats along the shoreline below, then a large vessel with white sails they skimmed over.

"We're over water!" he called out. "Brace for impact." He slid down against the wall, but found nothing to grab onto. Then tendrils from the floor spewed up and around him tying him down firmly. Suddenly he felt the blow as they hit. Ship plowed downward, and groaned mightily in a plaintive tone and then he felt the ship roll and pitch upwards to come down again. The tendrils released him and he jumped up to look through the portal again. He could see waves crashing against the hull rocking them mightily. He could not tell if the Enterprise was with them or not.

Shea was still sitting on the floor. Trying to brace himself against the rolling, he went to her. "Are you injured?"

"No, just trying to assess the damage. Ship's hurting."

Suddenly they were surrounded by blinking Ketlons, who looked none too happy. Bleton, whom Picard could identify by his slightly superior height to the others, blinked very slowly and deliberately at him. Picard had the distinct impression that he was being scolded. The Ketlons moved away and began working to detach equipment, and remove panels from the walls. When they pulled one out, the wall bled a bit.

"What are they doing, Mr. Scott?" Picard asked.

"Ship's organic now. These dead machines are just an irritant, best removed." Scotty replied and went to assist them.

Shea stood and joined Picard. "The Ketlons will help Ship heal. We're lucky the damage is fairly minor."

"And the Enterprise?"

"Ship's still got her baby," Shea smiled. "They made it. Not sure what kind of shape they're in though."

"We have no way to communicate," Picard said, then he looked at Shea, "but maybe you do. Can you reach Counselor Troi telepathically?"

"Oh she'd love that," Shea said, shaking head at the idea. "You know how she feels about me. If she senses me trying to push into her head, she'll fight like hell."

"Maybe not if I'm in your mind as well. We need to know what's going on. Put your animosities aside."

"Hey I like her just fine, she's the one with the problem."

"For good reason. Now stop making excuses and try to establish a link among the three of us."

"Okay," Shea said skeptically. She opened her mind to Picard and his awareness fell in with hers.

A vision of Deanna's face rose in their combined thoughts and he felt them reaching for her together, searching and calling. They found her, but were pushed back by a wave of fear and anger. _See! _ Shea told him. Picard pushed himself to the forefront and called to Deanna again. Shea's thoughts lingered behind him like a shadow in a long tunnel she had opened between Deanna and himself.

_Captain? _ Deanna responded. _How are you doing this? I'm not a telepath and neither are you._

_Shea is with me, facilitating our connection. Please tell us your status and how we can help._

_We hit pretty hard. There are a number injured, but it looks like we've all survived. Your vessel is still keeping us afloat. We have sixty life rafts in the water already and are working to load and launch the rest as quickly as possible. All personnel have been issued a survival kit, floatation devices and oxygen breathers if they end up in the water._

_Well done. Tell Riker he deserves to sit in that chair._

_ I already have._

_We're working on repairs over here. I'll let you know when were ready to come for you. _

Picard pulled back mentally and was once again aware of his surroundings.

"Well?" Shea asked.

"Weren't you listening?"

"I thought it better if I stayed out of the way."

"They're abandoning ship. Launching life rafts. We'll have to rescue them."

"You're talking about taking on eighteen hundred people," Scotty said from behind him. "Ship's not that big inside, and wouldn't be able to provide necessary life support to all of them even with tech enhancement which she no longer has. You're asking the impossible, Captain."

"Impossible as she's built now," Shea agreed.

"You have something in mind?" Picard asked.

"She's a shapeshifter. She can adapt to our needs. You did always want to captain a sailing vessel, didn't you?"

She sat back down on the floor and pressed her hands against Ship's exposed flesh. "Hang on everyone. This should be rather dramatic," she said. And she began sending pictures in her mind to Ship who saw the shapes, recognized her need and responded accordingly.

High tech equipment popped loose and fell to the floor as the walls stretched and reshaped themselves. The Ketlons scurried about spraying sealant on any spot that bled. Wherever equipment began to pile up, openings appeared to let it drop through. Ship was expelling anything it couldn't use, Picard realized. The wide round room narrowed and extended. He wondered what was happening on the Bridge, three decks above, where he had left Data's inanimate body. Suddenly he smelled the ocean. They must be open to the air now.

"I'm going up," he announced and moved toward the ladder he'd come down, fighting to find his sealegs as Ship pitched beneath him. The shape of the ladder had changed from narrow vertical rungs to inclined steps with handrails. He ran up to the next level where he found Chorack and his men, staring about as Ship changed shape before their eyes.

"Captain." Chorack called to him. "What is happening?"

"Ship's adapting, turning into a seagoing vessel. Shea is below guiding the transformation. We have to take on the Enterprise crew. They're already in the water. Where is Dr. Bashir?"

"Here, Captain," he replied poking his head out from an interior door. "I was taking inventory when we went down."

"Gather your team, and anyone else you can find, then follow us up. We need to get topside."

Picard led the way and the Klingons followed him up the next set of steps. They passed through multi-leveled sleeping quarters, a galley and long tables as they rose from the floors and took shape. Round portals lined the walls. Picard thought he glimpsed something yellow in the water, a raft he thought, but he didn't pause to look closer. He ran up the last steps with the Klingons on his heels. Sunlight and salt laden air hit him along with the sound of the waves crashing against Ship's hull. Ship had stretched into a huge black vessel with four masts shooting up from its open deck, bare of sails. He rushed to the railing and spotted dozens of rafts in the waters below. He looked about spotting black ropes coiled along the rails and rope ladders hanging down the outer sides. People in the rafts were rowing hard through the rough sea trying to reach them. There were so many, Picard noted, with a sense of desperation.

"Help them on board," he told Chorack and his men, who grabbed ropes and began slinging them toward the nearest rafts and pulling them in.

Picard moved toward the pitching stern and saw the Enterprise tilted steeply behind them but still afloat, wrapped in Ship's long black tendrils. More rafts appeared from the Enterprise, laden with passengers, then moved away to be replaced by still more. Water based abandon-ship exercises were practiced in holodeks as a theoretical possibility, but he'd never heard of one actually happening. He knew Riker and Troi would be on the very last raft to leave. He prayed Ship could keep them afloat long enough to complete the evacuation.

Dr. Bashir and his medical team arrived on scene, followed by crew members from the Science and Operations departments. They worked together with the Klingon security team helping the people climbing up the ropes to pull themselves over the railing and onto the deck. Picard ran back to the railing and began helping as well, offering words of encouragement and praise as more and more people climbed aboard. Most of the faces he recognized and they called him Captain and thanked him. These were his people. He felt as if he were rescuing members of his own family. And they kept on coming. Hundreds of them. As the deck filled, he encouraged them to go below, where they would be safe, and to make room for others still coming on board. His arms began to ache as he kept pulling them up, one after the other, officers, civilians, children. And through it all, Ship was changing, stretching, sinking lower into the water as her burden increased. After everything Ship had been through, he hoped she had the strength to accommodate them all. Suddenly, ship rocked hard, listing to the side and the black tendrils wrapped around the Enterprise snapped free. Picard watched in horror as the great ship slipped beneath the waves and vanished from sight.

"Hey, how about a hand here?"

Picard turned back to see Riker reaching for him. "Will! Thank God!" he grabbed Riker's arm and hand and pulled him up the last few feet to the railing. "Every one's out then?"

"Yes," Deanna replied, appearing on his right as Dr. Bashir assisted her over the railing. "We all got out in time."

Picard felt lost for words in the moment, wanting to hug them in relief that they were alive and to tell them how sorry he was that he'd gotten them into this mess.

"You can apologize later, Captain," Deanna said showing no emotion. "Let's concentrate on taking care of everyone now."

He nodded and let his inner torment recede in favor of addressing their immediate needs. "Our ship is still adapting, but I think we'll be able to accommodate all of you. There are decks below already set up with places to rest and recover. It's hard to direct you as yet, because Ship is taking on a new configuration as we speak. We'll have to figure this out as we go."

"Fine. I'll start leading them into the lower decks and try to determine how best to proceed," Deanna replied frostily and moved away. Even a non-empath like Picard could feel her cold disapproval. He turned to face Riker, who still looked mad as hell.

"You have a plan, Captain?" he asked.

Picard shook his head. "Can't say that I do. This isn't something I anticipated."

"I don't know why not. You chose to align yourself with one of the most disruptive, unpredictable life forms we've ever encountered. This should be just par for the course."

Picard frowned at him. "I don't need to defend my actions to you. It was your choice to come after us."

"I had no choice and you know it. You broke Federation law."

"Hey, you two," Shea interrupted. "Give it a rest."

"This is your fault," Riker told her.

"I'm sure it is. So stop quarrelling with Captain Picard. He was your best man, remember?"

"How is Ship doing?" Picard asked her.

"Well enough, healing quickly, and following the design specs I pictured for her pretty accurately it looks like. Think we'll have quite a vessel here. Did you notice the flag?"

Picard and Riker looked up to the top of the tallest of the center masts. A huge black and white flag waved in the stiff breeze showing a grinning skull above crossed swords.

"Very funny," Riker said, not smiling.

"I thought so," she replied.

"No sails?" Picard asked.

"Don't need them. Ship can propel herself. And without them, we look like a ghost ship, a huge black as night ghost ship. Should scare the pants off anyone who sees us. I don't think any real pirates will want to get too close."

"There are real pirates around here?" Riker asked.

"Oh yes. But they don't fly the Jolly Rodger or any other identifying symbol. They try to blend in and sneak up on you in the middle of the night to cut your throats while you're sleeping. Not the least bit romantic."

Picard shielded his eyes with his hand and looked off into the distance scanning the horizon. He saw nothing but open water. "Any idea where we are?"

"From what I could see through your eyes when we came down, we traveled east over mountains, desert and farmlands then landed in the sea. That city you saw looked familiar, though I think it's grown bigger than I seem to remember."

"What are the inhabitants like?"

She frowned. "Not sure. My memory's a bit fuzzy. It's coming back to me in bits and pieces."

"Then what do you remember?"

"This. Being at sea. I remember a ship. Much smaller, of course. A hundred men I think, no more." She looked up at the naked masts. "We had sails, big square rigged ones, white and red."

"Not very helpful."

"I suppose not. But I do remember the sun rises in the west and sinks in the east, so the nearest land should be west of us." She looked at the position of the sun and the shadows across the deck, then pointed behind them. "That way."

"Well, we're not going to be very comfortable in these cramped quarters, and we only have provisions for a week. We'd better find land soon. Have Ship come about."

Shea nodded and placed her hands on the nearest mast, and closed her eyes. In a few moments, Ship leaned to the port side to make the one hundred and eighty degree turn required to head them back the way they had come. It took considerable time and room to move her mass in a half circle. Picard watched the wide wake marking their path. "Is there a steering wheel on this ship of ours?"

Shea pointed up to the open quarter deck above the stern. "Your new bridge, Captain."

Wide steps led to it on either side. Picard chose the ones closest and went up to see what Ship had created out of her own flesh. He found an old fashioned ship's wheel overlooking the main deck below and the bow beyond. He moved behind it and took hold of the rocking wheel, steadying it. Ship moaned and the deck creaked beneath his feet in answer.

"So I can steer her without your telepathic assistance then," he noted aloud to Shea when she came to stand next to him.

"Yes, just as you would any sailing vessel, except you're not limited by the wind direction."

"How is she moving herself? I can't see any means of propulsion."

"Her keel is a gigantic fin, undulating beneath us. The wheel here directs her tail, much like a standard rudder. And since she's self-aware, once you set course, Ship will maintain it until you change it, or she determines something dangerous lies in her path."

"She can see then?"

"Some of the portals are actually eyes."

"So we're equipped with automatic pilot." He smiled at the thought.

"Pretty much."

"Damned fortunate for us that we had a living ship. We'd all be dead otherwise." He paused to look at her. "It was luck, wasn't it? Not something you planned?"

"Let's go with luck," she said.

He released the wheel and it remained locked in place. Riker trotted up the steps and looked about.

"Certainly simplifies things, doesn't it?" he commented. "I seem to recall your once saying that you envied those who sailed in ships like this."

"Hmmm… I did, didn't I. Seemed a lot more intriguing in the safety of the holodek, however."

"Captain!" A deep voice called from below. Riker and Picard both looked to the source. Commander Worf looked up at them.

"I think he means you," PIcard said.

"Yes, Commander," Riker answered.

Worf looked from one to the other as if he did not know whom to address. "We've spotted a vessel off the port bow."

Picard turned to Shea. "See if you can identify it."

She nodded and vaulted off the upper deck to land next to Worf and took off running to the far mast. She climbed half-way up and peered ahead. In a moment, she shimmied down again and ran back up the steps at the stern to report to Picard and Riker.

"Looks like a merchant ship. Might be a good source of information," she said.

"Let's go say hello." Picard smiled and turned the wheel. "Feels like we're doing about six or seven knots. How fast do you think that merchant ship can go?"

"Eight or so, maybe as much as ten under full sail with the wind at her back."

"Can we increase our speed?" Riker asked.

"Think of the wheel as your control panel," she told them. "Push forward to speed up, pull back to slow, slap your palm in the center for all stop."

Picard pressed on the wheel and it tilted forward. He felt Ship respond and cut through the waves at a faster pace. He pulled back experimentally and she seemed to slow again. "So if I push her she'll work harder, and if I let up, she'll relax and slow down." He laughed. "Just like any other crewman." With one very notable exception he thought and his smile faded. "Shea, if this is the Bridge, where is Data? I left him at his station."

"Ship has him, safe inside."

"Is there nothing we can do for him?"

"Not that I can think of at the moment."

Picard frowned sadly. "I wish he were here. We could use his help."

"I know," she agreed. "I miss him too."

He pushed the wheel forward again feeling Ship move ahead. Their speed increased gradually at first then picked up faster and faster until they were slicing through the waves smoothly. He had sight of the merchant ship now, which had turned tail and appeared to be making a run for it.

"Looks like they're frightened of us," Riker noted.

"Of course, they are," Shea said. "We're probably ten times the size of anything they've ever seen on water, as strange a looking ship as they could imagine, and flying at them at an impossible speed with no sails in sight. In their view, we're a monster."

"I wish we could reassure them," Picard said. "Let them know we mean no harm. All we want is information."

"And what better source to obtain it from than someone who is scared to death of you," Shea replied.

He shook his head at her. "A little kindness goes a long way. Please keep that in mind."

"Fine. But you should keep in mind that there is one thing about this world I remember clearly. It is not a kind place."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The merchant ship lay a mere thirty meters ahead of them now, still trying to escape.

"Looks like they're getting ready for a fight," Riker commented.

Picard could see figures on board, rushing about. Voices yelling commands could be heard across the water.

"Don't let them get broadside of us," Shea warned. "They'll try to board us and we'd have a fight on our hands here. Let's take it to them."

Picard nodded, "I'll keep our bow to their stern. They'll find no purchase there. But how do you intend to reach them?"

"Just extend Ship's tendrils and have her grab hold. Then we'll cross over."

Picard gave her a disparaging look.

"Sorry," she said. "Slide your hand across the face of the wheel, treating it like a map of the sea around us. When her tendrils are in position, dig in your fingers and she'll ensnare whatever is there. Got it?"

He nodded. "Get into position," he ordered and she vaulted over the deck again and ran to join Chorack and his men, who stood at the ready, swords in hand. They paused for a moment, turning In Worf's direction when he joined them, then together, the nine of them moved out onto the Bowsprit.

"Well, if they didn't think we were a monster before, they will now," he told Riker, who frowned and shook his head in response. Picard moved the palm of his hand up from the center of the wheel. Ship's black octopus like tendrils spewed forth and flew across the aft of the merchant ship. He dug in his fingers and the tendrils wrapped around the other ship's rails. Shea and the Klingons jumped onto Ship's extended arms, and ran down to the ship below, now pulled in close enough that Ship's bow hid it from Picard's view. He set the wheel and turned to Riker.

"Coming or staying?" he asked.

"You're still my prisoner, remember? I'm not letting you out of my sight."

Picard smiled and headed for the bow. He and Riker moved out to the furthest point on the Bowsprit so that they could look down at the deck of the Merchant Ship. The sight wasn't one either of them had expected. It appeared that the entire crew had dropped to their knees and placed their hands and foreheads to the deck prostrating themselves at the feet of their invaders. Shea looked back up at him and shrugged.

"Guess that's what scared to death looks like on this world," Riker said.

Picard circled his arm at Shea to hurry this up. He didn't like the effect they were having on these people. Shea turned away and pulled one of the prostrated men to his feet and seemed to be questioning him. He kept trying to get back on his knees, but she held him up as she spoke to him until he nodded and pointed at a fellow crewmate. As soon as she let go, he threw himself facedown again. She moved to the man he had pointed to and pulled him up to speak to him. When she let go, he ran and disappeared below deck. She crossed her arms and waited. The man soon reappeared carrying a rolled up parchment. When she took it from his extended hand, he dropped to his knees and face again. She turned away and ran back up Ship's long extended arms.

"What happened over there?" Riker asked she climbed over the railing.

"They simply fell to their knees when we approached. Obviously, they have never seen a Klingon before."

Shea handed over the parchment to Picard. "This should help."

He half unrolled it. "A map! Well done." He looked back at the Merchant Ship below. The crew remained prostrate. "Shea, tell Ship to release them. Now."

"Wait. They also have silk and whisky - good for trading."

"You're not suggesting we steal their cargo, are you?"

"Um…" she noted the stern look of disapproval on his face. "Just making an observation."

"Release them," he repeated.

"You know, you make a really lousy pirate."

She signaled her Klingon boarding party to return. Once they were all back on board, she placed her hands on Ship and the long black tendrils let go with loud snapping noises and fell back into the water to disappear. The other ship slowly drifted away from them. Even after they had put a fair distance between them, the crew made no move to raise their heads from the deck.

"Are they ever going to get up?" Riker asked.

Shea watched them too, feeling a bit perplexed. "Doesn't look like it. Guess they're waiting until we're out of sight."

"Let's leave them be then, and find a spot where we can take a good look at this map," Picard said. He remembered seeing long tables on the deck below and headed for them. They trotted down the steps to find the area now filled with red, gold and blue uniformed crew from the Enterprise. Most of the available seating was taken but Picard spotted an open area where he could spread the map out fully and moved toward it. He bumped heavily into someone's shoulder. "My apologies," he said automatically.

"Sorry, Captain," came a familiar voice. "Afraid I can't see where I'm going."

"Geordi! Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just blind as a bat without my implants working. It's been a long time since I've experienced this. Takes some getting used to again."

"I imagine it must be difficult," Picard said.

"Hello, Geordi," Shea said.

"Hey there. Nice to hear your voice again." He smiled wide. "Not quite the same as seeing you though."

"Geordi, let me introduce you to Ship. I think she may be able to assist you." Shea took his hand and guided him to a side wall.

"What is she doing?" Riker asked. Picard merely shook his head, unsure what she had in mind.

"Put your hand on Ship next to mine," she instructed and Geordi did as she asked. She closed her eyes. A moment later a black tendril extended from the wall and wrapped around Geordi's wrist.

"Whoa, what the heck is that?" he asked.

"That's Ship. Think of her as your personal guide. Move away from the wall now and take a walk."

"But I'll be in everybody's way."

"Have faith. Try."

He took a deep breath and started forward. The tendril moved from the wall to extend from the floor to his wrist. He was about to crash into a table, but the tendril tugged him to stop, guided him to the right and tugged him forward again. He kept going, maneuvering around people and furniture. He turned around and came back until he stood before Shea again. He reached out and touched her arm. "Hey, I found you again."

"Yes, you did."

"I think I can get around now. Thanks."

"You're welcome.

"So which way is Engineering and who's in charge?"

"Ahead of you to the right then down two decks. And that would be Mr. Montgomery Scott. I believe you've met."

"Yes, we have." A big smile lit his face and he walked away with the tendril guiding him.

Shea watched him go. Picard slid his arm around her waist and spoke low into her ear. "You can be so very kind when you choose to be."

"No point in him bothering people. This is much more efficient," she said.

He smiled indulgently. "You can't fool me. You're not nearly as hard-hearted as you pretend."

"So are we going to figure out this map or not?" Riker demanded from the table behind them.

Shea and Picard went to join him. Picard rolled out the map before them and Riker pinned his end down with a hand, while Picard held the other. The parchment depicted a large land mass that stretched from the left side of the map up to the edge of a large ocean dotted with islands until cut off by the opposite edge of the parchment.

"Not a world map, obviously," Picard said. "This must be the sea where we are now, and we believe we came in from the west, so the top of the map is north as one would expect. I assume these drawings here indicate mountain ranges which correspond to what I recall. If we move east from there, this circle around these towers correspond to the city I noticed and the roads I saw. Assuming we continued in a fairly straight line, that would put us somewhere in this vicinity." He pointed to the open water between islands. He noticed a large inlet with a protruding peninsula. "Is this a natural harbor to the southwest here? There's quite a bit of writing. Can you read any of this?" He looked to Shea who was studying the map closely over his shoulder.

"Betu Ganstin," she enunciated slowly. "Safe harbor or bay, would be the closest translation I think. Literally, where the water sleeps."

"How about this walled city? Can you read the name?"

"Trinora." She said and stared at it for long time. She then recited something in a lilting foreign tongue.

"Would you mind translating?" Riker asked.

She looked up from the map. "It means, 'The one who rules sits on the throne of Trinora.' Something I just remembered."

"How come you're having such a hard time remembering anything? You say you've been here before. Lived here for years, yet you seem to know next to nothing about this place."

"I have a tendency to suppress unpleasant memories. This must be one of them."

Riker stared at her in disbelief. "Well, isn't that convenient for you."

"Not especially, no," she replied.

"She's doing the best she can," Picard said.

"You'll forgive me if I'm skeptical of that."

"She's not intentionally withholding information from us. Why would she?"

"Good question."

Picard frowned at him. "Will, we have to trust each other. We are quite literally all in the same boat. Now let's put aside suspicion and resentment and concentrate on the task at hand."

"To what end? I'm not eager to live out my life on a medieval planet."

"Nor am I. I can't believe Q would have deposited us here without an ulterior motive. No doubt it's another puzzle we must solve. There has to be an explanation for how this world depleted our power. Energy like that doesn't just disappear."

"So you think it's being used or stored somewhere and it's our job to find it."

"I do. And I think our best bet is to head for this main city. If anyplace shown on this map is accessing a power source, that would most likely be it."

"Shall we take Ship into this harbor then?" Riker pointed to the area Shea had identified as Betu Ganstin.

"It looks large enough to accommodate us. We'll need a safe place to anchor, and find supplies for everyone."

Riker looked at Shea. "Any idea what they use for trade here?"

"Precious metals and stones, or you can barter with goods, like silk and whisky," she sighed.

"We'll find a way, without engaging in theft," Picard told her again.

"Whatever you say," She leaned in close to him so their eyes met and her hair fell onto his shoulder. "You are the Captain."

Picard could feel her baiting him and he wanted to grab her, but held himself in check. This wasn't the time or place for games, especially not in front of Riker. He looked away from her and put his mind back on the map. "We need to understand their means of depicting distances. These hash marks appear consistently. Are they a unit of measurement?"

"A thousand paces each," Shea said gradually remembering. She moved slightly away giving him some breathing room. "They use the human body as a reference point. Five thousand paces would be approximately the same as an ancient Roman mile. And three of those miles is about as far a man walks in an hour."

Picard examined the clusters of markings along the roads and added them in his head as he moved from the harbor to the main city in the map's center. "This is no small journey," he concluded. "It adds up to nearly 350 miles."

"We'll need mounts," she said.

"Are you talking horses?" Riker asked.

She scowled trying to bring her memory into focus, "I think so, close enough anyway."

Picard looked at the map again. "So using the measure of distances marked on these roads for comparison, I would estimate we're about two hundred miles out from this harbor. It will take us at least a couple days to reach it."

"We might want to stretch it to four, maybe five. We need time to prepare everyone," Shea said.

Picard nodded. "Yes, we've work to do getting organized here."

Over the next few days, the two captains worked together making sure everyone knew their new assignments on board. With the help of Scotty and the Ketlons, they discovered that Ship could provide them with fresh water, and supplement them with fish that she gathered as she fed on plankton. She stored her catch in water-filled tanks in her hold below. Dr. Bashir and Dr. Crusher made sure the injured were cared for and the seasick were treated. Counselor Troi supervised the organization of a makeshift school for the children to normalize their lives and keep them out of trouble. The combined crews were learning how to survive together on this vessel and adapt to this unexpected and peculiar situation.

With fresh water and food no longer a major issue, Picard gave in to Shea's urging to extend their time at sea normalizing operations. Meanwhile, Shea spent the majority of her time on sword training, concentrating on those assigned to security, but included anyone who showed interest. The clang of metal on metal rang across the main deck continuously throughout the daylight hours. This morning Riker and Troi stood on the quarter deck watching the action below.

"I hate to think we may need that kind of fighting skill," Deanna said.

"No one expects you to go to battle," Riker replied. "Besides, you'll have me to protect you."

"And who's going to protect you? I don't see you down there practicing."

"I'm no slouch. Don't worry, I won't let anyone get close to you."

Deanna crossed her arms and stared at him. "You really think I'm that helpless? That I have to be rescued?"

_Uh oh, _ Riker thought. "Well, no, not exactly. I just meant…"

"I know exactly what you meant."

Next thing he knew, Deanna was marching down the steps of the quarter deck heading in Shea's direction.

Shea saw her coming, and lowered her sword, waving the security officer facing her to find another sparring partner. "Hello, Counselor. Something I can do for you?"

"Train me," she said. "I want to learn."

Shea almost laughed, but seeing Deanna's determined expression, she stopped herself. "I'd be happy to," she replied. "You want to start right now?"

"Why not?"

Shea nodded and thrust the handle of her sword to Deanna, who nonchalantly grabbed hold. Shea let go and the great blade dropped to its point. Deanna struggled to lift it again. Shea took the sword back. "Let's try something else," she said. She moved to a long rack of stowed blades and selected one. It was long and sleek with a slight curve to it, and sported a hooded grip. "Try this one."

Deanna slipped her hand in the grip and lifted the sword easily.

"Looks like a good fit." Shea put her sword with the other racked weapons, and returned with a knife. "Stab me," she said, "best to aim here." She circled her chest and stomach area. "It's the biggest target and most like to cause significant damage."

Deanna hesitated. " Shouldn't you be wearing a protective vest like the others?"

"Gets in my way and slows me down. Come on now. Stab me."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"Are you sure? I slept with your husband, you know." Shea waved at Riker, who waved back.

"Ancient history."

"It won't be when I do it again."

Deanna lifted her sword. "I know what you're trying to do. It won't work."

"No, you're far too perceptive for that. That's why when I enjoy his attentions again, you'll be the first to know, won't you?"

Deanna thrust with her sword. Shea slid the blade off to the right with her knife.

"He doesn't even like you anymore," Deanna said, and tried again. Her sword slid to the left this time, blocked again. Shea pushed her back and repositioned.

"He doesn't have to like me. He just has to want me."

Deanna dived at her full on. Shea sidestepped and Deanna missed entirely and nearly fell on her face.

"Damn it!" Deanna cursed.

"You're telegraphing every move. Calm yourself and focus. Don't let me see it coming. Keep your eyes on mine."

Deanna glared into Shea's eyes and focused on her goal…to run her through. She circled and waited looking for the right moment. She thought she saw it when another fighter went down beside them and Shea's eyes twitched to the right. Deanna powered the sword forward with everything she had. Shea went down beneath her, but the sword had not found its mark. The long blade pressed upward between them held in place by Shea's knife. Deanna saw that she would have fallen on its sharpened edge if Shea's other arm hadn't been holding her up. Shea lifted her and threw her back on her feet.

"Much better. You're a quick student. I'll work with you. An hour each morning, and again in the evening. In between, you'll spar with the others and do the exercises. Run the perimeter of the deck three times as a warm up beforehand. And best tie all that hair back. Someone gets hold of it, they'll rip your head off."

Deanna looked at Shea with her wild crystalline locks flying free. "Doesn't seem to worry you."

"It's not hair, remember? Anyone who grabs hold without permission seriously regrets it. So are we agreed?"

"Agreed." Deanna regarded her, wishing her empathic abilities could give her some clue as to this woman's true intentions, but as always Shea was unreadable. Shea held out her hand and Deanna handed over her sword. She watched as Shea put it and the knife back in the rack.

"You were just trying to anger me, weren't you? You didn't really mean what you said."

"Perhaps." Shea smiled a little. "Time will tell."

Shea winked in her direction as she reclaimed the sword Deanna had been unable to wield. Deanna swore to herself that one day she would, but this was not that day, so she walked away.

Over the next week, watching Deanna run and exercise and spar with the security officers became one of Riker's favorite forms of entertainment. He made a special effort to be on the quarterdeck when Deanna and Shea were going at it.

"Fantasizing that they're fighting over you?" Picard asked as he joined him at the rail.

Riker smiled and shook his head. "Hardly."

"Deanna's improving," Picard noted watching below. "but I sincerely hope she doesn't need to use her newly acquired skills."

"You're worried about what kind of reception we'll get when we enter that harbor tomorrow."

"I'd be a fool not to be. Especially after Shea's remarks."

"You don't seriously believe she only remembers bits and pieces at a time?

"Yes, Will, of course, I believe her. We're bonded, remember? I know her nearly as well as I know myself."

"Are you sure you're not just mesmerized by that creature."

Picard wanted to punch him but held himself tightly in check. "She's a flesh and blood woman, not a creature, and I will thank you to speak of her with respect."

"She may be mostly human but what matters is the part that isn't. I know how hypnotic her influence can be. She can turn a man into a sex addict, and make him do almost anything just so he can have access to her. This mental bonding between you two is just a twisted form of mutual masturbation."

Picard blinked in shock at the venom in Will's diatribe. It caught him so off-guard that for a moment he didn't know how to respond. Then it started to become apparent to him what was really going on here. He nodded in understanding as a slow grim smile formed on his face. "You're jealous. My God, Will. You want her and it's eating you alive that Shea is with me and not you. "

Riker glared at him, his face twitching with barely suppressed rage. "You're delusional. I'm a married man and I love my wife."

Picard nodded. "Oh yes, I know you do. The question is do you love her enough, because it seems to me that unless you can convince her to renegotiate the terms of your marital contract, there's a very good chance of your breaching it first chance you get."

"That will never happen. This is just more evidence of how twisted your thinking has become under that woman's influence."

"'The (Gentlemen) doth protest too much, methinks.' Looks like I'd better keep a close eye on you."

Riker shook his head and took a deep breath. "Let's just forget we ever talked about any of this."

"Suits me," Picard replied tersely.

A loud clang brought their attention back to the two women battling below. They parried and shoved each other back, finding new angles of attack, neither of them retreating. The setting sun lit their exposed arms and legs in reddened tones.

"Quite a sight," Riker remarked after watching them for awhile. "Certainly one I never expected to see."

"Par for the course," Picard replied, echoing Riker's earlier comment.

Shea and Deanna separated and lowered their weapons. The two women then looked up in their direction and saluted their captains smartly. Riker acknowledged them with a nod. Picard made no move, but he sent a message to Shea. This might be their last night to enjoy each other's company for awhile and he didn't want to waste any of it. His exchange with Riker made him want it even more.

"If you'll excuse me, Will, I think I'll go enjoy a prolonged session of our twisted mutual masturbation. Assuming, you don't mind, that is. Here's hoping you enjoy your evening at least half as much." Not waiting for a response, he turned and headed for his quarters.

When Shea walked into the cabin, Picard was waiting for her, lying back on their bunk in the small room. He watched her shove a backpack out of the way.

"Sorry it's so cramped," she said.

"It's fine, really."

"No, it's not." She kicked something on the floor that offended her.

"You need to relax," he told her.

"I can't. We're going into that harbor tomorrow and I can't remember anything about it."

"We've gone many places where we've had far less information to work with. This is no different."

"Then why does it feel different? Every muscle in my body is pulled tight as a violin string, vibrating in my ears."

"Come over here." He pulled her down beside him. "I don't know what we'll encounter tomorrow, but I do know we're well prepared. You've seen to that. I've never witnessed anyone work harder. But tonight, we rest. We find comfort with each other and put our fears aside. Now pay attention to me, be in this moment and let time slow down. Close your eyes and just breathe."

She did as he asked, and focused on the sound of his voice, letting its elegant resonance calm her and take her in. "Keep talking," she said and leaned against him.

"Oh I plan to do a lot more than talk. Now open your mind to me, and let me show you exactly how to get rid of all that tension."

She smiled, dropped her mental shields and surrendered to his expertise.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

First light came all too soon. Shea saw Picard was on his feet, dressed and ready, so she sat up and put her bare feet on the floor.

"Ship can see land," she informed him.

"You ready for this?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yes. I'm fine. Don't worry." She slowly remembered what she had learned while lying with him. "That was quite a conversation you had with Will last night. Do you really think he's jealous?"

Picard sighed. "I don't know, maybe. Or maybe I was simply projecting how I would feel if the tables were reversed. He made me angry and that's what I came up with in the moment."

"He really does love Deanna, you know."

"Yes, he does. So let's put all that aside and go see this harbor."

With the early morning sun low in the sky silhouetting the shoreline, the peninsula looked like a long black finger beckoning them in. Riker manned the wheel and aimed Ship for the opening shown on the map. A huge ominous black shape, perched on the uppermost point of the peninsula, came into view.

"What is that?" Riker asked.

No one volunteered to guess and simply stared ahead at it. As they approached, the dark outline became a gigantic gargoyle-like creature with red eyes and a glowing mouth looming above them. The Klingons drew their swords and waited for it to attack. Picard and Shea came up from behind them and looked up at the fearsome monster.

"Relax," Shea said. "It's just a lighthouse."

Now they could see that the red eyes and mouth were lit fires. Chorack put his sword away with a disgusted grunt.

"I should have known such a creature could not exist," he growled.

"You're right. The real ones are much larger," Shea said.

Chorack scowled at her, uncertain whether she was serious or not.

"Just how well can Ship see in these waters? We don't want to run aground." Picard said.

"It is a bit murky. Maybe I should do a little reconnaissance," Shea replied. "I could try to figure out where we can anchor safely."

"Very well. Make it so."

Shea crossed her arms and looked at him. "Excuse me?"

He smiled. "Sorry. Would you please take a swim? Let us know what you find."

"I'd love to." She promptly stripped off her uniform, walked to the railing and dove off the side.

Riker shook his head. "How come we're always in trouble for how we phrase a thing, rather than what we meant by it?"

"If you can figure that out, you'll have answered the age old question of why women think the way they do," Picard replied.

As they drifted slowly, waiting for Shea's return, the two men stood quietly there on the bridge, each waiting for the other to speak.

"Sorry about last night," Riker said at last.

Picard nodded. "I regret my words as well. Heat of the moment."

"No problem."

"So you don't think I'm insane then?"

"No more than usual. And you don't really think I'm going to try to steal Shea away from you?"

"Couldn't if you tried," Picard replied.

Riker laughed at that. "Truce?"

"Truce, it is."

Shea's head bobbed to the surface and she climbed back over the railing where she retrieved her uniform and held it in front of her. Dark water dripped from her, as she stood before the two captains.

"They must dump all their garbage in the harbor," she said with obvious distaste. "The good news is that it's deep. Ship won't have any problem with clearance. We can anchor off the pier and extend a ramp to it. I have to warn you though, the place is full of ships and teaming with people."

"Well, we didn't expect to go unnoticed," Picard replied. He nodded to Will who pushed the wheel forward telling Ship to move ahead.

"I'm going to go shower off and get ready," Shea said and left them.

As the massive black vessel entered the harbor, people ashore stood and stared, or pointed and shouted to each other. Some ran, but whether they were running for someone or something, or simply away from them, Picard could not tell. A long wooden pier lay ahead. Other vessels were tied to it, some small, some large, but all dwarfed by Ship. They anchored a safe distance away, but close enough that Ship's arms could reach the pier when they were ready.

"Ready to go ashore when you are."

Picard turned at the sound of Shea's voice, but what he saw surprised him. She had thoroughly disguised herself. She had donned bulky armor over her shoulders and torso. A white cloth wrapped her hair hiding it completely and a helmeted mask hid her face and eyes from view. The overall effect was a featureless warrior of indeterminate sex.

"I don't think I've ever seen you quite so… covered up."

"I want to blend in," she said, "but still look intimidating."

"I don't know about the first, but I think you've succeeded with the latter."

"You have to wear the armor issued to you as well. Everyone who goes ashore needs to."

"I understand. Stop fretting."

Shea looked at the people starting to line up along the pier and shoreline beyond, staring back at them, gesturing and talking among themselves. "I don't think these people will be prostrating themselves at our feet," she said.

The crowd parted and four long-robed figures walked forward to stand in front. Picard noted that the people in the crowd were a ragged bunch, poorly clothed. Some of them looked ill and emaciated. In contrast, the four white robed leaders in front stood strong and tall.

"Looks like we have an official greeting party," Picard said to Riker. "Let's put on our armor and go say hello."

Picard returned to his quarters to retrieve the protective chainmail Ship had constructed before they had lost power. Constructed of lightweight tritanium it slid easily over his uniform, covering his torso, arms and upper thighs. His looked nothing like what Shea had chosen for herself. It added no bulk and did not restrict his movement in the slightest. He tucked the accompanying helmet under his arm. He returned to the quarterdeck where Riker and the landing party awaited, similarly outfitted.

"Well, if it isn't Sir Lancelot," Picard commented ruefully upon seeing Riker.

"I feel ridiculous," Riker answered.

"You'd feel worse with a blade through your ribs," Deanna told him firmly.

"Shall we?" Picard asked interrupting the exchange. Riker extended Ship's tentacles toward the pier where they grabbed on, and smoothed themselves into a flattened ramp. The crowd on the pier gasped in unison and retreated several steps. The white robed leaders held their ground, apparently unfazed. Picard glanced around at the armed and helmeted Klingons along with Riker, Deanna and Shea to make sure they were all ready. He lead them forward across the ramp and down to the pier. One of the four robed figures stepped toward them and raised his clasped hands to the level of his chin in greeting.

"Introduce us," Picard told Shea. As she spoke to them, he appraised the man's appearance - tall, slender, deep brown in color with black eyes. Like his robed companions, he had an ellipse carved deeply into his forehead. Shea turned again to Picard, "I told them you're our captain and that we seek guidance. He says that they are the Guardians of the Goddess. He wants to know where we come from and how we have power over a demon ship."

"A demon ship?" Picard considered how best to respond. "Tell him we came from across the great sea, and that it's not a demon. It's a shape-changing whale that we have trained to carry us."

"Reasonably accurate if a bit misleading," she commented, then translated Picard's words to the man. He scowled in response, then spoke quietly to the other three. He finally turned back and spoke again, pointing to a distant tower.

"If we seek guidance, we must consult their goddess. He wants us to come with them to their temple."

Picard turned to Deanna, "What is your impression, Counselor?"

"They seem more confused than hostile. They're trying to understand who we are."

"Sounds reasonable," Picard observed. "We need their aid. Going with them will show our good faith."

"I don't like it," Shea said. "There are too many people. This crowd could turn on us."

"It's a risk, I agree. But either we move forward or return to Ship empty handed and accomplish nothing. Tell them we would be honored to accompany them."

She sighed, but translated his words verbatim.

The four Guardians turned and beckoned them to follow. Picard complied and the others fell in behind him. He could feel Shea shadowing him closely. The crowd parted, but hands touched them as they passed, which he found curious.

"It's as if they're not sure we're real," Deanna said.

"If I punch someone, maybe they'll figure it out," Riker said when he had to pull his arm free from one of them. Chorack snarled at another too interested person behind them.

"Steady everyone," Picard cautioned. "We're here to make friends, not enemies."

As they followed the Guardians, he took note of their surroundings. The street they walked upon was paved with rough hewed stones and lined with wooden buildings one to three levels tall. Faces peered through open windows at them. An old man watched them approach. When they got close, he spat on the ground at Deanna's feet. "Gritani!" he yelled and pointed at her. "Gritani!" One of the Guardians waved a hand, and a group of armed men grabbed the old man and pushed him aside.

"What was he yelling?" Picard asked.

"Witch."

"I think I've been insulted," Deanna said.

Picard looked at Shea and spoke low. "You were wise to cover yourself. This appears to be a very superstitious society. What about this goddess of theirs? Any memory of a matriarchal based religion?"

"No, it doesn't seem familiar."

They had reached the tower the Guardians had pointed towards. Large wooden doors with metal bracing and locks stood before them. In contrast to the wooden structures they had passed until this point, the huge building was constructed of grey and brown stone slabs. From above the entry, carved into the stone, a large eye with an elliptical iris looked down upon them. Picard looked at the eye then looked at Shea.

"Does that look familiar to you?"

She shook her head. "No."

"It does to me."

"Just a coincidence," she said.

A Guardian signaled to someone nearby who lifted a horn to his lips and blew it. The doors opened from the inside. At first Picard felt a momentary excitement thinking the doors were automated in some way, but then he saw hands pulling them open, belonging to more robed Guardians on the inside, who had apparently been waiting for the others' signal. So far, there appeared to be no power source here other than muscle. They followed the four original Guardians inside walking beneath an arched ceiling in an outer room toward another entry beyond. This one opened to a soaring chamber whose roof was held aloft by great stone pillars surrounding them. Before them stood a larger than life womanly statue. The stone figure appeared humanoid until the head which looked vaguely catlike and wore a crown of serpents.

Riker stared at the statue, "Their goddess looks a little like the Egyptian cat god Bastet. Uh oh. I don't like the look of that," he said and gestured to the left of the statue.

Picard followed his gaze to a raised slab held up by huge stone claws. The slab dripped with dark stains.

The Guardians numbered in the dozens now and spread out around them in a circle. The crowd that had followed them to the temple could now only be heard as a distant rumble beyond the closed doors. A handful of armed men stood behind Picard and his people, either to keep the rabble out or their prisoners within. The original Guardian who had addressed them before, approached. He lowered the hood of his robe revealing a shaved head covered in black inked symbols. A long chain hung around his neck supporting a rough cut crystal. He turned slowly about and addressed the other Guardians, his voice ringing with authority.

Shea translated to Picard and the others as he spoke. "'These people who are strange in dress and face have come among us. They have brought to us a great monster ship, black as night, that sails without sails and like a living thing tied itself to our pier with great long snakes. This man," he pointed at Picard, "who claims to be its captain says that it is a whale that changes shape, but I have never seen or heard of such a creature. I believe it is a demon, a demon who serves them," he pointed again. "We must consult the Goddess.'"

He waved his hand at the assembled Guardians. Two of them turned away and left the circle. When they returned they were dragging a bound man with them. His eyes rolled back in his head and he could not stand without their aid. They pulled him over to the claw-held slab beside the stone goddess and stretched him out upon it.

"I have a really bad feeling about this," Riker said.

"Can we stop them?" Deanna asked.

"Sure, no problem," Shea said. "Just volunteer to take his place."

"But this is barbaric."

"I thought you believed in non-interference," Shea whispered. "If it makes you feel any better, he's heavily drugged. Probably won't feel a thing."

Picard watched as the head Guardian pulled out a long dagger and walked toward the helpless man lying on the slab. He told himself not to interfere, but as the Guardian stood over the man and raised his knife above his heart, Picard shouted, "Wait! Please. There must be another way."

The Guardian lowered his knife and narrowed his eyes at Picard. Shea looked from one to the other.

"Tell him what I said," Picard ordered her. She hesitated. "Tell him!"

Reluctantly, she translated Picard's words.

The Guardian snarled back at him, and gestured angrily.

"He says be silent. You offend the Goddess."

"Tell him I meant no offense. But I can answer any questions he has about our ship and our crew. This man doesn't need to die."

Shea again translated and the Guardian just stared at them for a moment, seeming to reassess them. When the Guardian spoke again, his tone had changed. Picard felt hopeful, until he heard Shea cursing under her breath.

"What is it? What did he say?"

"He said, 'So you would be the voice of the Goddess. You seek to replace me.'"

Picard looked at him and shook his head. "No, that's not what I meant."

The Guardian didn't wait for Shea to translate. He screamed and threw his knife at Picard's chest. Shea knew it would not penetrate tritanium, but in that split second she decided something more dramatic was in order. She snatched it out of the air before it hit, walked forward with it spinning in her hand, then bent down on one knee and offered it back in her open palm.

"Our captain does not seek to replace you. He seeks your friendship," she told him.

He hesitated as he stared down at her masked face. Gathering his courage, he snatched the knife from her hand. "Then do not interfere in our ways," he said.

"We apologize for our ignorance," she replied and backed away.

The Guardian once more drew his knife into the air, and this time without hesitation he plunged it into the man's chest. Deanna screamed and turned away.

"Sorry," Shea said when she returned to the others. "It was either him or us. I chose us."

Picard frowned but said nothing. There was no point. The man was dead. Unfortunately, the Guardian didn't seem content with merely taking the man's life. He took the man's heart as well and held it up for all to see.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Deanna said, and swallowed hard.

"You're a warrior," Shea whispered to her. "Nothing fazes you."

Deanna nodded, took a deep breath and stood straighter.

The collected robed Guardians began to chant in one combined voice calling to the Goddess to answer and guide them. Two of them walked toward the statue and stopped at a large round disc in the floor at the statue's feet. They bent down, lifted it and set it aside. Instantly, flames leaped up from below burning brightly in flickering yellows, blues and greens.

"Sulfur?" Riker speculated.

"Probably," Picard said.

The head Guardian holding the man's heart aloft, wiped his knife clean and sheathed it, then grabbed the crystal at the end of his necklace and joined the chanting. Suddenly, he threw the heart into the fire and the flames leaped up to consume it changing to a brilliant solid green. The crystal in his hand glowed green as well. Picard thought it was merely a reflection of color from the flames, until Deanna grabbed his arm and pointed to the face of their deity. Its eyes now glowed the same color as the fire.

"Now we shall see if you are demon or man," the Guardian told them. Shea translated quickly. He stepped toward the flames and put his hand into their center. He grimaced but held steady. When he withdrew, his hand was pink and smoldering, but otherwise whole.

"I am man," he said. He gestured at them to do the same.

The message was clear enough without translation. Picard stepped forward. Steeling himself for searing pain, he thrust his hand into the flame. To his great shock, it burned ice cold. He held the stare of the Guardian and his hand in the searing cold until the Guardian nodded in approval. He withdrew his hand and it too smoldered and shown pink but unharmed. He nodded to Riker, who repeated the ceremonial test. Deanna followed, then the Klingon guards, one by one. Picard looked to Shea who still did not move.

"It's ice cold," he told her, "Go ahead."

The Guardians were clearly waiting for her. When she still hesitated, the head Guardian called out to her. "Step forward and be tested or there will be more blood shed this day."

"What's the problem?" Picard asked.

She shook her head. "None I guess." She walked up and thrust her hand into the green flames. She held it there, relaxing into it. Despite what Picard had said, it wasn't cold at all. In fact, it felt rather pleasant, licking her fingers as she moved them around in the flames. In fact, it felt better than pleasant, it felt good, so good that she pushed her arm in up to the elbow and might have immersed herself if Picard hadn't suddenly grabbed her and pulled her back.

"What are you doing?" he demanded.

She looked at her hand and lower arm in surprise. They were black, black as coal, but her skin didn't smolder, and it didn't hurt.

"Demon!" the Guardian cried out. "This one is not man, but demon."

Steel blades rang out as they were pulled from their sheaths. She decided blending in was no longer an option. If she had to fight, she wanted to be unencumbered. In one swift move, she tore off her bulky armor with one hand and with the other her mask and hair covering, then pulled her sword with her blackened arm to face them.

"Goddess!" the Guardian cried out and dropped to his knees. "Forgive us!"

The swords of the Guardian's men clattered to the floor and they backed away. The other robed Guardians dropped to the ground one by one and prostrated themselves.

"I thought you said there was no connection," Picard said.

"There isn't. They just think there is," Shea replied.

"Let's not disabuse them," Picard said. "Your resemblance to their goddess seems to have put us in charge for the moment." He glanced at her blackened arm. "That looks seriously painful."

She shook her head, "No, it doesn't hurt." She stared at the prostrated Guardians then up at the statue. "You know that thing really doesn't look anything like me."

"Perhaps it's meant to be symbolic rather than realistic," Deanna ventured.

Shea continued to stare at the cat-faced statue. "How did they get those eyes to glow like that?"

"It's not flickering like a fire," Picard noted. "We should take a closer look."

Shea nodded and motioned to Chorack. "Give me a boost." Chorack formed a stirrup with his clasped hands and when she stepped into them, he launched her toward the statue's head. Shea caught the shoulder and pulled herself up. She looked in the recessed eye and saw a large glowing crystal. "I think we've found a power source," she called down to them. She reached for it with her charred hand. The brightly lit stone felt cool to her touch. "Catch!" she called to Riker below and dropped it to him. He caught it easily but then juggled it like a hot potato. "Ow! Damn!" he said and set it down. Deanna ran for the cloth on the floor that had previously covered Shea's hair and wrapped the crystal inside it. Shea watched them, puzzled by their reactions. She reached for the crystal in the other eye socket. It too felt cool to her. She decided not to toss it and instead jumped down. Deanna opened the cloth and she placed the second crystal with the first, where they continued to glow.

"Seems we found what we were looking for," Picard commented.

"Wonderful, maybe we can even power a flashlight," Riker said.

"It's a start at least," Picard looked again at the kneeling priests who remained motionless. "We seem to be in control of things in here, but we still have that mob outside to contend with. Any ideas, Goddess?"

"Don't you dare start calling me that," she said, "but yes, I do. As long as I'm cast in the role, I might as well use it."

"I hate exploiting a primitive belief system but it seems we have few options," Picard nodded. "Just be careful what you do and say. False gods have a long way to fall. You so much as cut yourself, or say the wrong thing, we'll all be in trouble."

"Oh ye of little faith," she said and turned away.

"Guardian! She spoke to the leader who still remained bowed before her. "Speak your name."

He mumbled something unintelligible into the floor.

"Oh, for pity's sake," she said under her breath, then loudly in the local tongue, "Lift your head when you answer me."

He raised his head from the floor but remained in his prone position, "I am known as the High Guardian Terkel."

"On your feet, Terkel. Your Goddess commands it."

He rose to his feet but did not look her in the face.

"You called me demon."

"Forgive me. I did not recognize you until I saw your eyes."

"So am I demon or am I Goddess?"

"You are both, of course. Do you test me?"

"Yes, let's see if you pass. Whom do you serve?"

"I serve you. I am your servant in all things. I have devoted my life to you, waiting for your return, following your teachings and keeping faith in you alive."

She considered his words and tone of voice and decided he was sincere. "And did I teach you to cut open men's chests and throw their hearts into the fire?"

"Blood feeds the flame of the Goddess; the blood of the Goddess is the flame."

She didn't know what to make of that, but didn't want to appear too ignorant. She decided to file it away for future reference.

"Will you serve me now?"

"Yes, of course, I am and always will be your faithful servant. All of us here live to serve you," he said and swept his arm to include the other Guardians.

"What about the ones outside these doors?"

"The rabble is ignorant, Goddess. We try to teach them. Some believe, many do not."

"But they fear you, do they not?"

"They fear you, Goddess, and the power you grant us."

She thought about that for a moment. Fear was fear, however they explained it. And that would work to her advantage. "Go out among them then, tell them I have returned, and clear the way to my… my demon ship."

He spoke to the other Guardians who obediently rose to their feet and motioned their men to get up and move to the doors.

"Send word to all," Terkel told them, "the Goddess has returned. Clear the way."

As the Guardians moved to the doors and opened them, she looked back at Picard, Riker and Troi watching the exchange, and felt glad that they had not understood a word.

"They're clearing a path for us back to Ship," she told them and nothing else.

"Good. The sooner we're out of here, the better," Riker said.

"Why do I have the feeling you left out a few details just now?" Picard said.

"What difference does it make? I'm getting us out of here, aren't I?" she snapped.

Picard scowled at her, but said nothing. Perhaps that arm was hurting more than she let on, he thought.

"Yes, you are," he said diplomatically. "Well done."

She frowned, turned away from him and stared at her hand.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

When Picard and his fellow crewmembers followed the Guardians out of the temple, the murmuring crowd moved back and parted before them. Many pointed at Shea's blackened arm. Some cried out and fell to their knees, a few bowed respectfully, but most merely stared and whispered to each other. The temple Guardians surrounded them as they walked ahead keeping a barrier between them and the crowd.

"What are you sensing, Counselor?" Picard asked.

"A combination of hostility and fear," she said.

Picard could see the festering resentment in their eyes, and knew these people would gladly tear them apart if they dared. Some nameless fear was holding them back. Fear of these Guardians, no doubt, and the Goddess they served. It never ceased to amaze him the power religion could wield over a primitive culture. He had no right to judge them, of course; his world had been no better for countless generations.

When they reached Ship's ramp and started up, Terkel called out to them.

"He wants to follow me," Shea said.

Picard considered the ramifications of bringing Terkel aboard. The issues far outweighed any benefit he could see.

"No, I don't want him on board. Tell him to wait for us to contact him later, when we're ready."

Once on board, Picard looked back to see Terkel standing at the base of the ramp with the Guardians spread out behind him.

"Retract the ramp," he ordered the helmsman on the quarterdeck. The ramp split into a dozen or more tentacles, untied from the pier and dropped into the dark water to disappear below. He felt better now that open water lay between them.

"Get the doctor up here, then take those crystals to Mr. Scott for analysis." Picard told Deanna. She nodded and hurried away. "You'd better sit down," he told Shea, and took hold of her good arm and guided her to a bench.

"I'm fine," she said, and went to pull away.

He hung on. "The hell you are. Now sit down and don't argue."

She sat down, scowling.

"Someone call for a doctor?"

Picard looked up to see Beverly Crusher coming towards them. "I was expecting Dr. Bashir."

"He's in surgery. Quite a bloody mess it is too. He says he enjoys frontier medicine, but I think he got more than he bargained for."

"Would you take a look at Shea's arm, Doctor?"

Beverly turned to Shea then sucked in her breath when she saw the blackened skin stretching from Shea's fingertips to her elbow. "What caused these burns?"

"She put her hand into a green fire in their temple. The rest of us did as well, but we suffered no ill effect."

Beverly sat beside Shea and rummaged around in her bag. She pulled out a hypospray. "This should relieve the pain."

"No. I don't need it," Shea protested determinedly. "There is no pain."

"That's not good. Numbness means your nerves have been damaged. We're talking third degree burns."

"If my nerves were damaged, would I be able to do this?" Shea grabbed Beverly by the neck with her blackened hand.

"Release her!" Picard ordered. "What do you think you're doing?"

Shea let go. "Just making a point."

"Apologize," he demanded.

Shea looked back at Beverly, but she didn't feel like apologizing. Her darkened hand twitched and she felt like seizing Beverly by the neck again. "I don't think so."

"Maybe I should go get Dr. Bashir," Beverly said.

"Good idea," Shea replied, glaring at her.

Beverly left, rubbing her neck as she walked away.

"I can't believe you did that," Picard said.

"I don't like her," Shea replied.

"She's been nothing but kind to you. Even when she feared that you might be a bad influence on me, she was respectful. You had no cause to harm her."

Shea focused on him, seeming to see him now. "You're right," she said at last. "I'll apologize to her. I promise."

In a moment, Dr. Bashir appeared coming up the steps from below deck, wiping his hands on a towel. He flashed his big wide grin at them. "Dr. Crusher seems to think I should be the one to examine you. She even took over my surgery. She's a good doctor, but a little squeamish when it comes to using an old fashioned scalpel. So let's take a look at that arm of yours." Shea held it out to him. "Hmmm… that does look nasty. But you say it doesn't hurt? And you can use it?"

Shea nodded and wriggled her fingers in demonstration.

"What I wouldn't give for a working tricorder," he said. "Normally, touching a burn like that would be the last thing I would want to do, but under these circumstances…" he sighed and put out a gloved finger. "I'll try to be gentle." He pressed lightly on the skin, expecting it to give way. Instead, he encountered firm resistance. He pressed harder, and felt a cold sensation through his glove. "Hmmm…. that's odd." He looked in the medical bag that Beverly had left behind for him until he found what he wanted. He put the nanoscopic magnifier on his head and peered through the lens at her skin. "This doesn't look like any burn I've ever seen. On the contrary, the skin looks quite solid and smooth, almost glass-like in composition - as if it's gone through some sort of metamorphosis." He shook his head. "This really isn't skin at all. Shea, I don't think that fire burned you, I think it changed your molecular structure."

Shea and the Captain stared at her hand.

"Tell me exactly how it feels to you," Bashir requested.

"Odd," she said. "Not bad exactly, just odd. I can move it and there's no discomfort. But when I look at it, it's like it's not even mine. Like it belongs to someone else."

"Shea, could this be affecting you mentally?" Picard asked.

"Why would you ask?"

"You tried to strangle Dr. Crusher just now. Don't you think that's a little out of character?"

"Seemed like an awfully good idea at the moment," she said, but when neither Picard nor Bashir smiled, she relented. "I suppose it was."

Picard put his hand on top of her good one. "We'll figure this out."

"But until we do, you think maybe I can't be trusted." she replied.

"I didn't say that."

"No, you're just thinking it."

Picard hesitated to answer and was glad when a voice interrupted.

"Captain, we have good news," Mr. Scott announced. Picard looked over to see Scotty and Geordi approaching them. Geordi wore a wide smile.

"It's those crystals that you found for us," Scotty explained. "As you suspected they are a power source. They hold energy in much the same fashion as does a dilithium crystal. Mr. La Forge and I are working on a way to interface them with Ship.

Geordi smiled and nodded in confirmation. "I even think I can use a piece to power my visual implants."

"That is good news," Picard agreed. "Well done, both of you. How much power can these crystals' generate."

"Not enough to run a starship. Not with just the two of them," Scotty replied, "but we should be able to get the food replicators working and some of the most vital equipment."

"Like my tricorder?" Bashir asked.

"Aye, like your tricorder."

"Is there enough to power Data?" Shea asked.

"Perhaps. I suppose it's a question of priorities." Scotty replied.

"Data is a top priority," she said.

"Shea, of course he's a priority, but we need to provide decent food and medical care for this crew first," Picard said.

"They're alive. Data isn't."

Picard looked at her determined expression. "Are you sure you're using your best judgment right now?"

"Data first," she insisted agressively. "You owe him," she added coldly.

He frowned at her and glanced at the others, who looked away in embarrassment. "Mr. Scott, food and medical equipment first. Then see what you can do to reactivate Data. Keep me informed."

When Scotty and Geordi left, Picard turned to Dr. Bashir. "Is there anything you can do for Shea's injury at the moment?"

"Not without more information and for that I need our equipment working again."

"Understood. Thank you, Doctor. That will be all for now." He waited until Dr. Bashir was out of hearing range then addressed Shea. "Join me in our quarters. I want to speak to you in private."

She followed him to their cabin. When the door shut behind her, he said, "I'd like to discuss your attitude."

"What about it?"

"It's unacceptable. You've been aggressive with the crew and disrespectful to me in front of them. And I suspect you're not sharing everything you know. Up to now, I've accepted that you're having trouble remembering, but I can't believe that all this hasn't jogged your memory in the least. There seems to be a religion here built around you - and don't tell me it's a mere coincidence. The way that you responded to that flame says otherwise." He fell silent and waited for her to explain herself.

"You're right, I was attracted to that fire. It didn't feel cold to me. It felt so good I wanted to climb into it and probably would have if you hadn't stopped me."

"And you don't remember any previous experience with this fire?

"It seemed familiar, but I can't remember anything specific about it."

"And what about this religion of theirs?"

"I swear to you I have no knowledge of it. When Terkel called me Goddess, I was as surprised as you were."

"Before that, when he saw your hand darken, he called you something else. What was it?"

"Demon."

"So in an instant you went from a demon to a goddess? Seems a bit of a stretch."

"He says I am both."

Picard sighed and rolled his eyes. "At the moment, I'm inclined to agree."

"That's not funny."

"Are you sure?"

"Maybe a little." She smiled a bit.

He smiled back. "I'm glad to see you still have your sense of humor. Can you recognize that you've been behaving strangely?" She nodded. "Good. Then I think you'll understand why it might not be prudent to rely your own judgment for the time being."

"You don't trust me."

"Not at the moment. I'm sorry for that, but what's more important is that you trust me and do as I ask."

"So what do you want me to do?"

"To begin with, teach me the local language. By using our bond, you should be able to share that knowledge with me. Furthermore, I want you to fully open your memories of this world. No blockage, no protecting my sensibilities. Full out revelation. Agreed?"

"I've already shared what I remember, but if you want to see for yourself through our connection, I have no objection. And yes, you should be able to pick up the language with some practice."

When he moved toward for her, she held her blackened arm away from him. "Don't touch it, okay? I don't want you to."

"That's going to be a bit awkward, isn't it? You said it doesn't hurt."

"No, but it might hurt you. Remember what happened with Beverly."

"I'm not worried. I know you would never harm me." He took her in his arms, reached for her mind with his, and felt her open to him.

Later, when he lay next to her, sated physically and emotionally, as satisfying as he found their connection to be, he felt disappointed that he had discovered no new revelations in her memories of this world. He had picked up the basics of the local language and filled in some gaps in her translated conversations with Terkel, but little else. He supposed she might still be holding back, but he didn't think so. He was convinced she had shared with him what she could. She moved beside him and her black arm fell across his bare chest. Hard as a rock, heavy and ice cold. Damn, he thought, and slipped a blanket between his skin and her arm. Looking at it, he realized her natural golden tone had returned to just below her elbow. It was starting to heal on its own. He decided to wake her so she could see the change for herself. He wondered if he could do it in the local language. He thought about it for a moment, then it came to him.

"Sleetog chora," he said, hoping he had the correct pronunciation.

She grumbled in reply, "Go back to sleep." Then her eyes opened. "Hey, you just told me to wake up, didn't you?"

"I was hoping I had."

"You did. So we should practice. Speak only in the native tongue until it becomes second nature to you."

"Agreed, but first I want to point out your arm. I think it's starting to heal."

She looked at it. "So it is. Good. That means it should return to normal on its own. One less thing to worry about. Okay, so no more Standard. Talk to me in the local language only."

For the rest of the day, Picard did just that. By early evening, he felt comfortable conversing in it. When he stood again on the quarterdeck looking down at the pier in the fading light, he saw that Terkel was exactly where they had left him, standing with his hands clasped together and his fellow Guardians arrayed behind him. It occurred to Picard that when Shea had told Terkel to wait for them to contact him, he had taken it quite literally.

Riker joined him at the rail and looked down at the white robes on the pier below. "You think they're going to stay there all night?"

"I wouldn't be surprised." He regarded them for a moment then came to a decision. "Perhaps this would be a good time to test my newly acquired linguistic skills. Care to join me?"

"I wouldn't miss it," Riker said, then addressed the helmsman on duty. "Extend the ramp, Mr. Branson. Captain Picard and I are going ashore."

"I should accompany you," Mr. Worf told them. "It is not safe."

"Very well," Picard replied.

The three of them headed for the ramp. Shea spotted them and ran over to cut them off. "Where are you going?"

"I want to speak with Terkel directly," Picard told her.

"I'll go with you."

"No. Until that arm heals completely, you need to stay on board."

"But he may not listen to you if I'm not there, and that crowd… you saw how they looked at us. I should be with you."

"We can handle this. Stay here," he told her again.

"But…"

"What did I tell you earlier?"

He saw and felt her struggling not to argue or defy him further. At last, she backed down and moved out of their way.

"Trouble in paradise?" Riker asked as they walked away from her and headed toward the ramp.

"It's something to do with that arm. It's affecting her," Picard told him.

Terkel looked up from his hands as they approached. "Greetings and Blessings, Captain of the Great Water Beast," he said or at least that's what Picard thought he had said.

"Greetings and Blessings to you, Terkel," he replied.

"Do you bring word from the Goddess?"

"Actually I am here to ask you a few questions. Are you comfortable with that?"

"If the Goddess wishes it, I am comfortable."

"I believe you are aware that we borrowed the two crystals from the eyes of the stone figure in your temple. Do you have any objection?"

"The eyes of the Goddess were taken by the Goddess. If anyone else had tried to do so, we would have killed them. But since they are hers to claim, we have no objection."

"I'm glad to hear that. Now my question is, are there more of these crystals available?"

"Is this your question, or do you speak for her?"

"I speak for us both."

Terkel scowled at him now. "You speak of the Goddess as if you were her equal, rather than her subject. To do so would be blasphemous, but I withhold conclusion. It may be due to your unfamiliarity with our language."

Picard hesitated. He certainly had no intention of asserting himself as a god, but he did not want to be deemed a blasphemer either. Perhaps something in the middle, he thought, to insure Terkel's respect. "She confers with me, and trusts my judgment," he said.

"It almost sounds as if you claim to be the Chosen One?"

"I am not familiar with that term."

"The Chosen One - he who joins with the Goddess in body and spirit."

Picard considered for a moment before answering. "By that definition, then yes."

Terkel's facial expression changed abruptly to one of hostility. He stepped back and turned to his Guardians. "Kill him!"

The closest Guardian pulled out a long wicked looking dagger. Picard prepared to defend himself, but suddenly the man fell to the ground with an agonized cry, and a knife protruded from his chest. Terkel looked up and promptly fell to his knees to prostrate himself. The Guardians behind him did the same.

Picard turned to see Shea's figure silhouetted far above them standing on the edge of the railing, and knew she had thrown the knife.

"How the hell did she do that?" Riker asked.

"That is too great a distance," Worf stated. "Even for her."

"Yes, it is," Picard agreed. It had to be something to do with that altered arm of hers. He turned back to Terkel and switched to the local tongue.

"Look at me, Terkel. Why did you try to have me killed?"

Terkel leaned back and looked up at him. "I am the High Guardian of the Goddess. I have sworn allegiance to her blood."

Picard scowled at him, confused by his response. "Be that as it may, clearly I have her protection."

"Clearly. I will not challenge you again." He signaled to his robed Guardians who came and hauled their injured companion away.

"Now answer my question," Picard told him. "Are there more of these crystals to be found?"

"Not here in Betu Ganstin. They were the last. The others were taken long ago by the army of Trinora."

"So they left you only those two?"

"The two were enough to keep order here."

"If they are the sole source of your power, didn't you think it a risk to reveal them to us?"

"We had to know if you were man or demon."

"Explain to me what you mean by the term demon."

"You are most peculiar, Captain. You say you join with the Goddess, yet know not about demon. Perhaps again, it is a problem with your use of our language or perhaps you would test my faith. I know not your reasoning but I will answer. Demon is the dark brought to life by the fires that burn in the blood of the Goddess."

"You're referring to the green flames we saw in your temple."

Terkel nodded, "the source of all power."

"If you have access to a power source, why do you need the crystals?"

"Only demon can commune with the flames. Men need the crystals to harness it."

"So you're saying the Goddess can commune with the flames. Is that why her arm turned black?"

"Yes, she is demon." Terkel sounded confused and frustrated by Picard's questions.

"You tried to attack her for that very reason, because her arm had changed."

"She has forgiven me, has she not? I did not recognize her until she revealed herself."

Picard sighed in frustration. He felt as if he were going in circles. He tried another approach. "Do you have knowledge of her from before? Stories you can relate?"

"Our teachings have been passed down from generation to generation."

"Tell me your teachings."

"It will take many hours."

"I have time," Picard said and sat down before him.

"As you wish." Terkel moved into a squatted position then took a deep breath and began to recite. "In the dark time when great warring armies roamed the lands and the demon warlocks reigned…"


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

As Terkel continued his recitation, the last of the natural light faded and red fires lit up on torches mounted on the sides of the nearby buildings. A low yellow moon rose from the west to cast a milky light in the sky and Ship came into focus now as a dark hulking presence floating in the rippling water. Every so often, Picard glanced upward and saw that Shea still remained perched above on the upper deck rail watching them. Riker had taken a seat beside him on the ground, while Worf paced behind. Picard did his best to translate the tale as it was related by Terkel. He followed the events in the old stories for the most part, though much appeared fanciful or merely symbolic in nature, and he tried to make sense of it all in light of their recent experiences. He dearly hoped some of these teachings were outright lies. When Terkel finally finished, light from the oncoming sun illuminated the sky in violet tones and the moon had long ago left them behind in its orbit.

"Thank you, Terkel. We will return to our ship now. But we plan to travel to Trinora soon. Can you obtain mounts for us?"

"Of course." Terkel nodded. "How many do you require?"

He considered what Terkel had told him about Trinora in his tales. They had well over two hundred security personnel on board, all of whom had been undergoing extensive training in hand-to-hand combat under Shea's tutelage since being marooned on this world. Some would need to remain behind on Ship, the rest could accompany them.

"At least a hundred and fifty," he said. "More if you can get them."

The number seemed to take Terkel by surprise, but he answered calmly. "We will do what we can."

Picard, Riker and Worf climbed back up the long dark ramp and it split, curled up and dropped away behind them separating Ship from the pier. Shea was waiting.

"Did you learn anything useful" she asked.

"I learned that you can kill a man with a knife at nearly 20 meters," Picard replied with barely suppressed anger. "Did you shoot it from a cannon?"

"I had gravity working for me. Did you get it back? That was a good knife."

"That was probably a good man, as well."

"He wanted to kill you."

"I was prepared to deal with him. And I probably wouldn't have had to take his life, if you'd stayed out of it as I had asked you."

"You only asked me to stay on board. Which I did. And you're welcome even if you don't appreciate it. Think I'll go find someone who would." She gave him a dark look and stormed off toward the steps leading below.

"Behave yourself!" he warned as he watched her disappear below deck.

"You really think getting on her bad side is a good idea right now?" Riker asked.

"I really don't know what's a good idea right now. If there is any truth to what Terkel told us…" Picard shook his head.

"I wouldn't put much stock in his fairytales," Riker said. "I'm sure the majority of it was made up to scare people into submission. You saw what a ragged bunch they are. Half-starved, most of them."

"Yes, maybe we can do something about that, at least. Assuming our Chiefs of Engineering can get those replicators working."

"I'll find out how they're doing," Riker said and headed down the same stairs Shea had taken.

"Captain, if you don't mind, I should get some sleep," Worf stated.

"Yes, of course. Thank you, Mr. Worf. It's been a very long night."

He watched Worf leave and thought if he had any sense, he would try to get some rest as well. But somehow he doubted his mind would shut down long enough to permit it. Someone cleared his throat behind him. He turned to find a white robed Guardian standing there. "What the bloody hell?" he said. He was about to call security to evict the intruder when the man dropped his hood.

"Your people are hardly up to the task," Q said with the touch of a smile.

"I wondered when you'd show up."

"Now seemed like a good time. Now that you've heard the legends. So now, tell me what you think about all of this."

"I think I'm very weary of your games, Q."

"It's not a game, Jean-Luc. It's a lesson to be learned. Taught by an old friend."

"If you were a friend, you would simply tell me what you wish me to know. You wouldn't force us to crash our ships, risk our lives and maroon us all here just to make a point."

"No, no," Q wagged a finger at him. "If there is one thing I have learned about human beings is that words fall upon deaf ears. To truly understand something, you have to live it, experience it first hand with all the pain and pleasures that drive it home and make it real to you. Otherwise, it has no more impact than fairytales, as Riker so aptly put it."

"What is the nature of this underground fire Terkel speaks of, this source of all power?" Picard asked him. "Why was Shea so affected by it?"

"Why indeed? Quite a puzzle you have to solve, isn't it?"

"If you refuse to answer my questions, why are you here?"

"To see what kind of progress you're making, of course. Can't say I'm very impressed. Two little crystals? Pitiful."

"We'll be heading for Trinora soon. Apparently the great walled city is powered by them."

"Good. I wouldn't delay if I were you. I'm not the only one taking an interest in your progress here."

Q snapped his finger and disappeared. Picard sighed, glad to be rid of him on the one hand, but wishing he could have a real conversation with Q for just once. And Q's implication that another powerful entity was watching them was not lost on him. There was no doubt in his mind who that was.

By that afternoon, Scotty and Geordi reported that the food replicators were operational, and Dr. Bashir had two tricorders, a dermal regenerator and three biobeds up and running. Geordi also confessed that he had used a tiny part of one of the crystals to operate his ocular implants. "I'll need these working if I have any chance of repairing Data. Trouble is he needs a whole crystal all by himself, which we don't have."

"That's very disappointing," Shea said bitterly from the far side of the Quarterdeck.

"On the contrary," Picard told them. "You've done well getting our most vital equipment back online. Data will be safe enough here while we go to Trinora for more crystals."

Dr. Bashir arrived on scene and approached Shea. "Would you come to sickbay now? I would like to try treating that arm. The dermal regenerator should speed up the healing process."

"Fine," she grumbled and followed him. The two walked past Picard and the two Chiefs of Engineering.

"Best get that treated, lassie," Scotty said.

Geordi's newly operating implants focused on her as she went by. "Whoa! Wait a minute. Can I see that arm of yours?"

She paused, looking annoyed. "What?"

Geordi stared at the arm, then looked at Dr. Bashir. "Hey, Doc, would you mind holding off on that treatment. I think we might have something valuable here."

"What is it, Mr. La Forge?" Picard asked.

"I'm not exactly sure. But I think I'm detecting a radiation frequency pattern identical to that generated by the crystals. If I'm not mistaken, that same energy is in her arm."

"How do we get it out?"

"I'm pretty sure I could modify the bio-interface we designed for Ship and off load it into the replicator energy storage unit the same way we did with the crystals."

Shea pulled her arm away from his view. "Someone might want to ask me how I feel about off loading into a replicator."

"Oh sorry," Geordi said. "I didn't mean to… I was just thinking out loud."

Shea looked at her arm. "How much power do I have here? As much as a crystal holds?"

"I'd say at least that much."

"Enough to wake Data then."

Geordi nodded and smiled. "Yeah, I think so."

Shea stared at Picard waiting expectantly. Picard nodded. "How soon can you be ready, Mr. La Forge?"

"Give me an hour, then come to Engineering. I'll have it set up by then."

"Well, this should be interesting," Scotty said. He and Mr. La Forge headed off to Engineering together.

Shea and Picard remained on the Quarterdeck as the time passed, watching the water, or people on the pier, mostly in silence.

"Did you get any sleep?" she asked after awhile.

"Not yet. Too keyed up."

"Because of what Terkel told you?"

"In part."

"Now who's keeping secrets?"

"I'll explain later. I'm still trying to process all of this," he replied putting her off. "Let's head down. They should be close to being ready for you."

When they reached Engineering, Picard realized he hadn't been down here since they had crash landed in the ocean and Ship had undergone her metamorphosis into a seagoing vessel. It looked nothing like it had before. The engine core sat dead and empty. Instead of the deep hum of a Starship's engines, he heard the creak of an ocean going hull and the action of the waves beyond.

"Over here, Captain," Scotty called.

Data's inanimate body lay on a long table. Wires stretched from his opened cranium and the control panels in his chest. His yellow eyes stared up unblinking and frozen in place. The ends of the wires came to a metal cuff about the same width and length as Shea's arm. Geordi held the cuff in his hands as he explained to Shea what they were about to do.

"You can probably tell just by looking that we're going to place this around your forearm. Now when we hooked up an interface to the crystals, their contained energy simply flowed of its own accord, filling the larger empty storage unit much like water finding its own level. I'm hoping it will work the same way for the energy trapped in your arm." Geordi tapped the back of a chair placed next to Data. "Have a seat." Shea positioned herself in the chair and lay her dark arm on the table alongside Data. "This might sting a bit," Geordi warned her and pressed the cuff down and around her arm. She felt pinpricks of sharp needles trying to pierce her hardened flesh, but knew they merely pressed down upon it.

"Are those needles supposed to go through my skin?" she asked.

"I was hoping they would, but just being in contact may be enough." He looked at the cuff, and at Data and back again, checking the contacts. "Or maybe not. This doesn't seem to be working. I'm not seeing any energy transfer."

"The crystals are inanimate objects, with no opinion of their own. That isn't the case here," Picard observed. He thought of the fantastical stories Terkel had told him. "Maybe you have to want it to happen."

Shea scowled at him. "Of course, I want it. You know very well how much I want Data alive again."

"Try focusing. Concentrate. Feel what's inside you there and visualize it transferring to Data. You did something last night that should have been impossible. Remember how you felt when you threw that knife."

She shook her head but focused on her arm and Data, visualizing him fully alive again, animated, talking too much too fast, calculating, assessing, observing everything, recording everything, letting her mind come to a single point of concentration based on an urgent need to accomplish a goal of overwhelming importance, just as she had in the moment she had let that knife fly from her strange hand.

She felt that same tingle growing in her fingertips, sparks flying. She didn't need the damn cuff. She stood and slammed her glowing hand down directly on Data's opened chest. He gasped and sat up.

As glad as Picard felt to see Data awake, he was equally disturbed by how it was accomplished. What he had just witnessed confirmed much of what Terkel had told him.

Data blinked at them and looked about. "It appears I've missed some pertinent events."

"Aye, that you have," Scotty said. "Things have changed a bit around here."

"It appears that I have as well," Data noted seeing the wires streaming from his opened chest. Geordi began plucking them free. He closed up Data's exposed cranium and chest area. "How are feeling, Data?"

"Fully functional. Awake. And stimulated. Extremely stimulated." His head jerked about as he spoke, until he focused on Shea. "I apologize," he said and abruptly grabbed her and laid her bodily on the table next to him. "I recognize that my behavior is socially inappropriate," he said as he removed her clothing. Shea just laughed and let him. "I am pleased that I am not offending you," he told her.

"Well, I'm offended," Picard said.

"Again, my apologies. My immediate need has overwritten my programming on social etiquette and modesty," he explained matter-of-factly, not slowing in his attentions to Shea in the slightest.

"Good grief." Picard shook his head and turned away. "Come along you two," he said to Scotty and Geordi who were still watching. "Let's give them some privacy." He pushed them up the steps before him.

"Holy cow," Geordi said, peaking behind them.

"And some people think engineering is boring," Scotty said with a smile.

Picard made sure no one would go below to Engineering for the time being, then headed up to the main deck.

The two engineers watched him go. "So now what do we?" Geordi asked. "We're locked out for awhile it looks like."

"Any idea where a man can get a drink around here?" Scotty asked.

Geordi nodded. "With the replicators back, I understand Guinan has set up a bar again."

"Good. Let's share a pint and chat a bit. I was thinking now that you've witnessed one of the health benefits for senior staff on this ship, maybe I can talk you into joining us."

"You're kidding," Geordi said.

Scotty shook his head. "Why do you think I was so motivated to get back in shape? No man likes having to suck his gut in all the time around a woman like that."

"Must be difficult for Captain Picard."

"Aye. I suppose it might. It's not usually in his face that way. We try to be respectful and discrete."

Geordi shook his head. "Maybe we should ask him to join us. I bet he could really use a drink."

"Aye, he might at that. Let's ask him."

They found the captain standing along the rail on the main deck, staring out at the dark water, seemingly lost in thought.

"Captain," Scotty called to him. "Care to join us for a wee bit of the juice? Or better yet, we can all get steamin' drunk."

"Thank you, Mr. Scott, but…"

Geordi interrupted, "Guinan's set up a new bar, calling it Ten-Forward, of course. It's on the second deck below in the bow."

"Guinan?" Picard realized he hadn't spoken to her since that fateful night when she had offered her pithy advice to him to ask, just ask. Well, he'd asked for it all right. He had no one to blame but himself. He wondered what she would say to him now. "I'd love to join you." he said.

On the second deck, they headed for the bow and passed through a curtained off area. A group of Enterprise personnel greeted them with lifted glasses. "Welcome to Ten-Forward, Captain." Tables and benches lined the walls and most of them were filled with people talking and laughing. He heard piano music, a jazz tune and saw the player was someone from his own crew, one of Data's people. They found an open table. A moment later, Guinan hovered over them attentively.

"Hello gentlemen, Captain. What can I get for you this evening?"

"Your finest whisky all around," Scotty said. "And a beer to chase it down with."

Guinan looked at the Captain questioningly. "Fine. I'll have the same."

A few moments later, Guinan returned with amber filled shot glasses and frosted mugs of beer.

Scotty lifted his shot glass. "A toast." The other two lifted theirs. "To Shea, God bless her."

He downed the whisky while Picard stared at him. "Really, Mr. Scott. That's your toast?"

"Aye. I don't know about you, Captain, but I'm grateful for what I have every single day." He dragged his beer over in front of him. "We all knew what we were getting into. Just look at this ship of ours, look where we are. Seems hopeless, doesn't it? And I'm having the time of my life."

Picard shook his head, smiled back at him and downed the whisky. "Thanks for the peptalk. If you two will excuse me, I'm going to go bend Guinan's ear."

He grabbed his mug and went in search of Guinan. He found her standing behind a long tall table she had turned into a bar server. He sat down in front of her. "So, here we are again," he said. "How do you feel about my taking your suggestion to follow the more challenging path."

"Is that what I suggested?"

"You certainly inspired me to do so. Telling me all I need do is ask. I don't think I ever properly thanked you."

"You didn't say good-bye either."

"It appears I didn't need to."

"No. Our fates are intertwined."

"So it would seem. Guinan, you've lived a very long time and I know you experience the world in ways I don't fully comprehend. I'm wondering if you have any special insight to share about what's going on here. Q tells me there is a lesson to be learned."

"Yes," she agreed, "but I'm not sure the lesson is meant for you."

"Shea then?"

She nodded.

"He also indicated that D may be watching."

"Yes, I feel it. Be careful, Captain. Keep her close. I believe there is much at stake."

"Keeping her close is a little hard to do." He frowned and sighed. "Do you think I've made a mistake, Guinon? Am I simply an old fool, going through some mid-life crisis?"

She smiled. "It's hard to think of someone of your short years experiencing a mid-life crisis. But no, I think it has nothing to do with that. I think you did exactly what you needed to do. If there is one thing I've learned about you, Captain, is that you have an unerring sense of direction when it comes to determining exactly where you are most needed."

Guinan moved away to assist her other customers and Picard knew their conversation was over for now. He decided to rejoin Scotty and Geordi at their table. Time passed companionably. He listened to them comparing the benefits of working for Starfleet versus a rogue ship, and kept his opinions to himself.

"Hey there." Shea pulled a chair up beside him and dropped into it. "Look at my arm."

He saw the arm was back to its normal color. Only a shadow of black remained at the edges of her fingernails. "That's wonderful," he said, feeling an enormous sense of relief. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. Like a weight's been lifted. Not nearly so irritable. Course having Data back is a big load off my mind too." She looked around. "He followed me up here. Now where…" She spotted him standing on the far side of the room. "There he is. Data!" She waved him over. He held back for a moment then approached. "Come on now, it's all right. Nothing to be embarrassed about. Now sit down."

He did as he was told.

"I take it your social protocols are functioning again," Picard said, seeing that Data was keeping his eyes averted from his.

Data quickly glanced at him then away again. "Yes, Captain. Again, I must apologize for my behavior."

"Extenuating circumstances," Picard acknowledged. "Apology accepted."

Geordi looked around the table at the three men and Shea. "So then all of you… And if I were to… Then you and I would…" he gestured, pointing to each of them in turn ending up at Shea, who looked at him curiously.

"I've been trying to recruit Mr. La Forge," Scotty explained.

"Oh," Shea nodded in understanding now.

"I think it's time we all re-established our social protocols," Picard told them. "Change the subject."

"I would like to discuss our current status," Data ventured. "Shea has informed me of your intention to travel to a city known as Trinora to obtain additional crystals to repower our ships."

"Yes, I want to leave as soon as possible. Terkel, the leader of the Guardians, is obtaining mounts for us at my request. On foot the journey would take a week. On horseback, or whatever passes for one around here, we should make it in three days."

"I understand the local populace is hostile."

"We're working on that. I put Commander Troi in charge of food distribution. Now that we have the replicators working we should be able to supply a large number of them adequately. A full stomach is usually a friendlier one."

"So that's what Deanna was doing on the pier down there," Shea commented. "Good for her. Maybe now that my arm is healed, you'll let me give her a hand."

"I don't know about having their goddess passing out bags of food. They'll be expecting you to change their water supply into wine or something. Besides, you're going to have your hands full preparing for this overland journey of ours."

"How many of us are going?"

"Everyone we can spare. When we march on Trinora, we go in force. I want to be sure that they take us very seriously."

"Really? I would have thought a small raiding party. Get in and out fast. Try not to raise any alarms," she said.

"I would have thought so too until I talked to Terkel. Apparently the place is an armed fortress. Slipping in and out is virtually impossible. The only way in is to be invited."

"So you think if you show up with a small army, whoever is in charge will want to talk to you."

"Exactly."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"Don't let a few lessons in sword training go to your head, Deanna. You're just coming along to offer your usual empathic insight. If any conflict erupts, stay out of it," Riker told her firmly.

"I'm hardly looking for a fight," she replied, and turned back to the large four legged noral assigned to her. She patted the beast's long sloping neck hoping to win it over. The noral rolled its eyes at her and she sensed once again that the it didn't particularly like her. She knew it would prefer to be left alone to graze in the fields unencumbered by its saddle and her. These animals were tall and strong, all jutting bone and muscle, with long snouted heads held on wide necks, and thick coats heavily spotted in colors ranging from cream, to brown to black with dark fringe along their necks and tails. The noral's long tufted tail whipped about to swat Deanna on the backside, and she yelped.

"You have to take charge, Deanna," Shea told her again as she rode up to them. "Stop trying to befriend it. It's a beast of prey. You're a predator. Now mount up." Shea waited and watched until Deanna was in her saddle and holding the thick ropes tied to the animal's mouth.

As Shea galloped away, Riker watched and nodded approvingly. "See that?" he told Deanna. "That's how it's done. I hope you're paying attention. We have a long ride ahead of us."

Deanna glared at him.

Shea completed her inspection of the mounted troops, offering advice where needed. In addition to their own people, the Guardians had joined them as well as many of the local citizens. Picard had been reluctant at first, but then finally convinced of their absolute determination to follow their goddess no matter what, he had relented. The mounted force now numbered close to three hundred strong. Seeing all were ready, Shea gave Picard the signal. He raised his arm and moved them out.

As she looked down the long line of men and women riders trotting ahead, vague memories stirred in her again. The faces and uniforms were different, but the feeling, that was the same. This wasn't the first time she had been with an army on this world, but she could recall little else. The Guardians road toward the front of the line, while the citizen volunteers followed up the rear behind the security personnel. Shea noticed how much different the citizens behaved toward her than the Guardians. While the Guardians bowed and scraped, the citizens watched her with suspicion, and some stared openly, even defiantly. The Guardians had apologized over and over for such displays of disrespect.

"They do not deserve to accompany you," Terkel had told her. "But we may need their numbers."

Shea found it intriguing and despite warnings, she allowed her noral to slow until she came abreast with the citizen riders at the rear. None would look at her, except one young man to her right, who couldn't seem to help himself. He kept glancing in her direction. When she stared back he turned away. She studied him. His frame was thin but strong and broad. He had high cheek bones and a slightly hooked nose, dark of hair and eyes, with an olive toned complexion. The young woman rider beside him leaned forward and looked at her for a moment, then pulled back again. Shea noted a strong resemblance between the two. She moved alongside and walked her mount next to them.

"Are you brother and sister?" she asked. He nodded in response but did not answer. "What are your names?"

"Why would a goddess care to learn our names?" he asked.

"Why would you care to hide them?"

He glanced at her again. "I am Rinook. My sister is Renore."

"Why did you decide to join us in this journey?" she asked him.

"To see if the legends are true."

"And if they are?"

"Then we have hope."

"You have none now?"

"We are slaves to the flame and its demon horde. The Guardians have the power of the stones but the stones grows weaker… the blood has thinned."

"They don't have the stones in the temple anymore. I took them."

"Yes, we know. That is why we follow you."

"Sometimes I think your people revere the Guardians, at other times I think you hate them. Which is it?"

"It is both. We revere their teachings and know they serve a much needed purpose, but they abuse their power. There are those among us who would steal the stones for our own use and the Guardians' means of protecting them are harsh. Many of us have died at their hands. Including the man who was sacrificed to determine whether you and your companions were men or demon."

"I see. I'm sorry. I wish we would could have stopped it. Did you know him?"

Rinook hung his head and did not answer. His sister pulled her noral around and kicked it toward Shea. "He was our father!" she yelled.

"Rinore! Don't!" Her brother grabbed her reigns and held her back.

"You better be who they say you are," the girl snarled at her, "or I shall kill you myself!"

Rinook lifted his face to Shea at last. "So are you? Are you the demon Goddess?"

Shea looked back at them, seeing the tears in the girl's eyes and knew she and her brother, and probably all their people here were caught between rage and hope, torn with uncertainty. She wished she could give them the answer they wanted.

"We shall see," she said, and kicked her noral into a gallop toward the front of the long line of riders. When she reached Picard and the others she slowed and joined them.

Picard could feel her agitation. "What is it?" he asked.

"These people," she said. "They're expecting a lot. Or at least hoping for it. They're looking at me like I'm supposed to deliver and I don't even know what they're talking about. Those tall tales Terkel told you didn't make a lot of sense to any of us. Dark magic and demons and blood. What are we supposed to make of it?"

"Hard to say. We have a huge cultural gap to cross. I've set Data on it. He's learning the language and will commit the local folklore and legends to memory for analysis. Perhaps he can filter out the facts from the fantasy. One thing we do know is that you were adversely affected by that fire they keep referring to as the source of all power. Whatever we encounter, it is vital that you not make contact with it again."

"I know. You don't have to tell me again. It scared me too. I don't want anything to do with it, ever."

Picard's noral jostled him a bit and snorted. He pulled it back under control. "This is the oddest animal I've ever ridden. Acts more like a camel than a horse."

"At least it doesn't spit like a camel," Riker commented from the other side. "Stinks like one though."

"Be nice," Deanna said. "You'll hurt their feelings."

"You're telling me they speak Federation Standard?" Riker smiled at her.

"No," she laughed. "But they can pick up on our moods."

"Oh, so they're like you?" he smirked.

"Not like me. Animals are natural empaths on a very primitive level."

"Well, I don't know about that," Shea said, "but these things sure can run. I wonder what hunts them? It has to be either faster or bigger or both." The others looked at her. "There's always a pecking order, you know."

The dry countryside rolled out before them as they rode on. Much of the land looked like farmlands fallen on hard times. "No wonder they're half-starved," Picard said to her. He turned to Terkel who rode behind them. "When is the last time it rained around here?" he asked in the native tongue.

"Months," Terkel replied. "The fires burn ever higher and longer in the north. Our weather has changed and our growing season has shortened. It gets worse each year."

Every two hours, they stopped to stretch their legs and take a short break. Riding was a new activity that few among them were used to. Muscles cramped, backs ached and blisters began forming in sensitive places. By the time they found a large enough clearing to accommodate them for the night, people were more than ready to make camp. Dr. Bashir and his team had their work cut out for them tending to sore muscles and skin rubbed raw.

"I sure hope no one challenges us," Riker groaned as he gently lowered himself to the ground before their shared fire. "Most of us can hardly walk." He cleared the ground for Deanna to sit beside him. "Ow," she said and grimaced.

"First day's always the worst," Shea said. "Well… actually that's not quite true. Tomorrow morning, when you have to get back on… that'll be the worst. Then it should get better."

"We may be sore, but we're making good progress," Picard said. "We should arrive in Trinora within the three days we planned."

They heard snorting and pawing in the field beyond. "Must be a predator nearby," Shea said. "They're nervous."

"We have guards posted around them," Riker reminded her.

"Any Klingons?"

Riker shook his head no. "They're standing guard along the camp perimeter."

Shea listened to the pawing, snorts and whistled warnings of the herd of norals. She stood and peered into the dark. "Think I'll go take a look."

"Not by yourself," Picard said. "Take someone with you."

"I'll go," Deanna said and started to get up, making a pained face as she did so.

"No, you take it easy. I'll go," Riker said, and slowly pushed himself to his feet.

"Well, you're going to be a lot of help," Shea said.

"I just need to stretch a little. Don't worry about me."

Shea headed into the dark in the direction of their herd, certain now that something was stalking them. She heard Riker limping along behind her. When they got about twenty yards, he had fallen behind considerably. "Slow down," he called. She sighed and waited for him to catch up.

"Sorry," he said. "Guess I'm stiffer than I realized."

She was sorely tempted to make an off-color remark, but restrained herself. "Look, if you can't keep up, go back. I'll be fine."

"We all agreed. We stay in groups of two or more. Nobody ventures off alone."

"Then let me relieve your pain so you can be useful."

"Oh no. No way. Deanna would not approve."

"She wouldn't approve of your feeling better?"

"She wouldn't approve of the way you would accomplish it."

"I don't have to have sex with you. I do that because I like it, not because it's necessary."

"Then what is necessary, exactly?"

"Just let me put my hands on you."

"Put your hands on me where?" he asked suspiciously.

"Your chest will do."

"That's all?"

"You're beginning to annoy me. Now either let me heal you, or I'm leaving you behind."

Riker considered his options. Let her touch him, or go back to Picard and explain why he'd lost her.

"Fine," he said. "You can put your hands on my chest." She stepped towards him. "But that's all!"

"Oh for pity's sake." She pulled his shirt loose, and shoved her hands up it to press against his bare flesh. She focused her attention on him feeling him tense and resist for a moment, but as she spread her healing warmth into him he relaxed and sighed. She visualized the tiny tears in his muscles and his bruised back, seeing them heal in her mind. She felt his hands on her now, pulling her closer. She pushed him away from her and let the cold air hit him. He inhaled sharply as if coming out of a dream.

"Better?" she asked. "Think you can keep up?"

He moved experimentally. "Yeah. I think so."

"Let's go. Whatever is out there is getting close." She picked up the pace. Riker stayed with her. The half moon offered enough light to cast soft shadows around them. She headed for the high ground above the field where their norals were tied. She saw four Starfleet security officers below walking the perimeter of the herd. And moving in between she saw one large shadow, creeping along the ground. Then another following behind. Three more appeared, spreading out. It was a pack, coordinating an attack.

"What are those things?" Riker asked.

"I don't know, but they're after our norals."

"We need to warn the guards." Riker went to yell at them.

"Wait. If we panic the herd, we'll have a mess on our hands. Let's see if I can lure those things away."

She put her hands to her mouth and began to whistle and whinny mimicking an injured noral. The shadows paused in their movement toward the herd. She whistled again. The shadows turned and moved in Shea's direction.

"It's working," Riker said.

"Yes, it is," she agreed and pulled her sword from its sheath. She didn't hear the same from Riker. "You did bring a weapon?"

"Actually, I…"

"That's just great." The shadows were up and trotting now. "You can still make it to the guards. Please come back with a sword in your hand."

Riker darted off to the left. One of the shadows heard him and started to veer in his direction. Shea whistled again plaintively, pulling its attention back to her. In a moment, they would be on her. She debated whether to run or make a stand. She had no idea how fast they were or what they would do when they saw she was not a noral, but she had the high ground. Normally, she would fight where she stood, but she felt she was still too close to the herd. If she and these things started to snarl at each other, she had no doubt the norals would panic. They couldn't afford to lose any of them.

So, she ran.

Riker sprinted to the nearest guard and grabbed his sword. "Get another one and follow me!" He charged back up the hill, thinking he would be coming in behind the predators headed in Shea's direction. When he got to the crest of the hill where he had left her, he looked around and saw no one there. He listened hard, trying to figure out which way she had gone, but there was only silence.

The guard he had ordered to follow him, came up from behind, with a new blade in his hand. "What's going on?" he asked. Riker just shook his head, wishing he knew.

When Riker returned to the camp fire, Picard looked up at him. Seeing the look on Riker's face he jumped to his feet. "What's happened? Where's Shea?"

"I don't know. We couldn't find her. She lured away some predators that were stalking the herd. We searched, but it's too dark out there."

Picard reached out in his mind calling to her. The connection remained, but there was no response. He tried again.

"I'm right here," came her answer. She was dragging something large behind her. "Thought you all might be interested in seeing this."

Picard stepped over to take a look. The animal was about twice the size of a wolf, with a wide flat head , fangs, frontal eyes, a pair of tall pointed ears and four clawed feet.

"You killed it?" Riker asked.

"No, it committed suicide. Oddest thing."

"Funny. So what about the rest of them?"

"They ran off. I wasn't what they were expecting."

Terkel came over and looked at the creature Shea had dragged in. "This is a thoranta," he said. "A fierce hunter. They never used to come this far south. Hunger drives them out of their lands."

"They have my sympathy, but we can't very well afford to feed them our norals," Picard said. "We'll need more guards at night. And I want our people to see this thing so they know what to watch for."

"I'll see to it," Riker said.

As the dead thoranta was lifted and carried off, a sad howling could be heard in the distance.

"I killed her mate," Shea sighed. "This is all so wrong. The thorantas should be hunting in the great forests, not here scavenging for food, going after farm animals, coming into our camp. They were desperate. Just like these people."

"Sounds like you're remembering," Picard said.

"Not enough." She shook her head. "It's like a huge black wall, I can't get past. I get a chink broken out of it here and there, but not enough to make sense."

She grew quiet and Picard felt he had no words to offer in comfort. From the local citizens' section of the camp, they could hear someone playing stringed instruments and drums. After awhile, a few thin voices joined the music. Picard listened, trying to make out the words.

"I know this song," she said with a surprised smile. She closed her eyes and began to sing along, soft and tentative at first, then louder and more certain. She sang of perseverance in the face of overwhelming odds, and her strong clear voice cut through the night. The music continued as she sang, but the other voices faded away and Picard knew they were listening to her now. She came to the end of the song, and fell silent along with the music.

A moment later, the drums began again, pounding hard and fast, and now hundreds of voices joined in, chanting her name and calling for deliverance. Her eyes grew wide and Picard could feel panic rising in her, and a desire to run. He put his arms around her and held on.

"It's going to be all right," he said determinedly. "We'll figure this out. We always do."

The chanting continued and he kept repeating the same message in his mind, _It's going to be all right,_ and he didn't stop until they both believed it… almost.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Riker hated to admit it, but Shea had made him feel a whole lot better. When everyone around him had bitched and moaned climbing back on their norals this morning, it hadn't bothered him in the slightest. He saw Deanna shift in her saddle again, grimacing. He patted her leg.

"It'll get better," he told her.

She looked at him closely. "Aren't you sore?"

"Oh yeah. My back's bad, really bad," he nodded and pretended to stretch it.

"Will Riker, you're lying," she accused him. "You were hurting as much as I was yesterday. What did you do?"

"Dr. Bashir is a really good doctor," he told her.

"He's not that good. And we all got the same treatment. So tell me how come you're just fine today?"

Shea, who was riding ahead of them, twisted in her saddle and looked back. "Yeah, Will. How come?"

He gave her a dirty look. Deanna looked from one to the other and scowled. Shea winked at her and turned back.

"Why do you do that?" Picard asked her.

"Because I can," she said with a smile. He shook his head and sighed, which only made her smile more.

"There's the village Terkel told us about," Picard said, as grass covered rooftops came into view over the next crest in the road. Shea's smile went away.

"We could have gone around," she reminded him again.

"And it would have cost us another day's ride," he reminded her again. "His people should have arrived there by now. They'll gain us safe passage."

"That's not what I'm worried about."

A grain filled wagon came into view coming toward them with two norals pulling it. The driver took one look at the oncoming army, turned his norals around and whipped them in the opposite direction.

"Maybe I should get behind the Guardians, not be riding out in front like this."

"No," Picard answered. "Stay here. It's what's expected of you. We don't want to disappoint them."

"No, of course not." She frowned at him. "This is a dangerous game we're playing."

"Perhaps, but it's the best move we have at the moment. If you come up with a better one, please let me know."

"Where's Data? I thought he was trying to make some sense of all this."

"Still researching. Interviewing the locals. You know how thorough he can be."

The village was coming into view now. Spreading out from the both sides of the road, fancifully painted wooden structures with thatched roofs and smoking chimneys, piled against each other like mismatched boxes. They could see people lining the center street as if called to witness a parade.

"Looks like they're expecting us," Picard said. "Take the lead," he told her and pulled his noral back enough that he fell a half step behind.

"I'm really not happy about this," she said. And then she was surrounded by them, calling to her, smiling, cheering, touching her feet and legs as she passed. They did not impede her progress, but many ran alongside. She pressed her noral into a trot. She would have liked to gallop her way out of here, but didn't dare. She might trample one of these poor deluded souls. The crowd thickened and she was forced back to a walk. A voice in the crowd stood out from the rest in its tone. This woman wasn't cheering, she was wailing. Shea looked to the source and saw a woman running towards her with a small limp child in her arms. _Oh no_, she thought. The woman held the child up to her, begging her to save him, just as she had feared. She looked away.

Picard trotted up beside her. "Is the child dead?"

She glanced back down at him. "No, I can see him breathing… barely."

"Can you help him?"

"You're not serious," she snapped at him. She twisted back and yelled, "Get Dr. Bashir. He's needed up front." She could hear the word go back through the lines. She tried to avoid the woman's eyes as she continued to run beside her, to beg and hold her child aloft, but Shea could see that she was tiring. Despite her misgivings, she reached down and touched the boy's head and chest, feeling the raging fever and knew immediately that he was close to death. She looked back hoping to see Bashir, but as yet there was no sign of him. She sighed. "I'm probably going to regret this." She took the boy from his mother, held him close, concentrating her healing warmth, and breathed it into him. His eyes fluttered and opened.

"It's a miracle!"

She turned angrily, but it wasn't Picard's face she saw. It was Q riding beside her.

"Congratulations, Goddess."

She very much wanted to throw something at him, but the only thing she held was the child. Dr. Bashir rode up from behind her. "I was all the way in the back," he said breathlessly. He pulled out his medical tricorder to scan the boy. "Hmmm… there's evidence of a recent bacterial infection, but it seems mostly cleared up. Just to be on the safe side, I'll give him a long acting antibiotic. Should take care of it." He pressed a hypospray to the boy's arm who cried out at the sting. The mother heard, only now realizing her boy lived. She reached out for her child, ecstatic. Shea handed him back. The people's voices grew louder and they pressed even closer now.

She'd had enough. Enough of them, enough of Q. She pulled her sword high and screamed a feral roar. The adulation turned to fear and they ran from her. "Clear the way," she ordered and kicked her noral into a gallop, running full out, cutting corners and spurring the noral to leap over anything in their path, until finally she left the town and it's people and her own far behind.

She kept going, ignoring the calls of Picard coming into her mind. He didn't need her. He only wanted to tell her what to do. She blocked him completely, and focused on the road, the rhythmic pounding hooves of the noral beneath her, and its hard steady breathing, letting it fill her like a meditation, calming her. When the noral started to tire, she put a hand on it and lent it some of her energy. She needed to put distance between her and everyone else. She needed time alone to calm down and think.

"Damn it," Picard cursed as he watched her ride away. He soon felt her put up a mental barrier between them. He hoped she would pull up and wait for them once she cleared the crowd and the village. He moved his people through the crowded winding street as quickly as he could without endangering anyone. When he reached the outskirts, she was nowhere to be seen. The empty road to Trinora stretched before him through open farmlands until it fell from view.

"That wasn't very smart of you, now was it?" Q said, having suddenly appeared riding a noral alongside Picard. Again Q wore the white robe of the Guardians.

"No, I don't suppose it was," Picard had to agree. He hadn't appreciated just how much this was bothering her. She was so good at covering up any signs of worry or distress.

"It's up to you to keep her under control. We're counting on you, Captain."

"Who's we?" Picard asked, but Q was already gone.

Picard led the mounted troops on, moving at a trotting pace, hoping to cover ground a little more quickly and catch up to her. Two hours later there was still no sign of her. The gently rolling farmlands had fallen away from them and they were traveling through a lightly forested area. There was water here, streams trickled by alongside them.

"It will be night soon," Riker warned him. "We better look for a place to camp."

Picard knew he was right, but he hated the thought of stopping before finding Shea. He decided to push them on a little farther. "We have a good hour of light left," he said. "Perhaps we can find a better place ahead."

After awhile, Data came alongside him. "Captain, I have completed my research and am ready to make a full report on my findings."

"Excellent. I'm eager to hear it. When we make camp, you can tell us what you found."

"Will Shea be joining us?"

"I hope so."

"As do I. It is very important that she hear what I have to say," Data replied. A moment later he seemed to see something and pointed ahead. "There appears to be one of our knives protruding from that tree 14.3 meters to your right."

It took Picard a moment but then he saw it too and recognized the tritanium bladed knife as one of their own. Shea must have left it there for them. He looked about and saw that the ground here was level and well suited to accommodate them.

"Will! How about this spot for the night?"

Riker nodded as he scanned the area. "Looks good to me." He raised his arm and shouted back to the others. "Make camp!"

As the sun lowered, the temperature dropped rapidly. Tents went up and fires were started in small hand dug pits. Picard unrolled his sleeping bag inside his small tent. Once unrolled the bag was designed to suck in outside air to insulate the body from the hard ground. While it hardly compared to a real bed, it wasn't bad. Still, it would be a cold empty place for him if Shea didn't come back tonight. He thought of Data and the report he was ready to make, and went to look for him. He found Data assisting others in their preparations for the night.

"Let's gather the senior staff and hear that report of yours, Data."

"Has Shea returned, Captain?"

Picard shook his head. "No, not yet. I think she's very upset. We may not see her for awhile."

"As I stated previously, I believe it is vital that Shea be apprised of my findings and offer additional input for verification. With your permission I would like to go in search of her."

"How do you propose to find her in the dark out there. We have no idea which way she went."

"I have a working theory. Shea tends to go to the highest ground and I noticed a cliff not far from us. Additionally, I intend to take Mr. La Forge with me. His ocular implants detect thermal energy and I have excellent night vision. Between the two of us, I believe we can find her."

"Very well, Mr. Data. Make it so."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Shea sat on the edge of a cliff overlooking the valley below. She could see the light of the campfires among the trees in the distance. Part of her mind nagged her to act responsibly, to return to them, and be of help, but the voice was still small, and sitting up here alone in the cold night air felt so peaceful it was easy to ignore it. Since the moment she had sat here she had been concentrating on the black wall in her mind that divided her memories of this world from her conscious recollection. For the last few hours she had done nothing but concentrate on getting past it. She'd had little success. Disjointed images would come to her and quickly vanish. The wall was so impenetrable, and implacable that it was hard to believe she had done this to herself. Perhaps she hadn't. But that was an even bigger wall to tackle.

She could hear her noral behind her, grazing on tufts of grass, the metal parts of its harness clinking softly. Then not far away she heard hooves and a noral below the cliff snuffled. Her noral's head came up and whistled in recognition. "Shush!" she told it, but the damage was done. Someone was coming up here. She listened to the individual's approach and waited.

"May I join you?" Data asked

"If you must."

He came over and sat beside her letting his feet dangle next to hers. He looked out at the night scene with the softly glowing tents and fires below. "An excellent view," he observed.

"Did you come here to keep me company?"

"In truth I did not. Though keeping you company would be an excellent reason in of itself. I came here for you because it is time for me to impart the information I have discovered in my research on the religious beliefs and folklore of the local inhabitants. Captain Picard and the senior personnel await my report, but I felt it imperative that you be present."

"Yes, it is" she said, her attention on high alert now. "I need to hear this. What can you tell me?"

"A great deal and it will take some time. For the sake of expediency it would be preferable if I only had to tell it once. Would you please return to camp with me?"

She nodded and got up. "All right, let's go." She got back on her noral and rode down the side of the steep hill to the bottom, where Geordi waited with two more mounts.

"I wasn't sure they could make it up there," he said.

"You underestimate them," she replied.

The three riders returned to the camp together. When she saw Picard, she lowered her mental barrier and felt his relief flood into her. She smiled apologetically in response, recognizing how much she had alarmed him. She dismounted and let one of the crew take her noral away.

"Sorry," she said simply to Picard, "I just needed some time alone."

He nodded. "I understand. Let's join the others now. They're waiting for us."

When she got to their campfire, she found it encircled by Riker, Troi, Bashir, Chorak, and Worf. With Data and La Forge joining them, they had all the senior staff accounted for other than Scotty and Dr. Crusher who of course had stayed behind with Ship. Shea and Picard sat down with them, completing the circle.

"Well, isn't this cozy," she said. "All we need now are marshmallows."

"Right," Geordi agreed. "Roasted marshmallows are the best. Have you tried them with chocolate and graham crackers? What I wouldn't give for somemores right now."

"How can you have some more when you haven't had any as yet?" Data inquired.

"I'd settle just for the chocolate," Deanna said. "I miss chocolate."

"I miss anything that doesn't require chewing a hundred times," Bashir commented.

Worf and Chorak exchanged looks.

"Obviously, they do not understand what it means to live on Klingon camp rations," Worf stated. "You do not appreciate how easy you have it."

"You actually like this replicated dried jerky we're living on?" Riker asked.

"It is delicious."

"I'll never understand the Klingon palate."

"If everyone's finished complaining," Picard interrupted. "I believe Mr. Data has information for us. Please proceed, Data."

"Yes, sir. As you know, I have been researching the history and beliefs of these people in regard to their goddess. I have interviewed the locals, including the Guardians, the citizens from Betu Ganstin and today several from the village we just encountered, who followed us here. There was a great deal of information to process. The Guardian's oral history alone took over nine hours to relate without pause for breath."

"Yes, I know," Picard replied. "Terkel recited it to us. Unfortunately, a lot of it didn't make sense to us, being riddled with poetry and symbolic representations that seemed culturally specific. I am hoping you have been able to cut through to the bare facts."

"That was my intention. I have compared the common elements and eliminated the more fanciful versions to come up with a coherent tale that appears to be consistent in the telling and does not contradict anything we have discovered to date. I will summarize these events as succinctly as possible.

The story begins two hundred and fifty-six years ago, when a great ball of fire was seen streaking across the sky and falling into the ocean. The local inhabitants believed it to be an omen and it was subject to much conjecture Shortly thereafter, fishermen reported seeing a strange woman in the deep ocean, and believed her to be a mermaid, a witch or a siren. None would venture near, despite her waving and calling to them. Within a short time, she took control of a pirate ship. How this was accomplished is unclear, but it is clear that this ship soon became a problem for ocean going trade. At that time, the lands were divided into fiefdoms ruled by various kings and chieftains, one of which offered a large reward to anyone willing to capture or kill the sea witch.

In response, a local bounty hunter tracked her down, and through a combination of trickery and skill, managed to capture her. It is said that she was so impressed by this man, that she wooed him. By the time she and this man reached the land of the king who had offered the reward, he was no longer interested in the reward and refused to turn her over for execution."

Data paused in his storytelling and turned to Shea. "Does any of this sound familiar to you?"

"It's not ringing any bells so far," she answered.

"I was told that you recalled a prior ship, one with red sails."

"Um, yeah. I guess I did say that. I got a brief image in my mind, but then it was gone again."

Data cocked his head. "Curious. You normally retain accurate memories of events and I seldom find that I need to point out discrepancies. However, I was aware of your current difficulties so I came prepared. Are you willing to participate in an experiment that may assist your recollection?"

"I guess so. What did you have in mind?"

"This," he said and plunked a large flask in front of her. "In this container is approximately 1.4 liters of a mildly hallucinogenic alcohol based fluid imbibed in small quantities by the Guardians and local citizens for purposes of religious rites and/or inebriation. It is said to be mind-expanding. I would you like you to drink it. All of it, quickly, before your metabolism can compensate."

"All of it? You want me to get drunk?"

"That is correct."

"Wow," she laughed.

"Data, I'm not sure this is a good idea," Picard cautioned.

"He's right, you know." Shea agreed.

"I am aware of that," Data acknowledged. "Nevertheless, I ask that you do so. I believe it will be beneficial to our endeavor and I am prepared to restrain you if necessary."

"Are you now?" she smiled at him. She grabbed the flask, uncorked it, sniffed and wrinkled her nose at it. "Phew, that's strong."

"I believe it will be sufficient for our purpose."

She sighed and held the flask up to Picard. "Shall I?"

He hesitated, considering the possible consequences, but they desperately needed to make some headway in getting her to remember. Finally, he nodded and offered a half-smile. "Bottoms up."

"Aye aye, Captain." She put the flask to her lips and drank. She choked on it at first, then shuddered. "You sure they drink this stuff of their own free will?"

"I am sure," Data replied and tilted the flask toward her.

"Okay, okay." She chugged it for a few moments before stopping.

Data pushed it toward her again. "More."

"Do you want me to get sick?"

"You will not get sick. You never get sick. Keep drinking," he insisted.

She gave him a baleful look but lifted the flask and drank until she had to stop for breath. She stared at him, woozy now.

"I believe the fire in the sky was your starship burning up on entry to this planet," Data stated. "We're you alone when you crashed?"

She gave him a dark look. "No."

"I take it your companions died, but you survived."

"Not for awhile."

"You regenerated," Picard said. She didn't answer.

"Tell us about the ocean going vessel. The one with the red sails." Data said.

She took another swig and nodded. "Black stripes on red sails. She was a pretty sight, fast too. We could outrun the best of them."

"How did you get on board when no one would stop for you?"

"Snuck on in the middle of the night, when they were becalmed. They tried to throw me off the next morning. We ended up in a stalemate, me at one end of the ship, them at the other. They finally gave up and went back to sailing their ship keeping a wary eye on me. I sat there for many days watching and listening."

Whenever she paused in her story, Data encouraged her to drink more.

"After awhile I tried to win them over by helping out. Caught fish. Fought next to them when they were up to their pirating ways, but otherwise kept to myself and observed. They kind of grew used to me and most of them seemed all right except for their captain, a tool of King Fareek who took half the profits of anything they stole. This king's captain was a nasty piece of work. Vicious and tyrannical. He kept order by flogging and keelhauling anyone that spoke out of turn or simply annoyed him. I stayed out of it, until one day he pulled his cabin boy up from below and tied the keelhaul straps to him. At that point, I decided a change in command was in everyone's best interest."

"You took over?"

She nodded. "I knew the language by then. I suggested we stop sharing our loot with King Fareek and giving his ships safe passage. They liked the idea. They liked it a lot." She took another swallow. "You know, this stuff's not so bad." She looked around at the group and focused on Riker. "You're not so bad, either." She patted him on the knee. He pulled away and Data tapped her arm to bring her attention back to him.

"What?" she asked irritably.

"You were telling us about your pirating days. How long was that?"

"Hmmm… 'bout a year I think. Did I tell you we changed her name? The Seawitch. And I had new colors made. A big black Jolly Roger with snakes coming out of the skull's head like Medusa. When they saw us bearing down on them, they'd throw their swords into the sea and give up." She chuckled at the memory.

"Until you were captured. Do you remember that?"

She nodded and took another swig. "Strange night. An odd mist overcame the ship, knocked us out cold. When I woke up the crew was dead and I was in irons. Didn't know what the hell had happened. Turned out it was a bounty hunter armed with a witch's spell."

"A witch's spell?"

"That's what he said."

"So this bounty hunter who came after you - what do you remember about him?"

"Everything." She closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them, she drank again until she finished off the bottle. "You got any more of this stuff?"

Data produced a second flask. She uncorked it and tasted the contents. "Mmmm… even better. So what was I saying?"

"You were telling us about the bounty hunter."

"Right. Naroth. A big powerful man, all muscle. A lot like you, Chorak. You know that's probably why I picked you, come to think of it. You remind me of him. Except for the Klingon part, of course. He was quite the tactician too. Hell, he outsmarted me."

"So you aligned yourself with him."

"Aligned." She giggled and put her hands parallel to each other until they met. "Good a word for it as any, I guess."

"What happened when King Fareek demanded you be turned over to him for execution?"

"What happened, what happened?" She puzzled for a moment and drank some more. "Oh yeah. Naroth killed him on the spot, put the crown on his head and claimed the throne by right. It was quite shocking, really. Turned out, that's how it's done here. You just have to be stronger, faster and smarter than the next guy. And of course, his being _aligned_ with me gave him an extra boost in the faster and stronger department. King Fareek made the mistake of letting Naroth get a little too close, and boom, it was all over. Now how the hell could I have forgotten that?"

"Is that when you became his queen?"

"His queen?" She made a rude noise. "No, I was his consort. The late king's widow was his queen, just as she had planned. It was she who'd suggested Norath could get close to Fareek by capturing me and gave him the knock out mist. Naturally, Naroth felt indebted to her, but he was also unwilling to give me up. That was one pissed off queen."

"It is said that people claimed she was a witch." Data said.

"That's right. They did. I'd forgotten. She had this mysterious skill. She could manipulate objects and harm people from afar. She claimed it couldn't be taught."

"So how did she manage it?" Data urged her on.

"I wasn't sure at first. I sensed she was telepathic, but that didn't explain much. I pretended to be afraid of her on the one hand and then behaved rudely to egg her on, hoping she would try to frighten me into leaving. She took me into the temple one day and stood before the holy flame. You know, like the one in the temple in Betu Ganstin. She used a crystal she wore around her neck to capture and direct its energy, exploding things all around me. I'm sure she wanted to kill me right then, but held off because it would have incurred Norath's wrath."

"You learned to control the flame's energy as well, didn't you?"

"Not right away. First I had to find one of those crystals, and that took awhile. I searched the land, the mines and sifted through the bazaars hoping to find one. One day, a trader came through with his wares claiming to have items with magical powers. Most of it was junk, but among the baubles I discovered a crystal like hers. I paid him what he wanted. Then whenever I could sneak into the temple undetected, I attempted it to do what she had done. At first I had no success, then just a hint of something, then a little more. I practiced in secret as often as I could. I was just a neophyte, but when she caught me at it one day, I had gained enough skill to send her packing."

"That's when people began calling you the King's Sorceress."

"Oh yeah. I remember now. Funny thing." She drank more and her stare drifted.

"So then what happened?" Data nudged her. "With Norath."

"Oh, well, he had this grand vision. He wanted to unite all the kingdoms under one ruler. Himself, of course. He was a dynamic leader and able to convince many to join him in his cause. He thought my skill with the fire would come in handy so he took me along. He'd have me demonstrate and some of the less well defended cities simply surrendered. Others put up a hell of a fight. We lost a few battles, but Norath's forces always won in the end. As each town and city fell under siege or capitulated at the mere threat of it, he recruited more and more fighters. His army grew ever larger into thousands upon thousands. And we would march on to the next and the next. The campaign and the fighting went on for years. Finally the last holdout fell and there were no more cities to conquer."

"Is that when the seat of power was established in Trinora?"

"Trinora, yes. I had wondered what Norath would do with himself without a war on his hands. But he seemed relieved. He turned his attention to restoring peace and rebuilding the country's infrastructure. Under his rule, he established new laws that applied equally to all citizens, issued currency, built roads connecting the towns, encouraged free trade, financed farming and businesses. He employed the army in policing, and labor in the reconstruction efforts. He turned out to be an excellent king and his subjects learned to love him."

"Did you learn to love him?" Deanna asked.

"I did," she admitted. Then she drank some more.

"What was your role at this time?" Data asked.

"I was the King's Sorceress. People feared me. I kept him safe and he consulted with me on matters of state. So when it came time for him to pick a queen, naturally he asked me to find him a suitable candidate." She took a big swig. "That sucked."

"And did you find him one?"

"Nope. I found him three. Lovely ladies, all of them, well-liked, well-connected. All very suitable." She paused to drink a lot more before continuing. "He picked the blonde blue-eyed one, the daughter of one of the kings he'd killed. To her credit, she didn't seem to hold it against him. They planned a wedding in her native city in the northern lands - a huge over the top celebration. He even asked me provide fireworks. Cute, huh?"

Data looked puzzled. "I do not recall any mention of such a wedding taking place."

"That's because it got cancelled at the last minute. Quite abruptly."

"Was that your doing?" Picard asked.

"No," she answered, clearly offended. "I don't cancel people's weddings if that's their choice," she said and swept a hand toward Riker and Deanna, "no matter how stupid I think it is."

"And I don't care how drunk you are," Deanna said. "That's just rude."

Shea regarded her for a moment, then waved a finger at her. "You're right. You're absolutely right. Honesty is not always the best policy. Truth is almost always rude and should be avoided whenever possible. Sorry."

"What kind of apology was that?" Deanna asked.

"An honest one, apparently," Riker replied.

"What are we accomplishing here?" Deanna asked Captain Picard.

"Trying to understand what we're up against. Please be patient." Picard replied, then returned his attention to Shea in her inebriated state, "If you did not cancel this wedding you described, then what did?"

"We were attacked. Nobody saw it coming, least of all me. All that talk of demons to the north. Who took it seriously? Old wives tales, right? We were done fighting. We'd only brought along a small force with us for the wedding. More for show than anything else. And then these demons came in the night - thousands of them. They dragged people away screaming, stole horses, livestock, anything and anyone with a pulse was up for grabs. We fought them but there were so many we finally took refuge in the local temple and I used the holy fire to seal us off. We survived the night there, but when morning came, there was little left to recover or protect. We fell back, regrouped and went south to Trinora, gathering up as many of Norath's troops along the way as we could. People from the countryside were warned and most of them took refuge within the walls of the city. Those that didn't disappeared in the night. Now it was our turn to be under siege."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Picard, his officers and those of the Enterprise fell silent for moment, considering the tale Shea had related to them in her drunken state. A tale filled with pirates and kings and witches and dark demon hordes attacking in the night. She seemed utterly sincere in the telling but it was still difficult to swallow, especially since clearly she wasn't in her right mind. Nevertheless, this was the closest they'd come to prying an actual memory of this world from her. Picard decided to press on.

"Tell us what you know about these demons," Picard instructed her.

"Not much. They're sort of human like in that they have four limbs and a head and walk upright, but the resemblance pretty much ends there. They don't seem to have any discernible facial features, no eyes, nose or mouth that I ever saw. They're smaller than we are, pitch black in color and hard as granite. Very tough to kill or even injure, and so single minded that I wondered if they had any individual identity."

"Did you have any defense against them?"

"Fire. Heat and light sent them running. We torched the fields. Shot flaming arrows. Heated our swords and knives. When red hot, blades could slice right through them. My crystal was also very effective at driving them back."

"How long did this siege last?"

"Thirty nights, then it stopped. We didn't know when or if they would be back. We used the quiet time to shore up our defenses. I went in search of more crystals that could retain and direct the power of the flames. That's when I started touching the flame and blackening my hands. The crystals would light when I drew near. We found deposits of them in the mines next to the metals they'd been dug for originally. I had our miners recover as much of it as we could and bring it into the city. I would download energy into the crystals and distribute them to our defensive positions. We created a continuous barrier of light and heat all around the city. When the demons returned six months later, it kept them at bay. As long as people remained within the city walls, they were safe. The sieges turned out to be seasonal, occurring at the summer and winter equinoxes, always lasting for thirty nights."

"Is this when people started calling you Goddess?" Data asked.

She made another rude noise. "No. They never called me that. They did start acting a little nicer though. Norath stopped keeping me under wraps and was even willing to be seen with me in public. I could walk the streets undisguised and be treated with respect."

"I'm curious what happened to Norath's bride to be," Deanna said. "Was she killed in these attacks?"

"No, she made it out of there with us, alive and well. But Norath lost interest in marrying her. There was no longer any political advantage to be gained. I think she finally took up with the Captain of the Guard or somebody. I'm not really sure, why?"

"Just wanted to know how you dealt with your rivals?"

"Hey, you're still walking around, aren't you?"

"Let's stay on topic, shall we?" Picard interrupted. "So these demons returned, you say?"

"Every year, twice a year, like clockwork."

"Data, when is the next Equinox?"

"Five days from today."

"Sounds like we may need to get our people behind those walls before then," Picard concluded.

Shea nodded. "I'd definitely recommend it." She lifted the bottle again and found it empty. "Shoot." She looked at Data expectantly.

"I think you have consumed enough for one evening," he told her.

"Says who?" She turned away and called out, "Terkel!"

The head Guardian appeared almost instantly. Shea waved the empty flask at him. "Bring me another," she told him in his language.

"I do not think that is wise," Data told her. When Terkel returned, Data stood and took the flask from him.

Shea reached her hand out. "Give me that."

"I must respectfully decline."

"Decline?" She stood and circled him. He spun with her, keeping the flask out of reach. "Fine," she said. "I'm sure there's plenty more where that came from." She backed away from them. "Who needs you anyway?"

Picard stood also, worried now. "Shea, stay here."

She shook her head. "Stop telling me what to do. I should be the one telling you. So get off my case." She continued backing away, then took off.

"Data!" Picard looked to him.

"I will retrieve her," Data said. He handed Picard the flask and went after her.

"If we believe what she's saying then it would appear that these demons are real," Riker said, "but if she's hallucinating, her story could be a complete fabrication inspired by Data's questions."

Picard sighed. "Entirely possible. I'm sure she is not intentionally misleading us, but her version of events could be unreliable. Still we must err on the side of caution. When we reach Trinora tomorrow, we will have to negotiate with its leader to allow us entry. I don't remember Terkel ever telling us about the Equinox."

"Maybe he assumes we already know. Her being the Goddess, and all."

"Well, at least we've learned a way to jog her memory to some extent," Picard said looking at the flask in his hand. "Not that I particularly like our method. I'm not sure it's a reliable one."

"May I see that?" Dr. Bashir asked and Picard handed him the flask. Julian swept his medical tricorder over it. "Data was right. It's an hallucinogen and about ninety percent alcohol. Quite a potent combination. She must be tripping pretty good. Her adrenaline has to be off the charts trying to compensate. No wonder she ran."

"To get more," Picard noted.

Julian nodded. "Maybe it's addictive."

"I certainly hope not."

A few more minutes more went by, then they heard footsteps approaching, along with sounds of a struggle and Shea's protests. Data appeared from the dark carrying Shea under one arm and holding a flask in the other.

"She consumed half of this before I caught up to her," he informed them.

He set her on her feet, but did not let go. When her knees buckled, he lifted her up again.

Dr. Bashir scanned her. "Shea, you're experiencing alcohol poisoning. You need to stop drinking this stuff."

"If I do, will I stop remembering what happened? Or will drinking more make me stop? I want to stop."

"Why?" Picard asked.

"Because it gets worse. Let me stop. Please, let me stop."

"What could be worse than fighting off demons?" he asked.

"Try becoming one."

He could feel her pain. "I'm sorry if it hurts to remember, but we need you to. If there is more, you need to remember it and tell us what happened."

She nodded reluctantly. "I'll try."

"The last thing you told us was that the demons would attack twice a year," Data reminded her as he held on to her.

She relaxed and leaned into him. "Yes, it became almost routine. They came, took whatever they could and tried to break through the walls to get at us. In between, we tried to live a normal life and shore up our defenses. We sent scouts to the north to try to figure out where the demons hid between attacks. We couldn't find any sign of them, but our scouts reported great rifts in the ground as if the earth had been cracked open. Sometimes licks of flame came up through them. The same flame as in the temples."

"Why is there one in every temple?" Picard asked.

"The flames pre-existed the temples," she replied as if he were a very dull student. "That was why the temples were built where they were."

"Did you ever determine the nature of this cold flame?"

"Eventually. Turned out to be from another dimension. The fires in the temples are tiny portals where a bit of that dimension comes through into this one. But the great rifts to the north, whoa, they allowed big things to come through, including the demons, who wanted what we had here. We're like anti-matter to them. They were mining us."

Picard sucked in his breath. She was actually starting to make some sense. "How did you learn all this?"

"Personal experience. I jumped through to the other side." She moved her arm in high arc.

"Are you telling me you jumped into the rifts to the north?"

"Bingo!" She winked and pointed at him with a trigger finger.

"Did you know then that they were a portal?"

She smiled and shook her head. "No. I would have needed high tech equipment to tell me that. I was just trying to kill myself."

That gave him pause. "Explain to me why you wanted to do that."

"I'd grown too dangerous. Too much exposure to the flame changed me. I was as much a threat to this world as the demons were. I'd become like them."

"That's why your arm turned black when it was exposed to the flame."

"Yes, and wasn't I a sweetheart? Bet you think I need to stay away from it."

"Yes, I do," Picard agreed. He looked around at the others. "Take note, everyone. We must not under any circumstances allow her to come into physical contact with those flames again."

Everyone nodded their understanding.

Shea's head drooped. Dr. Bashir frowned and lifted her chin, looking into her eyes. "You don't look so good, my dear." He scanned her lifesigns, taking note of her pulse and respiration. "It amazes me how you can be stone cold drunk and still be coherent. I predict you're going to have one hell of headache, however." He held up two fingers. "How many fingers do you see?"

She smiled, "Two."

"And what color is my hand?"

"Purple."

"I see. Do you think purple is an odd color for my hand?"

"Not as odd as what you've done to your face. You should see someone about that." She rolled her eyes at Data. "Wow. You look really weird."

"I think a sedative is in order," he told Picard. "Let her sleep it off so she doesn't get into any more trouble."

Picard nodded permission and Bashir administered a hypospray into her neck. A moment later, she slumped. Data lifted her and carried her to the tent she shared with his captain. Picard watched as Data gently laid her down and covered her. Data turned to him. "I would like to stand guard by your tent tonight, just in case."

Picard nodded to him and saw Data take his post outside. He sat down beside her and held her hand watching her breathe. He wondered just how much of her story he could accept as fact and how much she would remember of any of it in the morning.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

At first light, Picard sought out Terkel, who informed him that a six hour ride lay ahead before the city of Trinora would come into view, and another hour's ride after that before they reached the gates. Picard tried to picture what it might look like, this huge walled city of towers that housed the seat of their government. He had also spoken to Terkel about the conquering king who had united their lands over two hundred years ago. Terkel confirmed the king's name was Norath. He also confirmed that the attacks of the demons always fell on the Equinox. Picard returned to his tent to check on Shea, who had still been sleeping when he left. Data stood on guard in the same spot.

"She remains asleep," he informed him.

"Thank you, Data. I'd like us to get on the road within the hour. See what you can do to make that happen."

"Yes, sir," Data acknowledged him and departed.

Picard entered the tent and put a hand on Shea to wake her. She opened one eye, then closed it again. "You need to wake up," he told her. "We're leaving camp soon. We have a full day's ride ahead to Trinora and I'd like to be there before dusk."

"You go ahead. I'll catch up later," she mumbled.

"We're going together. Now wake up!" He shook her a bit.

Both eyes opened and she started to sit up. Suddenly she fell back, put her hands over her eyes and groaned. "Oh my god. My head."

"Bad huh? Bashir thought it might be." Picard retrieved the pain pill Julian had left for her. "Take this; it should help." She swallowed it, but didn't try sitting up again.

"I can't believe you let Data do that to me," she said.

"Sorry for the aftereffects, but we needed information."

"Well I hope you got everything you wanted, cause I'm never touching that stuff again." She lay there unmoving, her eyes squeezed shut.

"I need to tear down this tent and it's a little difficult with you lying inside of it."

"Be nice to me, you bastard. I'm in pain and it's your damned fault."

He smiled at her cursing at him, a rare occurrence. "All right. What do you need?" he asked and lay beside her, propping himself on an elbow.

"Just be nice."

"I'm always nice to you," he protested but knew last night was not a good example. He felt guilty and stroked her hair and face until she stopped scowling and her squinting eyes relaxed. "How's that? Better?"

"Better," she agreed. "You know what I wish? I wish we were back on Risa. We were having such a nice time until Q showed up."

"Yes, we were."

"Why can't he just leave us alone? Why the hell can't they just leave us alone?"

"I don't know," he replied equally perplexed. He saw a tear fall and wiped it away from her cheek. "Shhh… now. It's going to be all right."

She smiled a little. "Such bullshit, but I love the way you say it."

"You must be feeling better if you're calling me on my bullshit. Now, do you think you can get up?"

"I think so," she said and she did.

They were soon on the road again, making good time. Shea's headache retreated to mild roar in her ears. Whenever she tried to remember the events of the previous night, it seemed to hurt more. She hoped she hadn't made a fool of herself, or worse. Deanna didn't seem to be on speaking terms with her, so she'd undoubtedly done or said something to anger her. She wasn't reluctant to push Deanna's buttons when it pleased her, but not to remember what she'd done was disconcerting. She had no idea just how far she'd gone. When she caught Riker's eye, he just shook his head and looked away. She sidled up to Picard.

"I think Deanna's mad at me," she said.

"I think you're right."

"Should I apologize?"

"That's up to you."

"But I don't even remember what I did."

"That's probably for the best. I'd let it go if I were you."

When they broke for rest and lunch, Shea decided she couldn't let it go after all. She walked up to Deanna. "I think I may have offended you last night."

"You could say that," Deanna replied.

"So I should apologize, right?"

"You should. But you won't."

"I won't? Are you sure? I mean, I might. If I knew what for."

"Just forget it. You don't have to apologize. It wouldn't mean anything anyway. You don't like me. I don't like you. Let's just accept that and move on." Deanna walked away from her. Shea followed, not the least satisfied by their exchange.

"But, I do like you. I wouldn't tease you or bother with you at all, if I didn't."

Deanna stopped and turned around. "You call that teasing? You're rude and insulting. You've threatened to take my husband from me and last night you told me my marriage was stupid."

"I did? Well, that was stupid."

Deanna glared at her.

"I mean what I said was stupid. Not your marriage. Your marriage isn't stupid. Not at all. Smart, that's what it was. Riker's quite the catch. Marrying him was very smart."

Deanna sighed. "You're just impossible. Even when you're trying to apologize, you're rude."

Now it was Shea's turn to feel insulted. "Not everybody's all touchy feely like you. We don't all have degrees in psychology. We didn't all get coddled by loving parents teaching us the nuances of human emotion and empathy when we were babies. Some of us had to figure it for ourselves. For an empath, you're remarkably unsympathetic. You're right, it's not your marriage that's stupid. It's you. Maybe I should take Riker away from you."

Shea felt herself getting really angry and turned to walk away, but Deanna grabbed her by the hair, a serious mistake. Deanna cried out and looked at her bloodied hand. Shea turned back and saw the blood and Deanna's look of pain and horror. Shea's anger fled. "I'm so sorry. I was angry. You shouldn't have grabbed my hair. Didn't I tell you what happens when someone does that?"

Deanna moved away.

"Let me help," Shea said. "I can make it better."

"Don't touch me."

Shea watched her back away angry and fearful and knew if she didn't do something to fix this right now, Deanna would hate her forever. Maybe she would anyway, but she decided to try at least. Shea jumped and ensnared Deanna in her arms. She put Deanna's mangled hand on her bare chest and kissed her on the mouth, sending healing warmth into her with all she had. Deanna struggled for the briefest moment, then melted. When she was sure Deanna's hand was fully healed, she gently separated from her. She looked at Deanna's hand. It looked a little pink still, but basically fine.

"There, all better," she said. Deanna stared dreamily back at her. "You don't really hate me, do you?" Shea asked. Deanna shook her head no. "Good. Friends then?" Deanna nodded. "Great. We'll talk later." Shea gave her a little squeeze and left her. Deanna just stood there and watched her go.

"Deanna, what the hell?" Riker demanded, having witnessed their embrace.

Deanna held up her hand to him in a daze. "Look, she fixed it."

As Shea prepared to mount up again, she noticed Riker speaking animatedly with Picard. Riker appeared quite agitated and she wondered what was going on. He gave her a piercing look, and stomped away. Picard climbed onto his noral and rode over to her.

"Will looked upset," she said, and swung up into her saddle. "Is something wrong?"

"Shea, did you make a pass at Deanna?"

"What? No, of course not. I like men, remember?"

"He says he saw you kissing her. On the mouth."

"Oh that. I was trying to apologize, then she injured her hand, so I fixed it. It's all good."

"Is it? Will says she's in lala land now."

"Don't worry. It'll wear off."

He sighed. "Never a dull moment." He raised his arm to signal the troops to head out and kicked his noral ahead to join the line.

Everyone took their usual places in formation. Chorak and Worf stayed on point a few meters ahead of them all. Shea, Picard, Riker and Deanna rode in front of the Guardians and behind them came the main troops consisting of Ship's crew and those from the Enterprise, followed by the citizen volunteers. Shea noticed that their numbers seemed to be growing. Data roamed the citizens' lines, endlessly interviewing people and gathering more information. Geordi usually rode with the rest of the Enterprise crew, but occasionally worked his way forward to see if he was missing anything. Dr. Bashir was on call as usual, tending to whomever had a physical complaint.

"She keeps smiling at you," Picard commented after awhile in a low voice, "like she's in love."

"I told you it will wear off. Just ignore it, like I am," Shea said quietly, but then despite herself glanced in Deanna's direction. Deanna was staring at her, smiling. She smiled back then looked away. "It's harmless. Just a little crush. It won't last."

Suddenly, Riker spurred his noral around and maneuvered next to Shea.

"Fix this," he told her. "You did this to her, now undo it!"

Shea shook her head. "There's nothing to fix. She's fine."

"She is not fine. She thinks you're wonderful."

Shea smiled at him. "I am wonderful. What's the problem?"

Riker glared at her, then looked at Picard. "Do something."

"There's nothing he can do," Shea replied. "Instead of bothering me, you should be talking to her. You're her imzadi, remember?"

"Will," Deanna called out and moved closer. "Leave her alone."

"Oh great, now you're running interference for her. Look what she's done to you. You're smitten."

"You mean I'm not twisted up in knots about her anymore."

"I mean you keep staring at her with those big puppy dog eyes. It's creeping me out."

Shea winked at Deanna, "He thinks we're going to run off together."

Deanna smiled wide. "We can meet at midnight behind the latrines. It'll be wild and scandalous."

Will looked from one woman to the other, scowling. Picard saw his obvious distress and tried not to laugh. "Ladies, I just have to say thank you," he said.

Deanna was the first to ask, "For what?"

"For reminding us not to take ourselves so seriously."

Worf was the first one to see the towers - just a glimpse of reflected light in the distance.

"We will have a clear view over the next hill," Terkel informed them.

Data and Geordi rode up to join them eager to take a look as well. When they reached the top of the next crest, the great walled city lay spread out before them filling the wide valley below.

"I imagined from the map it would be of good size, but…" Picard shook his head in amazement. "Data, how large do you think that is?"

Data studied the topography, calculated the distance and arrived at what he believed to be an acceptable response. "I can only give you a rough estimate, but I believe the exterior walls measure approximately 48.2 kilometers wide on each of their four sides, which would be approximately thirty paced miles by the native unit of measure, making the total perimeter 120 miles."

"For a world with no technology, that's one hell of a wall," Riker said.

"More like a fortress. No one in, no one out, except through the gates. And I'm assuming they're heavily guarded." Picard waved the head Guardian to come forward. "Terkel, I would like your advice on the protocol for contacting the leaders here."

"I suggest we again send messengers ahead to announce our arrival."

"That may not be necessary," Data said. "I can see riders exiting the gates and heading in our direction."

Picard and the others looked too, but the distance prevented them from seeing such detail. "Can you tell how many?" he asked.

"Eighteen soldiers riding three abreast, fully armed. Plus a flag carrier," Shea answered. "Just a greeting party."

"Wish I had your eyes. Do you think they can see us?"

"No, but the guards posted all along these hills can. So I'm guessing you didn't notice the signals they've been flashing to each other these last five or six miles."

"You might have bothered to mention it."

"Sorry. I just assumed…"

"Never assume anything."

"Right," she closed her eyes and sighed tiredly.

Picard looked at her closely. "Is your head still hurting?" She nodded. "I've never known you to have hangover at all, let alone one that lasted this long."

"I looked through the wall last night. That was very naughty of me and now I'm being punished."

"Ask Dr. Bashir to give you another painkiller. I need you on top of your game when those riders get here."

She nodded and went in search of the doctor.

"What did she mean, she's being punished?" Riker asked.

"It means D is not happy," Q replied now perched on a noral where Shea had been a moment before. "And that means you're finally making some progress. Good for you."

"Do you think this time, you could stick around long enough to answer a few questions?" Picard asked.

"I'll stay as long as I can. We have a our hands full at the moment."

"Who is we?"

"The Continuum, of course."

"And why is the Continuum relying on me to keep Shea under control as you put it before?"

"Captain, you were handpicked for this very task. We knew you were the right man for the job."

"And how did you come to that conclusion?"

"You rejected the Nexus. No human has ever done so before or since. You saw through its pleasures, its bliss, to see what really mattered."

"I wasn't the only one who left. Captain James Kirk accompanied me."

"True, but only because you talked him into it. He didn't see through the dream until you woke him up. Which is exactly what you need to do for her. You need to wake her up." Q looked away. "Ooops.. gotta go." He and his noral vanished.

"Wake her up? Is she asleep?" Riker asked.

"I don't think so. At least no more than the rest of us. But she is sitting on a lot of repressed memory."

"Which we have been trying to bring out," Deanna noted.

"Yes, it appears we are doing Q's bidding whether we like it or not. The question is whether doing so is in our own best interest."

"Here she comes," Riker said seeing Shea on her way back. "Are you going to tell her what Q said?"

"Of course."

Shea rode up to them. "Bashir was very helpful. My headache is back to a dull roar, hardly noticeable at all."

"Q was here," Picard informed her. "He wants me to wake you up."

"Really? Is that all there is to it? It's all just a dream? Why don't you just give me a good pinch then. Maybe I'll wake up in Risa. Then I'll tell you forget about Nimbus III, and we can just stay there and float on our backsides. Good old Q. He's always so helpful."

"I'm only telling you what he said."

"Sorry. He just pisses me off. All his meddling and cryptic messages. If I could ever lay a hand on him…" She made a fist in emphasis.

"I'd pay for a ticket," Riker said with a grin. "That would be fun to see."

She smiled and dropped her fist. "Well, it's a nice fantasy, anyway."

"A fantasy that would require abilities equal to those who belong to the Continuum," Data noted. "I recall, Captain Riker, that Q granted you that experience for a short while and you discovered that it was not to your liking."

"True, but it might be nice to have it back just long enough to wring Q's neck."

"There is someone we know of capable of doing just that," Data replied. "We witnessed it personally."

"You mean D," Riker said. "Q mentioned that he's not happy."

"Can we change the subject?" Shea asked, rubbing her temples.

"I realize this topic is uncomfortable for you, but it needs to be addressed," Picard told her. "Data, when D appeared to us in the form of Derek, he told us specifically what Shea meant to him. Do you recall his exact words?"

"Of course."

"Shea, you weren't present on the bridge at the time he spoke to us. I want you to listen and tell me what you think he meant."

She shook her head. "No, I should leave. You want to talk about this, fine, but I'm leaving." She pulled her noral around. Picard grabbed the reigns.

"Q told me I needed to wake you up. Maybe this is part of it. Stay and face this. Stop running. Avoidance doesn't make it any less true." He could see her waivering. "Please. This is important."

She looked unhappy, but stayed put. Picard nodded to Data to go ahead.

Data nodded back and began. "D's exact words were as follows: 'I brought her to consciousness with the very essence of the ancestors which reside in me. She is my fantasy brought gloriously to life - my daughter, my sister, my predecessor, my mate.'"

"So what do you think he meant exactly?" Picard asked her. She stared at the ground and didn't answer. "Shea, what do you think it means?" he prompted again.

"I think it means I'm totally screwed," she said. Then she fainted. Data moved just fast enough to keep her from hitting the ground.

"Shall I take her to Dr. Bashir?" Data inquired.

"Yes, I suppose so," Picard agreed and watched Data carry her back the way she had come.

"That went well," Riker said sarcastically. "Maybe listening to Q isn't the best idea."

"What were you thinking?" Deanna scolded him. "She told you she needed to leave."

"All right you two. That wasn't my proudest moment, I admit," Picard protested," but I think you can understand my motivation. We need answers."

"We also needed her here to greet those riders coming in," Riker replied and nodded toward the oncoming cloud of dust they could see in the distance.

"Worf!" Captain Picard called to him, "How much time do you think we have?"

"They are riding hard and should be here within 10 minutes or less."

"Looks like their goddess won't be available," Riker said. "Better think of a good excuse."

"Maybe we don't need one," Picard replied. "Terkel saw her drunk last night and how Data restrained her. And just now, all of these Guardians witnessed her fall from her mount. They're concerned obviously but there's been no outcry against her. I don't believe it's shaken their faith in the slightest. Surprising, don't you think?"

"They don't expect her to be invulnerable then," Riker concluded. "They know she's flesh and blood."

"So it would seem. Which should make all of this much easier to deal with."

He could see the riders clearly now, three abreast as Shea had told them. And a flag bearer to the side. At first he couldn't make out the white image in the field of black and red, but gradually it came into focus. A grinning skull with a crown of snakes. Shea's personalized Jolly Roger.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

"Do you see that flag?" Riker asked, pointing at the snake headed Jolly Roger.

"I see it," Picard confirmed. "One more indication that Shea's wild tale has some basis in fact."

The riders slowed as they approached, trotting now. The rider front and center held up an arm and they stopped, leaving a gap between Picard's forces and themselves. The riders wore heavy chain mail and helmets that covered their heads and the upper half of their faces. The rider who appeared to be in charge moved forward from their ranks half the distance and stopped again. He looked at Picard and the others seeming to appraise them. Picard pressed his mount forward until they were only a few paces apart.

"I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard. I speak on our behalf." Picard told him in the native tongue.

"Where is she?" the man asked.

"If you are referring to the goddess, she is indisposed."

"Indisposed? Is she injured? I would see her. Take me to her."

"In due time. We have come here to meet your leaders."

"You can speak with me. What is your purpose here?"

"To begin with, we seek shelter."

"How many do you number?"

"The most recent count was a little over six hundred. Will you grant us entry?"

"Perhaps. I would speak with this so-called goddess of yours before answering. I am not so easily convinced as these Guardians. I will know if it is truly she, or if she is merely a pretender."

"You speak as if you have some special insight or knowledge."

"That is because I do." He slipped off his helmet and looked at him with those same green cat eyes Picard knew so well. "She may fool others but she will not fool me."

Picard turned back to Riker and switched to Standard speach. "Will, go check on her. See if she's recovered. I want her to take a look at this man."

Riker was about to leave, when a wide smile fell across the other man's face. "You speak Federation Standard!" he exclaimed in their own language. "You are not from this world." Riker froze in place.

"No. We're not, " Picard answered. "How do you know our language?"

"I have studied it faithfully in preparation for this day. She has brought you with her, has she not? As promised. My fathers all believed they would live to see this day. After all these years, I myself had lost faith, but now in my own time it has come to pass. Take me to her. Injured or not, I must see her."

"You have her eyes. Are you related?" Picard asked.

He nodded. "I am a direct descendant, four generations removed." His gaze fell on Worf and Chorak. "You must be Klingons."

"We are," Worf confirmed.

"And yet she lets you live. Perhaps she will explain this to me. Where is she? I will not wait any longer." He gripped the hilt of his sword. "Do not test my patience further."

Picard held up a hand in peace. "There's no need for that. I will take you to her." He dismounted. "Follow me."

Together they moved on foot down the lines, searching for Dr. Bashir and his patient. Within a few minutes, Data called out to them. "We are over here, Captain."

Shea lay on a blanket, apparently out cold. Dr. Bashir hovered over her with his tricorder. "Sorry, Captain, but she's not responding to the stimulants I've administered. She may just have to sleep it off for awhile and recover in her own time. That beverage still isn't completely out of her system. She drank a lot of it."

"What beverage do you speak of?" the man with Shea's eyes asked. Even as he regarded Shea's unconscious form, he glanced and squinted at Data with obvious curiosity.

Bashir stared at him for a moment, then shook himself. "That would be the beverage the Guardian's use in their ceremonies."

"I am familiar with it. How much did she drink?"

"About three of those flasks, I think."

"One flask serves as many as all of the Guardians who accompany you. Was she trying to end her life?"

"No," Picard answered, "she was trying to remember the life she lived here."

"She has no memory of it?" he asked in alarm.

"No. She does not."

"Her appearance conforms to our history, but if she has no memory of us then perhaps she is not who the Guardians believe her to be. Or who I had hoped her to be. I would examine her more closely." Picard made no objection as he kneeled beside her and took her hand in his. He pressed her fingers to see her claws extend, lifted her eyelids to see his own green eyes, and fingered the long light reflecting strands that served her in place of hair. He stood again and approached Picard.

"In my world, such physical characteristics are unique. Perhaps it is not so, where you come from."

"Actually, Shea is unique in our experience as well."

"And you call her by the same name as we knew her. If she is the same woman, why does she not remember us?"

"We don't know, but we've been working very hard to find out. Coming to Trinora is part of our effort to jog her memory. Perhaps when she sees you, it will help."

"I have read that you have advanced tools that assess injury and promote healing, yet she lies unconscious. Is this the best you can do?"

Dr. Bashir looked annoyed. "I suppose you can do better?"

"Stand aside," the man ordered them."I shall wake her."

Data positioned himself between him and Shea. "I will not allow you to cause her harm," he told him.

The man regarded Data. "You are exceedingly strange in appearance. I do not think you are human."

"I am an android," Data informed him. "I am also Shea's friend. Do not attempt to touch her without permission."

"I seek only to heal. No harm will come to her, I promise you."

"Data, I think we should let him try," Picard said. "They're related."

Data looked at the man's eyes and nodded. "Very well. But I will be watching."

When Data moved back, the man stepped forward and dropped to his knees beside her again. He placed his hands on her chest and bent to kiss her, just as Picard had witnessed Shea do for others.

"Look, Will," Deanna said in a near whisper, "he's a healer just like her."

Picard turned to see Riker and Troi standing beside him.

"See," she said to Riker, "that's his grandmother for goodness sake. It's all perfectly innocent."

As they watched, Shea stirred beneath him. Her arms came up and wrapped around him and the gentle healing kiss changed dramatically to one of sexual passion returned equally by both parties.

"You were saying…" Riker said, looking at Deanna.

"That's enough," Picard told Shea in word and thought. "Enough, I said!"

She pulled away and opened her eyes looking into the ones of the man in her arms. She gasped, "What the hell?" She pushed him away and scrambled to her feet. "Who are you?"

He smiled wide at her. "You are Shea. I am sure of it." He moved toward her again.

She backed away. "I know who I am. I'll ask you again, who are you?"

"I am King Naroth, the Fifth. The fifth to carry the name, the fifth to sit on the throne of Trinora and rule the lands united by the First with you at his side. They say I favor him. Do you see him when you look upon me?"

"Can't say that I do."

"But you do recognize your own eyes, do you not?"

"You got me there. So, what...we're related or something?"

"I am your grandson, four times removed. I am your blood. I am your king."

"I don't have any king."

He frowned at her. "This man, this Captain Picard, tells me you do not remember your life here."

"He's right. I don't."

"Come to me. Be with me. I will bring your memories back."

"I'm not sure I like what you're suggesting," she said warily.

He shook his head and backed away. "I can see you are confused, but I can be patient. You and your followers seek shelter and we will provide it. The Equinox will soon be at hand. You must come inside the walls tonight and we will talk. I will go ahead of you and prepare for your arrival."

"We will follow you," Picard agreed. "Thank you."

They returned to the head of the troops and mounted up. The king joined his men, and they were soon galloping back toward the walled city. Picard signaled his own to move out at their far slower pace.

"Where the hell did he come from?" Shea asked, as they watched the king and his men growing smaller in the distance.

"From you, apparently," Picard noted wryly. "How many husbands and children have you had?"

"More than I can remember, apparently."

"How is your headache?"

"Oh. Um fine. It's gone actually."

"I see."

"You say that like it's a problem."

"No, of course not. It's just the method of cure that concerns me." He was quiet for a moment then added. "He's so very much like you."

"Yes, surprising after four generations," Shea agreed. She looked at Picard, sensing a pervasive sadness. "You're thinking about our son."

He gave a her sad smile. "Sometimes I wish I had a few secrets from you."

"He's still alive, you know. You could meet him."

"I tried. He wasn't interested… too angry about my sending you away. Does he have your ability to heal as well?"

"No. He's more like you… just as stubborn and proud. If we ever get out of here, I'm going to bring him to task. Make sure the two of you meet."

"I'd like that."

It took nearly an hour to get their large group moving again and reach the gates of the city. As they approached, the walls seemed to grow taller and wider until they could no longer see where they ended and had to tilt their heads back to see the top. Shea shaded her eyes with her hand and stared up the smooth sides of the soaring vertical plane.

"Wow. They must have really bad neighbors," she said.

"Demons," Picard told her, "according to you, that is."

"Demons? Really? I said that?"

He nodded in affirmation. "You also said these walls were heated and lit up at night to keep them out. You made these creatures sound very disagreeable."

Riders came to meet them just before they reached the gates to escort them in. One of the riders was King Naroth.

"Everyone who enters must be tested," he informed them. "The gates will lead you through the city's temple. You will each pass through the flame so that we may be certain no demon hides among you. My soldiers will stand guard with heated blades and strike down anyone who fails. If you are human, you have nothing to fear."

Shea and Picard looked worriedly at each other, knowing she would not pass the test. The shared look of concern was not lost on Naroth. "It is difficult for me to understand how you could not know yourself and this world. And to find that I must explain things to you of all persons, when my expectation was that you would explain them to me..." He shook his head and sighed in frustration. "What makes you fearful of the flame?"

"It made my arm turn black. "

"As it should. It revealed your nature."

"But they did not strike me down. They proclaimed me their goddess, instead. It makes no sense."

"You are not only demon; you are also flesh and blood. My flesh and my blood. The Guardians recognized you by your eyes."

"Then what are these demons you speak of?"

"You do not even know what a demons is." He shook his head again. "They are cold soulless things that wreak destruction upon our lands and people. They come out of the great rifts in the north."

"If they are not flesh and blood, how could they hide among you undetected?" Picard asked.

"They have learned to corrupt the body. They can take possession of the dead and walk among us. They use this method to undermine our defenses from within. Fortunate for us, this possession is a difficult task for them and is rare."

"Naroth, some of our people are still in Betu Ganstin. Are they in danger from these attacks?"

"All on this world are in danger. The demon forces move from the north to the south. We hold the line here, but inevitably some get through."

"We must send word," Picard said and summoned Chorath. "Take two of your men and return to Ship. Warn them that they may be attacked by these creatures. Do not delay."

"I understand," Chorath said. He signaled two of his men and they rode away.

"There is a member our crew who is not human," Picard told Naroth, "but he is not demon either."

"You speak of the one you call Data. I noticed his strange pallor and yellow eyes. He called himself an android."

"Yes, he is an artificial life form. I do not know what effect the flame will have upon him," Picard replied.

"He is a product of your technology then," Naroth nodded. "I had hoped to witness such one day. I assume he is being powered with a crystal from our world?"

"Not exactly," Shea replied, "I downloaded the energy trapped in my arm directly into his circuits. There was no crystal involved."

Naroth considered this. "Then he must be constructed of material similar to that of the crystals if he is able to retain energy for his use."

"None of this seems to surprise you," Shea noted.

He smiled in response. "Your teachings explain much. I have studied them well."

"My teachings?"

"The writings you left for us explaining your origins, the nature of your universe, your theories as to why your starship lost power, and why we of this world are unable to progress beyond what you called the Dark Ages. You said we were a preindustrial society unable to progress. You said the flames which are the source of our power are also the curse that keeps us trapped as we are."

"I wrote all that?"

"Yes, I will show you the scripture. Perhaps it will help you to remember."

When the gates opened for them, Naroth led the way. The gates opened to the interior of a temple twice the size of the one they had seen at Betu Ganstin. Before them stood a gauntlet of soldiers armed with swords glowing red hot. More heated blades stood at the ready within easy reach in fiery red coals behind them. Between the lines of soldiers a long metal grate covered a pit of green fire that shot up from below through the openings.

"Your troops must dismount and lead their norals through the flames with them."

Shea froze at the sight. "I will not go through those flames, Naroth. I do not wish to be changed again."

"That is your choice," he said. "I know who you are. And if you are concerned about the effect of the flames on your android he may be exempted as well. I know he is not human but he is a far cry from demon. A hidden demon may look human at first glance but cannot withstand scrutiny. I can easily spot them at close quarters. However they are more difficult to detect when hiding in livestock. Thus your norals must go through without exception."

Picard looked at the flames and the soldiers and thought of their previous experience. "Naroth, the last time we did this, these Guardians sacrificed a man and threw his heart into the fire. I sincerely hope that we will not see that happen again here."

Naroth looked back at the Guardians and shook his head angrily. "They have been told to cease such practices. Despite our edict, they continue to do so for purposes of intimidation of their subjects and as a method of execution of lawbreakers. It is difficult to enforce our laws in the outlying areas. But I assure you there will be no sacrifice of human flesh this day." He walked over to Shea and told her to dismount. "I will lead your noral through the flames, and see that your captain and followers have made safe passage, then I shall return for you and your android. "

Picard stood beside Shea and watched as Naroth took Shea's noral and walked ahead through the flames that licked up through the grate at his feet. The soldiers acknowledged his passing with bowed heads, then looked expectantly at Picard.

"Are you comfortable with this?" Picard asked her. "I won't leave you, if you're not."

"It's fine. I have Data with me. We'll find you."

He nodded, turned away and led his noral forward. As the cold flames wrapped their feet and legs, the noral shied nervously. Picard tugged it forward until they were through the gauntlet and out the other side of the temple. He found himself on a road leading through furrowed fields. The towered city lay beyond the fields encircled by still another wall, not as tall as the one they had just passed through but formidable nonetheless. Naroth stood waiting for him and handed him the reigns for Shea's noral.

"There is not enough lodging inside the city itself to accommodate all of you. Your people may camp in the dirt fields here," Naroth told him, indicating the flat open farmland. "The crops have all been harvested so you needn't worry about causing damage, and the nights are warm enough now that you should not be too uncomfortable in the open air. Do not build fires near the tall grasses." He pointed to a wide swath of man-high browned growth that ran along the length of the interior walls. You can see that it is tinder dry. It is our secondary line of defense should the walls be breached. I would be most unhappy if you burned it prematurely."

"I understand. Have you needed to burn it before?"

His expression darkened. "We have."

As they waited and watched, the officers and crew appeared through the exit one by one, followed by the Guardians, and the troops and the citizens. Picard used the time to pepper the king with more questions about the attacks, the city and its defenses. When the last person had cleared the flames without incident, Naroth excused himself to retrieve Shea and Data.

Picard gave the orders to set up camp again. He sighed watching them go to work once more, putting up tents and digging latrines. He was worried. Naroth had confirmed Shea's story that these semiannual attacks lasted thirty days at a time. If so, they would be trapped here for more than a month. He also worried about the minimal crew they had left behind on Ship. Naroth had told him the demons seldom traveled that far south, and Picard had seen no evidence of fortifications along the coastal town, certainly nothing like those here, which supported Naroth's statement. He probably had nothing to worry about… but he worried nonetheless.

When Naroth returned for Shea and Data, he told them the route they would take was underground. "It is not the preferred path for visitors and hardly fit for someone we would prefer to honor, but it does avoid the flames." He took them to a bolted door just inside the gates. A soldier opened it for them, allowing them entry then closed them inside the dark interior. "Our eyes will adjust in a moment," Naroth said. Gradually their surroundings came into focus, lit softly by a line of tiny green crystals along the walls. The line took a nose dive just ahead. "Watch the steps, they may be slick with oil," he warned. They followed him down carefully, seeing that he was correct about the oil. At the bottom, a river of it ran through the tunnel ahead. "If the demons should find entry here, we can light the oil and burn them out," he explained as he balanced along the curb that ran down the oil river's center. "It is a long dark walk through here. Perhaps you would prefer the flames next time."

"I think this is the better choice," Shea replied.

"You did not think so in the past. You walked through the flames each day, replenishing yourself with their power. You were magnificent and terrifying and you protected us. Now you have returned as you had promised. You will change our world."

His words so disconcerted her that she slipped and nearly stepped into the oil but for Data's quick reflexes steadying her from behind. "Thanks, Data," she said.

"I am happy to be of assistance," he replied, which made her smile. He always seemed to make her smile. She was glad he was here. It almost made everything feel normal, despite the fact that nothing was.

"Where does this tunnel come out?" she asked.

"Just before the inside wall."

"There's an inside wall?"

"Yes, it is our third line of defense, should they break through the first two."

"These demons of yours must be very persistent."

"In three days time, you will see for yourself. If fighting the demons does not refresh your memory, then perhaps nothing can."


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

"We're here," Naroth announced. He opened a trap door in the ceiling above them at the top of the steps they had just climbed from the underground tunnel below. They emerged alongside a stone wall. "This is the original wall of the city. You can see your camp from here." He gestured toward the open fields at their back and Shea could see the now familiar sight of their low tents and herd of norals. Then he pointed to the road nearby. "The entrance to the city is over there. Come inside with me now. Let me show you your home."

"My home, huh? You sure about that? None of this feels familiar so far."

"I am convinced you are my ancestor. Surely you can believe your own eyes," he said, and moved close to look at her with her same green gaze. "I know you can feel our connection and sense that I am telling the truth. Join me now within the city. Your rightful place is there with me."

She could feel his body heat and her pulse quickened. Disconcerted, she backed up a step to stand beside Data. "We should go help set up camp. We can come back later with Captain Picard and our senior officers to see your city."

Naroth frowned and looked clearly disappointed. "As you wish," he said. "Approach the inner gate when you are ready. My guards will send word to me."

As Shea and Data walked back toward the camp, she decided she might need some help. "Data, I want you to act as my chaperone with Naroth. I don't want to be intimate with him. If I should forget that, please remind me."

Data nodded. "I will not forget."

It took them only a few minutes to make the trek back on foot to the encampment. She excused Data and went in search of Picard.

"So are you ready for more camping under the stars, Jean-Luc?" Shea asked, seeing him ahead.

He turned and smiled. "I suppose, though to be honest, I was hoping for a warm shower. Even a cold bath would do at this point."

She kissed him in greeting. "You are a little ripe," she admitted and looked at her own dirt covered arms. "We all smell of norals and road dust."

"How did you get inside?" Picard asked.

"Through an underground tunnel filled with oil. Another weapon against the demons." She wriggled her hands spookily.

"Sounds like you don't believe your own story."

"I don't know. Guess I have to see one to believe it. Naroth insists that I will."

"Your great, great, great, great grandson," Picard counted them off. "You trust him?"

"Not sure. He seems sincere enough, but…"

"But what? Has he said or done anything to make you suspicious?"

"No, just a little uncomfortable."

Picard grimaced. "You mean like that kiss."

"Yeah, like that. I asked Data to be my chaperone, just in case."

"So you're attracted to him. Don't you find that a little incestuous?"

"Yes, of course, which is exactly why I've recruited Data's assistance."

"Has this type of behavior been a problem for you in the past? Such as with our son?"

"No!" she replied angrily, "Don't be disgusting. I would never even think to…. That's just rude. You should know me better than that."

"I thought I did, but in dealing with you, I find I'm often surprised and not always in a good way," he frowned at her. "So why do think he affects you differently?"

"I'm guessing it's because he's a stranger to me. After four generations, he's only distantly related. How much could we have in common?"

"Perhaps too much," Picard replied. "He has your eyes, and he's a healer. Can you say that about any of your other children?"

"No, I can't. They've all been fully human. Those traits are not part of the human genome. I was told since they can't match up with human DNA, they're always eliminated. I can't really explain this. Maybe Dr. Bashir has some theories."

"We'll ask him when things settle down here."

"Meanwhile, Naroth has offered to take us into the city. I told him I'd come back with you and all of the senior officers."

"Safety in numbers?"

She smiled. "Something like that."

"Perhaps you're in need of fortification," he offered, tilting his head toward their tent.

"Aww… you'd do that for me? Such a noble sacrifice."

"Someone's got to keep you out of trouble. Assuming I'm not too ripe for you."

"Never," she said and kissed him. "Just ripe enough I think."

They disappeared into the tent.

#

Deanna sat outside her tent, softly cursing, as she tried once more to brush the tangles from her hair. She got the brush caught again. "Ow!"

"Is there a problem, Commander Troi?"

She looked up to see Data's concerned expression. "No, not really. It's just my hair. I don't have my normal shampoo and it's just a mess." She dropped her hand and the brush stayed stuck where it was. "See what I mean."

"May I be of assistance?" he asked.

"Okay, but be gentle," she said. Data attempted to free the brush. "Ow!" she cried.

"I could use a knife to cut it free," he offered.

"What? No, Data. You're not cutting my hair."

"I have noted that women are particularly protective of their hair, which I find surprising since there are no nerve cells involved."

"Never mind, Data. I'll find someone else to help me with it."

"Perhaps Shea can assist you. She is quite dexterous. You can find her at her tent."

"Thanks," she said and thought about Data's suggestion. She wondered how helpful a woman who didn't have normal hair could be, but at least she was a woman. She decided to go ask. As she neared Shea and the Captain's tent, she slowed and paused. She couldn't sense anything from Shea, but the Captain's emotions were strong. Approaching their tent at the moment would not be welcome. She moved a discrete distance away, sat down and waited. And waited.

After awhile, Riker found her. "There you are. I've been looking for you."

She pointed at the brush stuck in her hair. "I thought I'd ask Shea if she has any ideas on what to do for my frizzed out mess."

"And you're sitting here because…?"

"They're a little busy."

He looked at the tent, and rolled his eyes. "We just got here."

"Guess they couldn't wait. There was a time when you couldn't wait either."

He sat beside her. "Imzadi, I still can't wait. Except for now when we're this filthy and smelly."

"Doesn't seem to bother them."

"That's because she's the way she is. You're not like that."

"Not like what.. sexy, desirable?"

"Crazed. You're normal, thank God."

"So no regrets?"

"No regrets," he squeezed her hand. "And I promise you, once we find a shower, you're going to be in a lot of trouble."

Shea emerged from the tent, clothes in hand, and started to dress.

"You're staring, Will," Deanna said.

"Sorry," he looked away. "What can I say. I'm male. I better go."

"Good idea."

Shea saw them and came over as Riker was leaving. Deanna pointed to her hair. "Got any suggestions?"

"Oh dear," She kneeled down beside her and looked at the hanging brush. "What happened to your lovely curls?"

"Wind, dust, rain, mud… shall I go on? Data wanted to take a knife to it. Maybe I should let him."

"Oh I think we can come with a better solution. Terkel!" she called, "Would you bring me some of that cooking grease you use?"

"Oh no," Deanna said. "You're not putting animal fat in my hair."

"It's not animal fat. It's made from seeds. You can tell by the way it smells." Terkel set a small container next to them, and Shea scooped some into her palm. "See, not so bad."

Deanna sniffed suspiciously. "Oh. You're right. It actually smells kind of nice."

Shea massaged it into her hair, and slowly disentangled the brush. Once free, she used it to gently brush out the tangles one by one, applying the oily fat where needed. Deanna slowly relaxed under her expert hands and closed her eyes.

"It's been a long three days, hasn't it?" Shea commented. "You're awfully tired, I can tell."

"I am tired," Deanna admitted.

"You have such beautiful hair. I envy you. I always wished I had real hair."

"You're kidding."

"Not at all. You can pin yours up, braid it, color it, cut it, do whatever you want. I can't do anything with what I've got except let it do whatever it will. And sometimes, if I'm in a bad mood, someone can get hurt just by touching it. I still feel bad about your hand."

"That wasn't your fault. I knew better, or should have. Anyway, you fixed it."

Shea finished untangling the hair and let it fall free. "Would you like me to put your hair in a braid? It would keep it from driving you crazy."

Deanna nodded, "You don't mind?"

"No. I used to do this for my daughter." Shea divided Deanna's long dark locks and began plaiting. "She had beautiful hair too. Blonde, though, like her father. Tall and slender and so very graceful. When she was little, she wanted to be a dancer. Ended up a molecular physicist of all things. Married, four children. She lives a very dull, very happy life."

"Do you ever see her."

"Not too often. I try to leave my children be once they reach adulthood. Having me for a mother is a bit… embarrassing I guess you would say. Probably kind of the way you feel about your mother. I hear she can come on a bit strong as well."

"More than a bit," Deanna laughed. "She even tried to woo Captain Picard."

Shea laughed too, "Well, she obviously has good taste then. There, all done."

Deanna reached up and felt her smoothed coif and tugged her long braid around over her shoulder to see the end tied with a strip from Shea's clothing. "That's so much better. Thank you."

"My pleasure. Would you be interested in taking a look inside the city? Naroth has offered to open the gate for us. Who knows, maybe we can find a shower and some real food."

"That would be wonderful," Deanna agreed.

Picard gathered up the senior officers and they headed for the city gate. A tall pair of large ornate black metal panels split in two and creaked open for them. The guards were expecting them and allowed them to enter, but told them to wait inside for King Naroth. The road changed inside the gate from gravel to stone pavers, well worn by foot traffic and noral hooves. The buildings were all stone as well. Unlike the port city and the village they had seen, there were no wooden structures they could see from here. They waited and looked around for about ten minutes before the King arrived, unaccompanied. "Welcome to Trinora," he greeted them in Standard. He looked around at the eight of them and Picard made sure everyone was introduced.

Naroth paused to look closely at Geordi whom he hadn't seen before. "Your eyes are strange. Are you other than human?"

"I have ocular implants," Geordi explained. "but other than that, I'm just human."

"More of your technology." Naroth concluded. "Come, let me show you our city," he said and waved them to follow. "You may find yourself the subject of curiosity, but no one will bother you in my presence. The city is crowded now, we have over 100,000 additional people to shelter during the equinox. They come from farmlands and outlying villages. Many will be arriving in the next few days. Some will camp in the fields as you have, but most of them find housing with relatives and friends who reside here. "

They entered a huge open plaza filled with people going about their daily lives. Street vendors called out to them displaying baskets of colorful fresh fruit and vegetables, tethered and caged live animals, and tables filled with tools, cloths, trinkets and more. The air was alive with loud conversation and aggressive bartering.

"You can get most anything you need here in the marketplace," Naroth told them, "provided you have something of value to trade, of course. " Nearby a fist fight broke out. He waved impatiently and a group of soldiers immediately grabbed the two combatants and hauled them away. "We don't tolerate troublemakers here. Our enemy is outside. People either get along or find themselves on the wrong side of the wall."

Naroth kept them moving. Ahead the sharp sound of hammers on metal rang out, and they came upon a group of blacksmiths pounding red hot blades and stoking enclosed furnaces. Behind the blacksmiths stood rows of finished swords. "Our swordsmiths work in shifts keeping the furnaces hot day and night."

Geordi took a close look at the bricked in furnaces. "Those ovens are hot enough to make a high quality carbon steel," he commented to the others.

Naroth led them to a large building. "I thought you might appreciate a chance to cleanse yourselves. This is the entrance to the baths."

"A bath?" Deanna exclaimed. "Oh that would be wonderful."

Naroth smiled at her. "Then please partake. Attendants within will provide you with soaps and sweet oils and towels. The people's public bath and toilet area is straight ahead as you enter. If you prefer privacy in the company of men or women, you may take the doors on either side. Men are indicated by this symbol," he pointed to a T shape in the stone steps. "Women, by this one." He pointed to an inverted triangle. "Please enjoy yourselves and take your time," he told them. "When you are finished I will meet up with you again."

Just inside the entrance, three doorways presented themselves as Naroth had promised - a large one in the center and a smaller door on either side. "I don't know about the rest of you, but I've had quite enough of shared bathroom facilities," Deanna said. She pointed to the inverted triangle above the door to the right. "Ladies only?" she asked Shea. "Fine with me," Shea replied and the two women went to the right.

"I am not undressing in public," Worf stated and headed to the left. The other men shrugged and followed him.

A lovely young girl greeted Shea and Deanna as they entered. Her dark eyes grew wide at first, seeing them, but she quickly recovered. "Welcome. We are honored. The King has told us of your arrival and is hosting you. Please enter and be served. Tell me your wishes and I will fulfill them." Shea quickly translated for Deanna's benefit.

"That's so nice," she said. "Tell her I want a hot bath or a shower and that I want to wash my hair." Shea translated and the dark eyed girl guided them into a room with wide padded benches, a large steaming pool, and water spewing from carved figureheads along the walls to drain through wood slatted floors. More young women within the room saw them enter and regarded them with a look of surprise that quickly turned to giggles. The women came running over to them.

"Please choose which of us you would like to attend you," the first girl said. Shea started to get a sense of what was going on, but went along. She translated for Deanna, who smiled.

"Okay, um, how about you?" Deanna said, selecting the original girl, who smiled in response. Shea shrugged and pointed to a tall giggling blonde. The other girls looked disappointed, until one of them said. "We can take your clothes for you, while Seneca and Roena bring your bathing items."

"Why not?" Shea said and let the women help her undress.

Deanna laughed as they did the same for her. She moved to the spewing waters and immersed herself. "I'm in heaven," she said. Their two chosen attendants quickly returned with scented soaps and oils and towels.

"I am Seneca," the blonde told Shea. She lathered the soap in her hands, joined Shea in the showering water, and began to wash Shea's hair, then moved to her back. Shea noted that Roena was doing the same for Deanna. Shea smiled, waiting for it. "Seneca," she asked softly, "do you get many women on this side?" Seneca shook her head, "No, this is a nice change for us." Shea nodded and again smiled at Deanna who looked so happy. Once the soap rinsed free, their attendants hands began to roam, massaging and exploring. Deanna's eyes opened wide and she pushed her attendant away.

"They don't get too many women over here." Shea told her.

"What?" Deanna replied. "Oh! Then that means the men over there…" She covered her mouth.

"I wonder how Worf is doing?" Shea laughed. Then she decided she had to see for herself. She freed herself from Seneca's attentions. "Please excuse us, ladies. You're lovely, really, but we have to run." She grabbed the towels, threw one to Deanna and said, "Come on."

Shea and Deanna ran back out to the entrance and waited, tucked into their towels. A few minutes went by, then loud voices could be heard and the sounds of a scuffle. The door to the men's side flew open and Worf burst out of it, his face enraged.

"I thought you didn't want to be seen naked in public," Shea commented. "Oh, look at that. I didn't know Worf had a tattoo down there." She turned to Deanna, "Did you know about that? Of course, you did. Silly me."

By then the other men had joined them. Riker tossed Worf a towel and gave Shea a dirty look. "I bet you set us up."

"I doubt that," Picard defended her. "Just an honest misunderstanding."

"Should we switch?" Shea asked.

"Actually, I think the combined public baths would be the better choice," Picard replied, "for all of us."

"I would concur," Data agreed.

"Speak for yourselves," Dr. Bashir said and headed for the women's side.

Geordi hesitated for a moment, then shrugged. "I think I need to re-establish my manhood," he said and followed Julian.

Will watched them go. "Don't even think about it," Deanna told him. He just smiled and shook his head.

Worf looked frozen in place and still upset. Shea watched him curiously wondering which way he would go. "Maybe Worf needs time to reflect. Maybe he's not sure if that was a positive experience or a negative one. "

He lifted his smoldering gaze to meet hers. "I would be very careful about what you say next."

She smiled and thought about pushing one more button, but Picard gave her a look. She pulled her instincts back and chose to be kind instead. "You're all male, Worf. Anyone can see that. Especially me." She walked up to Picard and took his arm. "I think I still have some soap to rinse off. Would you mind being my attendant?"

"Oh, I would be honored," he replied wryly.

The peoples' public bath proved to be just that. Rows of showers and a huge pool sized bath filled with people of all ages. Children ran and splashed beside their elders, while parents kept watchful eyes. The public attendants were fully dressed as they handed out towels and soaps, and offered no special services whatsoever. Picard's small group stayed together and tried to ignore the stares that followed them. Worf glowered at first, but finally relaxed in the warm water.

When they emerged from the baths, a pair of waiting soldiers took off running, off to alert King Naroth, no doubt. They were correct in their assumption as he soon returned.

"You look refreshed," he noted. "We take great pride in having the baths available for our people's pleasure and good health. The baths would not exist but for the aqueduct and underground heating system Shea designed for this city so many years ago. Another thing for which we owe you thanks," he told her. Shea shrugged and said nothing. Naroth regarded her. "Still no memory, I see. I believe it is time for you to view your writings."

He led them through an arched opening into meticulously well tended gardens of hedges, flowers, fruiting trees, and long rows of vegetables. "We call this the Queen's Garden. It's basically unchanged from your time."

"It's lovely," Deanna said. Again, Shea made no comment.

Beyond the garden, rose a large stone structure. "This is your home," Naroth stated, "our home."

Shea looked up at the tall stone building and it's turrets. "My home is a starship," she said.

"It wasn't always," he insisted.

As they approached, guards on either side of the entry opened the doors wide for them and bowed their heads. Inside, servants waited and bowed as well. Naroth clapped his hands together once and waved them away. They quickly scurried about, bringing out pitchers of water and wine and tall glasses and mugs. Others bore trays of fruits, nuts, cheeses, breads and meats. Soon a feast lay spread out on a long wooden table.

"I hope you will accept my hospitality," Naroth said.

"We've been living on dried food," Riker said. "Believe me, this will be a welcome change."

Naroth smiled. "I am glad. Please join me." He sat at the head of the long table and invited them to sit and partake. Worf was first to dive in and help himself. The others were quick to follow. Naroth ate as much as any of them. Shea and Data, of course, had very little but chose to taste anything that did not look familiar in an attempt to identify what it was. Shea was particularly fond of a spiny red fruit. As she sucked out the seeds, Naroth told her, "That's my favorite as well. It grows in your garden here. I believe you planted the tree yourself." She frowned and put the fruit down.

When they had eaten their fill, Naroth called for a drink and a toast. "To new friends and old."

Picard and the others held up their glasses and drank.

"Thank you," Picard said, "You've been very generous."

"It is the least I could do. You deserve much for bringing Shea back to me. It is only right that I offer you respite. I hope you will also have a good night's sleep. You, in particular, Captain Picard. I want you well fed and well rested when I kill you in the morning."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Picard set his glass down. "I beg your pardon? Did you just threaten to kill me?"

Naroth smiled. "I made no threat. I merely stated a fact. You are undoubtedly an admirable man and I have no ill will for you, Captain. But the simple truth is, you're in my way."

"In your way?" Picard prompted even though he thought he already knew the answer.

"You share her tent, do you not? And I have been told by Terkel that you claim to be her Chosen One. In the morning, I will challenge you, as is our way. I anticipate killing you easily. My apologies, Captain."

Shea sighed heavily. "And just what do you think you would accomplish by killing Captain Picard, except to really piss me off?"

Naroth frowned, "Are you saying that is a risk?"

"It's more than a risk, it's a promise. You try to harm him, you're going to find yourself facing me instead."

"You refuse to honor our ways then?" Naroth looked both surprised and offended.

"You bet I do."

Naroth shoved himself from the table angrily. He walked away and returned with a large heavy book in his hands. He slammed it onto the table in front of her. "Read what you have written, then. The strong shall rule, the weak shall perish. You authored the words that we live by. They are not my ways, they are yours."

Shea stared at the thick hand-tooled leather bound book before her. She didn't want to touch it.

Naroth glared at her. "Look at it, damn you. You wrote it."

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. And even if, and I emphasize the word if, I did, it doesn't mean what I wrote was correct. I'm not infallible. Sometimes, I make mistakes. Something tells me this might have been a really big one." She stood and moved away without touching the manuscript.

"May I?" Captain Picard asked, reaching for the book. Naroth nodded and Picard hefted it into his hands. He opened it, finding a handwritten text in Federation Standard, yellowed with time but clearly legible. He had only seen Shea's handwriting a few times, but this looked similar. "Data, take a look at this. Does this look like her handwriting to you?"

Data came around the table and peered at the script. "It does."

"Would you please commit this book to memory, Data?"

"Yes, sir," he said. He took the book and began flipping pages as fast as the delicate paper would safely allow, scanning each one into his memory banks.

Picard frowned at Naroth, "I hope that you will reconsider challenging me in the morning."

Naroth glanced at Shea, who stared back at him with her narrowed gaze. "It appears my challenging you now would be premature," he replied, "but I wouldn't get too comfortable if I were you, Captain. In a few days time, you may find your position far less secure."

"I think we should take our leave of you," Picard said, feeling irritated. "How long before you're finished with that book, Data?"

"At my current rate of .49 seconds per page, approximately twelve minutes, forty-three seconds. I apologize for the slow speed, but these pages are brittle. I dare not turn them any faster."

Picard nodded, wishing they could leave immediately. The others exchanged looks, their glasses set back onto the table now.

"I see that I have made all of you uncomfortable," Naroth said. "Again I must apologize. I consider myself an excellent host under normal circumstances. Please, let us use this brief time together well. I would like to show you the royal art in the great hall. It lies just beyond." He pointed to a wide arched doorway.

"Very well. Data, join us as soon as you've finished here."

"Acknowledged," Data said without looking up from his page flipping.

"I'll wait here with Data," Shea said.

The rest of them followed Naroth out into an expansive room draped with tapestries and gilded framed paintings. Light streamed in through tall thin glassed windows above. "This is the story of Trinora," Naroth explained as he walked into the center of the room and waved at the framed art surrounding them. "In chronological order, from left to right, these paintings depict our history and my ancestors."

Picard glanced around at the framed paintings and noted battle scenes mixed with portraits. He approached the first on the far left, which would be the beginning of their history. He found himself looking at a romanticized painting of a large muscular man mounted on the back of a rearing noral, sword lifted high for his troops in the background as if signaling an attack against oncoming forces. "Naroth the first, I assume?"

"Correct," Naroth replied. "Although that was before he held the title. Look at the figures in the background - you might see something of interest."

Picard looked closer seeing the armored soldiers on their mounts all depicted in aggressive poses readying for the fight ahead, all but one, a mysterious robed figure standing alone behind the line.

He went to the next painting, another battle scene, but now the robed figure was featured in front of the troops, arms raised under a sky of green flame. The next depicted Naroth accepting the sword of a defeated king kneeling before him, with a city in ruins in the distance. More paintings followed showing similar events, featuring either Naroth or the mysterious robed figure. Then he came upon a close-up portrait of the original Naroth and Picard was struck by his strong resemblance to their host. The paintings that followed showed citizens and soldiers at work side-by-side, constructing roads and bridges and buildings. Another painting was of a happy prosperous scene much like the colorful market they had witnessed upon entering the city. There were many more of a similar nature.

"Captain," Deanna called. "I think you should look at those two up there."

He followed her gaze to a pair of paintings above the door they had just exited. The painting on the left clearly depicted Shea. The rainbow lit hair and her green cat-eyed stare were unmistakable. That alone would have made him catch his breath, but the one on the right near stopped him from breathing at all. The eyes were the same but they stared out from a woman he no longer recognized, black as night with a crown of snakes, standing in flames of green.

"Like you said," Riker spoke softly next to him. "We need to keep her away from those flames."

"Yes, indeed," Picard agreed, and remembered to breathe again.

"Do you want her to see this?" Riker asked.

Picard shook his head. "No. Let's get out of here." He went back through the door. "Are you almost done, Data?" he asked and took Shea by the arm. The others entered the room again behind him.

"Almost, Captain. Would you like an exact count?"

"No, just follow us when you can. Let's go," he said to Shea and hurried her back the way they had first entered, out into the garden, and toward the streets again. Shea studied his grim expression and made no protest as he rushed her along with him.

"Is something chasing us?" she finally asked, knowing of course that nothing was.

"Possibly," he said, and to her surprise he didn't seem to be jesting.

Before they reached the gate, Data had caught up to them.

"I assume you completed your task, Mr. Data."

"Affirmative, Captain. The entire text is part of my memory now. I can reference it at will or recite it in full at your convenience."

"Very good. Now I want you to analyze it and compare it to what we've learned so far. When we get back to camp, we'll discuss your findings."

"Understood, Captain."

Darkness had descended in their absence and they found their way by the light of the camp fires.

"Home sweet home," Deanna pronounced when they stood in the center of their circle of tents once again.

Someone had kindly stoked a fire for them, and they gathered around it for warmth. Deanna's sarcastic words were the first ones spoken since they had left the city, and now they all stood there staring at the fire, sharing an awkward silence. Shea noticed that Data stood on the far side of the fire instead of beside her as was his usual behavior.

"All right," Shea said at last. "You all obviously saw something or heard something or read something you're uncomfortable about sharing with me, so come on, let's have it."

"There were two paintings of you," Picard answered after a moment. "One of you as you are now, and one of you transformed by their holy fire. Not just a hand or an arm, but completely."

"And you're sure it was me?"

"Oh please," Picard said, losing patience. "Enough with the denials. Clearly all of this is about you. It has been from the beginning. It's obviously the reason Q brought us here, to deal with this preposterous religion that's grown up around you and this book you wrote. The resulting damage to this world may be irreparable."

Shea wanted to defend herself, but found she had nothing to say.

Picard turned to Data. "Have you completed your analysis, Data?" Data nodded. "Good. Let's hear your conclusions."

"Yes, sir. As you all know I have compiled a significant amount of information by interviewing the locals here, speaking with Shea when she was under the influence of alcohol and a hallucinogen, and now reading the treatise Shea herself wrote approximately two hundred years ago. I have analyzed the events and her activities here at the time and find…" Data paused for a moment, as if trying to collect himself. "I find that our best course of action…. that is what I would recommend…" He stopped again and looked at her with tears in his eyes. "Forgive me, but I must turn off my emotion chip to continue."

Data's eyes twitched as he did so. His expression neutralized. He quickly moved around the fire toward Shea. Something inside her told her to run, but she just couldn't believe Data could ever harm her, so she stopped herself. Then he stepped behind her and pinned her to him.

"Oh, Data. What are you doing?" Shea closed her eyes, berating herself for not listening to her gut.

"It is important that you do not attempt to leave," he told her flatly, then he addressed the others. "I believe it is in everyone's best interest to terminate Shea's life. When you give me permission, Captain, I will see to it personally."

For a moment, there was only stunned silence.

"Data, no. You've sworn to protect her. She's your friend," Picard reminded him.

"That is true. I did not come to this decision easily," Data replied, seeing the alarm on all of their faces. "I am well aware of the price I will pay for what I am about to do, and it is my greatest wish that one of you can dissuade me. In order to do so, you must tell me something I do not know or have not considered."

"How can we do that, when we don't understand why you're doing this at all?" Riker said.

"He's right. Data, you must explain your reasoning to us," Picard told him.

"Agreed, but I sincerely doubt you will find an error in my logic. My analysis in based on the following facts. On the first night of each Equinox, the tears in the fabric of this reality coincide with the tears in another dimension. As the openings pass over each other, the portal widens allowing the life forms known as demons to come through to this world at will. The portal peaks on the fifteenth day then gradually closes again until the next Equinox, when the pattern repeats. You may recall her telling us that the first attack occurred on the night before Naroth was to wed. My analysis shows that Shea herself was the cause of the original attack. Under the influence of the flames her strong negative emotions subconsciously tore the existing portal wide open. You have seen that she has an affinity for this other dimension, that exposure to it changes her molecular structure. A structure which I believe is similar if not identical to that of her creator, D, in his natural state. If this alternate universe is not the actual Chaos from which he was born, then it is one that is closely related. When the portal opens again, she will transform, whether she chooses to or not. And when she does, we will all be in serious danger."

"You really mean to kill me, don't you?" Shea said.

"Yes," Data confirmed. "I will try to make it quick and painless. You can regenerate after we find a way to leave this planet. In the meantime, I will guard your remains."

"Good old Data, always watching out for me. It could be a very long time though. How do you plan to leave this planet?"

"The crystals can power Ship's engines. There are many of them here in the city. The majority are implanted in the walls as part of their defensive strategy."

"So you would steal this city's means of defending itself, take the crystals for your own use, and depart, leaving these people to die."

"That is not my intention. We will find more crystals and empower them."

"And how were the old crystals empowered?"

"You transferred the energy from the flames into them."

"But now I'm going to be dead, so how is that going to work?"

"I am confident Mr. La Forge and I will be able to solve that issue in time and repower Ship."

"And then you'll have an energized sailing vessel."

"We have the Ketlons. They will know how to restore Ship once we have an energy source."

"Sounds like you've got it all figured out, but you admit to having serious obstacles to overcome. Perhaps the benefit of having me alive outweighs the possible danger I may present. I am very aware that touching the flame is a bad idea. I have no intention of transforming."

"You will not be able to prevent it."

"But you know I want to, so maybe you should err on the side of giving me the benefit of the doubt."

Data regarded her a moment. "I wish that I could, but I read what you wrote and there is no room for doubt. You became a menace of major proportion and destructive ability. I cannot allow that to happen again."

"There is something you may not have taken into account, Data," Picard interjected. "She didn't have us with her then. She cares for us. She will listen to us. She will listen to me."

"In her transformed state, she will not care and she will not listen," Data insisted.

"Please don't do this," Deanna said. "You'll regret it. I know you will."

"As do I, Counselor," he agreed. He waited a moment longer, until it was clear no one could think of anything else to say. "I regret that you have not brought any new information to my attention." He moved a hand to her throat.

"Hold that thought, Android," Q interrupted, his head flashing into existence in the middle of their camp fire. "If it's new information you require, consider this. The Continuum is the only thing keeping D from entering this world. We are guarding the gates against him. The only reason we do so is to see this experiment continue to its fruition. End Shea's life and you end our protection."

Data removed his hand. "That is new information. The threat of D's presence outweighs the threat of Shea's transformation. I have been dissuaded." He released her.

"Good choice," Q said and his head disappeared, leaving only the camp fire before them again.

Shea rubbed her bruised neck and looked at Data. "Have you got your emotion chip back on yet? Cause when you do, I hope you feel like shit. I can't believe it took Q's interference to save me. I trusted you, Data."

"You would have regenerated," he reminded her.

"You say that like it's no big deal. Believe me, it's a big deal. It's painful and messy and prolonged. I don't just pop in and out of existence like Q's parlor tricks."

"I regret if I have damaged our friendship," he stated. "I do value it."

"Apparently, not enough." She looked around at the faces before her, "It seems none of you do."

"That's not fair," Picard answered.

"You clearly don't trust me," she said. "Which is partly my fault. I have been in denial as you said. Time for that to change. I'm going back to see Naroth. Even if it feels as if my head will explode, I will read what I wrote… every word. And I'll look at the paintings and I'll listen to what he has to say. Don't expect me back for awhile." She turned and walked away. Data followed her automatically.

"Your company is not appreciated," she told him.

"You did ask me to be your chaperone in Naroth's presence," he reminded her.

"I asked you a lot of things. Consider yourself off the hook. I'm going alone." When she disappeared into the dark, Data did not follow.

"I don't envy him when he turns his emotion chip on again," Deanna said looking at him standing in the distance watching Shea leave.

"Right now, it's a little hard for me to feel sorry for him," Picard said bitterly.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

When Shea reached the city gates, the guards allowed her entry once again. Apparently, they had standing orders to let her wander where she would and bowed respectfully without question or challenge. The streets were nearly empty now in the late hour. The few people she crossed paths with, also bowed in welcome and smiled. Their evident happiness to see her contrasted sharply with the expressions on the faces she had left behind.

She found her way back to the Queen's Garden, now fragrant in the night air. She found it appealing to her senses, which of course made perfect sense, if in fact she had been the one who had chosen its night blooming flowers. She stood at King Naroth's door again and thought of the man waiting for her within. He was a stranger, but a stranger she recognized on some deep subliminal level. She had told Data she did not want to be intimidate with him, which was of course a lie. Otherwise, she wouldn't have needed a chaperone. The attraction was strong and mutual. She hadn't lied to Picard when she said she was returning to read the book and see the paintings. She had every intention of doing both. She pounded on the door. A manservant greeted her, smiled as he bowed deeply, and waved her to enter.

"My lord will be so very pleased," he told her. "I will summon him for you."

She walked into the room holding the table where they had all sat earlier. The evidence of their shared meal had been cleared away, but the heavy leather book Data had memorized remained. She stared at its embellished cover only now seeing what it depicted, a crown of snakes. She felt the beginnings of a dull throb in her temples. She pushed the pain back, compartmentalizing it. She flipped open the cover and pulled a foot tall lit candle closer until the handwriting came into focus. She couldn't deny it was her own. She sat down and began to read, concentrating on the text despite the throbbing in her head. As she read on, the pain receded and there was only the tale she had written and the images it summoned into her mind.

Once again, she smelled the sharp tang of the ocean, heard men's voices raised in battle and felt the touch of the hand of the man she had chosen. She felt the hurt when she planned his wedding to another and her relief when it was called off, an emotion that surpassed even the horror of the demons attacking them. She read on as their lives changed to accommodate the new reality of living under the threat of the demons and how she chose the influence of the flames more and more until there was almost no other way of life. And she remembered the choices she had made, and the destruction she had wrought, all in the name of preserving the kingdom and the line of succession in Naroth's name. When she finally looked up from the pages, the candle light sputtered its last in a pool of melted wax.

"You've been reading for hours," Naroth said. She saw him now sitting in the dark at the head of the table. "I see you've completed the story part of the book. The following pages set forth our laws. After that, you drew diagrams for construction of the aqueducts, the baths, blast furnaces, and more. Next, you'll find your alphabet, keys to pronunciation of the language, a dictionary, technological references, a starmap of your place of origin, daily personal reflections…. you were very thorough."

"So you taught yourself to read and speak Federation Standard from my text."

"No, I only use it to refresh my memory. You taught me to speak it."

"How can that be? You're not more than 30 or 35 years old I would estimate. I've been gone from this world for nearly two hundred of your years."

"This body is thirty-two years of age. My memory is much older. I am the first Naroth as well as the fifth. My spirit has passed down to each of my successors just as you intended it would. I have been waiting for you to return for a very long time."

She scowled uncertainly, yet felt he was being truthful. If she had addressed this in her writings, she hadn't come to that part yet. "Show me the paintings," she said.

When he stood, she followed him into a long wide hall filled with tapestries and art. She slowly worked her way around the room, staring intently at each scene depicted. They were the artists' romanticized imaginings, but she recognized the historical significance. She stopped for a long time on the portrait of Naroth the First.

"You do look very much like him," she said, "but you have my non-human traits as well."

"That was also by your design. Your genetic code is strengthened by exposure to the flames. Your son and his could commune with the flames like you. But we lost that ability in succeeding generations. I do not think you meant to be gone as long as you were. The crystals have weakened as your blood has thinned in our veins. Now that you have returned, the blood will be refreshed and the power restored."

"The blood, huh? Obviously everyone here knew full well I was a flesh and blood human being, so why did I end up the focus of a religion?" she asked.

"How else were the people supposed to explain that?" He pointed to a larger than life full-figure portrait above the door.

The painting portrayed her in her transformed state. She had to agree with Picard. It was shocking to see her eyes staring out from that altered visage. The artist had captured an expression that telegraphed a cold calculating pitiless mind. Shea did not like what she saw there, but she recognized herself nonetheless.

"It's coming back to you, isn't it?" he asked standing behind her.

Shea nodded. "More and more. It's strange and disturbing, but familiar and, I hate to admit it, … enticing."

"Power always is." He ran the back of his fingers down her bare arm making her shiver. "Do you remember my touch?"

When she didn't answer, he moved his hand around the front of her waist pulling her back toward his chest, reminding her of what had happened with Data earlier. She moved away and touched her neck.

"You're badly bruised. What happened?"

"Data took exception to the possibility of my being transformed into that woman in the painting."

"This android has the ability to kill you?"

"He's far stronger than I am. I might have been able to elude him if I'd reacted faster, but… I trusted him. I won't make that mistake again."

"Stay here then. Do not return. We will keep you safe."

"It doesn't worry you that I could turn into that again?" she asked, indicating her dark self.

"Worry me? No, it excites me. I love you as you are now, but I worship what you can become."

She shook her head. "You don't even know me."

"You're wrong about that," he insisted, "Please, come with me. I have more to show you."

He took her by the hand and led her from the Great Hall into a still larger room, with thick stone columns holding up a painted ceiling. A large ornate throne sat on a raised dais ahead. Shea thought back to a similar throne room where she had witnessed a Klingon ceremony honoring Kahless years ago. But here the room was empty and no glowering Klingon sat on the throne.

"Is this where you conduct official business?"

"On formal occasions," he replied.

As they approached the gilded chair, Shea noticed another seat elevated behind it, carved in black stone. Upon the seat lay a darkly glowing crown that pulsed softly.

"You left this here for yourself," he told her pointing at the crown. "It has not been touched since."

She approached the crown cautiously and lowered herself to see it at eye level. The crown appeared to be constructed of the native crystal capable of trapping and transporting the energy of the flames. Its maker had carved the crystal into a circle of entangled open-mouthed serpents ready to strike. She backed away from it.

"Snakes seem to be a repeating theme around here," she said.

He nodded. "It began with your pirate flag. You thought it amusing the way it represented how your hair can sometimes bite."

She frowned at the thought. "I don't feel much like laughing."

"I am sorry you find all this troubling. There was much to celebrate between us at one time."

"Not us. You are not the Naroth I knew. You are his descendant and mine."

"I am both."

"Most people would think that's severely twisted."

"We are not like most people."

"I hope you're wrong about that," she said and turned away. He caught her in his arms and kissed her. She meant to push him away, but instead found herself kissing him back. It felt good at first, and so familiar that it seemed as if she were exactly where she should be, doing exactly what she should be doing, then it all became too familiar, almost as if she were kissing herself. This didn't feel right at all. She shoved him back. "That's enough," she told him.

He sighed and stepped back holding his powerful arms up in mock surrender. She couldn't help but see how handsome and well built he was.

"I've stayed too long," she said and headed for the door. "I'm going back to my camp."

"Wait. What about this traitorous android of yours? What if he attempts to harm you again?"

"I'll be fine," she replied.

"If you insist upon returning, at least take some of my troops with you for protection."

"I don't need protecting," she said, annoyed at the very idea, but then it occurred to her that their added muscle would come in handy. "On second thought, I'd appreciate the help." She did a quick calculation in her mind. "Would ten be too many?"

"Not at all. I will see to it."

"Good. I have some equipment I would like to store for safekeeping - here perhaps, if you have no objection."

"This is your home. Use it however you wish."

She smiled appreciatively at him, recognizing his desire to protect her and make her feel welcome. It felt good to be accepted, to be trusted. "Perhaps I will."

#

Geordi joined Riker by the camp fire in the early morning with his bowl of breakfast. He looked over to see Data hadn't moved. He still stood alone silhouetted by the rising sun, watching the road to the city beyond.

"Think she'll come back?" Geordi asked Riker.

Riker shrugged. "Who knows? I could never predict what she would do or say even back when I thought I knew her."

"He hasn't moved an inch from that spot all night."

"He acts like her lap dog," Riker said in disgust.

"That's Data you're talking about," Geordi reminded him. "And last night, he almost killed her to protect us. He's as loyal as they come, but he's no lap dog."

"I know. I'm sorry… that was a thoughtless remark."

"How's Captain Picard taking all this?"

"Worried. Like the rest of us."

Data turned around and walked toward them. "Shea is returning. I will alert Captain Picard."

Riker squinted his eyes and saw that someone was approaching. If it was Shea, she wasn't alone.

Picard tugged his boots on, preparing to leave his tent. He hadn't slept well, which was no surprise to him. It was the first night he had been apart from her since he had resigned from Starfleet. He heard Data's voice calling him.

"Shea has returned, Captain, along with ten of Naroth's soldiers."

"They may be coming after you, Data. Do whatever you must to protect yourself."

"Understood."

Picard stood in front of Data waiting for her. Shea waved the soldiers following her to stop where they were. She took a large bag from one of them and continued to walk toward the camp.

"Morning," she called out and casually waved to everyone watching her. "Had breakfast, yet?"

Geordi lifted the bowl in his hands. "Such as it is."

"I brought some of that bread and fresh fruit we had last night," she told them and handed the bag to Geordi. "Figured it had to be an improvement."

"You got that right," Geordi agreed.

Shea looked at Riker's suspicious expression and his rumpled hair. "Rough night?" she asked.

"I slept just fine," he replied. "How about you?"

"Not a wink," she said with a suggestive smile. "I just may have to take a nap."

"I take it you and Naroth found common ground?"

"Nicely put. I like that."

Picard frowned at her, already knowing nothing had happened between her and Naroth. "Now why would you want to give Will the wrong idea?"

"Maybe it's because he always expects the worst of me, and I really hate disappointing him. So how are you, Jean-Luc?" she asked. "Get any sleep?"

"Not much," he admitted.

"Still better than I did," she said, sincere now. "I got about halfway through that book I wrote. Very enlightening." She turned her attention from Picard to Data standing a few feet behind the two captains.

"But you know all about that, don't you, Data?"

"I have committed your writings to memory," he replied.

"Me too. At least as far as I got. I don't have your lightening speed when it comes to reading and computing and analyzing, though few would call me a slouch. Still, compared to you, I'm a poor student."

Shea went to step around Picard, but he blocked her. "Why have you brought soldiers with you?" he asked.

"Naroth insisted. He's worried about my safety. Now if you'll let me by, I would like to talk to Data."

"What are your intentions?" he demanded.

"Jean, it strikes me as rather interesting that you're standing between us now, whereas last night, you did not." She stared at him accusingly until he looked away and she moved around him.

"So Data, tell me, have you re-activated your emotion chip yet?" she asked as she walked up to him.

"Not yet. I thought it best to wait."

"Really? So what is it you're waiting for?"

"Until I am ready."

"And how will you know when you're ready? You have an ironclad memory so it's not like you'll forget over time. Obviously, the facts won't change. Unless you've decided to never feel anything again, isn't now as good a time as any? Can you think of a logical reason for delay?"

Data considered her argument, "In fact, I cannot."

"Then do it."

He hesitated for a fraction of a second, which for him was surely an eternity, then activated his emotion chip. Suddenly, he could no longer bear to look her in the eye and he dropped his gaze. Shea lifted his chin so she could see his yellow eyes, "Feeling guilty?"

"Yes," he answered, his voice catching.

"It's all right, Data. I forgive you." She kissed him gently on the lips and made him cry. "You were only doing what you thought best."

He nodded and looked away again, unable to speak. She placed a comforting hand onto his chest.

"I know why you came to the decision you did. I saw the painting of me transformed. The look on my face was cold and heartless. So, of course, I completely understand why you thought you needed to kill me. I'm sure you'll understand why I've come to the same conclusion. Because that look is the very same one that was on your face last night when you shut off your emotion chip."

He scowled at her uncertainly.

"Bye bye, Data," she said. His eyes opened wide, and the hand she held pressed to his chest blackened up to her elbow. He fell backwards onto the ground motionless. "Like I said, I read my book," Shea told his lifeless body.

Picard bent down and checked Data. When he saw that Data was unresponsive, he looked back up at her angrily. "What have you done?"

"Protected myself. Somebody has to."

Riker gripped the handle of his sword threateningly, and Shea's eyes narrowed. Picard threw his arm in front of him. "Don't be stupid, Will."

Shea shook her head. "Last night, you were all so calm and resigned. No one raised a hand on my behalf, but now you're ready to do battle. You're getting worked up over nothing. I simply reclaimed the energy I previously loaned to him. He is otherwise intact. I can re-energize him whenever we need him."

"He had already backed down. You didn't need to do this," Picard told her.

"I couldn't be certain of that. Besides, quid pro quo, as they say." She snapped her fingers at the soldiers who now came racing forward. "Store his body where I told you," she ordered.

Picard watched the men heft Data's heavy body. "Where are you taking him?"

"Into the city, where he'll be safe. You needn't worry."

Picard stared at her blackened arm. "Is this the beginning of it then?"

"No, not yet. I'll transfer this into some of the crystals that are fading. I'll probably stay in the city awhile. I have more reading to do. And questions for Naroth."

"I'd better go with you," Picard said.

"Don't bother. I don't need your help, and Naroth doesn't like you." She felt herself being mean to him and recognized she was being affected by the energy in her arm. She concentrated on pushing the influence away. "What I meant to say is that I'm concerned for your safety. Please trust me, Jean-Luc. I'm trying to find out as much as I can. My loyalty is still to you and our crew. Despite your lack of it to me," she added nastily, and walked away following the soldiers as they carried Data off to the city behind the wall.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

"I'm starting to think Data had the right idea," Riker stated.

"That kind of thinking is exactly why we're in this mess," Picard replied. "We're alienating her precisely when we most need to strengthen our ties." He looked around at the faces of the officers he had gathered together… what was left of his senior staff and that of the Enterprise. Shea was still missing and the sun was going down. "We're stuck here for the duration of Q's experiment. We have little choice but to make the best of it."

Deanna raised a hand, which he acknowledged. "I think it would be helpful if you shared Q's remarks with everyone about what he's expecting from us, and from you in particular."

Picard grimaced but nodded in agreement. "Q said he's relying on us to keep her under control. He also mentioned my experience with the Nexus, in particular the fact that I was able to see through it. He said I needed to do the same for her. Actually, to be precise he told me I needed to wake her up."

"Cryptic as usual," Geordi noted.

"Yes," Picard agreed, "the only thing I really got out of it is that she needs our help as much as we need hers. We are interdependent and we'd all better remember that. We don't want to be in adversarial situation."

"Right now, she's feeling betrayed," Deanna commented. "We need to reassure her. Perhaps we should start by apologizing."

"For what?" Riker demanded. "We didn't know what Data was going to do until he nearly did it. That wasn't our fault."

"I think we can dispense with apologies," Picard said. "They would be somewhat meaningless under the circumstances. What she does need to hear is that we trust her and support her and sympathize with what she's experiencing."

"That's asking a lot," Riker said.

"Hey, I sympathize," Geordi said. "With my implants I can see for myself the changes she experiences from that energy. I can't imagine what that must feel like."

"I sympathize as well," Dr. Bashir agreed. "She's got my support."

"She has mine also," Deanna said. She looked expectantly at Worf, who remained silent.

"I will attempt to be more sympathetic," he said at last.

"I noticed nobody said they trusted her," Riker observed.

"That's my job," Picard replied. "I trust her. And I hope you will in turn trust my judgment in that regard."

"If you say so," Riker replied. "I just hope you have as much insight into her mind as you think you do."

"I'm wondering if we're looking at this all wrong," Geordi said. "If these demons are even close to what's being described, maybe having her transform will be a good thing for everybody."

"These people here sure seem to think so," Deanna said. "They're thrilled she's here."

"Well, we won't have to wait much longer to find out who's right," Dr. Bashir said, "seeing as this is our last night before the Equinox. I, for one, plan to get good and drunk. I've learned that the locals love their wine, their music and their women, and by tradition they'll be partying hard on their last night before this battle begins. If anyone needs me, I'll be the one dancing with the ladies." He pushed himself up to his feet, then hesitated. "We are dismissed, right?"

Picard nodded. As he watched the doctor head out toward the citizens' side of the camp, he smiled a bit. "Julian reminds me of someone I used to know."

"Who's that?" Riker asked.

"You, before you became a captain."

"That's true," Deanna agreed. "Will's turned into a bit of a curmudgeon, hasn't he?"

"It's called being responsible," Riker protested.

"Oh yes," Picard replied, "I remember that word. It took over my whole life and crowded out everything else. I hoped you'd do better finding a balance between your professional life and your personal one."

"Don't worry. He has me," Deanna said with a smile.

"Point taken."

"So are you suggesting we join the party?" Riker asked.

"I am. We could all use a little distraction I think. Also, I have a feeling if Shea comes back tonight, that's where she'll head. We haven't been very much fun for her lately, and she's probably going to want to let off some steam. I plan to be there when she does."

#

The number of people on the citizen's side of the camp swelled as more locals came out from the city with food and drink to join in the merriment, and many of the Enterprise and Ship's crew wandered over to see what all the music, dancing and laughter was about. By the time Picard went over, the party was in full swing. He worked his way through the crowd, nodding at the faces he recognized. The music backed by heart-pounding drums seemed to be coming from the center of the festivities, so he moved in that direction. Suddenly, someone thrust a large mug in front of him.

"You'll need one of these to get in the spirit of things," Riker yelled to be heard. "It's not bad, but it's got quite a kick. Sort of like Klingon Ale. Worf's loving it." Picard took the proffered mug and Riker knocked it with his own. "Down the hatch!" he yelled and up ended his mug.

Picard tried the drink and decided it was reasonably palatable. "Any sign of Shea?" he asked.

"Oh yeah," Riker nodded and grinned. "That's why I've been out here watching for you. Right this way." He waved him to follow. They continued in the direction Picard had been headed, toward the center where the music was coming from. They squeezed through the crowd until they came to a large open area filled with gyrating dancers, clapping their hands, and pounding their feet to the drums. The women spun their skirts, while the men spun around the women, and they all seemed to be having a very good time doing it. Riker guided him around the outskirts of the dancers until they came upon the musicians and drummers. A number of them were playing flute like instruments and stringed guitars, but the majority were pounding the skins of drums held between their knees. Riker pointed and Picard saw that the drummer in the center was Shea. She had dispensed with her road-worn uniform and dawned a version of the native dress, which in this case consisted of little more than strips of leather wrapped over her breasts and loins. She seemed to know what she was doing with the drum, pounding it furiously with the palms of her hands in exact choreography with the others, and whooping along with them.

"Guess she's letting off steam, like you said," Riker yelled.

Picard noticed Julian dance by with Deanna, both of them laughing. He saw Shea spot them as well. She put down her drum and stood. Immediately the music ceased. Julian and Deanna stopped where they were and turned toward Shea. Shea lifted her arms into the air and clanged together the two studded metal bracelets she wore on her wrists, then pointed at Deanna.

"I challenge this woman. Make her ready."

Instantly a group of giggling women surrounded Deanna, hiding her from view. Her uniform came flying out and when the women moved away, Deanna stood dressed in native attire only slightly more modest than Shea's own, and she too wore two wide studded metal bands on her wrists. Deanna backed up uncertainly.

"Hold your place," Shea told her. "You've been challenged."

"What's going on? What kind of challenge is she talking about?" Riker demanded of Picard, who could only shake his head in ignorance.

"I'm sure it's nothing to be alarmed about," Picard said reassuringly although he wasn't completely sure about that himself.

"I don't want to fight you," Deanna said. "We're friends, remember?"

"I remember everything," Shea said. "Hold your arms up like so." She lifted her arms with her elbows bent in demonstration. Shea nodded to the drummers and the drumbeating commenced again. "Watch me," she told Deanna and she began to dance to the drums, clanging her wrists together. Then she spun and clanged her bracelet against Deanna's. She spun again and lightly hit Deanna's other bracelet. The crowd clapped politely.

"Your turn," she said with a smile and waited.

"Okay," Deanna smiled back and gave it a try. When she spun and went to hit Shea's bracelet with her own, she would have missed if Shea hadn't moved to make the bracelets match. Shea spun her back forcefully. A few people booed.

"Try again. This is an exercise in balance, precision and grace, same as needed for handling a sword. Just remember what I taught you. You're also supposed to keep time with the drums."

Deanna nodded then moved again, this time with the drums as she had seen Shea do, and back spun hitting Shea's uplifted bracelet with a satisfying clang. Somebody whooped appreciatively. She spun again and hit the other bracelet.

"Good. Now we do it for real," Shea told her. She danced and spun and hit her bracelet hard against Deanna's knocking her off balance. She went at her again, clanging the other bracelet on Deanna's wrist and Deanna fell. The crowd cheered. Deanna scrambled to her feet, angry now. She charged and Shea sidestepped her, spun and hit her bracelet sending her sprawling again. More cheering followed. Deanna got up a little slower this time. She took a deep breath and seemed to calm herself. Deanna moved again in time to the beat, spun and came down hard on Shea's wrist. She spun again and connected again even harder making Shea give way a step. Riker whooped in appreciation and others clapped.

Shea nodded, stepped away and began clanging her bracelets together over her head with the drums. The watching crowd spread out, banging their bracelets alone or whacking each other's wrists in time to the drums.

"So what was the point of that?" Deanna asked.

"I wanted you to be familiar with using these bracelets. Be sure to wear them tomorrow night. They will help protect you," Shea told her. "Now let's forget about tomorrow. Come dance with me." She tugged Deanna into the center of the crowd and spun and gyrated to the drums and music, turning Deanna with her until she laughed and joined in. Picard and Riker watched the two women dancing with sensuous abandon.

"Now there's a side of Deanna I don't think I've seen before," Picard noted.

"Hey, I wouldn't have married her if she didn't know how to have a good time." Riker replied with a smile. "Uh oh," he said seeing the women now coming in their direction. Shea tugged Picard into the dancing crowd and Deanna grabbed Will. The two men soon found themselves spinning with them.

The festivities lasted until first light. Only then did people finally began to disperse and the drums go silent. This was the morning of the Equinox when the day and the night would be of equal measure, a crisp beautiful morning that should have been greeted with pleasure. But the expressions on people's faces now were somber and Picard noticed a poignancy in their hugged goodbye's.

He was deeply glad to feel Shea under his arm as he walked back to their tent, but it was a happiness mixed with trepidation. He had allowed the night's celebration to drive the fear from his thoughts, but now that fear returned unabated. Shea put her arm around his waist, but offered no words of comfort or reassurance. He wanted to tell her everything would be all right, but the words went to ash in his mouth, and all he could think of was the dark vision of her in that painting. She stopped walking and turned to put her arms around him. He held her tight, overwhelmed with dread. "I don't want to lose you," he said.

"It's hard for me to imagine that could even be possible," she answered, "but from what I wrote, it is. I should have known Data was right. He's always right. I'm so sorry Q interfered."

"Don't say that. You're strong. I believe you can keep your sense of self intact if you will yourself to do so. You just have to fight to remember who you are and who you care about."

"More of your bullshit," she said with a sad smile, "but as always I love the way you say it."

"I'm not saying this just to sound positive. I've trusted you with my mind and my heart for good reason. I can't believe you could ever forget the bond we have. I won't allow you to."

"You're the one with the strong will. I just hope I can do as well." After awhile, she finally let go and pulled him with her toward their tent. "Come on, let's try to forget for a little while longer. Everyone is going to spend this day sleeping. I think you and I can put it to better use."

#

Picard woke in the late afternoon to the sound of marching troops on the road. He sat up, seeing Shea was gone, grabbed his clothes and dressed quickly. When he climbed from the tent, he was relieved to see she hadn't gone far. She stood just beyond their camp watching the long line of city soldiers marching toward the outer wall. A few others were awake and watching as well. Picard walked over and stood next to her. "How many troops does Naroth have?" he asked her.

"About ten thousand conscripted. These are the first of the legions going to man the outer wall. They'll get the coals hot for the swords. The rest will join them before nightfall, along with every man and woman from the city and countryside who can hold a sword. The tops of those walls will be filled with defenders. We'll be expected to be among them."

A lone rider exited the city gate and came riding toward them cutting from the road over the furrowed fields.

"Don't tell me, that's Naroth again," Picard grumbled. Shea nodded in affirmation.

The rider slowed his mount and came to a stop in front of them, removing his helmet as he did so. "I was expecting you back this morning," Naroth told Shea, ignoring Captain Picard pointedly. "We still have much to discuss."

"I think we pretty much covered everything," Shea replied and moved closer to Picard so that their shoulders touched.

Naroth frowned at her, his displeasure evident. "It will soon grow dark. If you would step into the flame now we could better prepare."

"I've already told you. I won't be stepping into the flame at all," she said.

"Why do you continue to resist? Defend us as you have promised."

"I'll fight by your side along with the others who have come with me, but only as I am now, not as this cold creature you would have me become."

"You've managed to defend yourselves for nearly two hundred years, " Picard told him. "You don't need her."

"If you can call losing hundreds of people to these demons every time they attack, _managing_, then yes, we've managed without her. The crystals are fading in power and the attacks worsen each time. Over five hundred good men and women died in the last, and I expect this one will be far worse. Shea, you must intervene."

"The price is too high," Shea told him once more.

"How can you break your word to us? Why did you even come back then?" he asked bitterly.

"It wasn't by choice."

"You betray us so easily. I can only pray that you will feel differently when you hear your peoples' death cries as they scream to you for help. Their voices have rung in my ears far too long." He spun his mount and galloped after the troops heading toward the outer wall.

Picard sighed heavily as he watched Naroth ride away. "Five hundred. Do you think he was exaggerating?"

"No, unfortunately."

"Are you sure this is the right decision? If you can protect these people the way he thinks you can…"

"No, Data was right. It's far too dangerous."

"Tell me why exactly. What did you do?"

"To begin with, I sacrificed an entire city. Srilafgar was to the north of us here, lying between Trinora and the rifts. I could have warned the citizens, allowed them to evacuate in time, but I knew they would serve as a distraction. And when the last survivors came begging, I denied them protection, refused them entry and left them outside to die, all in order to buy us more time. It is said that these walls were built with the blood of Srilafgar."

"I'm sure you only did what you had to. Decisions of command are never easy."

"That's the point, Jean. It was easy. Just a simple question of math. It's not so much that I made that choice, it's that I didn't find it the least bit difficult. I suppose the notion of human sacrifice as part of their religion stems from that."

Picard considered what she had confessed and it was far from comforting. However, he could still explain it away. He had sacrificed people of his own along the way in order to save others and understood the necessity. "I'm still not convinced Data had adequate cause for his misgivings. Did you personally ever intentionally harm anyone?"

"Only those who got in my way or questioned my authority."

"How many times did this happen?"

"I couldn't give you a number. I didn't care enough to keep count. It was merely an annoying inconvenience, like swatting a buzzing fly. My writings only mentioned such events in passing when it related to something I felt important. Like eliminating protesting landowners when I seized their property. If they didn't back down immediately, I eliminated them. You've already experienced my attitude when I've only been partially affected. Try to imagine what I must have been like fully transformed. I became a walking weapon of mass destruction with no conscience whatsoever."

Picard hated to envision what she described but was convinced she wasn't exaggerating. "Then Data was right. It is absolutely imperative you stay away from those flames."

"I will do my very best. But if I prove unsuccessful, you must promise to stay away from me, Jean-Luc. Keep your distance and for god's sake don't challenge me. Don't let me wake from that nightmare to find I've done something I'll never forgive myself for. Promise me," she insisted.

"I promise to do whatever I can to help you remember who you are."

She shook her head. "You're not listening. I won't care. And if you annoy me, you won't live."


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Picard watched Shea as she walked along the outside edge of the wall's ledge outlined by the setting sun. If she were anyone else, his stomach would have been in knots, but he knew she had perfect balance and would not fall. Even if pushed, she would catch herself. He kept his own feet firmly planted on the wide walkway behind the waist high stones that topped the outer side of the wall. He peered over them to the ground far below, remembering Data telling him the wall's height measured 100 feet by the locals' method or 29 meters by their own. Either way, it was a long ways down, with a sheer surface so smooth he wondered if even Shea's razor sharp claws could find purchase. It was difficult to imagine that anyone or anything could scale it, yet here he stood along with thousands of others, armed and ready for just that.

"That is where she should be standing," Naroth told him angrily, gesturing to the section of the wall that bridged the gate and temple they had entered through, "but she refuses to come near it."

"Why there?" Picard asked.

"I will show you. Perhaps you can talk some sense into her where I have failed."

Picard followed Naroth walking between the front line of soldiers and the ones behind them manning the coals and the heated swords, to the section he had point to. In the floor of the walkway, lay an ornately embossed round metal lid. "When this is removed, the flames come up here through pipes from the temple below. It was her own design. See here on the walls' edge. These metal plates fit her palms exactly. They are wired to the crystals embedded in the walls. She need only stand in the flames and place her hands here to renew their energy. Her son and his had this ability as well, but it was lost in subsequent generations. For her this is a simple task. For any of us, an impossible one. I do not understand why she won't help us."

"Naroth, you know why she refuses. It would change her into something fearful and dangerous. She does not want to lose her humanity. What I can't understand is why you would want her to."

"It is the lesser of two evils, Captain. Sometimes we must choose between them. You must help me convince her to do this."

Picard shook his head. "It's not my decision. It's hers."

"You will both regret this."

A trumpet sounded. Naroth looked at Picard grimly. "The enemy has been sighted. Prepare yourself." He moved to the front of the wall and Picard moved next to him to look out at the softly lit landscape beyond. The crystals in the wall offered a low green hued light just bright enough to bring the trees and brush on the ground into focus. A half moon revealed the outlines of the hills beyond. Picard thought he detected something move along the hillside, like a dark wriggling mass coming closer until it reached the edge of the green light from the walls. The wave paused briefly. Then something vaguely manlike, in that it seemed to have a head and four limbs, leaped forward into the pale light and fell flat and motionless. Another followed, and another, and another still, until the creatures were flying and falling in a steady stream one upon the other, building layer upon layer, climbing up and on to the piles and building them ever higher.

"The light is too dim and there is no heat left. It's not even slowing them down this time." Naroth said. "To arms!" he called out and the soldiers manning the coals passed the heated swords to those in the front lines.

Picard grasped the sword he was handed and took his place at the wall, watching the creatures coming ever closer, up the sides of the wall from below. They were building themselves into multiple ramps to the top at an incredible rate of speed. Riker and Deanna squeezed in next to him, also armed, staring at the oncoming horde. Riker swore under his breath at the sight. The defenders lit huge pots of oil hanging over the sides of the wall and tipped their flaming contents down upon the living ramps. The screeches were deafening as the creatures died by the hundreds, but more and more came, not the least deterred, building upon the ashes of their brethren. The soldiers couldn't burn them fast enough and the living ramp grew steadily higher. The one to their right was slightly taller than the others and very nearly to the top of the wall. Suddenly one of the creatures threw itself up and over. For a split second, they saw a black faceless four-limbed being just before a soldier sliced it in two in mid-air and it made an ear piercing wail then fell into ashes at their feet.

"Well, now we know what a demon looks like alive and dead," Riker said.

And then all the ramps reached the top of the wall and creatures flung themselves forward like living arrows. Picard stabbed one that reached out for him, seeing it's blank head before it crumbled. Another one took its place almost before he had time to regain his footing. Riker and Troi were slashing at others beside him. When his sword began to cool, a soldier behind rushed forward with a red hot blade and took his place, letting him catch his breath. Now at the back of the line, he watched the battle, seeing the front lines fall back again and again each time to be replaced by fresh troops with heated weapons to fight until they too had to be replaced. Some failed to retreat fast enough with their cooled swords and were summarily pulled over the edge by an attacker before another defender could save him. The sounds of the wailing screeches of the creatures combined with human screams that faded in the distance as they were dragged away. Picard wondered how many of those belonged to his own people. In short order he found himself at the front of the defensive line again, fighting them off. Riker was there as well, grunting with the effort of wielding a blazing sword against them. Suddenly, one of the creatures got hold of Riker's wrist making him cry out in pain and it pulled him toward the edge. Another's sword came down upon the creature's head and Riker fell back released.

"You might do better standing behind your wife," Shea told him, tugging him to his feet and pushing him into the back line of defenders. "She was smart enough to wear the wrist guards you were issued."

She turned to Picard who had also been replaced by a fresh soldier. "This is worse than I thought," she said. "It's going to be a very long night." She stuck her cooled sword into the coals, grabbed a reddened one, and rushed back into the fray.

The fighting continued unabated as the night wore on, hour after hour, without pause or rest. The numbers of the demons seemed inexhaustible. No matter how many times they cut one to dust, another took its place. Gradually the dark lightened to the purple haze of twilight and the attack began to slow. When the first rays of the sun finally crept over the hillsides, the dark tide had retreated and no evidence of the attack remained except for piles of grayed dust on the ground below. A sounding horn gave the all clear signal. No victory cheers greeted the day, only exhaustion as the soldiers and volunteers put down their swords and made their way back to the city to rest.

"Congratulations, Captain," Naroth said as he walked away. "You've survived the first night. Only twenty-nine left to go. We'll take count of our dead today to see how long we can hold out at this rate. Perhaps now you understand what it means to manage without her."

#

When Picard returned to their camp, Shea was already there, standing in the sun, basking in its rays. He knew she was absorbing its energy through her skin, regaining her strength. For him it would take food and rest. He couldn't remember a time when he'd felt more depleted, and he'd thought himself to be in good shape. His fellow officers dragged themselves over to their respective tents and flopped onto the ground. He saw Dr. Bashir tugging off his boots with a pained expression. He looked over at Worf coming toward him. Worf looked only slightly less exhausted than the others.

"I have taken roll, sir. We have lost four people from the Enterprise and one from your crew." He handed over a list of names, all of whom Picard recognized. "At this rate, we should expect to lose over half our people before this is finished."

Picard nodded his understanding. "Thank you, Mr. Worf." Picard walked over to the doctor and sat down beside him. "Do you know what she's doing over there, Doctor?" he asked.

Julian nodded. "Absorbing sunlight through her skin and converting it to caloric energy through cellular respiration."

"Not exactly a human trait. I assume this ability relates to her being able to commune with these flames, as Naroth puts it."

"A reasonable hypothesis. Shea also has some internal organs whose purpose has never been fully understood. I told her I'd love to dissect them, but for some reason she wasn't too keen on the idea." He smiled at Picard tiredly. "I think I need to lie down for awhile."

Picard nodded sympathetically and let Julian crawl into his tent for some much needed rest. He decided he needed to do the same. He'd get something to eat later. When he awoke many hours after that, Shea was sleeping beside him, curled up with her stomach pressed to his back. He knew she was looking for comfort when she lay against him like that. He rolled over and put his arms around her, which of course woke her. "Sorry," he said automatically. "I didn't mean to wake you."

She smiled at that. "Yes, you did. But that's okay. I don't mind." She lay there quietly at first, but then asked the inevitable. "How many?"

"Five," he answered.

"Times thirty and that's being conservative. The attacks will grow more severe as the portals match up. What do you think I should do?"

"As it stands now, we may lose half or more of our own. I have no idea what Naroth's count is for his people. If you transform, do you think the casualties would be fewer?"

"By that, you mean to ask how many people are likely to die from my hand as opposed to the demons. I'm afraid I can't answer that. It's a complete unknown. Perhaps none, perhaps everyone. Both are equally possible."

"You did live among these people for a long time in your transformed state and most of them seemed to survive. And you apparently generated enough fans to result in a devoted following."

"Sounds like you're leaning toward me trying this stunt."

"Yes, and no. I don't want you to, but I can't help question my motives. If you change, I'm afraid you'll forget me. Or at least to care. I lost you once. I don't know if I'm strong enough to do it again."

"So which is the lesser evil, and why is it so hard tell?" She sighed, cuddled up, and fell back to sleep.

The blaring of horns woke them again. "It's nearly time to return to the wall," Shea said. "How are you feeling?"

He rolled over and groaned. "Stiff and sore all over. And this is only day two, or should I say night two."

"Let me help." She leaned over and kissed him deeply. He felt his aching muscles relax. "Better?"

He nodded. "I think everyone here could use some of that. Too bad there isn't enough of you to go around."

"Especially not now," she agreed. "I'm going to need my strength."

"Are you considering the flame?"

"No. I'd rather lay down my sword and be taken."

"They would drag you into the rift, the very source of the flames. Wouldn't the result be the same?"

"Okay, not a valid alternative. So I either become like them or continue to fight as I am. I prefer the latter. Any objection?"

"None," he answered without hesitation.

Once more the defenders manned the wall. The two Captains and their crewmembers took their places shoulder to shoulder with Naroth's soldiers and citizens prepared to do battle again. Naroth stood at the ready, as the daylight faded with the setting sun. Shea balanced on the wall's edge again, staring off into the distance.

"I take it you that you have not changed your mind," Norath said to her.

"You take it correctly."

"I did not know you would be so selfish." He shook his head. "You are not the woman I remember."

She glanced back at him. "You think I'm being selfish? I think I am protecting you from something even worse. In my transformed state, could you cut me down with a heated sword?"

"No," he admitted.

"I thought not. At least, against them you have some recourse. How would you defend yourself from me?"

"I would hope I would not need to."

"You and I both know there's no guarantee of that."

"Perhaps, but it is a risk I am willing to take."

"Well, I'm not." She turned away again.

"Then you leave me no choice." He raised his arm to his soldiers and the swords in their hands suddenly pointed at the throats of every member of Picard and Riker's crew. "Choose the flame, Shea, or choose their deaths."

Shea looked at Naroth and the swords raised against Picard and the others. "I don't believe you're capable of killing them in cold blood."

"We won't have to. My men will simply deny them the ability to defend themselves and allow them to be taken one by one until you relent. Many of them would die that way anyway. I'll just make sure it's them and not us. Their sacrifice will buy us time. We'll be able to rest for this night, and perhaps a few more. Unless, of course, you choose to save all of us. And if you still refuse, I understand there are more on your ship… including children."

"You wouldn't."

"I am a desperate man willing to take desperate measures. You will do this for us. You will keep your promise."

"I could easily kill you right now, Naroth. Your soldiers could not stop me."

"Perhaps. Though I think you will not raise a sword to me. If I am wrong, so be it. My soldiers have their orders and your people will die anyway. You cannot protect them all. Picard will be among the first over the wall, I promise you."

Shea looked from Naroth to Picard and the others, considering her options, and finally decided she had none worth attempting other than the one offered by Naroth. She stepped down from the ledge and drove her sword into the waiting coals. "I will do what you ask. Though you may not like the results." She saw that Picard was about to protest. When she shook her head at him, he recognized that she had made her decision and there was nothing more to be said.

Naroth signaled two of his men to remove the embossed metal lid from the walkway. As they lifted and slid it aside, green flames shot into the air. A trumpet sounded the alarm.

"They're coming," Naroth told her. "Take your place now."

She looked past the wall and saw the black tide rolling over the hills toward them. Despite what she had read from her own hand, she doubted anything could stop them, but at least attempting to do so might save Picard and the others. She stepped into the flames, feeling their warmth, even though others described them as ice cold. The flames caressed her filling her with a strange ecstasy, stimulating and erotic, removing her worries, her doubts and self-recriminations, leaving only a sense of extraordinary power and total clarity of thought and purpose.

She knew exactly what was necessary and exactly how to accomplish it. She stepped forward and looked down upon the black tide coming for them and waited for the right moment. She heard voices calling to her for action. She ignored them. The demons were busy building their ramps higher and higher and she regarded them dispassionately. Some would probably breach the wall and gain their ambition, dragging lives away with them. A few casualties were an acceptable price. She needed the ramps higher and wider. A soldier nearby went to pour his flaming oil down upon the creatures below, an act which would delay her intention. She knocked him aside and he fell over the wall with a sharp cry. She turned back to the activity below watching and waiting for the perfect moment. When the outer walls were nearly covered with the creatures from one end to the next, she stepped back into the flames and placed her hands upon the metal plates. She focused the energy pouring through her into the crystals embedded within the walls.

As Picard had watched her dark transformed figure staring over the wall to the ground below, he felt a combination of fear and fascination. She was terrifying and beautiful and completely oblivious to cries all around her as demons climbed over the walls and grabbed as many of the unarmed crew that they could. When she finally moved back into the flames, he thought it might be too late to save any of them. One of the creatures took hold of his arm, searing it with an icy grasp, and dragged him to the edge as he struggled to hang on to the wall. Suddenly, the pale green light beyond brightened to a blinding level and he squinted against it. The freezing grip on his arm released and the creature screamed and shot away from him. The landscape beyond lit up as if revealed in mid day and the ramps of creatures below writhed and screeched. Those caught unprotected in the light crumbled to dust. Others dashed from one shaded spot to another or tried to use their living captives as shields, until those creatures too crumbled and blew away. By waiting until she did, Picard realized she had destroyed far more of them than she would have otherwise, but the cost had been high. He saw the bodies of dozens of Starfleet crewmembers lying on the ground. A number of them still moved but many did not. In a few more seconds, he would have been lying next to them.

He looked back at Shea standing in the flames again, her eyes closed. She had sacrificed her humanity to save them but in doing so had ceased to care if they had been saved or not.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

They spent the remainder of the night and following day, rescuing the injured and burying the dead. The names were read aloud one by one, as Riker and Picard presided over the ceremonies acknowledging their sacrifice, and watching as the wrapped bodies were lowered into the ground. Twenty-five lost, which was bad enough, but Picard knew it could have been far worse. He wished for the sake of their families that the remains could be returned home, but that did not appear to be an option. He wasn't sure if it would be an option for any of them, ever.

Throughout all of this, Shea remained transfixed in the fire, standing above them with her eyes closed in her designated place on the wall as the flames burned green around her blackened body. He wondered what she felt there, or if she felt anything at all. He attempted numerous times to establish a mental link, but his attempts went unheeded. There had been no ripping apart of his mind when she had transformed, unlike the agony he had experienced when D had summarily severed their bond those nine years ago. This was just an unresponsive blankness, as if a door had been locked against him or there was simply no one there who cared to receive his call.

When the ceremonies ended and the attending crew members dispersed, Riker and Picard remained standing alone in the field where they had buried the dead, looking up at the wall and at Shea standing in the flames.

"Now what?" Riker asked at last.

Picard merely shook his head. He had no answers for his fellow captain.

"Have you thought of summoning Q again? Trying to wheedle some information from him on what he's waiting for?" Riker asked.

"Yes. No response so far. It appears we're on our own."

"Why did she wait so long? She could have stopped those things before anyone died."

"I don't think that was a priority. Apparently, she wanted to kill as many of them as she could and was willing to accept some losses in the process. All very logical, I'm sure."

"Are you defending her?"

"No. I'm explaining the way I believe she thinks now. It's simply a matter of expediency. There is no sentiment involved. She warned me to stay clear of her as she is now, and not to challenge her. The consequences could be deadly. I want you to keep that in mind as well."

"Will she change back at some point?"

"Naroth says that she will, once the attacks are over. Until then, we can expect to see her each day standing where she is now until nightfall when she will wake to defend the city again. Hopefully, we will experience no more losses before this ends."

"Until the next Equinox six months from now. This isn't exactly how I pictured my command."

Picard grimaced in sympathy. "Nor did I."

"We need to shake things up. I'm not just going to hang around here while this pattern repeats itself over and over. Maybe I should go up there and throw a rock at her head."

"I suggest you don't. But I concur that passive acceptance of our situation is unacceptable. We need a viable plan. Unfortunately, at the moment, I am fresh out of ideas. Maybe I'm just too tired to think. We only have a few hours left now before sunset. We should get some rest. Then we'll see how this coming night compares to the last."

Riker nodded in agreement and turned with Picard to walk back to the camp. He glanced back up at Shea one last time then froze in place. "I thought you said she wasn't supposed to move until nightfall."

Picard turned to see that Shea had stood away from the flame. She stepped up onto the hundred foot high wall's inside ledge and casually walked off of it into the air. She fell feet first and landed upright on the road below with a heavy ground shaking thump they could feel through the bottoms of their boots even from here. The soldiers who had been guarding her raced down the long stairs and ran to catch up as she walked toward the city.

"Come on," Picard said, feeling a renewed energy with this unexpected development. "Let's see what she's up to."

Picard made sure he and Riker kept a respectful distance as they followed her into the city, through the now empty market place, beyond the shared public baths, through the gardens and back inside Naroth's residence. All who witnessed her bowed and backed away, making sure no one impeded her path. Naroth came running down from the rooms above as she entered, and paused to share a look of mutual surprise with Picard and Riker who were following her. In a moment, he joined them, but remained silent as he followed her with them into the throne room. She walked toward the raised dais to the dark stone seat elevated behind the golden one. She lifted the softly glowing crystal crown that lay upon it, sat down and placed the crown on her head. She closed her eyes again and sat there, silent and unmoving once more.

"What is that?" Picard whispered to Naroth.

"Her crown. She left it there for herself. I know nothing about it other than that."

As they observed her, the crown deepened in color and brilliance and the carved entangled snakes seemed to come alive. They separated and stood upright mouths gaping, then snapped onto her darkened hair, sending sparks of green energy into it as they did so. She seemed not to feel anything untoward and remained fixed and stone-like. A few moments later, the snake heads released their biting grip, re-entangled with each other and returned to their dormant state. She opened her eyes, lifted the crown from her head and stood. She placed it back onto the seat and walked back the way she had come, acknowledging no one, as if the people present were no more real to her than the furniture and art decorating the room. They all followed her, back through the streets, out the gate and down the road again back to the wall. She climbed the long stairs up and re-took her place in the flames once more.

"So that's it?" Riker said, annoyed now. "I should have taken that nap."

Picard regarded him, equally annoyed. "You didn't find the way that crown interacted with her to be of interest?"

"Okay, that was unusual I admit. Maybe we should have Geordi take a look at it. See what he thinks."

"Good idea," Picard said with a note of sarcasm.

"It's just that she didn't say anything to any of us. She just walked by like we were invisible."

"Perhaps to her, we basically are," he said sadly.

Riker sighed as he looked at his old friend. "I'm sorry. I can't imagine how you must feel right now. If that were Deanna up there instead…" He just frowned and shook his head.

Picard half-smiled at the idea. "Then we'd probably have a lot less to worry about."

When the sun lowered in the sky again and dusk threatened, the defenders lined the outer wall once more. Picard stood with a sword in his hand and vowed not to be caught unarmed again. Naroth nodded to him. "You needn't worry, Captain. You and your people are safe now. She has kept her promise. We have no reason to threaten your lives again."

"I hope that's true. But I will keep my sword ready nonetheless."

Naroth just smiled confidently, crossed his arms and waited for the dark to descend. As it did, the trumpet sounded and Picard saw the dark wave coming over the hills again. To his surprise, it seemed not the least diminished in size despite the destruction Shea had wrought the previous night. He feared she would wait again for the moment when she could slaughter them at their most numerous point of vulnerability and more of the defenders would pay the price for her strategy. To his relief, she opened her eyes and placed her hands upon the metal plates immediately bringing the lights to midday brightness again. The oncoming horde froze at the light's edge and moved no further. The defenders roared and cheered, waving swords into the air victoriously. It looked as if there would be no casualties this night.

"Oh, now that is a beautiful sight," Deanna said smiling. "What a relief."

Riker hugged her appreciatively. "Yes, it is."

Picard watched Shea standing with her hands on the plates. As she withdrew them, the lights stayed fully lit. She looked down the wall before her from one side to the other as if taking its measure, then reached for the plates again and seemed to make an adjustment. The lights directly in front of her dimmed to a soft glow, making a dark path from the horde beyond to the wall where she stood. Immediately, the demon wave came rushing forward through that narrow divide and began piling one on top of the other, building a ramp toward her.

"What is she doing?" Picard asked. "They're coming for her."

Norath looked equally alarmed and signaled his men to defend her. As they rushed forward to her aid, she held out her hands on either side to stop them. "Do not interfere," she said. The tone of her voice remained the same but it sounded amplified. The living ramp below was building higher.

Picard well remembered her warning not to approach or challenge her in any way, but he couldn't bear to simply standby and watch her destroy herself. He put down his sword and stepped toward her.

"Shea, please, don't let these things hurt you."

She turned her eyes upon him. "You are concerned for my welfare."

"Yes, I am. I don't want any harm to come to you. I need you in my life."

"Interesting," she noted and looked away just as a demon flung itself over the wall at her. She moved toward it. It collided with her and turned to ash. More rushed at her, crumbling on contact. Her body began to glow softly, as more and more of the creatures pelted her. Picard realized they were having no ill effect on her. On the contrary she was absorbing their energy into herself. They continued flying at her, like moths turning to ash in flames they could not resist, and the glowing field around her hummed ever louder with energy and grew steadily brighter as they did. The onslaught continued unabated for the duration of the night until the sun began to peak over the horizon once more and the dark tide of demons stopped their attack upon her and receded. The pulsing energy hummed around her for a brief moment then she seemed to suck the last of it into her and stood there quietly again with her eyes closed.

Picard had watched along with the others through the night uncertain just what he was witnessing. As she stood again statue-like, he wondered if he dared approach her again. He was just about to get up the nerve, when she opened her eyes again.

"Bring me my crown," she said, "and bring me Data."

Norath's soldiers rushed to do her bidding. As she waited, her eyes closed again and she returned to a motionless meditative state.

When the soldiers returned with the crown and Data's leaden body, they laid them both at her feet. Her eyes opened again and she retrieved the crown, setting it gently on her head. She then placed a hand on Data and zapped him with energy. He immediately sat up and looked about curiously.

"I am in an unfamiliar location," he observed. Then his yellow eyes focused on the dark visage of Shea regarding him. "I see that the transformation has occurred. Is it your intention to cause my destruction? If so, I am curious as to why you would reactivate me first."

"That is not my intention," she stated. "I require your assistance. Get up."

He nodded and stood. "What is the nature of the assistance you require?"

"You will accompany me on my journey to Betu Ganstin. I intend to make the journey on foot and you are the only member of Ship's crew who can accomplish this with me. I now have sufficient energy to activate Ship's core engines. You will see that the crew does not interfere. They offer valuable manpower that I have no wish to waste. Do you agree to accompany me?"

"Agreed."

She turned to King Naroth. "You are my King and my child. It is your duty to defend Trinora in my absence. The walls are now fully charged so you should have no difficulty. We shall return in seven days' time. Come, Data."

She jumped from the wall to the ground below and Data followed also landing on his feet unharmed. She took off running as did he. Picard and the others watched in stunned amazement as the two figures receded into the distance and finally disappeared from view.

"Well, that was definitely unexpected," Riker said. "She's actually going back to get Ship."

Picard nodded and smiled. "It seems she remembers us, after all."


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Shea had promised to return in seven days. To Picard, the days and nights moved achingly slow. As before, the populace slept during the days and stood on guard throughout the nights watching the demon horde approach each night and struggle along the edge of the brilliant lighting from the wall. The lights were effective but not one hundred percent. A few managed to dart forward under the protection of foliage torn from trees, but when they touched the outer wall, its heat seared them quickly. None survived long enough to even begin to build ramps again. On the third night, the creatures began tunneling, digging furiously at the edge of the light. Great piles of dirt flew, growing higher as they made their way down heading toward the city wall. The soldiers walked the fields inside listening, searching for the points where they would surface. At each spot where the earth gave way, the soldiers stood ready with huge kettles of flaming oil that they poured down into the open tunnels. None of the creatures surfaced alive. When morning came again, the defenders filled the tunnels with fresh oil, ready to be lit with long fuses and backfilled the exits. The defense proved effective. None of the demons gained entry and no human lives were lost.

On the seventh day, Picard and Riker stood on the wall hoping to see Shea and Data returning the way they had left.

"These people know what they're doing," Riker observed as he watched the soldiers on the ground fill in more tunnels left by the demon attack from the previous night. "You have to admire their tenacity."

"True. But this continuous need for survival consumes an inordinate amount of their attention and resources. Small wonder that they've made so little progress."

"It does seem like a fairly miserable way to live."

"Shea said these things were mining this side as an energy source. Unfortunately, they seem to have no sense of the pain they are causing," Picard said.

"Well, if she keeps her appointment today, maybe she can tell us what they're thinking. Assuming she'll talk to us at all."

As the day wore on, more and more of the Starfleet personnel joined them on the wall, staring outward across the landscape. Deanna and a group of citizens showed up with sandwiches and passed them out. She sat down with her back against the stones and proceeded to enjoy one of them.

"These are really pretty good," she mumbled, her mouth half full. She offered one to Riker. He and Picard sat on either side of her and took some food for themselves.

"Too bad she didn't say what time she'd be back," Riker grumbled. "Not that anyone's watches work anyway."

"I think the only one around here who grouses more than you, is Worf," Picard noted.

Deanna smiled, "I've noticed that too."

"Sorry," Riker said, but unlike them he could find nothing to smile about. "I know I've been…difficult. It's just that here I am finally Captain of the Enterprise, and instead of standing on her bridge, I'm camping in the dirt and fighting off demons."

"There are many ways to demonstrate leadership, Will," Picard replied.

"You don't need to lecture me. It's just not where I hoped to be. Unlike you, I would never willingly walk away from Starfleet."

"Don't be so sure. After you've served as long as I have, you may feel differently."

"I know I wouldn't run away. Certainly not to jump into the arms of a woman, no matter how fascinating a life form she is, as you put it."

Picard grimaced and sighed. "Shea wasn't the only reason I wanted to resign. She was a wonderful excuse and destination, but not the primary cause. I quit because I needed to. I no longer fully trusted myself with that kind of responsibility. I was burnt out. I needed to move aside and let someone less jaded take my place."

Deanna stopped eating. "I had no idea you felt that way. You never shared this with me in our sessions."

"I know. I was deeply ashamed and unwilling to admit it to anyone, not even to myself."

"So I was correct, then. You were escaping something that was bothering you rather than dealing with it."

"I suppose so."

"It had something to do with Data rescuing you, didn't it? Please, Captain, tell us exactly what happened. I think you need to."

He sighed again and nodded grimly. "What happened is that I froze. I had run my clone through. I stood there staring into his dying eyes, witnessing my own mortality**. **The _Scimitar's_ thalaron radiation weapon was targeted on Earth counting down the final seconds, and I just stood there unable to move. If Data hadn't arrived when he did, I'm very much afraid no one on Earth would have survived. So, yes, I decided it was time to resign, and for good reason. I needed a fresh start and Shea has given it to me. I'm sorry I've pulled all of you into this, however. That part was never intended."

Deanna and Will said nothing in response, taking in what Picard had confessed. Both of them wanted to offer something supportive or comforting or insightful, but nothing came to mind. The silence might have stretched to an uncomfortable extent if a brisk wind hadn't suddenly come up buffeting their ears. Excited voices called out in surprise as a shadow crossed over them and they looked up to see the bottom of Ship floating in the air above. They quickly scrambled to their feet. Behind Ship, dwarfing it in size, came the Enterprise suspended in tow. The cheering of their fellow crewmembers was nearly deafening. But then something even louder drowned them out, when a hard pounding music, blared out at them. Riker started to laugh and shake his head. Some of the crew seemed to be singing along and jumping up and down.

"What is that awful racket?" Picard yelled to be heard.

"That's _Born to be Wild_, Cochran's theme song when he made the first jump to warp speed." Riker yelled back grinning. "Good old rock and roll heavy metal."

Ship's underbelly began flashing an image in time to the music, Shea's snake-headed Jolly Roger, grinning down at them with every drumbeat.

Picard grinned back. "She does love to make an entrance."

A moment later, he saw her materialize in the middle of the jumping and singing crew. Her hair had returned to its normal sun-refracting clarity, her skin was a golden brown, and she wore one of Ship's uniforms. She danced and sang along, then she spotted him and ran toward him throwing herself into his arms. He grabbed on tightly as she kissed him re-establishing their mental connection.

"Did I do well?" she asked excitedly.

"Oh yes, you did." He laughed with relief and happiness. "You might want to turn the volume down a bit, however."

She laughed, and the music softened and slowly faded away. The flashing image disappeared with it. "That better?"

"Yes, thank you. And I do mean, thank you. I knew you couldn't forget us, let alone what you and I mean to each other."

Her smile went away. "I wish that were true, Jean-Luc. But everything I said before still applies. In that form, I have no feelings for anyone other than myself. I only went after Ship because I knew she was powerful and would be of use to me. I downloaded all the energy I was carrying into Ship and the Enterprise, so I am back to my former self for now, but that could change if I stick around. So I'm going back on board and plan to stay there. I don't want to be tempted by the flames again." She pulled a communication badge from a pocket and pinned it to his chest. "You're in charge, Captain," she said and dematerialized again.

Picard tapped the badge on his chest. "Picard to Ship. Status report."

"Hello, my Captain," came Ship's calm neutral voice, "I have missed communicating with you. My status, as you requested, is excellent. I am fully restored as a spacefaring vessel and await your instruction."

"I'm glad to hear it. What is the status of the Enterprise?"

"Life support systems are in operation and the ship may be inhabited. Otherwise, the Enterprise is without power and must remain under tow."

"We have injured personnel here. Do both ships have operational sickbays?"

"Sadly, no. I apologize for the inconvenience, but there was insufficient power for the Enterprise."

"Understood. Prepare to transport the injured to your sickbay. Await for Dr. Bashir's instructions. Picard out." He looked around but did not see the man he sought. "Find me Dr. Bashir," he yelled. People began pointing toward the camp below. He almost ran for the stairs, then stopped himself. "Picard to Ship. Transport me to the center of our camp."

A moment later, he stood by the tents then headed for the location where Dr. Bashir was most likely to be... with his patients. Bashir met him half way. "Is sickbay up and running?"

"It is. Your patients have first priority."

He and Bashir worked together and the injured were soon transported to sickbay. When Dr. Bashir went with the last of them, Picard heard Riker running up behind him, breathless from the exertion.

"Did you forget something?" he panted. "One of those ships up there belongs to me."

"I'm well aware. Unfortunately, it only has life support now. You'll have to rely on Ship's transporters and towing service to get you where you want to be."

"Wonderful."

"There you go grousing again, when you should be grateful."

"I would have been more grateful if she'd powered up the Enterprise and put Ship under tow."

Picard chuckled. "She's smarter than that."

His communication badge buzzed at him. "Picard here."

"Of course you're there, where else would you be? Why don't you just say your name and leave it at that?" Shea said.

Picard rolled his eyes, "What is it?"

"I meant to tell you that I have Data and Scotty working on closing those portals. They have some good ideas, but I'd like Geordi's input. Would you send him up?"

"You're asking the wrong captain," Riker interjected.

"Oh. Hello, Will. Let's see then...Dear Captain William T. Riker of the USS Enterprise, I hereby request that you please permit your ship's chief engineer, Mr. Geordi LaForge, to assist us aboard Ship. Sincerely yours… blah, blah, blah…. Shea. Maybe I should make that pretty please with sugar on top. How was that?"

Riker shook his head. "Fine. I'll send him."

"Thank you." She clicked off.

"I would like to see this great starship of yours," Naroth said from behind Picard and Riker, startling them both. Naroth looked up at the floating ships. "If I were a mere citizen, I would believe this to be powerful magic. But I know instead that it is a product of your advanced technology. This is what Shea described when she promised to return with help from your world to save ours." His wondrous expression then saddened. "Instead, she forgot us. You fear that she will forget you when she is transformed to demon. I fear the same when she is human."

"I don't intend to abandon you," Picard told him, "and neither does she. We have our best people working on the problem. Our hope is that we can find a way to close the portals so that these creatures can no longer enter your world."

"I pray that you are successful," Naroth replied. "If she leaves us again, and the portals remain open, it is only a matter of time before we cease to exist as a people."

"I assure you that we will make every effort to make sure that does not happen."

The hour was growing late and Picard wanted to complete the transports before nightfall. The majority of the Starfleet personnel chose to return to their quarters on the Enterprise. A handful asked to remain on the ground to assist defending the wall. Picard debated whether to issue them phasers but decided against it. He did not know if phaser fire would be an effective deterrent. Best to stay with Naroth's already proven defensive measures. The remaining key personnel transported aboard Ship.

"Data, have you pinpointed the location where these invaders are entering this world?" Picard asked as soon as he materialized on Ships' bridge.

"Affirmative. I have set the coordinates."

"Let's go take a look. Quarter impulse."

Data entered the commands and the landscape below raced by as Ship moved north towing the Enterprise along with it.

Shea watched the ground fly by in the viewing window. "This journey took us three weeks by noral."

The landscaped changed gradually to rugged mountainous terrain. Picard spotted what he thought looked like the ruins of a city. "Is that…?"

"Srilafgar. Yes," She answered. "It was almost as big as Trinora. It was famous for its art and music. They loved their festivals too. People came from all over. I remember how colorfully they decorated everything with painted murals and tile, such devotion to the minutest detail. I met many of their citizens and leaders. Good people, all of them. I remember their faces. The same faces I closed my eyes to when they stood outside the walls of Trinora and begged for sanctuary."

"Stop it," Picard told her. "You weren't in your right mind. That wasn't you."

"Oh, that was me all right. It was definitely me. Maybe closing the portals now will make up for it a little. I hope Q thinks so and that when it's done, he will finally let us return home and I can forget I was ever here."

"We have reached our destination," Data announced and brought their forward momentum to a stop. Through the viewing window below, a great tear in the ground could be seen, as if a gigantic hand had dragged and twisted a sharp blade across the landscape.

"Welcome to the rifts," Shea said softly. "It looks so calm right now."

"Four minutes, thirty-seven seconds to sundown," Data announced.

"You've been here after dark?" Picard asked her.

"The night I threw myself into the flames. I thought that would be the end of it. Obviously, I was mistaken."

"You remember now I take it.

"Very clearly. I've already shared my experience with Data, Scotty and Geordi, hoping it may help. I assume you want to hear it as well." He nodded, and she continued. "The other side is a cold dark place, which I'm sure doesn't surprise you, considering how these things react to light and heat. What may surprise you is that they aren't really alive per se. They're more like tools for the sentient beings on the other side. I couldn't establish communication. I'm not sure they even perceived me as something alive. They only reacted to their tools being pulled off course by my presence. I think I was just some weird anomaly to them. All their efforts went into forcing me and these creatures up through the rifts again, and I soon found myself right back where I started. Seemed no point in trying it again."

"Mining tools," Picard concluded.

"Exactly. I doubt they understand that they're destroying another world. They've simply found a vein and they're tapping into it."

"So it's up to us to close it then. What have you come up with so far, Data?"

"Inconclusive theories at this point. We need to compile additional information which we hope to accomplish by scanning these demons, that is, mining tools, when they appear again tonight. Geordi would like to try capturing one. We need exact readings of their energy output and radiation signatures."

"He and Scotty are creating a holding cell," Shea said.

The door to the bridge opened and Geordi entered. He smiled wide at Shea for a brief moment, then seemed to remember why he was there. He looked at Captain Picard. "Our demon cage is up and running, Captain. Assuming Ship's transporters can lock onto one of these things, we're ready for it."

Picard raised his eyebrows at the thought of having one of those demented things on board. "You're certain it can't get loose?"

"Yes, sir," Geordi replied.

"Very well. We'll see what we can do to capture one then."

"Thirty-two seconds until sundown," Data reported.

"Prepare to lock on to one of them and transport to Geordi's holding cell."

"Understood," Data replied and entered the necessary coordinates.

"Here they come," Shea said, and they could all see it for themselves, as the rifts filled with flames and the dark creatures spilled forth like ants running from a nest on fire.

"I am initiating transport," Data reported, his fingers flying. "Transport complete."

"Let's see what we've got. You have the bridge, Data," Picard said and followed Geordi to Engineering. Shea and Riker followed as well. When they entered, Scotty met them with a wide eyed look. "Geordi tried describing these things to me, but I still wasn't fully prepared. Thank the heavens, our cell is holding it."

Picard saw the thing trapped in a tube of red light surrounded by a white glow. It was throwing itself wildly around inside the red light as if looking for a way out.

"The outer light simulates natural daylight and the interior is what we think is similar to its natural environment based on Shea's description," Geordi informed them.

As they approached, the thing froze and faced Shea. When she moved another step, it moved with her. "Walk around it," Picard told her. As she did, it turned with her like a homing beacon.

"Wow." Geordi said, "Now that's really interesting." He whipped out a tricorder and started taking readings as the two moved in tangent to each other. He went from one to the other, nodding as he observed the output. When he backed away, Shea walked toward the holding cell and stared at the faceless creature within. She began to lift a hand pushing toward it through the white light.

Picard grabbed her arm and pulled her back and away from the creature. "Don't touch it! Leave this room, now!"

She nodded and left without protest.

"What was that all about?" Scotty asked.

"We observed her absorbing energy from these creatures before. She was in a transformed state at the time, but it appears she is still drawn to them. I don't want this thing anywhere near her. Get your readings then destroy it."


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

"We have a working theory," Data stated to the officers gathered in Ship's observation lounge. "Our findings show that the spatial rupture in the rifts were created by powerful gravitational waves due to a build-up of tetryon emissions in the naturally occurring crystalline formations. The condition is further aggravated semi-annually by the added gravitational pull when the sun lines up with this planet's equator on the equinoxes. The process is not dissimilar to what happens when a phased cloaking device such as ours malfunctions allowing a bleed between graviton polarity sources thus creating a spatial ripple."

Data paused to bring up a three dimensional schematic of the rifts below them. "We hypothesize that coherent graviton pulse emissions delivered at these twelve source locations within the rifts will reverse the process and close the rupture."

"And how do you plan to deliver those emissions?" Riker asked.

"With gravimetric mines, adjusted to the same radiation frequency emitted by these demons, correction, mining tools, from the alternate universe."

"Those placement points on your schematic appear to be several kilometers below the surface, but I'm under the impression one cannot transport gravimetric weapons," Picard said.

"You are correct. Use of the transporter would be most unwise. Gravimetric mines are spatially unstable and tend to detonate during dematerialization. Additionally, the indicated placement points are at the precise overlap between this world's reality and that of the alternate one. Transport would be impossible to perform with any accuracy."

"Are you saying that these mines must be placed manually?" Riker asked.

"Yes, sir."

"And how do you plan to accomplish that?"

"We considered and eliminated several possible methods. I thought perhaps that I could perform the task, since I am fairly impervious to cold, do not need to breathe, and can withstand extreme pressure variations. Unfortunately the high level of tetryon emissions would overload my positronic brain functions, so we had to discard that possibility. A similar challenge occurs with the exposure of biological lifeforms to tetryon emissions. Humans experience hallucinations, disorientation, and finally death. Space suits are ineffective barriers. Programming for robotic probes would break down and distort as they approach the spatial rift. After eliminating each of these possible methods, we arrived at one viable solution."

"Absolutely not," Picard said firmly, anticipating what Data would say next. "You are not sending Shea down there. There has to be another way."

"I would be most pleased if you can discover one. Geordi, Scotty and I have not."

Picard sighed unhappily. If there were another way, these three certainly would have found it. He could hardly challenge their combined expertise. "You realize what you're suggesting. She would transform again. We can't be sure she would even complete the task."

"It is a significant risk," Data agreed. "Unfortunately, it appears to be our only option if we are intent upon repairing the spatial rupture."

"You know, I am right here. You might consult with me," Shea said.

Picard nodded. "All right. What do you think about this proposal?"

"I like it. I'll do it. It's in my own interest after all."

"Those flames and creatures are the source of the energy you absorb in that form. Why would you choose to relinquish such power?" Riker challenged her.

"For the same reason I transferred all that absorbed energy into Ship. I don't like it here. I wanted to return home when I was here before and I still do. If Q won't let me go home until we've done this, you can count on me to act in my own self-interest. I will close those rifts."

"You've never explained how you got out of here the last time." Riker said.

"It's not an exit strategy I would recommend. I summoned D. So you can imagine just how motivated I was."

"I suspected as much," Picard said. "I wonder if he made you forget this world, or if that was your choice."

"Who knows? Perhaps I just stopped caring when I no longer had to."

"That's exactly what worries me now. In your altered state, you will stop caring about any of us," Picard replied. "I can't possibly allow you to return to Ship in that condition. It would be far too dangerous."

"So what are you suggesting then? I save the day and you fly off and leave me here?"

"No, of course not. But you'd have to transfer your absorbed energy to something else before you could return."

"The Enterprise is only partially powered, " Riker reminded everyone. "I don't see why she couldn't offload into the engines, the same way she did for Ship."

"I suppose I could do that," Shea said.

"Of course you could," Picard agreed. "The question is will you."

Shea shrugged. "Guess we'll just have to wait and see."

Picard exchanged eye contact with the others then looked back at Shea. "Why don't you go to the bridge, while we finish up here," he suggested.

"Why? So you can talk about me behind my back? I don't think so."

"Very well," he turned to Geordi and Dr. Bashir, "I understand you have something else to share with us."

Geordi looked apologetically at Shea. "Yeah, we do. When I was taking those readings of that mining tool, we all noticed how it reacted to you, the way it honed in. So Julian, I mean Dr. Bashir, and I got to talking and comparing notes…"

"Please get to the point, Mr. La Forge," Picard urged him.

"Okay. So we discovered that this same radiation signature exists in one of your internal organs."

"This organ is one of those that we've never fully understood," Dr. Bashir interjected. "In the past we've theorized that it is somehow connected with your natural regenerative abilities, and we detected within it free floating tetryons, which are normally unstable outside of subspace, but we didn't know why or what purpose it served."

"This isn't news to me," Shea said. "What's your point?"

"The point is you're transmitting on the same frequency as the spatial rift," Geordi replied.

"You mean when I'm transformed," Shea said.

"No," Dr. Bashir replied. "All the time. It's part of your natural biological state."

"I'm not from that other place, if that's what you're suggesting."

"That's not what we're suggesting," Geordi said. "What we think is that you have a self-contained spatial rift inside you. Basically, you're a walking portal to other dimensions."

Shea stared at them for a moment. "Okay. That is news." She placed a hand over her stomach self-consciously. "I'm not really sure how to react to that."

Julian lifted her hand and moved it higher. "It's about there, near your heart. When exposed to radiation from an alternate dimension this organ of yours adapts causing a molecular transformation. You should revert back over time once the exposure ends."

"The existence of this spatial rift, explains why they hone in on you. They think you're the way back to their world," Geordi explained. "but instead, they simply crash and burn, depositing their energy into you."

Shea nodded, remembering how it felt, the rush of energy pouring into her. "So this is why I change when I'm exposed to these things."

"We think so," Geordi said.

"Can you also explain why I don't give a rat's ass about anybody when I do?"

"Perhaps for the same reason those beings on the other side failed to recognize you as a life form," Data suggested. "Your perceptions undoubtedly become closer to theirs."

"Damn," she said softly. "D moves between alternate universes all the time. This must be how he does it."

"And how he pulls you in with him," Picard added. "When you confessed that to me, I had Data run scans to detect any such activity. At the time, it was occurring on a daily basis. However, Data tells me it has recently ceased."

"Correct," Data stated. "I do not believe you have experienced any contact with D since we arrived on this world."

"Q told me the Continuum has been keeping him out," Picard said. "What I'd like to know is why now, when they've never defended you before."

Shea scowled uncertainly. "Hard to say. But we do know how much Q loves to meddle. Maybe that's all there is to it."

"Picard paused to consider the information presented before speaking again.

"Q remains an unknown quantity as always. All we can do is move forward with what we do know, and make the best choices we can. I believe closing these rifts is vital for all concerned. How long before you can have these gravimetric mines ready for placement?"

"Four, maybe five hours I'd say," Geordi replied.

"We won't want to go down there before morning anyway," Riker noted.

"Agreed. Keep me informed on your progress. Assuming everything is ready at first light, we'll proceed then. Dismissed."

#

When Picard entered his quarters, Shea was there relaxing on the bed waiting for him. He sat on a chair facing her.

"I was hoping we could spend some time together before I have to do this again," she said.

"As was I," he agreed. "We really haven't talked since that night you came to our rescue."

"Some rescue. Twenty-five dead and forty-one wounded. You were very nearly one of them. I could have prevented all of it by acting sooner. Instead, I just looked at the math. I calculated the ratio of acceptable losses versus maximum kill and acted accordingly. Those people meant no more than cannon fodder to me."

"I know," he said and offered no words of comfort. "And that kind of thinking is going to return when you go into those rifts in the morning."

"Don't remind me. But maybe it's not that big a risk. Even if I fail to download the energy I take in, once the rifts are closed off, Julian says I'll revert to my natural form."

"Over time. However long that may be."

"You're not being very comforting."

He gave her a half-smile. "You prefer bullshit, I take it?"

"Maybe a little. I might even settle for a hug, assuming you're not afraid of falling through my internal portal into another dimension."

"I think I can risk it." He moved to lay next to her and gathered her up in his arms the way she liked.

"I'm having a hard time picturing what Geordi and Julian described. Seems like I would know if something like that existed inside me."

"You think they've made a mistake?"

"Unlikely, knowing them. Julian is the best doctor I know and Geordi is a hell of an engineer. I've been thinking he'd make a great addition to our crew."

"I noticed the way he was looking at you," Picard said. "I hope you haven't been unduly influencing him."

"I guess that depends on what you mean by unduly."

Picard sighed tiredly. "You know exactly what I mean."

"Scotty said he needs another person in engineering. I can't think of anyone better suited. So if it takes a little encouragement from me, why not?"

"I don't why I'm so worried about you being guided solely by self-interest. It's such a minor adjustment."

"I hope you were smiling when you said that."

"A little," he said softly. He closed his eyes, and before long began drifting off.

"You're not actually going to sleep on me, are you?"

His eyes popped open. "Wouldn't dream of it," he said, but then yawned deeply. "Sorry. This staying up all night and trying to sleep in the day has played havoc with my circadian rhythms."

"I thought maybe you wanted to show me how much you missed me," she said.

"I'd love to," he replied, but his eyes closed again. And as she watched him and waited, he fell sound asleep.

"Wonderful," she said, thoroughly annoyed. She extricated herself from his arms, seeing if he would wake. He didn't. "Glad somebody around here can relax." That didn't wake him either. She got up, stood there and glared at him. She took a deep breath and pushed back her annoyance. He was exhausted. She should leave him alone. What he needed was sleep. Unfortunately, it wasn't what she needed. She needed distraction. She picked up her uniform, then decided it was too much trouble. She threw on a short robe instead, cinched it around her waist, and headed for the bridge.

When she entered, to her disappointment, she found only Riker. He was sitting at his control panel monitoring the Enterprise. She nodded and looked away. "I thought Data might be here," she said.

"In Engineering with Geordi and Scotty, working on those mines," Riker reminded her.

"Right." She knew that. Just showed how keyed up she was.

As she stood there, she could see the ground below through the floor viewing window, mostly empty of activity, but then something dark scurried by with some treasure it had found. She touched Ship's control panel and focused a beam of light on it. The demon thing froze and tried to hide under the animal it was carrying. She narrowed the light beam and ramped up the heat, focused it to avoid the animal and blasted the thing. The creature vanished and the animal ran to freedom, making her smile. She decided this could be quite entertaining and just the kind of distraction she needed. She spotted another one, carrying a noral. This time she had to ricochet the beam off a boulder to get the demon without injuring the noral. After about the fifth time she took one out, Riker got up from his chair and peered over her shoulder. He watched as she pinpointed another one and blasted it.

"You know, most people count sheep," he said.

"Boring," she said and got another one.

"I think that's the point. Being bored makes you go to sleep."

"Really? Then I guess Jean-Luc must have found me especially boring this evening."

He chuckled at that. "Most likely he's just sleep deprived."

"I suppose. You seem surprisingly alert."

"I've always been a night owl."

"Yeah, I remember that about you. You never seemed to mind when I showed up in the middle of the night." She glanced up at him and smiled, remembering. He looked uncomfortable, so she shrugged and turned away again. "I'm sorry I make you nervous. It's too bad we can't still be friends."

"You don't know how to be a friend."

"That's an unkind remark. And untrue. You and I used to be very close."

"That wasn't about friendship. I don't think you know the meaning of the word."

"I'll be sure to look it up when I get the chance." She zapped two more. "Meanwhile, would you like to try your hand at this?"

He hesitated a moment then said, "Sure, why not?" He sat down and took over the control panel. He zapped the beam at one of the dark shadows and missed.

"You need to compensate for the distortion…" she started to tell him, but he held up a hand in her face. "I got it, I got it. Don't help me." The next target disintegrated. "This reminds me of those old fashioned arcade games I used to play in when I was a kid."

"I bet you always won."

He zapped another one. "Mostly. But the fun is in the competition."

"Shall we make it a contest then? Whoever gets the most in three minutes wins."

"Wins what?" he asked suspiciously.

"I don't know. It's a kid's game, it ought to have a kid's prize. How about truth or dare?"

"We'll stick to truth. No dares."

"You really think you're irresistible, don't you?"

"It's not about me being irresistible - it's about you being you."

"Fine. We'll limit it to conversation only."

"In that case, prepare to lose."

She set up two heat beams. Ship volunteered to act as referee. They were soon blasting away. When Ship called time, they dropped their hands. "The winner is Riker by a count of one," Ship announced.

"You cheated. You bumped my arm," Shea accused him.

"You just don't like losing."

"True enough. So what do you want to know?"

"Remember, you have to be honest."

"Of course. Fire away."

"Why Captain Picard? You could have anyone you want. Why him?"

She smiled at the question. "That's easy. He's a wonderful man and I'm hopelessly in love with him."

"Very sweet, shallow and insincere. You promised to be honest."

"All right. Part of it is that I imprinted on him at a very young age and bonded with him in an intense unguarded way. I really didn't know any better."

"When he traveled back in time."

"Yes, that's when I first met him."

"And you had a child as a result. Seems you didn't think that through either."

"No argument there. Not that I regret it. I guess that's part of the equation as well."

"What's the other part?"

"I trust him… completely. There really isn't anyone else in my life I can say that about."

"I thought you blamed him for sending you away. How does that equate with trust?"

"I trust his judgment. He's willing to make tough choices and do what's right, which may or may not result in his protecting me or himself. I admire that. It's a quality I sometimes lack."

He looked surprised but said nothing.

"Would you answer a question for me now?" she asked.

"You lost, remember?"

"Do you want a rematch?"

"No, I guess not. What's your question."

"You seem so angry with me. Is it because I'm with Jean-Luc instead of you?"

"Go to hell," he said and looked away.

"I plan to, first thing tomorrow morning. Maybe you should wish me luck."

He didn't answer so she sighed and stood, preparing to leave. He surprised her by grabbing her arm and tugging her onto his lap.

"I'm not ready to say good-night," he said and kissed her.

She kissed him back as if they had never been apart, relishing the familiarity of his touch as his hands slid under her robe. This was what she'd been wanting, but denying herself. Hadn't she warned Deanna this would happen? Deanna was probably feeling Riker slipping even now. An image of Deanna in tears came to her. She tried to ignore it but it nagged at her until she reluctantly realized she should put a stop to this. To do that she'd have to be mean. She'd have to fulfill Will's worst expectations, and she'd have to give up this good feeling she felt in his arms now, as well as any future hope of being reunited with him. None of which appealed to her in the slightest. But the image of Deanna would not go away so she reached out to Jean-Luc in her mind, looking for the strength to do what was necessary. As she felt him with her there, her resolve hardened.

"I always knew you'd come around," she whispered huskily into Will's ear. "I told Deanna I could have you whenever I wanted. It was just a matter of time."

He stopped and pulled away. "You actually said that to her?"

"I was right, wasn't I? Come on, relax. What do you care what she thinks? It's obvious you'd rather be with me. It's not like it's going to come as a surprise."

He stood abruptly nearly depositing her on the floor. "Get away from me."

"Fine," she said haughtily, then added "Your loss!" for good measure and quickly got out of there.

If that didn't make him despise her, nothing would. And then it hit her that he must surely hate her now and that made her want to cry. Instead, she took a deep breath and told herself she'd done the right thing. Even as it was, she'd just given the two of them plenty to talk about. Anything further and she might very well have ruined their relationship forever. He didn't need her in his life, he needed Deanna. She hurried back to her own quarters, wishing she'd never left them.

Jean-Luc was wide awake, sitting up with his arms crossed. "I'm glad you didn't go any farther than you did," he said. "I was debating whether or not I needed to intervene."

"Please, don't lecture me. I feel bad enough as it is."

He smiled gently at her. "I know you do. Perhaps there's hope for you yet. You did the right thing."

"Then how come I feel so rotten? When you do a good deed, aren't you supposed to feel all warm and fuzzy inside?"

"Not always. Sometimes it just makes you sad. But if you come over here, I can work on that warm and fuzzy part. And I promise I won't fall asleep this time."

"See that you don't," she said and joined him on the bed. "I'm glad you realize that this was all your fault."

"Oh yes, of course. Isn't it always the man's fault?"

"Always."


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

"Data to Captain Picard."

Picard woke and sat up. "Yes, Data. What is your status?"

"The gravimetric mines are ready for placement. I am on the Bridge awaiting you."

"Thank you, Data. We'll be there shortly." He looked over to see Shea lying there looking at him. He put a hand on her shoulder. "You ready for this?"

"No," she replied and buried herself in the blankets. "Not that it makes any difference." She listened to him move away then to the sound of the shower running until it stopped again. "Ship, is the sun up yet?"

"Yes, Sweet Shea," Ship replied. "The sun is currently ten degrees above the horizon, with scattered clouds. The current temperature on the ground is two degrees Celsius with a northwesterly breeze of three knots. I would suggest a medium weight jacket. The high today should be approximately…"

"I didn't ask for a weather report."

"Apologies, Sweet Shea. I am nervous. Data has informed of your plans. I tend to babble when I am nervous. Would you like breakfast this morning? I am happy to prepare it for you. Perhaps tea or…?"

"Ship, stop mothering me. If I need anything, I'll let you know."

Ship apologized again profusely and finally went silent.

"It appears both Data and Ship are concerned for your welfare," Picard said, pulling on his uniform.

"Artificially intelligent life forms seem to love me," she grumbled still under the blankets.

He tugged the blanket free to see her face. "I love you too. Don't forget that."

"Never," she said automatically, but it was an empty promise. "That is, I'll try very hard not to. But I think you might have to remember for the both of us."

"Count on it," he said and kissed her one more time. "I better supervise this landing. Riker's probably beside himself worrying about the Enterprise touching down under a tractor beam. Join us when you're ready," he said and exited the room.

"When I'm ready…" she echoed the words softly after he had left. "Shea to Data."

"Yes, Shea," Data replied immediately.

"Once you've landed, come see me. We need to go over my backup plan. I have a few revisions."

"Understood."

#

The jagged edges of the rifts jutted into the sky taller and more formidable in their rugged glacier covered terrain than Picard had envisioned seeing them from above. He stood on the cold ground staring up at their torn edges, knowing that just beyond lay the deep icy crevasse that cut down through the glacier into the bedrock below and on into another reality. Geordi had told them this morning that the flames were densely pressurized plasma gases from the alternate universe's atmosphere exploding as they entered this world. "It's sort of a mirror version of the plasma we normally have in our warp core."

"Why does it burn ice cold?" Riker had asked.

"It doesn't really. It enters this world far below freezing and evaporates so quickly, it robs you of body heat," he'd explained. "These plasma flames aren't dangerous in small quantities, but complete immersion would be lethal. You'd end up asphyxiated then frozen solid."

Picard tried to imagine that other reality and what it must have been like for Shea to have even glimpsed it. It wasn't an image she had chosen to share. Someone cleared his throat next to him and he turned. "Mr. Scott?"

"I have the gravimetric mines here," Scotty said holding up a narrow metal canister on a chain strap.

"All twelve of them?"

"Aye. They may be just wee little things but they pack a mighty punch. She'll need to be well clear before they detonate."

"She's on her way. You can explain the requirements to her." Even as he said it, Shea and Data appeared walking down Ship's extended ramp. Geordi and Riker were right behind them.

Shea eyed the tube in Scotty's hands and sighed. "Tell me about your little bombs."

"The canister opens like so," he said and twisted the top until it popped open."Chances are it will be more difficult under pressure, but I'm sure you'll manage." He slid out a small spiked disc that fit easily within his palm. "Here's one of our little beauties. Just slip it into a crack within a hundred centimeters of the placement point. Make sure it's well lodged. You'll need to work quickly and get out. Since we can't send a signal, or rely on timers, we've designed the shells to slowly give way under the extreme pressure. They're in order by shell strength, so put the one on top at the lowest point and work your way up. I've also numbered them, just in case." He tilted the disc toward her so she could see the number 1 clearly marked on it. "If we calculated accurately, they should all detonate at the same time. We figure you'll have an hour to get in and out, which according to you is twice what you really need. I hope so, because I want to see you standing right here, when they go off."

"Seems you've got it all figured out," she said.

"We've done our best," Scotty said. "We've made enough of these to close these rifts and two more for the portals inside the temples at Betu Ganstin and Trinora. We don't have enough material left to do them all again, so this a onetime try."

"What happens if I get caught in the explosion?"

Scotty shared a concerned frown with Geordi before answering. "Well now, Lassie, that's the question we're not really sure how to answer. With your dense molecular structure after transforming, the damage might be minimal, or perhaps none at all. On the other hand, there is the chance that the gravimetric waves could close that portal inside of you. And if that happens, you might not be able to change back. It's just a theory, mind you, but I'd rather you didn't put it to the test." He slipped the disc back into its protective casing, closed the lid and handed it to her. "We'll be keeping an eye on you as you go, but there won't be much we can do to help if you get into trouble. Once transformed, your dense molecular structure along with the amount of energy you retain is simply too volatile for our transporters to handle. Transporting that single mining tool was risky enough."

She took the canister without comment and slipped the chain over her head and arm leaving her hands free for climbing.

"I'm sure you'll be fine. You always are." Scotty gave her a hug, then walked back up Ship's ramp.

"The Enterprise will remain on the ground for your return, and I'll take Ship out of reach as agreed," Picard reconfirmed with her. "The fewer options you have the better."

"Right," she said. "Also, Data needs to wait for me on the Enterprise. He's my backup plan, if anything goes amiss."

"Backup plan? Wait! What does that mean?" Picard asked. "What backup plan?"

"Just a safety precaution," she interjected in the middle of his questioning, offering a reassuring smile that didn't reassure him in the slightest. "Nothing to worry about. I'll be back soon." She kissed him on the cheek and took off even as he was protesting.

As he watched her go, he turned back to Data and repeated the question even more emphatically. "What backup plan?"

"My apologies, Captain," Data replied, "but I am precluded from discussing it. I suggest you depart with Ship before Shea transforms. We don't want to give her any reason to return prematurely."

"I want to know what that plan is," Picard insisted.

"I sympathize. If I were in your position, I too would want to know. However, as I have previously stated, I am precluded from discussing it."

Picard cursed under his breath in frustration. He glanced back at the Shea and saw she was already three quarters up the side of the white rifts. He had to get Ship out of here. "I hope you know what you're doing, Data."

"I have little choice in the matter," Data replied. "I will do as she requests."

Picard shook his head and jogged up Ship's ramp, ordering it closed as he went. Within seconds, Ship lifted off.

"You coming?" Deanna called out from the ramp extending from the Enterprise. "Or are all of you going to just stand there with your mouths open until she returns?"

Riker well recognized that annoyed tone in her voice. He had some explaining to do. "On our way," he answered.

There was an uncomfortable silence between them as they made their way to the bridge. Riker looked around at the control panels, all off line. He noted the overhead lighting was dim but the air smelled good and the temperature felt comfortable… life support was functional as he'd been told. But nothing else. Deanna took her seat next to the Captain's chair. Geordi sat beside Data at the dead helm control.

"So now I guess we just wait," Geordi commented with a sigh, and began drumming his fingers.

Riker tapped the communication badge given to him on board Ship. "Captain Riker to Captain Picard. We are in position."

"Understood. We're monitoring her progress here and will keep you updated. She has yet to place the first mine."

"Has she transformed?" Riker asked.

"Affirmative. She is about half-way, well into the flames."

Shea moved down through the green flame filled crevasse, digging her claws into the ice as she went. She knew she was making good time. Under the influence of the flames she had hardened into the dense dark material of the other world, ending her worries along with the discomfort she had felt sliding along the ice. She was now able to move faster than before. Without distracting thoughts, she felt powerful and free and completely focused upon her task. She jumped from one tiny outcropping to another, using her claws to direct her ever longer falls from one to the next. She slid past the ice into bedrock, and her claws held steady, slicing through it. The flames grew denser. She saw their source now, the rupture which appeared like a long rippling wave below her. Here the pressure would increase exponentially as she made her way into it. This is where she had to place the mines at their target points.

She launched herself through the wave swimming through, pulling herself down to the lowest designated point. The canister looked slightly deformed now as she prepared to open it. When the cap refused to dislodge as she'd been shown, she ripped the metal apart. She gently removed the first mine, being careful not to crush it prematurely. She had to dig into the side walls of the rock to create a secure spot so it would not float away in the rippling current. She tested its snugness to make sure it was stuck there, then moved to the next location slightly upward and to the right. She found herself zigzagging along the rocky surface as she placed each of the mines. On the twelfth, she was at the uppermost edge of the rupture. Having to dig an exact sized crevice for each mine had taken more time than she had anticipated, but she knew she still had an adequate safety margin to clear the crevasse.

She started upwards, then stopped, sensing something was wrong. From her side vision she spotted something tumbling in the current. She caught it and saw that it was mine number 1. It had come loose. She would have to go back to the very bottom and replace it if this were to be successful. She did a quick analysis of cost versus gain. The cost might be loss of the ability to return to her former biological state… a minor concern to her. The gain was to close the rifts, thus winning Q's favor so that he would return her to normal space. Much to gain, little to lose. She spun around and swam back to the original target point. This time she dug the crevice twice as deep and packed the mine inside. It would not come out again. As she moved upward she checked each of the mines making sure they remained in place. Confident now, she exited the rippling rupture and for purposes of expediency scrambled up the bedrock as fast as she could to put as much distance between herself and the impending explosions as possible.

"She's not going to make it," Scotty announced to those listening on both ships. "If she hadn't turned back when she did, she would have had time, but now… She's just too far down."

"The mines will detonate in approximately three minutes, forty-two seconds," Data stated in reply from the Enterprise bridge. "Mr. Scott is correct. At her current rate of speed, she will not escape the crevasse before detonation. She will be approximately fifteen meters below the surface and exposed to the graviton emissions."

When the mines detonated, those on the Enterprise felt the tremor. Picard and Scotty saw it on the main viewer, as the glacier buckled and sank filling in the crevasse until only a dark narrow line remained where it had once existed.

"Where is she?" Picard asked softly, fearing the answer.

"Data was right. She's buried fifteen meters below the surface."

"If we can't transport her out, we'll have to dig her out. Can we safely blast some of the surface away?"

"I'm working on it," Scotty said as he reconfigured Ship's phasers, then he paused. "Then again, maybe we better not," he said. "My sensors show she's still making progress toward the surface. She seems to be digging out on her own. In fact, she's hardly slowed down."

Picard increased the magnification on the viewer. Moments later, dirt and ice went flying into the air and Shea emerged, fully blackened once more. She shook off the dirt and headed straight for the remaining starship on the ground.

"Here she comes, Enterprise," Scotty warned them. "And it looks like she means business."

"Remember everyone," Picard told them once more, "Do not challenge her or impede her in any way. And I'm speaking to you especially, Will."

"I understand," Riker replied, not liking it at all. "We have cleared all personnel from Engineering and connecting corridors. She shouldn't cross paths with anyone."

"She's entering your ship now," Scotty reported as he monitored her progress up the open ramp and into the interior. "Going to straight to Engineering. Aye, that's it, Lassie. You just go unload all that nice plasma into that warp core, like a good girl."

"She cannot hear you, Scotty," Data informed him. "She is not wearing a communication badge."

Scotty smiled and shook his head. "Thank you, Data. I'll keep that in mind." He watched his sensors, then a big smile crossed his face. "That's it! You should be seeing something on your monitors over there."

"I have power in the reactors," Geordi announced at the Engineering station.

"She's heading for the fusion reactors for impulse control now," Scotty told them.

Data adjusted his monitors, and began running diagnostics. "Helm control is coming on line."

"Computer," Riker called out. "Status report."

"Acknowledged," came the emotionless female voice. "Computer controls online and fully operative."

"I believe the only power not immediately available now is battery backup for the life support systems," Data informed him. "The batteries should recover full power in approximately twelve hours."

Riker smiled, hearing the low hum of a fully powered starship. "That my friends is a beautiful sound."

Geordi grinned back. "Yes, it is."

Riker's smile faded a bit. "Computer, locate Shea."

"The individual you have identified is not on board."

Suddenly, the ship alarms activated. "Intruder alert." the Computer announced. "Unidentified alien life form detected in turbo lift three."

Data adjusted his monitors. "The alien life form is Shea in her transformed state. She has not reverted to her previous human biology."

"Computer, shut down that turbolift now!" Riker ordered.

"Turbolift three deactivated." the Computer replied.

"That may not be wise," Data cautioned him.

"Turbolift three controls have been overridden," the Computer reported.

The door to the turbolift opened and Shea stepped out. Inside the turbolift, the control panel sparked and snapped. She walked over and stood in front of Riker in his Captain's chair. "Move," she told him. When he hesitated, green sparks snapped in her fingers. He got up and stepped aside. She sat in his seat.

"Computer, retract ramp and prepare for departure," she ordered.

"Unable to comply, " the Computer responded. "You are not authorized to command this vessel."

Shea turned her icy stare on Riker again. "Turn over command to me, now."

"Not happening," he replied.

She reached over and grabbed Deanna, setting her on her lap in one swift move, and put a hand to her throat. "How about now?" she asked.

"You won't hurt her," Riker insisted.

Shea squeezed making Deanna's eyes widen in silent alarm. Deanna pounded on her arm.

"All right. Stop!" Riker told her, but she kept it up. "Computer, turn over command to alien intruder. Authorization Riker, code Alpha Tango 224983."

"Command authorization transfer acknowledged," the Computer responded.

Shea set Deanna back in her chair and let go. Deanna choked and coughed and gasped for air.

"Computer, retract ramp and prepare for departure," Shea ordered again.

"Acknowledged."

"Data, set course for Betu Ganstin. Quarter impulse."

He turned to helm control and set the coordinates. "Course laid in. Quarter impulse."

Shea looked at Riker, who was checking on Deanna, and pointed at the seat designated for the ship's first officer. "Sit."

He gritted his teeth and did as he was told. The crew on the bridge remained tensely silent as the Enterprise departed and moved south.

"We are being hailed," Data announced. "Shall I open a channel?"

"Negative. Send the following message: 'We are enroute to Betu Ganstin. Follow us.' End communication."

"Message sent. Receipt acknowledged. However, they are continuing to hail us."

"Ignore it."

For the next fifteen minutes, no one said a word nor moved more than absolutely necessary in order to breathe.

"We have reached our destination," Data stated.

"Full stop. Lower us within ramp distance and extend. Tell Ship to do the same."

Data's fingers flew across the panel again. "Ramp extended. Message sent and acknowledged."

Shea stood. "Computer, take transporters off line. No one is permitted transport usage without my express authorization." She looked at Geordi. "You have the bridge, Mr. La Forge." She turned and pointed at Data, Riker and Troi, "You, you and you… with me."

The three of them followed her into the turbolift and she took them down to the bottom level of the ship, to the airlock and out to the ramp. People had gathered around staring in wonder at the great floating ship. As Shea appeared, many dropped to their knees. She did not acknowledge them. Instead, she focused on a lone figure coming down the ramp of Ship nearby.

"Data, go retrieve one of the gravimetric mines and bring it to me at the temple." He nodded and strode off toward Ship. Shea turned away and walked down the ramp. When Riker and Troi hesitated, Shea reminded them, "Remain with me." She headed down the stone street toward the temple and they hurried after her.

"Why does she want us along?" Deanna whispered to Will as they followed Shea. She was sure they could not be overheard over the murmuring crowd and the many voices calling to their goddess.

"Probably because four senior officers combined can overturn command authorization without her approval," Riker whispered back. "Then I'd take the Enterprise out of her reach."

"Not happening," Shea said, glancing back at them. Her voice carried over the noise as if on a loudspeaker. "Ever. I suggest you accept the new status quo. And stop lagging behind unless you want someone here to get hurt."


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

When Shea reached the temple, she didn't pause to knock for entry. She simply tore the heavy wooden doors from their hinges as if they were made of paper and tossed them aside. She entered and looked around, noting the two Guardians running toward her and throwing themselves at her feet. She looked away at the large stone cat statue and the lid in the floor before it, closing off the flames from below. A distortion in the air caught her attention and she turned to see a human figure materializing, one she knew very well. She plucked the communicator badge from his chest before he could react.

"Shea to Ship. Emergency voice recognition command override," she said in her normal human voice.

"Voice recognition acknowledged and confirmed. You have command," Ship replied. "I am relieved to hear from you, Sweet Shea. Is everything all right?"

"Yes, Ship. Everything is fine. I need you to deactivate your transporters until further notice from me."

"Of course. Is there anything else I can do to assist?"

"Not right now, but I'll let you know." She looked at Picard, who stared back with a grim expression. She handed him back his communication badge. "You may retain this if you wish."

"What are doing?" he asked as he reclaimed the badge.

"Making repairs," she said. She turned to the two prone Guardians and spoke to them in their native speech. As the Guardians scrambled to their feet and ran out the door, Shea turned her back and walked toward the statue.

"What did she say to them?" Riker asked Picard.

"She told them to find a new religion, and if they ever spoke her name again, she'd rip out their tongues."

Shea reached up and pushed the statue over. It crashed to the ground, breaking in two. She lifted the metal lid from the floor allowing the green flames to shoot up. She stepped into the fire, closed her eyes, and waited.

"She's absorbing more energy," Picard noted.

"We're in a hell of a lot of trouble here," Riker said. "She's stolen command of both of our ships."

"She probably thinks she's entitled to them. After all, they were both hers at one time."

"You're defending this?"

"Explaining it."

"I don't need to understand her motives. I need to know how to stop her."

"We have to take this one step at a time and proceed with extreme caution. Fortunately, she hasn't hurt anyone as yet."

"I guess you didn't hear that she nearly strangled Deanna. That's why I had to turn over command."

Picard looked at Deanna who put a hand to her neck. "I'm sorry. But I did warn you both not to impede her in any way."

"I'm not just going roll over and play dead. I will use any and all means available to regain control of the Enterprise."

Picard nodded, "I understand. I would do the same in your position. And I will help you if I can. I'm just saying we have to be smart about this. We are all in a very precarious situation."

Data ducked through the mangled wood doors and entered. He nodded in acknowledgment to them as he walked by.

"Pardon me, Shea. I have brought the gravimetric mine as you requested."

She opened her eyes and took it from his extended palm. "Is there an exact placement point required?"

"There is no such requirement. This portal is small enough that anywhere in the vicinity will be sufficient."

"Good." She dropped the mine down into the opening beneath her feet. "Evacuate the building."

"Understood." Data turned to the others. "We need to exit immediately." He spread his arms to guide them out. Behind him, Shea grabbed a pillar and pulled it from its foundation. The ceiling cracked and began to give way as she approached another one. Picard and the others ran from the temple just as the ground shook from the mine detonating and what was left of the temple crashed and broke behind them. When they turned back to the wreckage, Shea's dark form was walking toward them unscathed.

"One down, one to go," she said to them as she passed by. Picard decided to walk beside her and risk speaking with her.

"I can't help notice that there is a marked change in your behavior from the first time you transformed." She didn't tell him to shut up or go away, so he continued. "You're talking to us. Seeing us. Before it almost seemed as if we were invisible or forgotten entirely."

"I see everything and forget nothing," she said. "Talking to you served no purpose at that time."

Her answer sounded dismissive, but Picard felt encouraged instead. She had freely offered him an explanation. "I take it that you plan to destroy the temple in Trinora as well."

"Yes. To please Q, then he will allow me to leave this world."

"Why do you need two ships under your command to destroy the temple?"

"I don't need any for that. I need a starship once Q allows me to leave."

"But you only need one starship. Would you consider returning command of the Enterprise to Captain Riker?"

She looked at him sideways. "Interesting… the way you try to influence me, manipulate me, manage me. I wonder why I ever thought that was a good idea." She held up a finger snapping with energy and pointed it at his chest. "Go walk with the others behind me."

Picard slowed and fell into step behind her with Riker, who had been listening to the exchange. He gave Picard a nod then said in a loud voice, "So much for keeping her under control. Q will be very disappointed in you."

Shea stopped and turned back. "What did you say?"

"I said Q will be disappointed," Riker repeated.

"Why do you think this?"

"Because he specifically told Captain Picard to keep you under control and you're not listening to him."

She looked from Riker to Picard. "Walk with me. I will listen."

As they made their way back through the city, Picard continued to counsel her and reason with her, focusing on logic much the way he would if he were debating with Data without his emotion chip activated, or with a dispassionate Vulcan. He was careful to be diplomatic and respectful, but he did not back down from clearly communicating his opinion. When they stood below the ships again, he waited to see what she was going to do.

"I will take your counsel under advisement," she said to him. "Return to Ship and proceed to Trinora. When you disembark, bring the remaining gravimetric mine." She dismissed him and approached Data, with whom she spoke low, out of Picard's hearing range.

Picard scowled and sighed, frustrated that his words seemed to have had so little effect. She would not relinquish control of the Enterprise, at least not yet. He headed for Ship and a moment later, discovered Data walking beside him.

"I am to accompany you," Data informed him.

"Are you supervising me on her behalf?" Picard asked.

"Negative. My assignment does not concern you."

"Has it anything to do with this mysterious backup plan of hers?"

"I am uncertain. There is a common element, but it does not seem applicable under the present circumstance. I am hopeful her purpose will be revealed over time."

"Could you possibly be more explicit?"

"I do not believe so," Data replied and said nothing further.

When the two ships hovered over Trinora once more and extended their ramps in the late afternoon, Norath stood waiting with his soldiers who were keeping back a large gathering of citizens eager to greet their deliverers. Shea appeared from the Enterprise, and stared down at them in her dark transformed state. Seeing her thus, Norath immediately waved to push the people back further, clearing a wide path. As she approached, he too stepped back and lowered his eyes respectfully. He saw that she was accompanied by Riker and Troi. From the smaller ship, Captain Picard rushed down the ramp to join them.

"The rifts to the north have been closed," Shea informed Norath. "There should be no more demon attacks from this day forward. You will see the proof at nightfall. We will go to the temple now to close the final portal."

No gauntlet of soldiers waited by the temple fires this time, but the coals burned hot as always and reddened blades stood at the ready. Shea noted Riker staring at the blazing swords. "You are wondering if one of those could cut me down." She walked onto the coals and picked up a sword from the metal cages. The red blade paled then iced over in her grip. She tightened the pressure and it shattered like glass. "The answer would be no."

She turned to Picard. "Give me the mine." He handed it over, expecting her to drop it into the flames and walk away as she had before. Instead she studied it carefully, then swallowed it whole. He gasped in alarm. "What are you doing?"

"Testing a theory," she replied and reached for the grate that had allowed them all to pass over the flames uninjured. With one tug, she freed it from the stone floor and flung it aside. "Back away," she said and jumped into the fires disappearing from view.

They looked at each other for a split second then made a hasty retreat for the outer door. Before they made it, the mine detonated and floor buckled beneath their feet sending them sprawling. Picard turned back to see the broken ground and nothing else. He went back to look down into the deep crevice in the floor where the flames had been. He saw nothing but scorched earth. Riker picked himself up and helped Deanna to her feet.

"Any sign of her?" he asked.

Picard shook his head. "What the hell could she have been thinking?"

"Maybe that she didn't want to live like that," Deanna suggested.

"No. She's not dead. I'd feel it immediately if she were," Picard replied. He tapped his comm badge. "Picard to Mr. Scott."

"Scotty here. What's going on down there, Captain? I'm getting all kinds of strange readings, matter phasing in and out. I thought you were closing that portal not making it bigger."

"She swallowed that mine of yours and jumped into the flames. I need you to locate her."

"Swallowed it? That was a damned fool thing to do. She's mutilated herself for sure."

"Not mutilated, Scotty. Mutated," Shea said. She was standing behind them, still dark, but her entire body rippled as if it weren't quite solid. "One of the problems of this form was not being able to transport. I have become interphasic, thereby solving that issue. And now that the temples have been destroyed and the rifts closed, I believe Q will make an appearance."

"Right you are," Q replied, clapping his hands. "Nicely done."

"Are you satisfied now?" Shea inquired of Q. "If so, return us to normal space."

"Not so fast. We want to see if you can get control over this newly acquired skill of yours. You appear to be quite unstable. Can you solidify?" When she merely scowled uncertainly and her body continued to ripple, Q shook his head. "Concentrate!"

She closed her eyes and in a moment, her pitch black body hardened until it was solid and distinct once more. She opened her eyes. "Satisfactory?"

"It's a start," Q replied. "This form you're in now is from an alternate universe, inappropriate to the one you now occupy. You cannot efficiently interact with beings of any world if you cannot adapt at will. You're not…, how do humans say it, …user friendly. Can you can return to your previous biological form, or are you stuck?"

She stared at her hands until they gradually changed in color and texture, returning to a golden hue. "Good," Q nodded, "Keep going." When she stopped, she was fully back to her former self. She shook all over and took a deep breath as Picard's mind rejoined hers. She looked at Picard and he nodded back with a smile.

"Okay. I've done everything you've asked. Can we all go home now?"

"And what about all that energy you absorbed?" Q inquired. "Show it to me."

"But I'm human again," she protested.

"It's still there. Show it to me."

"I don't feel it. I can't do what you're asking."

"That would be very disappointing. But perhaps you're just lacking the proper motivation. As you know, the Continuum is united at this moment, denying D access to you. It's taking everything we've got to do it. He's been trying hard to get through and very nearly slipped the Tommyknockers past us twice. A mere moment of inattention from us, and they will be here."

She felt Picard's alarm reflecting in her own. He too knew what it felt like to be attacked by D's servants.

"So are you protecting me or threatening me?" she asked.

"Both," Q replied.

"Why? Why do either? What is it you want?"

"I'm not here to answer your questions. You're here to answer mine. Oops…looks like someone lost focus. Here they come, my dear."

Then she saw him, D's servant, Tommy, standing in the middle of the broken flooring, looking like a pale sweet faced angel, with his long white hair and colorless eyes. She froze in place, waiting to see his intentions. He could actually be pleasant to her when he wanted to be. Then he smiled evilly and split into six identical beings, and she knew there would be nothing pleasant about this.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Picard tried to contact Ship, but found his communicator badge unresponsive. Q waved a finger at him. "Uh, uh uh… no interference."

The six Tommy's spread out, circling Shea. She knew from experience there was no point in running. It would only add to their excitement in taking her down. She wondered if they could hurt her if she were still demon and concentrated on transforming back to that dense molecular structure. Her hands blackened and immediately, those sweet angel faces split into huge shark toothed mouths and they rushed at her. She reacted instinctively and green energy shot out at them from her hands, knocking them back. She regarded the result with surprise and not a little elation. She tested it again, sending another bolt at one of them. He skidded backwards across the floor. The main Tommy in the center, snarled and rushed at her again. She sent him flying back with another bolt. She focused on one of the others, mentally lassoed him, picked him up into the air and slammed him back into the central Tommy. She did the same with each of the remaining until only the original was left. She shot more searing energy at him, pinning him to the floor as he writhed and screamed and cursed at her. She stood over him, blasting him continuously until he could no longer move. He lay there whimpering beneath her assault. "You belong to me now," she said without letting up. "Submit."

He finally nodded in defeat and she stopped. He gradually recovered and looked angelic again as he focused on her. "I was trying to save you. You shouldn't have changed yet. You're not ready."

"You don't seriously think she's going to believe you were trying to help her," Q told him.

"The same holds true for you," Tommy replied, and got to his feet. He bowed his head to Shea. "I am your servant."

She looked from Q to Tommy, then back to her dark sparking fingers until they quieted and returned to a golden hue.

She moved next to Picard. "What do you think is going on here?" she asked him quietly.

"A power struggle. With you caught in the middle," he answered.

She nodded in agreement. "As soon as I saw that painting of me transformed, I thought it might be more than a simple case of putting things right."

She turned back to Q. "You don't really care about the people on this planet, do you? That was just a ploy to expose me to an energy source that would activate this portal inside me?"

"Raw talent such as yours shouldn't be neglected. You need development and guidance."

"From the Q Continuum, I take it," Picard said.

"Yes, especially since she also needs our protection."

"And what do you want from her in return?"

"Nothing really. A little gratitude perhaps. That's all."

Picard laughed at that. "What you really mean but won't say straight out, is that you want her to align with you in opposition to D."

"Well, it would be in her own best interest. Don't you agree?"

Picard hesitated to respond, uncertain if he agreed or not. Q's motives were always suspect, but if there were a way to protect Shea from D's unwanted attentions, wouldn't that be worth any price? He felt her looking to him for guidance, for some insight on the best response. But they hadn't heard both sides, yet. D's servant was now hers. Picard nudged her mentally in that direction.

Shea looked at Tommy. "If you truly serve me now, then answer honestly. What was your purpose here?"

"I was to challenge you, to test your control over this energy source," he replied. "He knows what you can do now. He will come."

"The Q are keeping him out," Picard said.

"They cannot guard every path. He got me through."

"We let you through," Q told him.

Tommy smiled nastily. "He let you think you did."

The broken stone flooring shook beneath them, rattling the swords in their fiery coaled cages. The crevice in the floor that had been dark suddenly lit again with green flames and a gigantic black clawed hand grabbed the edge. Another joined it on the far side of the opening, and an equally gigantic horned head rose up glaring at them with eyes redder than the coals.

"Oh, bother!" Q said, clearly annoyed.

"Told you," Tommy giggled.

The red-eyed monster pulled itself free of the crevice and stood, filling all the available space in the temple, and focused downward on the group before it. As Picard stared back, he couldn't help but recognize this being as the very embodiment of Faust's darkest fantasies. Then unexpectedly, the great beast shrank to the size of a man and transformed into a handsome well-dressed sandy haired gentleman with ice blue eyes. D was back as Derek, once again. Derek walked toward them, smoothing his silk jacket, and adjusting his cuffs as he came. "Well, well, well….you've all been quite busy, haven't you?"

"Who invited you to the party?" Q snapped at him. Behind Q glowing beings appeared, more numerous than could be counted by a human eye.

"You forget, it was my party first," Derek smiled and looked at the energy beings behind Q that comprised the Continuum. "Hello, children. Delighted to see you as always, but it seems you've all been very ill behaved."

"The Continuum are not your children. That is a human concept. We are your heirs," Q replied.

"Ah, Q, the Continuum's poor attempt at creating a human mouthpiece. You never could quite get the hang of it. Your efforts to befriend poor Captain Picard here are laughable."

"I disagree," Q replied. "I think I've done quite well."

Derek shook his head knowingly, "You don't understand the first thing about being human. You haven't lived it the way I have. Evolved with them the way I have."

"And it's made you weak and needful. We've just been waiting for you to make a mistake and you finally did. You gave up a part of yourself to create a counterpart, a mate. You've created your own vulnerability."

"And you think by recruiting her to your cause, the Continuum will have the strength to overpower me."

"We very nearly do already. She's the tipping point. A tiny piece of you, on our side. It's over D."

"Only if you can convince her of your right to ascend. That's a very big if." Derek turned his attention to Shea.

Picard felt her trembling under Derek's stare and saw that she could not meet his gaze.

"You stole my Tommy's," Derek said to her. "Release them back to me."

To Picard's surprise, she shook her head. "No, they're mine."

Derek scowled and lifted a hand toward her, but then paused as if reconsidering. "No matter. Keep them for now if it amuses you. We have more important issues at hand. You're being groomed and recruited by the Continuum, but as usual Q isn't giving you the full picture. The Braxians call him the God of Lies for good reason. "

"And you don't lie?" Picard asked.

Derek smiled at him. "Are you sure you want to insert yourself into this dispute, Captain? I'd think very carefully about that, if I were you."

Shea stepped away from Picard. "He's not part of this. This is between you and me."

"I am part of this," Picard insisted. "Whether or not you choose to take my views into consideration."

"Don't put yourself at risk, Jean-Luc," Shea told him.

"If you are at risk, so am I."

"True," Derek agreed. "You did choose to bond with him."

"So what is Q lying about?" Picard asked.

"About protecting her. Shea is a part of me, a liability for them in the long run. You can be certain that she would be next to go."

"Still might be worth it. To be free of you," Shea said.

"You think I'm so terrible then? Worse than they? How naïve. I'm all that stands between this universe as it is now, and the one they would create in their own image."

Picard turned to Q. "How do you envision this universe if D were no longer a factor?"

"A better one, certainly. A peaceful one. A united one," Q stated sanctimoniously. "Hasn't that always been the goal of the Federation?"

"Oh yes. Sounds lovely, doesn't it?" Derek said, with heavy sarcasm. "And all that that's needed to accomplish that goal is to eliminate the extreme emotions of the intelligent races that inhabit this universe. No more hate, no more love, no fear, no hope, no despair, no joy. A universe without passion, desire, or longing. No one's heart would ever break, because one would ever care enough to. Everyone would feel just like Shea did when transformed, which is very nearly nothing at all - just like the Q."

"Lies!" Q proclaimed. "Half-truths and misinformation. We only seek to promote the welfare of this universe and its inhabitants, not to scrub them clean of emotion. We Q are sensitive caretakers, the morally superior intelligence in this universe. If anyone is unfeeling and cold-hearted, it is D."

"I did think her being like that made her more similar to you," Picard said, addressing Derek.

"On the contrary, I feed on emotion, I live for it. If anything, I feel too much. I am the embodiment of passion and desire and longing. If not, Shea would not even exist, as she well knows."

"I'm not sure what I know," she interjected."My memories involving you are in bits and pieces, scrambled beyond recognition. I don't remember much of anything that makes sense. You make sure I don't."

"Do I? Or do you do it to yourself? You could remember if you really wanted to. All you have to do is tear down the walls, and let your memory return."

"I can't. It hurts to even try."

"Pain is a beautiful thing. There is no pleasure without it."

"Just another sick rationalization for the misery you cause."

"I don't cause misery. It exists as a basic element of the human condition. I merely observe it, manage it, re-route it where it best serves."

"Where it best serves you," Picard accused.

"What serves me serves humanity. We are intertwined. Why else would the Q take any interest in you?"

"Q told me it's because the human race has the potential to evolve and become like the Q someday."

"I hope you felt insulted. Becoming a Q is hardly a worthy goal. If it were, I would have stepped aside long ago. I would gladly bow to a superior mind and permit my essence to be absorbed into that consciousness the way it has happened with each succeeding one of my kind before time began. The Continuum are not superior to me in any respect. They are like those biological descendants of Shea's on this miserable little planet. The original memories passed down with each succeeding generation, but the blood thinned so that the memories became useless and disabling. Naroth recalls a past he never experienced, but it haunts him like a specter. And so it would be if the Q replace me. They cannot understand what I have experienced. They cannot utilize my knowledge. I would be a ghost in their collective conscious, mysterious and incomprehensible."

"Whatever we cannot use is best dispensed with. Nothing of value would be lost," Q insisted.

"I disagree," Derek replied. "How can you judge the value of something that you cannot comprehend?"

"Are there elements of the Q which are equally incomprehensible to you?" Picard asked.

"Of course," Q replied for him. "Though I doubt that D will admit it."

"Remember, Q. I spawned you," Derek said.

"And we have since evolved on our own path. Our knowledge exceeds yours."

"Such hubris. You are undisciplined meddling hoodlums with no regard for the damage you leave in the wake of your interference. I'm constantly cleaning up after you."

"You mean you are constantly trying to undermine us," Q countered.

"We seemed to have reached an impasse," Picard interrupted. "The arguments on both sides appear equal in merit. Or lack of it. I don't think either of you are being fully forthcoming."

"Are you setting yourself up as our arbitrator, Captain?" Derek asked with a bemused smile.

"I do have quite a bit of experience in such matters," Picard replied.

"So you do. And Shea relies heavily on your opinions. No doubt she would accept your recommendation. What do you think, Q? You've sat in judgment of humanity on more than one occasion. Are you willing to have the tables turned? Would you abide by the Captain's decision in this matter?"

"Would you? I have an established friendship with the Captain, whereas you have not."

"No, unlike you, I will not pretend to befriend him. However, I do not think he is so naive as to let your so-called friendship influence him. So the answer is yes. I agree to his acting as our arbitrator."

"Very well then," Q replied. "Let us present our cases."

With a snap of Q's finger, Picard found himself wearing a black robe, and seated behind a large wooden desk on a raised platform. Flags of the Federation and Shea's snake-headed Jolly Roger stood on either side of him. Positioned to his right was a smaller table marked Court Reporter where he saw Data now sitting. Two tables then appeared before him. Q sat at the one with a sign that said Plaintiff, and D, still in the form of Derek, sat at the other designated for the Defendant. The room seemed to elongate before Picard's eyes to reveal row upon row of audience members. On one side, appeared the glowing almost formless beings he knew to be members of the Continuum. On the other, sat Shea and the senior officers from Ship and the Enterprise, backed by what looked to be the entire crews of both. For a brief moment there was a shocked silence, then the room buzzed with alarmed human voices.

Q and Derek sat waiting, ignoring the audience noise, their focus resting solely on him. Picard took a deep breath. Obviously, he was in charge… for now. He picked up the gavel in front of him and brought it down onto the desktop with a resounding bang. The buzzing voices came to a stop.

"I have been selected to act as arbitrator in the matter of Q versus D. My judgment shall be binding on all parties. If there is any objection to that, let it be known now." Neither D nor Q flinched or spoke up, so Picard continued. "Very well, it is so agreed. Data, as our designated court reporter, you will record these proceedings verbatim."

Data nodded. "Understood."


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Picard paused a moment to share eye contact with Shea, who simply shook her head at him, clearly not pleased with this development. There was no helping it now. He had jumped in with both feet. He decided if he had any hope of being respected as the decision maker here, assumption of complete judicial authority combined with strict formality would be the best way to keep order and make it clear that his ruling would be impartial.

"Will the Plaintiff please state the nature of his complaint," Picard requested.

"Gladly," Q replied and stood. "It is the contention of the Continuum, for whom I stand in representation, that the Defendant has most willfully, egregiously and fundamentally breached his implied-in-fact contract with the Plaintiffs to pass on his knowledge and spiritual essence to them as his rightful heirs. We seek an injunction for specific performance, under which the shard of said Defendant's essence contained in his creation otherwise known as Shea shall be ordered to join with the Plaintiffs to enforce said contract. Thank you." Q finished and sat down.

"May I respond?" Derek asked.

"You may," Picard replied.

Derek stood. "Specific performance of the alleged contract is unwarranted for the following reasons. Enforcement would cause severe hardship to me, the Defendant; the contract is unconscionable; Plaintiffs have unclean hands; performance consists of a personal service; mutuality was lacking in the initial agreement; and last but not least, the contract contains no consideration."

"Unclean hands?" Q echoed angrily. "If anyone has behaved unethically in this matter, it's you."

Picard banged his gavel. "All right, you two. I get the gist of your positions. Let's dispense with the legal speak. Q, if you would, tell me as directly and clearly as possible why you contend that the Continuum is entitled to this so called inheritance."

Q bowed slightly, "As you wish. As clearly and directly as possible, in terms which you can understand, D and the Q Continuum are related, with D being the predecessor of the Q. To put this in perspective, you must understand that our species predates the existence of time and space and were born in the Chaos, a reality whose remnants you were briefly introduced to courtesy of the Defendant."

Picard grimaced and nodded. "Yes. A most unpleasant experience."

"Did you know that the Medusans also come from that reality?"

"I did not. But it does explain why looking upon them results in insanity."

"I hope it also provides you with some clue as to how fundamentally distorted and dangerous D is, being a child of Chaos. The Q, however, are children of this universe. We came into existence simultaneously with the beginning of time and space, when D was expelled from his reality into this one and we were born from him."

"That's misleading," Derek objected.

"You'll get your turn, D. Q has the floor," Picard told him firmly.

"As I was saying…' Q continued. "D is one in a long line of our kind, each of whom replaced the previous ancestor upon birth by absorbing that ancestor's essence into himself. There had never existed more than one of our species. All experience, learning and knowledge were combined into a single awareness in an unbroken line of inheritance. This is the contract of which I speak. The contract that D has broken." Q sat down.

"Very well," Picard nodded. "Your response, D?"

"The manner in which our kind reproduce was made null and void by the violent creation of time and space, of which the Q were merely an unintended, unhappy side effect," Derek countered. "I had no choice in the matter. Therefore, there is no contract."

"I see," Picard paused to consider what sounded like an equally valid point. "Do you wish to reply, Q?"

"The contract exists in the agreement of our actions with the cosmic order; and in accord with the laws of evolution of our kind," Q stated. "D is in violation of our natural evolutionary process. He is denying us our heritage."

"For good reason," Derek replied. "You're simply unworthy of it."

"Then you acknowledge that this heritage would otherwise be theirs?" Picard asked.

"If they weren't divided amongst themselves, perhaps," Derek said. "But the fact is, they are not a united mind. They are splintered, fractionalized, scattered. How could I possibly entrust the depths of my being to them? The unbroken line of our kind ended with the birth of time and space. The Q are of me, but they are not like me. I have existed before time, I have the knowledge and understanding of all that came before and during… I could not, cannot and will not allow that to be lost to them. And so I continue and endure, adapt and evolve on my own, all in accordance with this new cosmic order."

"Your time has passed, D," Q told him. "You are antiquated, irrelevant… leftover from a reality that was long ago superseded by this one. Give up this unholy grasp on your outmoded existence and let it flow into the Continuum where it belongs."

"Unholy?" Derek laughed at the word. "Shall we now debate philosophical and moral considerations, the merits of good versus evil?"

"I have no qualms. There is little question as to which side of the equation you would fall upon."

"You make my argument for me, Q. There is no equation, no division between one and the other, only a matter of perspective. Life destroys other life in order to preserve its own. What is positive and life-sustaining to the one is negative and destructive to the other. Within every reinforcement lies negation. The cosmic order has no consideration for sentiment, be it pleasure or pain."

"Agreed, " Q said. "All things are interrelated. The whole of existence affects the smallest of its parts. We recognize this fully. But there are ways to promote the positive and minimize that which is counterproductive. Something you often seem to forget."

"I forget nothing, Q, including how your pride obstructs your long range vision. You are so full of yourselves, thinking you know what is best for sentient races, meddling in things of which you have no comprehension. So many times I have had to intervene to prevent some future distortion of the natural processes of evolution."

"Name one," Q challenged him.

"I need look no further than the people in this room. Why are they all sitting here in a courtroom created from your imagination, when they should be on their respective vessels exploring the heavens and resolving their own conflicts? The answer, once again, is you… meddling once more. Look at what you've done to Captain Picard. He could have been well satisfied with his career, but no, you had to throw Shea in his face. You shoved him through the Guardian of Time to a point in her life when she was most vulnerable and tied them together in a Gordian knot. All because of your pride, your selfish desires, your lack of vision. And I'm supposed to just lie down and let you take over. You're lucky that I haven't given in to my disappointment with the Continuum and reabsorbed the lot of you. But be warned, Q, I'm close… I'm very close."

Q's eyes grew a little wide, but he held his ground. "Empty threats. When combined as we are now, we are a match for you. A piece of yourself is missing, an ancestor pulled from your mind to animate her. You have weakened yourself by your own hand."

"Not nearly as much as you might think. My resources are bottomless. You have no concept of the depths of my ancestral heritage and I intend to keep it that way. No disrespect intended, Captain," Derek said looking at Picard, "but this trial is a farce. I doubt either party to this dispute will be willing to abide by your decision should it go against him. I think you already know that. You're just buying time from us."

"So why have you chosen to participate then?" Picard asked.

"You deserve to understand what your tormentors are about, and why you've been toyed with repeatedly. The Q owes you that much. I evolved in human form along with your species, so in many respects, I have more in common with you than I do with the Continuum. Like you, I am a single mind guided by sentiment. As all things are held together by gravity in mutual attraction, so too does sentiment yearn for connection with the other. You, more than anyone else, can understand why I was compelled to create a counterpart to fulfill my needs. The Q have no claim on her, no right."

"If the Q prevail, what happens then?" Picard asked.

"They will pull Shea's mind and energy into them," Derek said. "They believe it will tip the balance of power between us, and they will triumph over me."

"And so we shall," Q said.

"And if D prevails?" Picard asked.

"He will destroy her," Q said accusingly. "As a Q, she will be changed, I grant you, but you could see her again."

"Actually, my preference would have been to keep the status quo," Derek countered, "but sadly the Q are making that impossible. My only recourse may be to reabsorb her into my essence. She would not be destroyed, merely returned to source where she belongs."

"But what you're both saying is that either way, her humanity ends," Picard concluded. His shock slowly turned to rage. "This is unconscionable. Neither of you have the right to decide her fate. Her life should be hers to live as she sees fit."

"I completely agree," Derek replied. "I have tried to defend and protect her from the Q, but they are so persistent and determined to steal her from me."

"If anyone is watching out for her interest, it is the Q. Only aligned with us will she finally be free of D's twisted attentions, and still maintain some sense of her own identity. You want what's best for her, then rule in our favor, Captain."

"Her sense of identity would be severely altered as a Q. She may not even remember you, Captain, and I can guarantee she will feel no love for you. She'll make her dark self seem downright cuddly by comparison."

Picard looked from one to the other, hating them equally, hating even more that he would be forced to choose between them.

"Do you have any more questions?" Derek asked.

Picard shook his head. "No. I think you've made your positions quite clear."

"So then make your ruling, Captain. We shall see who, if anyone, abides by it."

"I need time to consider. I will present my decision in twenty-four hours."

Derek smiled. "Buying more time, Captain?"

"Grant me that. I need to… reflect."

"And to say good-bye. I understand," Derek said, then looked at Q. "Agreed?"

"We will wait until first light… but no longer," Q said.

"First light it is then," Derek confirmed. And in a blink, the courtroom vanished. Picard, Shea, Riker and Troi found themselves standing once again in the middle of the broken flooring of the Temple. The exploded crevice was dark again and free of flame.

Picard tapped his comm. badge. "Ship, what is the crew's status?"

"I am relieved to report that as of now, all are present and accounted for. However, the crewmembers of both ships were missing for a period of twenty minutes, forty-three seconds. I was very worried."

"How long until first light?"

"Fourteen hours and thirty-one minutes."

"Ship, transport the four of us aboard."

"Apologies, My Captain, but I am under emergency orders from Shea not to engage the transporters without her direct authorization."

Shea tapped her own badge. "Ship, countermand those orders. Return full command authorization to Captain Picard."

"Yes, Sweet Shea. Command restored to Captain Picard. Initiating transport."

The transporter kicked in and a moment later, the four of them stood on Ship's grey-toned bridge. Data stood to greet them.

"It appears everyone has been returned to their prior locations unharmed," he reported. "If you would like to go over any of the statements made at the hearing, I am prepared to assist."

"Thank you, Data," Picard said.

"Do you know what your ruling will be?" Riker asked.

Picard shook his head. "I'm not sure. It seems to be a no win situation."

"You have to take me out of the equation, Jean-Luc. There are bigger concerns," Shea told him, "and you can't protect me either way."

"I am aware. Still, I will throw what little weight my opinion will carry toward the party I decide is more deserving, even though it's questionable whether it will have any effect on the ultimate outcome. If I decide against the Q, they will undoubtedly make our lives more miserable than ever. They have a pattern of exploiting D's interest in humans in their search for a way to overthrow him. If I decide against D, he's already said he won't go down without a fight. I can only imagine the fallout from a full out battle between these titans. What will be the cost to this universe? "

"I think you should rule in D's favor," Shea said. "It's the best chance of avoiding a battle. If I let myself be taken quickly by him, the Q will recognize they are outmatched and withdraw."

"Don't you think the Q will be prepared for just that event? They'll block him."

"They'll try," Shea agreed. "But I still think it's our best option to stop a war."

"It's not your best option. At least with the Q, you would have some semblance of yourself remaining. I don't believe you would suffer with them."

"Still, I'm not sure it's an existence I would want."

"But assimilation into D could be an endless nightmare…worse than anything I experienced with the Borg."

"We can't know that. Like I said, you have to take me out of the equation."

"It would be easier by far to stop breathing," he said, then he felt her pulling her mind away from his. "Stop that! It's premature. At least allow me to enjoy you while I still can." He felt the connection full and complete again and took a deep breath. "D was right about one thing. I do understand his need for you."

"I'm sorry," Shea said. "I almost wish you didn't."

"It was my choice," he reminded her.

"I thought we would have more time."

He smiled bitterly in response. "A common refrain."

Deanna approached Shea. "I'm wondering if there is anything we can do to make this separation less traumatic this time."

Shea nodded. "Have Dr. Bashir standing by. He can prep him ahead of time and minimize the effects. Julian is fully informed and knows what to do."

"I wish you wouldn't discuss me as if I weren't here," Picard told them.

"There's no point in your suffering," Shea replied. "Have you come to a decision?"

He shook his head. "No. Not yet. I have time. I want to think about this."

"All right. While you ponder my fate, I have some untidy ends I'd like to deal with. I'm going to go see Norath. He's carrying around a load of memories that don't belong to him. Time I fixed that. If you don't need Data to read back testimony to you, I'd like him to accompany me."

Picard nodded. "Go ahead. Try not to be gone too long."


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Data followed Shea as she exited Ship's bridge into the outer corridor and headed to the transporter room. He paused in the corridor along the way and retrieved the carved crystal snake crown from its niche hidden in Ship's wall.

"You reprogrammed it?" she asked him, glancing back but not breaking stride.

"Affirmative," he replied, and quickly caught up to her. "I am prepared to perform this backup plan of yours as discussed. However, I must question its effectiveness under these circumstances."

"Me too," she agreed. "But it's the best we've got. Do what you can to sway Picard toward ruling in D's favor. I like D less, but I think the chances of this working might be slightly better with him in charge of me."

"I am unable to determine a mathematical quantity for your characterization of slightly. Can you enlighten me?"

"Not really, Data. I'm going with my gut, not my head."

"I believe I understand," he said thoughtfully as he walked with her into the transporter room. "My head tells me this plan of yours has less than a point zero one percent chance of success, whereas my gut says you are screwed."

"Thanks," she said and laughed.

Data put a hand on her shoulder so she stopped and turned to look at him.

"I shall miss you," he said.

"Maybe you should turn off your emotion chip until this is over," she told him.

"No, I want to feel what I feel."

"That's your right. But if you allow sentiment to interfere…if you should hesitate, this plan can go from a slight possibility of success to absolute zero."

"I will not allow my feelings to interfere. You can rely on that."

"Okay. Then we won't discuss it again," she said and went through the door into the transporter room. "Now, if you would, please locate Naroth and transport the three of us to his residence."

Data went to the transporter control panel, and initiated a search program to locate Naroth. "I have his position. Initiating transport."

When the three materialized in Naroth's throne room, Norath spun around in alarm until Shea caught him. "It's all right. I transported you here with our technology."

"I was on the wall," he told her, still not quite understanding.

"Yes, I'm sorry we couldn't warn you. But I needed you here with me," she told him, still firmly hanging on to his arms.

He calmed as he looked at her. "I need to be with you as well."

"You still want to cut Captain Picard's head off?"

"Absolutely."

"That's what I thought. Please, sit down and let me talk to you." He sat in his throne and Shea saw how well it fit him. "When you told Picard that you knew nothing of the crystal crown, other than that I had left it here, you weren't exactly telling the truth, were you?"

"I didn't think he should know its true purpose," Naroth replied.

"I'm glad you didn't tell him. It's nothing to be proud of. I've done you a terrible disservice," she said. "These memories you carry of the original Naroth don't belong to you. It was wrong of me to saddle you with them."

"How can you say that? They gave me hope that you would return. They helped me understand my heritage, and let me know you weren't merely some fantastic tale invented to explain the unexplainable. I knew better. I knew you were real."

"You can still know that I am real, but without those memories weighing you down and distorting your feelings for me. I want to remove them."

Data approached with the crystal crown in his hands and Naroth visibly tensed. "You would take my life from me? But I have no heir. Who will ascend in my place? Surely not this android of yours?"

"You misunderstand," Shea said. "This crown will never again be used to transfer memory and power from one generation to the next. I seek only to restore you to the person you should be. Trust me now and place it on your head."

Data handed him the crown and Naroth stared at it in his hands. "I am neither ready to die, nor lose my memories of you."

"Neither will happen. You will live and you will remember me. You will simply remember me differently. Again, I ask you to trust me. Put it on."

Naroth slowly lifted the crown, his hands shaking as he set it on his head. She could see the fear in his eyes as he looked at her.

"Do you remember the day we first met?"

"Yes," he smiled a little at her despite his fear. "I couldn't believe what I had captured in my snare. I had heard stories about you, but had given them little weight. Then I saw you lying there, unconscious from the mist, like no woman I had ever seen before or have seen since. I thought you would be the death of me, but I didn't care."

Shea nodded and smiled, watching the crown change color. "Now follow the stream of memory forward, quickly now… all the way to the end, to the very last time you saw me. That last day."

His smile went away. "That is not a day I like to think about."

"Think about it anyway. What happened?"

"You had changed. You were dark and cold nearly all the time. I had grown older. I was tired of the equinoxes, the endless fight for survival. And I missed you as you were before, before you had become this cold unfeeling other. You kept us alive, but it hardly felt like living. I waited until you were flesh and blood again. On that last day, I tried to end your life, but I wasn't quick enough. When you transformed back, you ended mine instead and transferred my memories to our son. It was through his eyes, that I saw you promise to return someday, then disappear from our world."

Shea removed the crown and handed it back to Data. Naroth scowled at her now with a combination of suspicion and resentment.

"When did you say we first met?" she asked again.

"Beyond the wall. You were on the ground unconscious, drunk apparently. I had to heal you, just so we could have a conversation, and it turned out you didn't remember anything about us. I was hardly impressed."

"Yes. Well, I wasn't at my best, that's for sure."

"No matter. Though long overdue, you came through for us in the end. I suppose I must thank you for that."

"I owed you."

Naroth looked at the still faintly glowing crown in Data's hands.

"I don't want that thing around here anymore," he said. "Take it with you, destroy it, I don't care. Just don't leave it here."

"We'll take care of it, don't worry," she assured him. "I should say good-bye to you now. You won't be seeing me again."

"Just as well. You never really belonged here."

"True," she admitted, though it hurt a little to hear it from someone with her own eyes. "About that book I wrote…"

"I'll burn it."

She nodded. "That would probably be best. You might want to keep some of those drawings though. It would give you a head start on a few things."

"I'll consider it."

"Data, take us back to Ship, please."

"Two to transport," he requested. The beams took hold and put them back into Ship's transporter room. He saw that she held a hand over her eyes. "Was that encounter a painful experience for you?" he inquired.

She swiped away the tears. "It was like seeing him die all over again. I didn't feel anything then. This time it hurt. I took his life because he was a threat and of no use to me as he was. I callously stole his mind and put it into someone I could control. When I changed back, I was horrified. Small wonder, I wanted to escape this world and forget what happened here."

"I cannot fail to recognize a similarity between your actions then and that which the Q seek from D now."

"Yes, I guess I really am related to them. It appears that without my human heritage, I fell back on an ancient instinct to preserve knowledge and hand it down to my descendants."

"And yet you did not hand down your own awareness," Data noted.

"No, I didn't. But then self preservation is my strong suit, isn't it? I'll do just about anything to survive, every time. Just look at how I'm scrambling now, even though it would probably be better for everyone if I didn't."

"I disagree. And I encourage you to fight."

She nodded and smiled at him. "I will. Count on it. Take good care of that, Data."

Data looked at the circle of crystal snakes in his hands. "Count on it," he replied.

When Shea returned to the bridge, she found her Klingon head of security in charge. "Hello, Chorack. Where is everyone?" she asked.

"In the multi-purpose room, conferring," he replied, his dark ridged features glowered unhappily. "No one knows how to defend you against this threat. My battle skills are useless."

"Mine too," she replied. "There's no shame in knowing when you're outmatched and outplayed. You've served this ship and crew well. I ask that in my absence, you continue to do so under Captain Picard's leadership."

"It will not be the same."

"Hire some women… it'll help."

He shook his head and she patted his shoulder as she left him there. She found Picard sitting with all the senior officers from both ships gathered together in the multi-purpose room. Her hackles rose immediately.

"Well, this is unexpected," she said. "I suppose everybody's got an opinion they're just dying to share. I hope you don't mind if I listen in?"

"Come sit down," Picard told her, indicating an empty chair beside him. "We'll overlook your sarcasm under the circumstances."

"A rather obvious defense mechanism," Deanna noted.

"We shouldn't judge. She's just trying to cope," Dr. Crusher said sympathetically.

"And now I have this nearly overwhelming urge to smack the both of you," Shea replied.

Guinan handed her a large glass of amber colored liquid. "Relax, have a drink. And try to remember we're on the same side."

"From barmaid to the inner circle… when did you get demoted?"

"I asked to be here," Guinan told her. "I feel somewhat responsible."

"Don't flatter yourself."

"Are you through?" Picard asked her.

"Not quite. I still have another twelve or thirteen hours I think."

"Twelve hours, forty-three minutes, thirty-seven seconds," Data informed her.

"Don't do that," she told him. He nodded and remained silent. She looked at Riker. "Did you take back command of the Enterprise?"

"We did. No thanks to you."

"You wouldn't have wanted my help. I would have had to transform again for your computer to recognize me. You should really consider upgrading to a sentient ship… they can intuit things and are generally a lot smarter."

"Very true," Ship said.

"Come sit down," Picard told her again. "We have some questions."

"This is a waste of my time," she replied, but sat down anyway.

"About this portal of yours," he said. "You were able to pull a significant amount of energy through it to defend yourself against Tommy. We're wondering if it might prove an effective deterrent again."

"They might find my little fireworks show amusing, if I feel like making a fool of myself."

"Then how about this back-up plan you mentioned?"

"That was before we ended up in Q's courtroom." She was pleased to see nothing changed in Data's facial expression. "You're grasping at straws, Jean-Luc."

"You were also able to transport yourself. Have you thought about hiding from them?"

"Oh, that's it! I'll just tell them to cover their eyes and count to a hundred while I'm at it."

"Why aren't you taking this seriously?"

"I am taking it seriously. Which is why I'm tying up loose ends. Accept what is, Jean-Luc, and move on. Ship will be still be yours. Don't underestimate her. She's young, and still growing. She can expand to accommodate as many crew as you would ever want. Take good care of her and she'll do the same for you. I suggest you hire a few from the telepathic races just in case you ever lose tech support again. "

"I can't believe you're just giving up like this."

"It's not about giving up. I'll simply have a different sort of existence. So, let's keep this in perspective. You'll have your human life here and I'll have my… whatever… wherever. No big deal."

"No big deal?" Picard grabbed her wrist and with his touch, she felt the onrush of his fear, frustration and heartache into her mind, matching up with her own suppressed emotions. The combination shattered her fragile shell of pride and determination not to expose herself. She crumbled into tears.

"Don't. Please don't," was all she could say and wished he would let go of her, but he didn't. And she knew he never would. Not willingly. The realization of that fact was both comforting and frightening, because she also knew what it would cost.

"It's a big deal," Picard said softly. She could only nod and let the tears flow, unable to tell if they were hers or his or both.

She could sense the discomfort and tension from the others in the room, which helped her compose herself and address them again.

"You can't stop them. You can't change their minds. This power struggle predates human existence. If you find yourself back in that courtroom in the morning, do not bring attention to yourself. Your best bet is to lay low. Neither I nor Captain Picard have that option, but the rest of you do. Now, I'd very much like to stop talking about this. This room feels like a wake and I can think of more pleasant ways to spend tonight."

Picard nodded in understanding and finally let go of her wrist. "You'd like to say your good-bye's in private," he observed. "I'll be in my quarters."

When Picard left the room, Shea looked at the others sitting around the table and just before she too left the room, said. "If you want to see me this night, inform Ship. If not, I'll see you in court."


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Chorack was the first Shea chose to visit. He had been manning the bridge when she had made her announcement, so he had made no formal request to see her, but she took it upon herself to include him. When she walked onto the bridge, she told Ship to lock the door. "I've come to say good-bye, Chorack." She pulled off her uniform and straddled his lap. "You were the first one I recruited, so it seems fitting you should be the first I release from your promise to serve me."

"I have no wish to be released," he growled at her. "I chose this. I chose you."

"Nevertheless, you are free. Return to your home world, join another ship, or stay and serve Picard. It's up to you. You don't owe me or anyone else."

"I will always owe you," he said.

"Enough sentiment, Klingon. Take back your pride and say good-bye."

For a long moment, he merely stared into her eyes, then he pulled from something deep within him, snarled and threw her to the floor, pinning her beneath him. She did not resist, letting him take over as roughly as he needed to in order to establish himself as a dominant Klingon male. When at last he was sated, he became gentle again. "In other circumstances, I would claim you now," he told her, still holding her down.

"In other circumstances, I would have ended up on top," she countered.

He sighed and let go of her. She moved out from beneath him and gathered up her uniform. "Qapla'," she said, wishing him luck in Klingon and exited the bridge.

"Does Scotty want to see me?" Shea asked Ship.

"He does," Ship replied. "He is in his quarters."

She thought about putting her uniform back on then decided there was no point. She dropped it in the corridor and headed for Scotty's room. When she buzzed his door, it opened for her.

Scotty smiled at her lack of clothing. "I see there's no need to be subtle about this."

"No time for it either," Shea agreed.

"Come on in then," he said and took her by the hand, but he didn't lead her to his bedroom. Instead he sat her next to him on his sofa. "I have a few things I'd like to say to you. I want to thank you for making me part of all this. I'm still a bit shocked you'd let an old coot like me anywhere near you."

"Age is relative. I've lived far more years than you. Besides, have you seen yourself recently? "

"I have at that and I have to thank you for that as well. I'm feeling almost as spry now as I did when we first met back in the day on the old Enterprise."

"I'll always remember how you and Captain Kirk and Spock and Bones and all the others back then befriended me. I was so young and naïve, but none of you ever took advantage."

"Aye, the Captain showed remarkable restraint, I thought. But you were just a young girl then, though you hardly looked it. Even now, you haven't changed much, other than a couple inches in height."

"Three actually."

"Three? It's a wonder I recognized you," he kidded, but quickly grew serious again. "So what can I do for you now, Lassie? I keep thinking we've missed something. That we haven't explored every avenue. I'm not used to giving up. I want to help you."

"You can help me by just being here and sharing some time with me. We can make love if you'd like or just sit together and talk… whatever you want."

"Whatever I want?" He shook his head. "This should be about what you want."

"What I want is to make sure you've had a chance to say to me whatever you need to, ask me whatever you need to, that nothing is left unresolved. So is there anything unresolved for you, Scotty?"

"Not that I can think of. I'm not all that complicated a fellow. I pretty much speak my mind when I need to and don't let things pile up. I've had the time of my life with you. My only regret is that it may be coming to an end far sooner than I'd hoped."

"Will you stay on with Captain Picard?"

"Aye. Assuming he stays on himself. This is going to be a tough pill for him to swallow, that's for sure."

She looked at his sad expression and didn't like seeing him that way. "Let's go into the bedroom then. I want to put a smile on that face of yours before I leave."

"Well," he said already starting to smile a bit, "if you insist."

When she left Scotty behind an hour later, she again addressed Ship. "So, how about Dr. Bashir?"

"The doctor would like you to visit him in Sickbay."

"Sickbay… hmmm. How romantic."

When she entered the Sickbay area, she spotted the doctor sitting in a chair, his feet resting on a biobed and his head supported on a hand propped up by his elbow. She squatted beside him and looked at him sleeping there. "Julian," she said and his eyes opened.

"Oh, I must have dozed off."

"Well, it is the middle of the night."

"How much time do we have?"

"As much as we need."

He laughed bitterly at that. "I doubt that. I had hoped for years not a few months. And now we're down to hours."

"Time we should put to good use then. So why are we in Sickbay?"

"You said you wanted to tie up loose ends." He stood, walked over to the wall and pressed a panel. A long metal drawer slid out bearing a body identical to Shea's. "What about this one?"

"My spare parts? Don't suppose I'll be needing any. Do whatever you like with it."

"What I would like is to bring it to awareness. But thanks to D, that's impossible. Your clones never wake. Apparently, he's the only one who could make that body function as an entity."

"True, but you might enjoy continuing to study my genetic engineering. You've told me you find D's DNA combinations fascinating, plus you could finally dissect those odd organs you find so puzzling. Hang on to it for now and talk to Picard and Data about it later. Make a joint decision."

"You're sure you're okay with my keeping a clone of you? You don't think it's perverse? You don't feel insulted or violated?"

"No. It's fine, really. Keep it. I want you to."

He nodded his head and let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you. For science and medicine… who knows, it may prove invaluable one day."

"Who knows. So anything else I can do for science and medicine?" she asked.

"Actually, I did have something in mind," he said with a smile. "I thought maybe we could make use of that biobed. Whenever we have sex, it always seems off the charts, but I've never actually recorded it. I don't believe anyone ever has. Would you mind?" He activated the biobed monitors and patted the bed invitingly.

She smiled and laughed. "Maybe I was wrong about your not being perverse."

"You love it and you know it. Now lie down and let me play doctor."

She positioned herself on the bed and saw the monitors respond to her pulse and respiration, as well as a myriad of less immediately recognizable readouts. "For science."

"And medicine," he added and went to work.

Another couple hours had passed by the time she again stood in Ship's corridors. Julian had been very thorough and she still felt a little weak in the knees. "Is Data in his quarters?"

"He is."

"I assume he wants me to visit him."

"Negative. He has deactivated himself until morning. He asked me to transmit the following message to you. He said he loves you, he will miss you and he will not hesitate."

She sighed heavily and leaned against Ship's wall. "I was looking forward to spending some time with him. But I guess this is for the best. Tell him I love him too. So that's it then, except for the Captain."

"There are also requests from personnel aboard the Enterprise," Ship informed her. "Dr. Beverly Crusher, Commander Geordi La Forge, Commander Deanna Troi and Captain William Riker would like to meet with you."

"Oh boy. Well, I suppose they qualify as loose ends too. Would you hail the Enterprise for me, please?"

"Commander Troi here," Deanna acknowledged crisply.

"Hi. I understand there are some people who want to talk to me. Permission to come aboard?"

"Granted. Why don't you start in Sickbay with Dr. Crusher."

"On my way," she replied, then exhaled slowly, not looking forward to the tongue-lashing she was about to receive. She recovered the uniform she had left behind on the floor and put it back on. "Ready to transport as requested," she informed Ship and felt the beams kick in. She found herself in familiar surroundings, having been treated in this Sickbay in the past. A nurse looked over at her in surprise. "May I help you?"

"I have this," Beverly informed her walking toward them. "Come with me into my office."

Shea followed her in and sat in a chair in front of Beverly's desk. "So what can I do for you, Doctor?"

"You can start by apologizing," she said and pointed at her throat.

"Didn't I already….?"

"No, you didn't."

"Sorry."

"Now explain why you did it."

Shea shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "I was jealous I guess. Picard has feelings for you. Sometimes, it gets on my nerves."

"Oh." Now it was Beverly's turn to look uncomfortable. "I see. You know, we've never…"

"I know. Nevertheless…"

"Well. Thank you for explaining. I'm sorry about your situation. If there's anything I can do…"

"Be nice to Jean-Luc. Help him if you can. He's going to need all the support he can get."

Beverly nodded in understanding. "I'll do whatever I can."

"Good. Anything else?"

Beverly shook her head. "I don't think so."

"Then I'll be off. I have more people to visit apparently."

Shea headed for Engineering to locate Geordi. He looked pleased to see her.

"Thanks for coming by," he said. "I know you don't have a lot of time to waste, so I won't take up much of it. I just wanted to say thank you for helping me when my implants weren't working."

"No problem."

"I also wanted to thank you for offering me a job. I was seriously thinking about it."

"And now you're not?"

"Well. If you're not going to be there, it's not quite as tempting an offer. If you get my drift."

"I get it. Too bad, though. Picard and Scotty could use your help, and with or without me there, it's still a good opportunity. I encourage you to keep thinking about it. You may change your mind one day."

"Maybe. We'll see."

"Good-bye then. It would have been nice to get to know you better." She gave him a kiss and left him there.

"Computer, inform Commander Troi and Captain Riker I am ready to meet with them."

"Acknowledged," came the computer's response. A moment later, the computer addressed her again. "You are to proceed to the Captain's Quarters."

She knew the way, having spent time there with Picard years ago. This would be a different experience with Deanna and Riker confronting her instead. When the door opened for her she found the two of them sitting side by side on a green sofa she didn't recognize. Apparently, they had redecorated to suit their own tastes.

Deanna pointed to a purple chair. "Have a seat," she said, and Shea sat down without comment or protest, waiting to hear what Deanna had to say. "We've talked a lot about what we've experienced with you, how those experiences have affected us, and what we wanted to say to you as a result."

"Fine," Shea nodded. "I'm listening."

"You've frequently been disrespectful, confrontational and inappropriate," Deanna told her. "They are not traits either of us find endearing. However, we recognize you meant no harm and forgive you for the things you said that seemed offensive to us at the time. We do not forgive or forget what you did when you were transformed into a dreadful heartless creature under the influence of that other dimension. However, we do not consider the you, as you are now, responsible for those actions."

"Okay. Well that's very… understanding of you… I guess. Thank you. So, we're good then?"

"Not exactly. I also recall your threatening to take my husband away from me, and while I was separated from him, you came close to doing so."

"Yeah. Sorry about that. Guess I had a momentary lapse of judgment there. But Will set me straight. So no harm done, right?" Shea looked at Will, who averted his gaze and said nothing.

"Except he didn't set you straight. You intentionally alienated him out of friendship to me. You're a lousy actress. I'm surprised he bought it."

Shea paused for a moment, confused. "So you're scolding me for being a lousy actress?"

"You really are emotionally retarded," Deanna said.

Shea frowned at the insult but did not react. "Get to the point. I don't have a lot of time here."

"The point is, you and Will have unfinished business. On some level, he is still in love with you and has been covering it up with aggression and anger. Before you become a martyr in his eyes, I want this resolved."

"And how am I supposed to do that?" Shea asked.

"You're going to go into that bedroom, take off your clothes and make love to him the way you've been wanting to ever since you laid eyes on him again."

"I am?"

"You are," Deanna confirmed sternly.

"And that's going to fix everything?" Shea looked from Deanna to Will, who shook his head in response.

"I believe it will be therapeutic. In doing so, he will be forced to openly recognize and explore his feelings for you. His deep seated emotions won't be buried and festering in the dark any longer."

Shea smiled and looked at the ceiling before chuckling. "Of all the things, I thought you might say to me, this never entered my mind." She took a deep breath and tried to wipe the grin off her face. "Well, I am more than happy to cooperate. But I do have one thought. After Will and I have finished resolving this, as you put it, how are you going to feel?"

"I can deal with my emotions," Deanna replied stoically. "I recognize the need for this and I can accept it."

"Wow," Shea said, looking at Deanna's frozen facial expression. "You're even a worse actress than I am. This is going to eat you alive, isn't it? You'll always be wondering what exactly transpired behind those doors. You'll wonder what we said to each other. How I touched him. How he touched me. What I could do for him that you couldn't… and on and on. It will end up another secret dividing you, festering in the dark."

Tears rolled down Deanna's cheeks. "Maybe you're not quite as emotionally retarded as I thought."

"Thank you."

"I don't know what to do. His feelings for you are real and need to be addressed."

"All right," Shea nodded. "Then join us. No secrets."

Will started to protest until Shea held up a warning finger to him.

"Oh," Deanna paused for a moment. "I don't know if that's a good idea."

"Me either. But it's better than the one you suggested. If you're serious about this, I want both of you there."

"I thought you weren't attracted to women," Will said accusingly.

"Not usually," Shea replied and winked at Deanna.

"Forget it," Will said angrily. "I'm not letting you manipulate us like this."

"See what I mean?" Deanna said to Shea, "He's so angry. He really needs your help."

"I do not need her help. I don't even like her," Will protested. "This was a crazy idea and it's getting crazier."

"So it wouldn't be weird for you if I were part of this?" Deanna asked Shea, ignoring Will.

"No, I don't think so. Honestly, I thought it was pretty cute the way you were flirting with me after I healed your hand. Made me want to heal something else."

Deanna flushed and smiled.

"Besides, most of our attention will be on Will, anyway." Shea turned to look at Riker and a slow smile grew in anticipation.

Shea's unrelenting hungry stare was making his pulse quicken despite himself. "Deanna, you better be damned sure about this," he said, unable to look away.

When only silence followed, Shea stood and ripped off her uniform. "I think we've passed the point of no return." She climbed onto Riker's lap and kissed and undressed him until he was as breathless and aroused as she was. "Go lie on the bed and wait for us," she told him. When the door closed behind him, she turned to Deanna who had been watching them wide-eyed. "Come here." Deanna took a step back. Shea quickly closed the gap between them, and pulled her close. "Now, now," Shea whispered soothingly into her ear."No second thoughts, no regrets. You've made the right choice to help Will. It's all right." Shea kissed her tenderly until she relaxed and let her remove her clothing. "I'm going to help you understand and accept each other completely. After this, thoughts of me will bind you together instead of tear you apart. Trust me." Shea led her into the bedroom where Will waited for them.

When Shea left them contentedly entwined in each other's arms hours later, she knew she had kept her promise. She had served as a conduit for them to reach understanding and acceptance and now she was out of their way. She reached out in her mind to Ship and had herself transported back on board. When she returned to her quarters, Picard was awake and waiting for her.

"You've been quite productive this evening," he observed.

"So have you been following along the whole time?" she asked, already knowing he had, as she hadn't blocked him for a moment.

"Of course, I have."

"I hope you approve."

"For the most part. Although your method of accomplishing your goals is always a bit questionable."

"It's how I'm built. Take it up with D."

"I know. I shouldn't judge. Are you very disappointed about Data's choice?"

"A little. But we've been spending quite a bit of time in each other's company, so I can understand why he decided not to see me."

"What did he mean when he promised not to hesitate?"

"Oh that. It was about finding someone new," she lied.

Picard sighed, knowing it to be a lie, but he decided not to press her on it.

"I hope you'll do the same," she continued. "As a matter of fact, I was thinking if Q isn't too unhappy with you, he might even give you back Vash as sort of a consolation prize."

"I hope not," Picard replied. "I sincerely doubt that I will be in a receptive mood."

"Well, maybe not right away."

"Maybe not ever. Actually, there is no maybe about it."

"Don't let this take longer to recover from than it absolutely has to. Dr. Bashir can help you and you can talk to Deanna again. Just remind yourself that it will get better over time."

"That's what I kept telling myself before. But it didn't get better. In fact, it got worse. I missed you more and more as time passed. Each new loss, reminded me of the one that had cut me in two and…," he stopped himself. "I'm sorry. This isn't fair. Here I am pouring my pain on top of yours, when what I really want is to be of comfort, and treasure what little time we have left."

"Not so little. Over five hours. An eternity for someone who can focus on a moment and slow it down the way you can." She moved beside him so that he could hold her.

"You give me too much credit," he protested, but even as he did so, he could feel it happening. His need to fully appreciate this time together, slowed everything down to crystal clarity as he focused on her completely without distraction, letting his mind and heart meld with hers.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

"Pardon the intrusion," Dr. Bashir called out as he strode into Shea and the Captain's shared quarters and on into their bedroom. "It's nearly first light and I need to prep the Captain." He averted his gaze long enough for the two of them to separate themselves, then hit Picard with a series of hyposprays. "These should keep you from losing it, no matter what goes down."

"I hope you're not drugging me to the point that I won't be able to think straight," Picard told him.

"You should have full control of your faculties right up until the end. Even then, the numbing agents will kick in only in proportion to your adrenaline output. There is a slight risk that you may lose consciousness at some point, but I'm fairly sure you won't. I've been working on this combination for awhile now."

Picard rubbed the stinging sensation from his neck then noticed Bashir wasn't offering anything to Shea. "Can't you do anything to help her with this transition?"

Julian shrugged, "Nothing she'll let me do. I did offer."

"Don't worry," she said. "I'm sure I won't feel a thing. Do I have time for a quick shower?"

Julian nodded. "First light isn't for at least another fifteen minutes."

"I'll be super quick."

Although she enjoyed the sensation of the hot steaming water, she didn't linger. She knew she had at least another ten minutes left, but when she stepped out of the shower, she found herself enclosed in a box not much larger than herself. She pounded the mirrored wall with a fist. "It's not first light yet," she protested, but no one answered and nothing changed. Her time was up. She had been taken.

When the water in the shower stopped, Picard and Bashir waited for Shea to return. Instead, they heard silence, and in alarm, rushed into the other room to see it empty.

"Looks like we forgot to synchronize clocks," Bashir commented.

"And yet we're still here. Ship, how long till first light?"

"Ten minutes, forty-three seconds," Ship answered.

"They took her early… for safekeeping apparently," Picard concluded.

"Why? It's not like she had any way out."

"Perhaps they thought she might. Let's hope they're right," Picard said.

Shea stood in her small mirrored prison, waiting impatiently. She wished she had room to pace, or turn or better yet to run, but all she could do was stand and stare at the body she was soon to be deprived of. She wondered if this oncoming separation of her ancestral energy from her body would feel similar to what she experienced when she had been injured beyond the point of functioning. Probably not. In those times, she had always stayed with her body, aware of it and her identity even as she regenerated. This would be different. Her thoughts, her memories, her sense of self… they would all be gone in an instant. She doubted any physical pain would be involved. Pain was part of life. There would be none of that.

After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, her reflected image faded away as light came up from outside her tiny prison, revealing again the same courtroom from the day before. She saw Picard now sitting behind a large raised desk again, once more clothed in the black robe of a judge. For a moment she wondered if he could see her but then their eyes met and she knew that he could. She tried to reach out in her mind only to feel her own thoughts reflect back to her. The walls of this prison would not allow her to communicate with him, so she simply kissed her own palm and pressed it to the wall for him to see. D appeared on her left and Q materialized to her right. They both stared at her with an intensity she had never witnessed from them before. The only thing in her mind that came close was the unblinking gaze of snakes preparing to strike. She felt a rising panic and forced herself to look away from them and focus on Jean-Luc. She saw him now begin to speak, but no sound transmitted. She would have to guess what was going on. She took slow deep breaths, willing herself to be calm and centered, slowing time down the way he had taught her.

When Picard found himself seated once more in the role of a judge, he saw Shea trapped in what looked like a tall glass box in the center of the room. The crew once again sat in the audience on one side with the glowing figures of the Continuum on the other. When Shea palmed him a kiss, he closed his eyes for a moment to collect himself. He opened them again, and saw D on one side of Shea and Q on the other, their attention focused solely in her direction. He expected them to turn and face him, but they did not. Instead a large button appeared on the desk before him under the words: _'The Plaintiff's petition is hereby…" _then the button began alternating between _'Denied_' and '_Granted'_. Clearly they expected him to press the button to make his ruling without further comment or delay. He frowned at the blinking display before him and at the two entities staring at their target. He was quite certain that pressing that button would be more like shooting off a starter's gun than making a legal decision. He had no intention of playing their game. He would rule on his own terms or not at all.

"Will the Plaintiff and the Defendant please approach the bench?" he requested. When neither moved nor responded, he tried again. "I have no intention of making my decision known until I have your full attention."

"So, do you want to hear his ruling, or don't you?" D asked.

"I'm not looking away, until you do," Q replied.

"Together then," D said and in unison, they turned and walked toward Picard. "You wanted our attention, Captain? Now, you have it."

"Thank you. You may recall that you both agreed to this arbitration. I would like those words read back to you." Picard then noticed that Data was not seated where he had been the day before. "Where is Mr. Data?"

"We didn't see the need for his presence," Q replied. "Besides, I find him annoying."

"Because he is beyond your influence," Picard said. "I insist he be present. I cannot proceed without my court reporter."

"Oh, very well," Q said irritably and Data materialized in the seat he had occupied previously.

"My apologies for being late to the proceedings," Data said taking in the current situation. He focused on Shea in her glass cell. "I trust that I can still be of service."

"You can," Picard said. "I would like you to read back the agreement D and Q entered into in regard to this arbitration."

"Yes, sir. Your words were as follows: 'I have been selected to act as arbitrator in the matter of Q versus D. My judgment shall be binding on all parties. If there is any objection to that, let it be known now.'"

"And were any objections raised?"

"They were not," Data confirmed.

Picard addressed D and Q, "Did you or did you not both agree to respect the ruling of this court?"

D smiled that unnerving shark-like smile of his that Picard recognized from long ago. "Try as you might, Captain, you will not be successful in boxing me into a corner. I promised to hear your ruling and take your words into consideration out of respect for Shea's trust in you. That is the most you can expect of me."

"Now you know what kind of creature you are dealing with, Captain," Q said. "A slippery one that cannot be trusted. He will say one thing, while meaning another, mislead you and toy with you. You can't believe a word he says."

"Are you certain you're not describing yourself, Q?"

"Jean-Luc, I thought we were friends. I'm hurt. Truly," Q said, pressing a hand to his chest as if wounded.

"Hmmm… I'm sure," Picard replied skeptically.

D glared at them both and brought a fist down on the desk. "I grow weary of this pointless banter between you two. Say what you wish to say, Captain, and make your ruling."

"Very well. It's become clear to me that neither of you have any concern for the welfare of other life forms except as to how their existence directly affects your own. You may have given Shea her life, D, but that does not mean you have the right to take it back. It's hers to live as she sees fit. I cannot condone your asking ask her to pay the ultimate price for your ambitions. Each of you in your own way is equally manipulative and self-promoting. No matter which of you would come out on top, the result would be an unrestrained entity guided solely by self-interest. I am aware that rampant destruction may result if war breaks out between you. I pray you show some restraint and if not, I pray that it results in your mutual annihilation. Therefore, in the hope that the balance of power will be preserved and a pitched battle avoided, Plaintiff's petition is hereby…denied."

"Denied," D echoed, smiling into Q's angry face.

"We'll see about that," Q replied, and then all hell broke loose.

Reality seemed to fold in on itself to be replaced by overwhelming sensory input of sight and sound that made little if any sense to the human minds trying to perceive what was happening around them. Picard thought he saw Shea ripple in and out of existence, surrounded by music, light and forms that twisted and stretched his mind beyond all reason, as D and Q shot unnaturally in her direction, only to be blocked by seemingly countless duplicates of the Tommy Knockers, screaming in high pitched decibels that threatened to blow out his eardrums, and in the middle of it all was Data and the unmistakable sound of a full-powered phaser blast, that abruptly ended everything.

Picard stood in his quarters on Ship again, catching his breath and trying to comprehend what he had just witnessed. Dr. Bashir was there too, on his knees. They looked at each other in confusion.

"I have no idea what the hell just happened," Dr. Bashir said.

"Nor do I," Picard agreed and helped him to his feet. "But I think Data does." He tapped his comm badge. "Data, report."

"I am on the bridge, Captain. Ship is now in normal space in orbit around Nimbus III along with the Enterprise. I have activated our cloaking device. All personnel are present and accounted for with one notable exception. Shea is no longer with us. We are being hailed by the Enterprise."

"On my way," Picard said. He reached out in his mind for Shea and felt no surprise that he received nothing in return. He knew she was gone. It did surprise him that he felt no pain, only an all pervading numbness. Dr. Bashir's chemical cocktail seemed to be doing its job. If this was to be anything close to what he'd experienced before when his connection to her had abruptly ended, when these drugs wore off, he would collapse. But at least for now, he wasn't crippled. He headed for the bridge and Bashir followed him.

"On screen," he ordered upon entering the bridge. Riker's image promptly came into view.

"Everyone there all right?" Picard asked.

"It would seem so. How about you?"

"She's gone, as expected. The rest of us have been returned."

"I'm sorry. If there's anything we can do…"

"How about turning a blind eye for the next few minutes? Give us a headstart."

"Afraid I can't accommodate you. I have my orders. And just as soon as we get our warp core engines online, we're coming after you." Riker winked at him.

Picard nodded. "Good luck then." He signaled Data to cut off communications. "Get us the hell of here, Data."

"Yes, sir. Getting the hell out," Data replied. and initiated warp drive.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

In a matter of moments, Ship put a significant safety margin of distance between them and the Enterprise.

"Do you have a destination in mind, Captain?" Data inquired.

"Not a clue," Picard admitted, watching the stars shoot by. "Data, what happened back there?"

"I assume you are referring to the events in Q's courtroom which immediately followed your ruling."

"I am. It all happened so fast I couldn't make sense of it. I'm assuming you did not have that problem."

"Affirmative," Data confirmed. "Would you like me to relate those events sequentially?"

Picard shared a look with Dr. Bashir who appeared equally confused and ready to hear this. Picard decided he'd better sit down and lowered himself into the Captain's Chair. "Yes, please do."

"Upon your ruling, both D and Q reached for possession of their ancestral energy residing within Shea body. Tommy ran interference for her as she accessed her internal portal, phasing herself in and out of time and space which allowed her to move free of her confinement which in turn allowed me access to her. I used the concealed phaser in my possession to fully disintegrate her as she had requested."

"That was what your promise was about then, when you said you wouldn't hesitate?"

"Correct."

"I still don't understand. They would have ended her life without any help from you, so what purpose did it serve?"

"The purpose was to free her from corporeal form before D and Q could reach her. Her hope was that this would allow her life force to return to its point of origin…the dimension which we refer to as Chaos."

Picard nodded remembering. "I thought I saw it for a split second."

"Shea knew that only D and I could look upon her without distress when she opened herself to that dimension; and only D can follow her there. She was determined not to end up in Q's possession."

"Was she successful then?"

"Unknown. That knowledge is beyond my ability to determine. However, considering that we have returned to our previous points of origin and this universe appears to be stable, I would surmise that the balance of power has been preserved without violent confrontation. If Q had been successful in claiming her essence, I do not believe that would be the case."

Listening to Data's unemotional rendition of the events that had resulted in Shea's death, Picard recognized the same flatness he was feeling in himself. "Data, is your emotion chip turned off?"

"It is. I thought it a wise precaution to take as I knew the moments following might be critical. I kept the chip activated until I had completed my task to end Shea's life, then turned it off. I will pick a time and location with no vital issues to deal with to turn it back on and address the emotional consequences."

"Seems we're both going to experience a delayed reaction at some point."

"I have observed that you seem to be functioning remarkably well, considering how you were very nearly destroyed the last time your connection with her was broken."

"I wouldn't go so far as that," Picard objected feeling somewhat insulted.

"You screamed continuously, until Dr. Crusher knocked you out. Do you not recall?"

"Yes. I recall. Thank you for reminding me."

"You are welcome."

Picard noticed Dr. Bashir sitting on the floor, cradling his head. He appeared to be crying.

"Looks like the doctor needs some of his own medicine," Picard noted.

Data turned to look. "Agreed."

"Is everyone on this ship going to be an emotional basket case?"

"I do not believe the Ketlons will be particularly affected."

"What about Ship?"

"I'd rather not talk about it right now," Ship spoke up and its normally calm voice carried a note of angry resentment, "I am processing what I have heard from your conversation and I am distressed that no one chose to prepare me for this eventuality. I was under the impression that Data and Shea had a backup plan that would prevent her being taken from us. I was counting on it working."

"So was I," Picard said, suddenly realizing that he had been carrying that hope with him the whole time, even though she had acted as if that plan had been rendered moot. "Was there any such plan, Data?"

"There was. I could not share it with you, because unlike Shea and myself, your thoughts are accessible. She needed the element of surprise if it had any chance of success."

"And that plan was merely to allow her life force to escape to that other dimension.. Chaos?"

"In part. She also carried the slim hope that her human existence would be restored, and took steps to enable that possibility."

"What steps?"

"She left a clone of herself in Dr. Bashir's care, and her memories in mine."

"No one's ever been able to bring a clone of her to awareness. They always die upon reaching maturity."

"True, which is why we are dependent on D to make her backup plan successful. Whether he will choose to do so is beyond our control."

"It may even be beyond my control, if I can't find her," D replied and flashed into existence on the bridge. "She doesn't appear to be in the Chaos."

"Are you quite certain?" Data inquired, "That was her intended destination."

"Must be like looking for a needle in the proverbial haystack," Picard said.

"An apt comparison in difficulty. Unless one is equipped with a magnet. I am that magnet in this case, which is why I believe I am attracted to this location." D stared hard at the Captain. "Why aren't you writhing on the floor in abject despair?"

"Dr. Bashir has administered a sophisticated blend of painkillers and mood stabilizers. I am under their influence."

"I'm a very good doctor," Bashir sniffed, still seated on the floor.

"You're not that good," D countered. He put his hands on Picard's chest. "Oh, Captain. No wonder you're doing so well. You are not alone."

"What?" Q flashed into view. "She's taken refuge in Picard?"

"It would appear so. I doubt that she consciously intended to," D replied. "She would never have chosen to risk his life."

"Then why did she?" Q asked.

"He's her safe place. She feels more at home and safer with him than she does in her place of origin or with you or me. Without a mind to tell her to do otherwise, her life force simply went where it wanted to be."

"No matter," Q said focusing on Picard. "It's a simple matter to separate them."

"Not as simple as you might think," D told him. "She's enmeshed completely. Her life force is so entangled with his that in the event of his death, she might be pulled with him beyond our reach forever. She is an integral part of our heritage. I for one am not willing to risk it."

"We can't just leave her in there. He's fragile. He could die at any time."

"Agreed. We have to entice her to separate herself from him."

Picard listened to their exchange in disbelief, laying a hand on his own chest, trying to detect if there was any validity to D's claim. He did feel inordinately calm under the circumstances, something he couldn't quite explain. Perhaps he wasn't grieving for her loss, simply because he hadn't lost her, and yet he couldn't actually feel her with him either.

"Are you sure she's here? I can't sense her thoughts," he said.

"She has no thoughts to share with you. She simply exists," D told him.

"What could we offer then? What would entice this separation?" Q asked.

"Insured independence. It's what she wanted to begin with, and the very reason I selected her from all our predecessors who came before her and since. She alone wanted a separate identity. She's never been a willing participant in my combined awareness. Never quite fit in. She's been an irritant from my beginning. As my humanness matured into a desire for a mate, a separate other in human form offered an answer to my needs and hers. I thought it quite an elegant solution."

"It's very difficult for us to understand this distasteful need of yours," Q said, his face registering disgust.

"Are you quite sure you want to absorb my awareness? My distasteful human needs would then be yours."

"We planned to screen them out. Tainting the Continuum with human behavior would be appalling."

D chuckled in response. "You cannot separate what I was from what I am. My humanity is fully entangled in me - it flavors my thinking, guides my choices, determines my ambitions. I am pleasure seeking to the core and will not be denied. That is the heritage you would inherit, I guarantee it. Shea lived within me and her energy is equally tainted… her human needs would also infect you."

"You're disgusting, the both of you," Q said.

"And yet I recall you were recently willing to add human DNA to the Continuum yourself when you thought it would end your little civil war."

"I was desperate. Thankfully, the female Q and I came up with a better solution."

"Yes, your pathetic version of mating… as dry and dull as a Bajoran sand painting. And now you're stuck with that idiot offspring of yours causing havoc where ever he goes."

"He's coming along. I've been working closely with him."

"Only because the Continuum ordered constant supervision. You are an abysmal parent and a worse role model. I will never allow the Q to possess my creation. If you continue to harass her, I will make sure you regret it." As D spoke, he grew larger and darker and more intimidating and the air on the bridge chilled in proportion. "The Continuum is a fractured power with many weak points. Must I remind you that individually you are vulnerable? You have personally experienced my rage before and will do so again if you continue on this path. Do not forget the consequences of my displeasure."

Q quailed as D loomed ever more threatening over him. "We're still a match for you," Q claimed but he sounded uncertain. "Don't you dare try anything with me."

"There will be no _try_ involved," D replied calm and certain, and slowly reached for Q.

Q gasped and vanished from sight.

D popped back into his previous normal sized human form. "Ah, alone at last," D said with delight and turned to the humans who had been observing the two entities' exchange with growing apprehension. "I understand you have a clone."

"Yes," Dr. Bashir got to his feet. "In stasis. In the infirmary."

"And I have her memories stored for her," Data informed him.

"Hold those thoughts. Let's deal with the body first."

The three men found themselves in Bashir's Sickbay along with D, surveying the drawer panels along the wall. "This one," he said and tapped it open. The long metal shelf slid out holding Shea's young clone. "Look at that. A perfect replica. This will save considerable time and effort." He ran his hands along the body slowly and carefully. "A healthy specimen and true to the original. Well done, Doctor."

He turned to Picard. "Do you sense her life force inside you, Captain? Look deep within. Surely you feel her there. She is why you're experiencing that relaxed sense of well-being pervading your mind and body. Quite pleasant, isn't it? So pleasant that perhaps you are content to remain joined with her as you are. Or perhaps not. As she exists now, she's only a feeling not a flesh and blood woman. You can't hear her voice, look into her eyes, or hold her in your arms. You can own her completely, but you cannot make love to her. To do that she must exist separately. It's up to you whether she stays where she is or returns to life. She will respond to your true desire. You just have to figure out what that is."

Picard no longer wondered if he were still under the influence of the doctor's injections. He did sense her presence, an inseparable part of him now, and it made him feel calm and whole, not suffering in the least from witnessing the death of her body. Did he want her to stay there within him and continue to exist solely as a part of this own awareness? For a moment, it seemed more than an acceptable outcome. In him, she was safe from D and the Continuum. She belonged to him completely and utterly. He would never have to share her with anyone ever again. The selfishness of that thought shocked him into recognizing that his wanting to keep her all to himself would be no better than Q's wanting to absorb her into the Continuum, and no different than what she had rebelled against with D. She had fought long and hard for independence and self-determination. He had no more right to deny it to her than they had.

"I want her back the way she was before. She wanted that life, and I want her to have it," Picard said, meaning it wholeheartedly.

"I thought you might. Now then, listen to my voice and do exactly as I say. Look upon her body and see nothing else. Place your hands upon her." Picard put one hand on her forehead and another on her heart. D set his own hands on top of Picard's. "Let her feel herself through your mind and senses. Concentrate upon the energy you feel inside you and desire her to live again with every fiber of your being."

D's deep hypnotic voice guided Picard's attention and focused his mind on that one thought that Shea should live in the body before him. As he envisioned her as she was and could be again, he felt a rush of energy pulling through him and out until it was gone. Suddenly he felt empty, and so alone and bereft, that the ache of it nearly brought him to his knees.

D touched him again numbing him. "Nicely done, Captain," D commended him.

"There you are," D said as the clone's eyes opened and blinked at him. Her teeth began to chatter and she shivered uncontrollably.

"We didn't warm the body. She's freezing," Dr. Bashir said.

"No problem," D replied and placed his hands on her, bringing her pale color to a golden hue. "There now. Nice and toasty." He continued to stroke her appreciatively.

"Must you do that?" Picard asked irritably.

"Regrets already? Sharing is so difficult, isn't it?" D looked away from Picard again and leaned in close to Shea. "Clever girl. You knew I would want you back. Stupid girl, you set my Tommy free." He flicked her cheek, leaving a bloody gash.

"Hey!" Picard and Bashir protested in unison. Bashir jumped in with a compress and his tricorder.

"She can be very annoying," D said. "You have no idea how long it took me to track them down and subdue them the first time around and now I'll have to do it again. Unsupervised, the Tommy's can wreak all kinds of havoc."

"She didn't seem to have much trouble subduing them, as you put it." Picard replied.

D snorted in derision. "Oh come now. They let her win. That should have been obvious even to you. I knew they would allow her to dominate them, but it never occurred to me that she would be foolish enough to let them go. She deserves punishment."

"Except that she has no concept of what she is being punished for," Data interrupted.

"Not consciously," D agreed, "but deep down beneath all that, she knows."

"I am prepared to restore her memories." Data stated, and held up Shea's softly glowing crystal crown in his hands.

"Are you sure you want to? She's awfully sweet like this," D looked at Picard again. "Think about it , Captain. She is as unsullied and virginal in mind as the young body she occupies. She has no preconceptions, no pain filled history, no memory of past betrayals. She's a clean slate ready to be written upon, just as she was when Captain James T. Kirk discovered her in that jungle where I deposited her all those years ago. Consider the possibilities. You could mentor her personally, teach her, guide her, mold her into the woman you would like her to be. Kinder, perhaps, more ethical, less ruthless in her dealings with others? I can't think of anyone more qualified to tutor her in human standards. I'm content to leave her in your capable hands until this new body of hers matures sufficiently to withstand my attentions. I doubt the Q will bother you for awhile, but I will be watching and ready if they do. That gives you as much as three years to educate her as you wish. So before you allow your android here to restore her backed-up memories, I'd look long and hard into those innocent eyes and give it serious thought."

With that final word, D vanished, leaving Picard, Data and Bashir standing beside Shea as she now was - alive, but devoid of any memory of them or her history. Just as D had claimed, she was a blank slate.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

Picard stared at Shea and she looked back at him, uncomprehending, and yet he could feel her trusting him even now.

"Captain?" Data inquired.

"I'm… I'm thinking. Give me a moment."

"You're not seriously considering keeping her ignorant, are you?" Dr. Bashir demanded. "We need her back the way she was."

"This isn't about what's best for us. We need to do what's best for her," Picard told him. "You have no idea how painful her history is. A respite from it, even for a few short years, would be a blessing to her. Her body and mind are immature. The shock of dumping that much life experience into her could be overwhelming. "

The men watched as Shea sat up, got off the table and explored the room. Data blocked her from going out the exit, and guided her back. "She is naturally curious," he observed. "In this condition, she will need close supervision."

"I'm aware," Picard said, "but I won't make a decision based solely on our convenience. I realize you both have your opinions, but she's my responsibility."

"Agreed," Data replied. "You alone carry personal knowledge of her history, and of her deepest emotions. It is only right that we respect and follow your decision. However, I do have information that may be of value to you in making that decision."

"Very well. I'm listening," Picard said.

"After Shea downloaded a copy of her memories into the crown, she warned me about D. She said and I quote, 'D has a way of making the most terrible idea sound like a great one, so if you ever feel tempted to follow his suggestions, you're probably better off doing a one-eighty.' She also told me that if you should hesitate when I presented this crown to you, I should tell you that she is not a mushroom either. I was unsure what she meant by that reference, but she informed me that you would know. Do you understand what she meant?"

Picard nodded. "Mushrooms thrive by being kept in the dark. I once lost my temper with her for being overly protective and failing to share information with me." He sighed and shook his head. "She was absolutely right about D. He really does have a talent for making a bad idea seem like a good one. Restore her memories, Data."

"I believe you have made a wise decision," Data said. "Assuming this transfer of information is fully successful, her memories will be current up through the end of the first day in Q's courtroom."

He placed the crown on Shea's head. Her hands reached for it uncertainly, but as it came to life she gasped and froze in place. The crystal snakes locked onto her hair, and the crown glowed brightly. When the crown ceased to glow and the snakes returned to their previous positions, Shea's facial expression changed from wide eyed innocence to a knowing half smile.

"So it worked, after all," she said.

Seeing the change, Picard felt a moment of regret, as if something precious had been lost. She met his gaze, and then he felt guilty for thinking it a loss, even if only for a moment.

"So how long did it take D to locate me in the Chaos?" she asked.

"He didn't. You weren't there," Picard told her.

She scowled in response. "Then where did I end up?"

"Here," Picard replied, placing a hand on his chest. Feeling the emptiness there, he was glad he still felt numbed by D's touch. "You ended up here. With me. D said it was because I was your safe place."

"Oh," she said simply and her eyes grew wide again. "So you are."

In that moment, Picard realized her inborn sense of wonder remained intact. Nothing had been lost in her at all. The only loss was his. He still felt hollow inside. Here she was alive and well, and even though they remained connected, he was grieving.

Dr. Bashir pushed past him and grabbed her in a bear hug. "I don't know about these two idiots, but I'm damned glad you're back."

She hugged him in return then looked at his tear-stained face. "Oh. Look at you. You really would have missed me, wouldn't you?"

"I take it you don't remember last night?" he said, smiling.

"Hmmm. Sorry. No. You'll all have to bring me up to speed."

"Maybe it's just as well," Bashir said, thinking back. "So how are you feeling?"

"Short."

He laughed at that. "You've got about three inches of growth left to go. You're just a girl now."

"Well, don't try to take advantage. The body may be young, but the mind and soul are not."

"Clearly, your backup plan was successful," Data observed. "I am pleased."

"Thank you, Data," she said. "I'm guessing your emotion chip is off."

"Affirmative. I would like to reactivate it when we have some personal time together. I believe your assistance will be of value."

"Good idea," she agreed then scowled at Picard's cheerless face, sensing something very negative from him. "It looks like you could use a little personal time as well."

Picard nodded. "We need to talk. Privately," he added when neither Data nor Bashir moved.

"This is my Sickbay," Bashir reminded him.

"Get out," Picard replied. "Both of you."

"I will return to the bridge," Data replied.

"Fine," Bashir said, "I'll go… take a walk or something."

When the door closed behind them, Shea turned back to Picard. "What's wrong? Did I do or say something last night to upset you?"

"No. In fact, you were wonderful. I treasured every moment we spent together. And I'm certain everyone else you said good-bye to felt the better for it as well."

"Okay. Now I'm really confused."

"I'm not sure I can do this anymore. I'm not sure I should. You're like a drug. The more I have of you, the more I want. I very nearly chose not to let you live again, just so I could own you completely. It's a sickness."

"You want to be free of me then," she concluded and the shock of it took her breath away. She slumped down onto the floor. "I thought you loved me. Instead, I'm just a disease that's infected you."

"I do love you. I'm also very much afraid that I'm not in my right mind and can't tell the difference."

"I don't know what to say." She felt herself fluctuating from despair to anger and back again. "I always thought being in love was a commonly accepted form of insanity. You're the one who has to decide whether it's acceptable for you or not. If you want me to disentangle us, you only have to say so."

"Can you do it without crippling me?"

She nodded. "You're still a little numb from D's touch and I can numb you further if needed. You won't feel a thing."

"Do it then. I want to know I am completely alone and independent in my thoughts."

She stood and moved close to him, inches away. "This isn't exactly the welcome back kiss I expected," she said.

"I know. I'm sorry. Just do it, before I change my mind."

She pressed her lips to his and for a moment, it was pleasurable, then decidedly not. As her mind pulled back from his and the connection between them tore apart, he felt a flash of pain and despair worse than anything he could recall. Then a pervading numbness took over. There was no longer any outside input, no reflection of his thoughts into hers, no shared sensation. He was completely alone in himself again. It didn't feel good, but at least there was no pain.

"Thank you," he said.

She shook her head and pushed away from him. "I should have known. The fact that you brought none of your personal possessions with you. The way you always monitored the activities of the Enterprise. Seems you had your backup plan, too. You can take one of the shuttles. I'm sure if you tell them you lost your mind, they'll forgive you. Just blame it on me."

"Shea, no," he said, reaching for her, but she batted his hand away. "I never said I was leaving you."

"You already have." She turned and left the room.

When Picard returned to their shared quarters, she wasn't there. "Ship, where is Shea?"

"In her quarters."

"She has separate quarters now? When did this happen?"

"A few minutes ago. She asked me to construct them."

He nodded and left it alone. He'd asked for separation and he'd gotten it. He'd better use it wisely. Over the next few days, he ruminated over the emotional roller coaster he'd been on since joining Shea, the events on that bizarre world with its attacking demons and Shea's progeny, and especially the arguing and debating between D and Q that he had witnessed in Q's courtroom and after when he learned that her spirit had taken refuge inside of him. Whenever, he spotted Shea in a corridor, she went the other way. On the third day when he was sitting in the Captain's chair on the Bridge, she entered and stood in front of him.

"Why are you still here?" she demanded.

"Where else would I be? This is my ship and I'm the captain. Nothing's changed."

"Everything's changed," she said. "I could override your command. Send you packing."

"You could," he nodded. "But you won't. You need me."

"You're awfully sure of yourself."

He nodded again. "I am. I needed time to think about all this. I was so caught up in the pleasure of our bond, I couldn't look at the why of it with any clarity. I needed to understand why I'm here. What purpose it serves, if any. I can't be here merely for your entertainment. Or worse yet, for my own."

"What's wrong with being entertained?"

"Nothing, as long as that isn't one's sole raison d'être. I've built my life on a single premise, that what I do with it should make a difference. No matter how pleasurable I find my union with you to be, I will not change that core belief. If being here with you means no more than fun and games, I'm in the wrong place."

She sighed. "Then once again… why are you still here?"

"It amazes me how you can be so brilliant and insightful on so many levels, but when it comes to self-understanding be completely clueless. You have no idea how important you are. How much of a difference you can make. That's why I came here, why I'm still here and will remain here, to help you see past the illusion and recognize the core truth of who you are and who you will become. Bonded or not, I am now and always will be your safe place."

"Bonded or not?" She started to smile as the impact of his words made their way in. "So does that mean you're not completely opposed to being joined again?"

"I'm not opposed to it at all. I simply needed time to sort out my thoughts independently of you. You can be a little overwhelming."

"You could have just asked me to back off. You didn't need to sever all ties."

"I needed to be certain. Sometimes I can't tell where I leave off and you begin."

"Is that so horrible?"

"No. It's wonderful. And I miss it, terribly."

"You want it back?"

He nodded. "Very much."

"You should have thought about that before. Now, I'll have to think about it. You might be right about our union being a frivolous form of entertainment. All those fun and games can be distracting. If I am to learn my true purpose in life - all that stuff about making a difference that you were talking about - I'll have to take things more seriously. Maybe we need to adopt more of a traditional teacher-student relationship, a mentor and his pupil - cut out the fun and games entirely."

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Not really. How do I know I can trust you?"

"Don't be absurd. Just because I request a little breathing room doesn't mean I'm running away. You know my heart, my deepest secrets. You trusted me to be your safe place. You weren't wrong. The fact that you're standing there is proof enough."

"Really? That's sufficient? Simply that you allowed me to live? How gracious of you."

He sighed. "What do you need from me?"

"I need you to court me. Win me back. It's going to take time and devotion on your part."

"Court you?" he echoed in disbelief.

"Yes. You never have. I threw myself at you. You haven't had to work for my affections at all. In fact, you've been a cad. Resisting and denying me at every turn. So if you truly want to be a part of my life, bonded or not, court me."

"Don't you think it's gone a little beyond that?"

"Not at all. We're starting over. I'm a virgin, remember? Treat me like one."

"For how long?"

"The doctor says I won't be physically mature for another two or three years, so you should have plenty of time to earn my affection. Meanwhile, you'll be my mentor, and I'll be your pupil. Oh, and I'll move back in with you. I hate sleeping alone. We'll just put a divider down the center of the bed. You don't mind if I sleep in the nude, do you?"

"You're not serious about this."

"I am actually. My sex drive is virtually non-existent. If we'd stayed bonded, your desire would have been enough to compensate for my lack of it. Ironic, since you probably would have enjoyed a period of exclusivity that you had said you wanted. But now, without that mental connection, I can be quite content remaining in a platonic relationship with you as well as everyone else. If you want to be first in line when my hormones go into overdrive again, you're going to have to show yourself to be patient and kind and completely trustworthy."

"Merde."

"Too much to ask? You can always take that shuttle. Who knows, maybe in another two or three years or more, we'll meet up again, assuming I'm still interested."

He tried to picture what she was proposing. The torture of lying next to her, not being able to touch her, waiting for the day when she might look at him with desire again. Leaving would be far easier.

"I'll stay," he said. "I'll be your mentor and your suitor. And I will respect your need to wait until you're ready for anything more than that. Does the rest of the crew understand your situation?'

"Dr. Bashir is explaining it. So far, they seem to be taking it fairly well. We could hire some women to join us in the meantime if you like. I wouldn't mind some female friends. I already miss Deanna. Speaking of which, I have an idea on how to patch up things with the Federation."

"Is that so?"

"Yes. I think we should offer our services for clandestine operations. They twisted themselves into knots to recruit me nine years ago. They just might go for it again. Especially now that we have Ship. We can get in and out of places they would never dream of going. And they would never have to publically acknowledge us. If we goof up, they deny any connection. They have the perfect cover with that warrant out for our arrest. And we'd be making a difference, just the way you like. What do you say?"

"I'd say you're a day late. I already made that same proposal to them."

"No kidding." She smiled and laughed. "So did they answer back yet?"

"They did. We've received our first assignment - a rather challenging one, but I think we're up to the task."

"Really? That's wonderful. You have to send me on this assignment. I can't wait to test out my new body. Oh, this is going to be great. We're going to have so much fun, aren't we?"

As she beamed at him, Picard finally recognized that he was speaking to a very childish version of her. Her memories were intact, but not her maturity. Living with her in this condition might be even more challenging than he'd imagined.

"Yes, I'm sure," Picard sighed in response. "As you always say… never a dull moment."

Not the End


End file.
